Read Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship Online
Authors: David Schnarch
Tags: #Family & Relationships, #Marriage & Long Term Relationships, #Psychology, #Emotions, #Human Sexuality, #Interpersonal Relations
Devil’s Pact,
221
–228
Diamond, Jared,
409
n
130
differentiation
and critical mass,
248
–249
and foreplay,
142
–143
holding on to yourself independently,
415
n
189
and intimacy,
111
intimacy, desire, and,
103
–104
pseudo-differentiation,
143
–144
and sexual desire,
154
–156
species differentiation,
86
–87
differentiation theory,
400
n
29
divorce
starting therapy on edge of,
225
–227
dysregulated brain,
328
E
ecological approach to love relationships,
35
–36
emotional balance,
89
,
90
–93,
147
–148.
See also
Four Points of Balance
emotional chess game,
77
emotional fusion
disguised as request for emotional support,
105
war within,
147
–148
emotional gridlock
from caring more about your partner than yourself,
166
–171
cure for,
94
–100
from dodging two-choice dilemmas,
199
methods for reaching,
114
–115
as normal and natural development,
82
other-validated intimacy as precursor to,
107
,
113
–115,
118
–119
emotional regulation,
328
–329
emotions.
See
feelings and emotions
estrogen,
24
evolution of man
and consciousness,
27
–30,
192
–197,
401
nn
34–36,
401
n
38,
402
n
39,
406
n
91
desire for sexual novelty and pair-bonding,
165
–166
species differentiation,
86
–87
wanting as differentiation from other species,
185
explicit memory,
283
–284
external enforcement of monogamy,
153
“eye of the hurricane” experiences,
252
eyes-open orgasm,
338
–339
eyes-open touch,
305
F
fears and insecurity
leading to gridlock,
82
–84
possessiveness and low desire from,
144
–148
feelings and emotions
anger, tolerating versus expressing,
331
–332
fears and insecurities leading to gridlock,
82
–84
of HDP for intimacy and LDP for sex,
102
–104
individual’s belief in reliability of,
14
–15
infants ability to imitate,
406
n
86
“Is this really me?” feeling,
175
love of being in love,
26
NMS as attacks on,
211
–215
See also
emotional gridlock; Quiet Mind–Calm Heart
fidelity versus monogamy,
134
folk psychology.
See
mind-mapping
forgiveness,
239
–241
Four Points of Balance
for acceptance and forgiveness ability,
240
–241
and critical mass,
250
–251
and desire for new sexual partners,
155
in everyday life,
97
freeing yourself to stand on your own,
149
and moving beyond your sexual limits,
164
–165
and revealing eroticism,
168
–169
and sex,
263
–264
and tender loving sex,
333
–334
for tolerating ambivalent feelings toward loved ones,
218
See also
Four Points of Balance concepts; Four Points of Balance practices; Grounded Responding; Meaningful Endurance; Quiet Mind–Calm Heart; Solid Flexible Self
Four Points of Balance Community (online),
378
Four Points of Balance concepts
autonomy.
See
autonomy
borrowed functioning.
See
borrowed functioning
collaborative alliances.
See
collaborative alliances
conflicts.
See
conflicts
differentiation.
See
differentiation
emotions.
See
emotional fusion; emotional gridlock
HDP.
See
high desire partner
human nature.
See
human nature
LDP.
See
low desire partner
moments of meeting.
See
moments of meeting
normal marital sadism.
See
sadism
reflected sense of self.
See
reflected sense of self
relationship ecology.
See
relationship ecology
sexual desire.
See
sexual desire; sexual desire problems; sexual desire problems as normal
wanting.
See
wanting
Four Points of Balance practices
fucking.
See
fucking
Grounded Responding.
See
Grounded Responding