In any ordinary life (In any oridnary Book 1) (14 page)

Chapter 12

As days turned into weeks before she knew it two month’s had passed and Jeanie had circulated her life between the factory, the garage and home.

   Without knowing she had crept silently back into her old life without a hitch. Ivy on the other hand had grown increasingly worried about Jeanie’s reclusive behaviour.

   Jeanie had stopped all contact with the outside world and other than work she didn’t want to know or even care about anything else. Ivy wanted to ask her a thousand times what went on between her and James, but she couldn’t. She had become so withdrawn that even fun had become second nature.

   Jayne on the other hand had blossomed and was the picture of her mother. Her golden hair and bright blue eyes were enchanting and Jeanie adored being around her.

   Jeanie lay on the couch engulfed in her engineering manual and as Ivy sat playing with her daughter she couldn’t help but look at the intensity of Jeanie’s concentration.

“Why don’t we go out Jea? You look lost in that book and I really think it would do both of us some good to get out?” Jeanie raised an eyebrow and commented never lifting her gaze.

“No thanks got too much on and I’ve got a problem on number two line so I’m heading back to work soon.”

“Right I’m sick of this melancholy we are going out.” storming across the room she grabbed Jeanie’s coat from the stand parading it until Jeanie took notice.

“Mum I’m taking Jeanie out we won’t be long will you be ok with Jayne, “Irene’s voice echoed from the kitchen, “Ok love yep no problem be careful.”

   Jeanie shook her head and picked up her book continuing to read Ivy stood impatiently waiting for another response.

“Jeanie get your arse off that settee and come on.” Sighing heavily Jeanie wearily and easily defeated placed the book on the couch taking her coat she waded towards the door.

“See you in a bit.” And with that Ivy closed the door.

   Walking along the garden path Ivy linked her arm with Jeanie’s, “So what now pictures, pub?” Jeanie was silent her, knowing her sister had spoke to Rose weeks earlier she knew it wouldn’t be long until the Spanish inquisition started.

“Can we walk for a bit first?” Ivy held onto her sister tight, questioning Jeanie only seemed to clam her up more and as they walked the silence grew and Ivy became uncomfortable.

   Ivy clambered the steps to the Old Cock pub with a sprint. “Come on you can buy me a drink and tell me all your worries.” Jeanie’s reluctance even on the walk grew as she dragged herself from step to step. On entering together Jeanie headed for a quiet spot in the corner to hide.

   As Ivy sat down with the drinks before being given a chance to use her interrogation techniques Jeanie looked as if she had something to say. “What’s wrong, come on you can tell me you always used to tell me everything, don’t bottle it up come on.” Jeanie looked at the ceiling and sighed again knowing she wasn’t going to able to get on with her melancholic existence.

   As the hours passed Jeanie relayed her troubles in detail and laid her heart on the table for Ivy to help mend, nothing else she had tried had made any difference.

   Ivy listened with intent occasionally comforting her sister.

“Well I don’t know what you did to that doctor he’s been in here twice looking for you. Last time I saw him he was as anxious as a cat having kittens. I believe he’s been sat outside the parish rooms for an hour.”

Ivy turned towards Jeanie still holding her hand from the heart to heart “Listen lets go home. Thanks Jim.”

   Rising from there seats Jeanie began to feel quite sick everything spun around so quickly that the nausea rose and sank with every step.

   Ivy held her tight knowing how much tonight had meant and knowing how hard it was for Jeanie to relay her mistakes for judgement. Even though the silence was still evident Ivy couldn’t help but notice how pretty Jeanie looked in the moonlight. Her hair glistened and sparkled as the rays hit from above and as much of the turmoil she had inside on the outside she glowed.

   Ivy held her as they turned the corner close to home and noticing a car at the front of the house Jeanie’s stomach turned again. She squeezed Ivy’s hand so tight that finger marks had started to appear on her skin.

   Two gentlemen stood inside the cottage porch and intrigued as to why an army car was visiting so late Ivy walked through the door first “What’s happening here?”

   Jeanie realised immediately and as she stepped into the hallway the atmosphere shifted heavily.

“Ivy go and sit down in the living room I will be in shortly.

Gentlemen just give me the telegram and go away.” Irene stood firm behind Jeanie for support, “I can’t madam I’ve got to give it to Mrs I Stanton.” Jeanie stood toe to toe with the private and stated her case again. “Again, I will deliver the message just leave.”

   Ivy opened the door on hearing the commotion and inquisitively stepped back out towards the porch, “What message, Jeanie what message.” Ivy paused as tears began to well, “its George isn’t it, “Ivy screamed at Jeanie, “its George isn’t it.”

   The telegram passed into Ivy’s hand and Jeanie in anger pushed both of the men back through the door. Irene took the message and read it back, “Dear Mrs Stanton, I regret to announce that your husband George Stanton has been killed in action.”

   Her sisters couldn’t help but acknowledge the chaos and one by one they started to appear as the news spread through the household like a plague.

   Jeanie felt powerless and she knew nothing would take the pain away and now her niece would never meet her father. Taking Jayne out of her crib she placed her in Ivy’s arms and as she lay there Jeanie’s heart sank all her problems seemed futile. Her self loathing and pity had made her loose sight of the importance of her family.

   Kissing the infant she brushed her hair away from her eyes and started towards the kitchen. Standing at the door Jeanie watched the rain roll down the glass and as she closed her eyes as the sickness returned.

   Watching the moon disappear behind the thick dark cloud she knew nothing else mattered except the need to look after her family.

   Taking deep breathes and waiting for the nausea to subside she rejoined the group. Jeanie whispered softly to the infant and the waves of disbelief crossed each siblings face. Holding onto Irene’s hand Jeanie bonded them solidly together.

“As long as we’ve got each other we can do anything and I promise no matter what I will love and support you until the end.”

Chapter 13

Jeanie moved Ivy and the baby back into her bedroom knowing they needed more security now George wasn’t coming home.

   Ivy put on a brave face on for her family and the incessant “are you ok?” questions had become more of an annoyance as she started the grieving process.

   The comfort of having Jayne gave her purpose and Jeanie saw the reliance Ivy felt towards her.

   The house had been turned upside down by the news and Jayne had not slept in days. When Jeanie left for the base both infant and mother were sleeping soundly and in all of it’s turmoil at least peace and quiet had reigned for a few small hours. 

   Reaching the garage Jeanie called Mike into the office trying to get to grips where they now stood.

“How many left.”

“We’ve got 260 out of the 500 done, but hey you’ve still got me boss lady.” He smiled cheekily and sat on Jeanie’s desk waiting for a response. Jeanie laid her head on the desk and put her hands over the back of her neck adjusting the hours worked and units fixed trying to surmise an end date.

“OK another ten done tonight and we need to get that new lathe bit to create that secondary bearing. Other than that let’s push on and hopefully we can get these completed some time this century”

“No prob’s boss. Just warning you as well your Lieutenant on the prowl wants figures. It’s bee non stop here with visitors just looking for you.”

   Jeanie had grown to love Mike. He was brash cheeky and always up for causing mischief but he made the days pass quicker and he was help. “Boss lady don’t take this the wrong way but you look like shit.”

“I don’t need a secondary opinion Mike I know exactly what I look like.”  

    As she organised the pieces of paper and parts manifest on the table Jeanie seemed perplexed even take aback by what had been left.

“Mike has there been anyone else in after me today?”

“I had some guy here before asking after you. Some crazy looking fella he looked like shit as well. Seemed concerned about you though and he liked asking a lot of questions as well. Why? You ok?”

  Disappearing in the rolls of her jumper her muffled response faded as she became lost in the note.

“And? Is there anything else I should know?” Mike got off the desk, looking like a school boy who had given an impertinent response. “Nothing just told him you were taking care of business at home. Oh by the way I’m sorry to hear about,”

“Its fine you drive the next one in and I’ll start stripping number 261 down.” Mike saluted in agreement and made his way out whistling in the background.

As the night drew in Jeanie’s arms and shoulders ached and as she sat on the edge of the pit looking across the courtyard she couldn’t help but feel part of something more.

   Movements had increased and more carriers were being brought into base. Flights had also increased and as she heard the thunders of traffic over head the buzz occupied her mind.

   Jeanie climbed back into the pit and continued to check the rear axle of the carrier. Everything she did was to help protect there freedom and every vehicle that made its way out of her garage was a step forward to help. More and more men where fighting for their lives and when Jeanie looked at the bigger picture the pandemonium over the last couple of months began to feel inconsequential.

   She wished things had turned out different, she also wished that Jayne and Ivy could have been spared the pain of loosing someone close that they loved. Deep inside however she felt somewhat relieved that she had at least lived something of which had been a fantasy for nearly 30 years of her life.

   Wondering where Mike had disappeared to she started to make her way through the yard. Placing on her gloves she tucked her clipboard underneath her arm.

   Looking up the sky it was clear and full of stars and she had never seen so many together. As she turned around to get a better look she started to walk backwards to gain a better view. The clusters gleamed brighter than usual and the constellations where lucid. Wondering in amazement she suddenly slipped backwards and as she rolled Jeanie tried to regain her composure.

“I’m really sorry. It was my fault day dreaming!” He lifted his head as Jeanie gasped and feeling a lump in her throat she struggled with her words. “James! Sorry I didn’t realise excuse me.”

“Jeanie wait. Jeanie please wait.”

“What am I doing?”  Catching his breath Jeanie could see him try to muster the words he needed to say. Looking at him she could see he felt just as awkward.

“Oh for God sake right come on brew time. You coming?”

“Love one thank you.” Surprised by her response he followed still wondering why she was attempting the conversation. Catching up he pulled at her arm, “No this way.”

“Where are we going?”

“I think this one is on me.”

Following mainly out of courtesy and due to the fact she had just squashed him she wondered why he so urgently wanted to speak.

   As the kettle boiled silence filled the air with James often sighing without mustering any words. As he passed the tea over she decided it was her turn to speak.

“How have you been not seen much of you?”

“Fine I’ve been ok, but I would have said you had been avoiding me?” Jeanie chuckled a little and nodded, “Any surprise.  Listen I do understand and I’m ok sometimes it feel’s a little awkward but whatever will be!” James looked at her seeing the small scar situated on her cheek the thought of the things he had done sent shivers down his spine.

“Jeanie I don’t think you understand and I’m not making excuses because I knew what I did. I can’t believe I hit you, but worse of all I can’t excuse any of my behaviour afterwards.”

“James you don’t have to its gone.”

“I do cause its only right you know the truth. After walking away from you that night I made it back here into the medical centre. Liz found me and sorted me out and over the next few weeks she proceeded to find me in a similar condition. After the fourth or fifth time of finding me passed out on the floor I spent the next ten hours telling her about you and what I did to you and as she started to undress me well you know the rest.” Jeanie sat uncomfortably on her chair listening to his demise, she had also experienced a moment of weakness and she couldn’t help but empathise with his situation.

“Jeanie the guilt is excruciating and I’m so sorry for hurting you and I would do anything to take it back but I can’t. I’m a complete arse and I know it, “Jeanie leaned over and took the cup from him trying to ease both hers and his conscience.

“I’ve recently done a couple of things which were stupid and irrational which have hurt me a lot. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I’ve had a big lesson to learn recently and that in this day and age life is too short and too tough. You see Ivy lost George and now I understand all the fighting and the arguing may seem tough but what she wouldn’t give to have all the petty squabbles back now!

   So I made a packed that I’m better off on my own not to be selfish but to dedicate it to the people that love me unconditionally. So far it’s working, it’s been boring, but its working.”

“Sounds like you have a plan.” James smiled into his tea feeling like Jeanie’s self confessed isolation was his doing.

“James this wasn’t just you and you’re being very naïve just to think that. We both have skeletons hiding and maybe we needed to take into account that some of us had a life before you proposed.” Smiling as she took another sip of the sweet milky tea.

“I get why you’re trying to be nice but thanks for the cheap swipe,” Jeanie felt just as guilty and knowing how lonely and desperate she felt was still no excuse for sleeping with John but, at least having the experience had made her understand James’s point of view.

“You’re welcome Mr Watson and at any time you want to go through this self confessional diatribe I am happy to be at your service.”

   Sitting back in her chair she felt comfortable in his company not wanting more than a friend she was happy that the awkwardness was actually a building block. Taking her cup he wrapped his hand around her fingers, “Does this mean we are at least friends Jeanie Rutherford?” Standing close she looked up and stared into his deep eyes her body remembering his warm hands and feel of his finger tips.

“For now Mr Watson. For now.”

   Sliding around the door she smiled coyly. She had put him to far up on a pedestal to understand that even someone as perfect as him had to have his own set of flaws. She also had to take into account that she hadn’t acted like an angel and knowing John wasn’t going to stop the sanctity of at least having James’s friendship felt like an added piece of security.

   Walking over to vehicle 261 Jeanie realised she had left her clipboard, as she turned she saw James running out, “I think you forgot this,” handing it back his fingers lingered on the edge of the board

“Thank you…I was just on my way back.” As Jeanie took the clipboard he kissed her softly on the cheek. “You place next time for tea then Miss Rutherford.” As he walked away she felt a cold chill down her spine and the small pricks of electric shock breathing life back into her heart.

   Biting her lip and slumping her hands back into her pockets her mind wandered over the course of the evenings events. Feeling perplexed Jeanie jumped in the driver’s seat and took the vehicle over to the garage. She contemplated their conversation and small glimpse of wondering in each others eyes.

Shaking her head she heard Mike rambling to himself and remembered that he was just in time to be scolded about his disappearance

“Oh boss lady come on what are you waiting for?” Standing at the foot of the door he pointed to his watch, “Where the fuck have you been?”

“Mike you’re a cheeky bastard but I have to love you.” His playful nature and cheeky smile automatically made Jeanie snap to her senses. James was a casual meeting and work had to be done and men where definitely off the radar.

Walking home the next morning Jeanie leant over the wall at the church yard and took an apple off the tree and as she bit into it Ivy appeared with Jayne. “I saw you scrumping apples Miss Rutherford, what kind of a role model is that for your niece??”

“How you doing?” Ivy straightened Jayne’s blanket trying not to look at her sister and after shrugging her shoulders she changed the subject.

“Anyway how was your day?”

“Unusual busy but unusual.” Jeanie bit her lip again thinking of James rolling on the floor and the tender kiss afterwards. Ivy smiling at her sister knew exactly what she had thought, “Saw James today then did we” “Umm… well men aren’t my thing so celibacy and looking after your kids will be my next job.” Ivy giggled at Jeanie’s sarcastic remark.  “Tired now time for sleep me thinks. I bid you a fond adieu Mrs and Miss Stanton.” Jeanie bowed as she opened the door and Ivy smiled again at her lightened humour.

Sitting on the bench at the front porch the sun warmed her face and as she took in a deep sigh, she thought of George and how they had made love in field at the side of the house. She felt him close and his breath on her neck.

   Opening her eyes she noticed Jayne had gone to sleep the peace and quiet of the morning air made her bright blonde hair sparkle in its warmth. Ivy gazed at her daughter and how unrecognisable she seemed. She didn’t look like him and she didn’t smell like him and as her eyes welled with tears she couldn’t help but feel her guilt.

“Oh George why now I’ll be ok I know I will Jeanie’s always been their. I never knew until know and maybe I never appreciated her the way I should have but I know she’ll always be here for me.

George if you can hear me you made me happy I was happy I just didn’t appreciate it and I was wrong I’m so sorry. Maybe I need to forgive myself before I can say goodbye. So be patient I just need some more time.”

   Pulling a glistening white handkerchief out of her sleeve, Ivy wiped away her tears. Jeanie had already advised Ivy to talk to him and she thought she would feel stupid instead she felt relieved.

   Taking Jayne back inside the house Jeanie was still sat in the kitchen having her ear chewed off by Irene. Hearing the door close Jeanie turned her head around and watched Ivy enter the hallway with the pram, smiling and rolling her eyes at Irene’s comments Ivy relaxed back into the morning routine.