In Your Honor (27 page)

He had no idea what he was going to say or
if she would even be happy to see him. He was poring over all the
possibilities, second-guessing coming here at all. He was just
about ready to turn around to get back in the car when the door
opened.

Her red hair was still as vibrant as ever.
Green eyes that matched his in shape, color and tone stared at him
in shock and surprise.

“
Blake?” she breathed,
like she didn't believe she was seeing what she was
seeing.

“
Hey, Mama.” He tried to
smile but faltered, feeling his vision begin to burn. This had been
a bad idea. No way was she going to be okay with him just showing
up, he should have called first. And then she was hugging him.
Tears running down her cheeks, she wrapped him in her arms and he
instinctively buried his face in her neck.

“
I have missed you,” she
said as she held him tightly.

“
I'm so sorry I haven't—”
he tried to apologize, but she pulled away to scold him
gently.

“
Shh, just stop right
there.” She put a finger on his lips. “My baby is home, I don't
need apologies.” She wiped her face with her hands and laughed as
she ran her wet hands down the front of her jeans. “Good Lord, look
at me, weepin' like a choir girl.” She grabbed his hand and tugged
him into the house. “I just finished supper, I hope you're
hungry.”

Blake wasn't sure if he'd
ever be able to explain the lifting of his spirit that occurred in
that moment. Mama's hug, her joy at seeing him, walking into the
house he grew up in, the feeling of
welcome
that engulfed him, it was
more than enough to alleviate his guilt for staying away for so
long. Even if it was brief.

She immediately went to work setting an
extra place at the table and filling him in on all the changes he
had missed while he'd been gone. She spoke swiftly, like she was
afraid he was going to get up at any second and leave before she
got it all out. His crooked smile was firmly in place as he
listened to all of her words while eating the home-cooked meal that
had been sorely lacking in his life.

She'd replaced the cabinets in the kitchen
and bought a dishwasher. The guest room upstairs was now an art
studio where she taught some kids from town. She had sold her car
and gotten a pickup. And the garden out back was double what it
used to be. He smiled gladly as she handed him a second serving of
roast beef.

“
Now that we got all my
boring details out of the way, I want to know all about the life of
my rock star son.” Her green eyes danced with mischief, and he knew
that she had more information than she was letting on.

“
What do you know
already?” he asked, amused at her wily nature.

“
Only what's all over your
band's website. I stalk the fan forums pretty frequently as well,”
she added with a snicker. “And Triny Newton stops by every couple
of days with an update.”

“
So you know that Lucy is
on tour with us then?”

She watched him closely as he poured himself
another glass of sweet tea, trying to keep his face even.

“
I have a feelin' that's
what brought you home.”

Blake clenched his jaw slightly. “You're not
wrong,” he admitted quietly.

“
Well,” she spoke
realistically, “what's stoppin' ya?”

“
A lot of things.” He
shook his head. “Mostly myself.” He finished the last bite and sat
back in his chair, staring at his clean plate. When he looked up at
his mama she was watching him intently, that ever-knowing look on
her face.

“
Have you told her how you
feel?” she asked gently, and Blake felt his face get
hot.

“
Not in so many words.”
His voice was suddenly hoarse. “And there's another guy involved
now.”

Her smile softened as compassion took over.
As if she knew all the things he was dreading and yet was now
willing to face.

“
How long do we have?” she
asked deliberately.

“
A week. Then I have a
show to make in San Diego.”

She slowly nodded her head. “You can do
this, Blake.”

Blake felt a hope begin to
burn like a tiny candle flame in his chest at her words. He hadn't
dared to believe that he might
actually
accomplish anything this
week, but with that look on his mama's face... he was thinking
about it now.

“
Will you help me?” he
asked, his throat tight as he tried to swallow the lump that had
seemed to settle there.

“
Baby, you don't even have
to ask.” She smiled at him and pushed back from the table. “But
first things first, let's do these dishes and then we can focus
better on the serious stuff.”

“
Yes, ma'am.” He gave her
a crooked smile and started to gather the plates and glasses from
the table.

As they loaded the dishwasher and he wiped
down the table and countertops, they joked easily. He told stories
about Sway, his mama's favorite band member, and delighted in
hearing her easy laugh again. He left out the fight with Luke, as
it didn't seem relevant and she would just worry.

When they had finished, she led him out to
the front porch and they sat on the swing together. The night air
blew across them peacefully, bringing with it the smell of fresh
cut lawns and someone's nearby barbeque, and Blake regretted
staying away for so long. Again. He seemed to be regretting
everything these days.

“
I remember when your
daddy built this thing.” Mama ran her hand lovingly across the
rough edges of the swing. “He was planning on making a business out
of it. Said that it would make us rich someday.”

Blake didn't answer, he knew the story well.
But that's not what had happened, his daddy hadn't made anymore.
He'd never gotten the chance.

“
Oh, I loved that man,”
Mama said wistfully.

“
Don't you miss him?”
Blake asked darkly.

“
Everyday,” she nodded in
affirmation. “But it doesn't hurt like it used to.”

The evening air stilled around them and
Blake tasted bitterness in his mouth with his next words. Words
that he'd always wondered but never dared to ask. “Would you do it
again?”

“
Without a doubt,” she
answered with her quiet southern conviction. She laid her hand on
his arm and he refused to look at her, for fear he'd finally
succumb to his unhappiness.

“
Is that what you're
afraid of? That if you let yourself love Lucy, she'll leave
you?”

“
No, Mama. It's worse than
that.” He worked his jaw back and forth, grinding his teeth
together, and then trying not to picture Lucy's calm face as she
would press against his jaw to ease his tension. “I'm scared that I
could leave her the way daddy left you. I can't handle the thought
of her being alone.” He dropped his head slightly. “She shouldn't
ever be alone.”

“
Oh, baby,” Mama squeezed
his arm. “Your daddy didn't leave us. He was taken. You know
that.”

“
Semantics,” he growled.
“He took a job he knew was dangerous and you ended up
alone.”

“
Blake,” she said sternly,
and he finally looked at her. “You're plain wrong and you need to
stop blamin' your daddy for your bad choices.”

“
You think I don't know
how messed up I am? That I don't know my thinkin' is all
backwards?” His hands started to shake and he looked down at his
fists in his lap again. “I'm so damn ashamed of myself some
days...”

She let him sit in his own turmoil for
several long minutes. Mama always did know when to let the guilt do
the work for her. He huffed out a breath of discontent and turned
to face her.

“
That's why I'm here,” he
confessed. “I need help. I can't figure this out by
myself.”

Lucy had a hard time tearing her gaze from
the exquisite man driving the beat-up Land Rover to her left. She
would glance at the traffic and passing scenery periodically, but
it was all a swirl of sunlight and color. She was still having a
hard time believing this was all real, it felt so much like a
dream. That weightless feeling of existing in a surreal fantasy
flooded her senses and caused her to question her mental stability.
She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that someone like Shane
wasn't just taking her on a date, but had gone out of his way in
several different areas of his life to include her this week. Had
put her in his life. Had arranged and planned and eagerly talked
about her participation in his life when she felt anything but
adequate.

What the heck was he doing with her?

He chose that moment to give her a wink,
causing her stomach to do its now regular gymnastics routine
whenever she was with him. Reaching up to the visor, he grabbed his
sunglasses, sliding them onto his face with precision. He pushed a
CD into the player and the interior of the SUV was favored with
Brandon Boyd's vocals, causing Lucy's heart to stay at a low
simmer.

All the windows in the vehicle were
down, making her hair blow all over the place. She couldn't have
cared less. Gathering the wild, brown mess into a braid, she
secured the ends with an elastic and dropped her arm out the
window. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to connect
with the reality of the moment. The sun, the air, the tall, lean,
aesthetically pleasing man who was driving. She
wanted
to be overwhelmed. She
wanted
it to be more than she could
handle. That way, she would never forget it.

“
I can't express how great it is to
have you here.” Shane's deep voice cut into her thoughts
wonderfully. His words rolled across her already warm skin and made
her feel welcome.

She didn't hold back as she smiled at him
openly. “I'm happy to be here.” She couldn't have meant it
more.

The conversation was light as they drove
along, and she was happy that their easy rapport on the phone
transferred seamlessly into the real world. Being with Shane was
effortless. Completely angst-free and a whole new experience for
her, as far as relationships went.

When they pulled into the driveway of the
home where they would be staying, Lucy nearly fainted.

The wide, spacious drive was lined with palm
trees and the large stone covered home was more like a mansion than
a vacation home. But what would she know? While her father had been
a very successful musician, it was never flaunted in front of her.
Her parents had lived simply. If they had tons of money, she never
knew. She'd gone from small town girl, happy with her one bedroom
apartment, to living on a bus with a bunch of dudes and army-style
showers. She probably should have expected something glamorous and
over-the-top from the gold medal winning snowboarder.

The Rover came to a stop and Lucy stared up
at the house in awe. She looked over at Shane, who was watching her
with that amused expression of his.

“
What are you thinking?” he asked, his
voice that husky, intensely deep octave that made her
shiver.

“
That we're at the wrong place,” she
answered honestly.

Shane grinned and opened his door. “C'mon,
I'll show you around before it fills up with people.” He jogged
around the front of the SUV and opened her door for her. She took
the hand he extended and let him lead her into the stately vacation
home.

They entered through the kitchen and Lucy
was positive she had never seen one so huge. It looked like
something from a designer kitchen on one of those HGTV shows that
Taylor was always watching.

“
This is Serge.” Shane introduced a
man with a similar build but lighter complexion than Shane, who
stood when they entered. “This whole thing was his
idea.”

“
Pleasure.” Serge smiled warmly and
shook her hand. His pale blue eyes met hers briefly before he
looked at Shane apologetically. “There are two couples here this
weekend, so I gave you two the main suite upstairs for some
privacy.” He took a careful breath and Lucy wondered at his slight
accent. European? “I did not know Harmony would be with Steve. I
put them in the basement suite.”

“
Thanks, man.” Shane nodded his
appreciation and flicked his eyes to Lucy quickly before looking
back at Serge. “Oh, by the way, Clarke says 'what's
up.'”

“
How is Clarke?” Serge asked, a small
smile tugging on the corner of his mouth.

“
Still too young for you,” Shane
replied with a grin.

Serge shook his head and sighed, “Maybe I
should drive up there and say hello while I am around.”

“
Don't toy with the girl's heart,
Serge.” Shane's playful tone went serious. “You know she adores you
and nothing can ever come from it.”

Serge clapped Shane on the shoulder and gave
a small, sad smile. “That is, unfortunately, the truth. You are a
good man to look out for her.”

Shane pursed his lips and looked down. There
was a somberness to Shane that Lucy had never seen. He settled his
thoughts and looked back up, his face relaxed again. “Do you know
who else will be here this week?”

“
Not sure. Brady, Bo. Maybe Kip and
Adam.”

“
Can I ask where you're from?” Lucy
suddenly interjected. Serge turned his pale eyes on her
curiously.

“
Norway. Mostly.” He gave her a
playful grin and she felt her ears getting hot.