Read Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship Online
Authors: David Schnarch
Tags: #Family & Relationships, #Marriage & Long Term Relationships, #Psychology, #Emotions, #Human Sexuality, #Interpersonal Relations
211
The neurophysiology and neurochemistry of orgasm has also been documented. The same kind of dopamine pathway involved in romantic love is also activated during orgasm from women’s nucleus accumbens and men’s ventral tagmental area. Oxytocin is released at orgasm in both men and women, together with sympathetic autonomic activation (increased blood pressure, heart rate, and pupil diameter of the eye). Brain components involved in orgasm are the nucleus accumbens, cingulate cortex, insular cortex, amygdala, hippocampus, paraventricular nucleus (PVN) of the hypothalamus, basal ganglia, and cerebellum. After orgasm the amygdala is also deactivated. See
The Science of Orgasm
(Komisaruk, Beyer-Flores, & Whipple, 2006) for an excellent review.
212
Kohl & Francoeur (2002).
213
“Deep throat” is oral sex on a man in which the giver suppresses her (or his) gag reflex and takes the penis deep into the back of the throat.
214
Siegel, (2002) pp. 105–106.
NOTE:
An
‘n’
in the page number indicates a note;
‘nn’
indicates multiple notes. For example, 397
n
6 is page 397, note 6; 412
nn
164-165 is page 412, note 165 and note 166.
A
abuse
physical abuse by HDP in control of sex,
397
n
6
psychological effect on children,
234
–237,
269
–270,
271
–272,
301
–303
acceptance and forgiveness,
239
–241
accommodation
anxiety-regulation-through-accommodation,
171
–173
inability as proof of inadequacy in poorly balanced couples,
241
of sadistic parents,
217
See also
reflected sense of self
accurate self-confrontations,
202
–203
adultery, monogamy, and human nature,
133
–138,
165
–166,
244
,
409
n
127
agree to disagree versus gridlock,
81
–82
Allen, Woody,
352
American Psychiatric Association,
212
anger,
331
–332
anxiety
and autobiographical memory,
331
calming yourself in the face of partner’s,
280
from dependence,
171
–173
and eyes-open sex,
336
–337
fears and insecurity from abusive childhood,
234
–237,
269
–270,
271
–272,
301
–303
integrity versus,
70
physical effects of,
265
–266
pressure, and critical mass,
247
–251
during sex,
358
sexual boredom versus,
161
–162
therapeutic help with,
376
toleration for,
175
–176
See also
anxiety-regulation-through-accommodation; control; emotional gridlock
anxiety arousal,
415
n
191
anxiety-driven attachment,
238
–239
anxiety-regulation-through-accommodation
and normal marital sadism,
211
–212
overview,
171
–173
anxiety-tolerance,
175
–176
Art of Love, The
(Ovid),
63
asymptomatic partner,
397
n
5
attachment
anxiety-driven,
238
–239
and intimacy,
128
–129
masochism as,
215
needs based on parent-child relationship,
85
attachment-based therapy,
377
autobiographical memory
and heads on pillows,
326
and oral sex,
360
overview,
28
–29
and sex/physical activity,
372
–374
autonomy
defiance versus,
143
–144
reflected sense of self versus,
113
and sexual desire,
201
–202
B
bad-faith agreement, or Devil’s Pact,
221
–228
balance.
See
Four Points of Balance
behaviors
acceptance and forgiveness versus uncontrolled conflict,
240
–241
controlling your,
203
imitation of,
406
n
86
bilateral hemispherical integration,
283
–285,
303
,
312
–313,
317
,
359
biology
of mind-mapping,
52
of monogamy,
153
biology of the human brain
brain cell differentiation,
86
drives of sexual desire and love,
23
–25,
397
n
10,
398
n
12,
398
n
15,
398
nn
17–18
and low desire,
19
–20
neurophysiology and neurochemistry of orgasm,
418
n
211
neurotransmitters,
24
,
271
–272,
398
nn
14–15,
399
nn
24–25,
411
n
155,
412
n
163
and personal differentiation,
87
–88
and ticklishness,
296
–297
and ticklishness cure,
316
–317
Birth of the Mind, The
(Marcus),
403
n
48
borrowed functioning
dodging two-choice dilemmas,
199
subjugation of women as,
138
toll on the couple,
75
women choosing men with status,
138
Bowen, Murray,
400
n
29
brain.
See
human brain
Brietbart, William,
251
Buber, Martin,
44
Buddhism,
327
C
can’t live with ‘em or without ‘em syndrome,
89
–90