Into the Flames (Out of the Ashes Book 2) (2 page)

“Grip my shoulders tight
, baby and don’t let go!”  He gives me a sly smile.  “There will be a time when you feel like you can’t hang on any longer that’s when I need you to grip me tighter.  I don’t want you to fall.”  With that, his head dips between my thighs and he licks through my folds.  Holy shit!  This is a completely new sensation for me.  I’m burning up from the inside out. 

“Dean!”  I half groan
, half scream his name.  He just smiles and continues his assault on my pussy. 

“Baby
, you taste like heaven.  I can’t wait to be in this sweet cunt.”  I flinch at his choice of words but with the things his mouth is doing the thought soon flees my mind.  He circles his tongue around and over my clit.  I hear myself moaning and screaming as his tongue finds its way into my warmth.  My knee feels like it’s about to give out and suddenly I know exactly what Dean was talking about.  I grip his shoulders so tightly I’m afraid my nails will draw blood but I can’t let go.  The intensity is building and I feel like I’m being ripped in two. 

“Dean, oh
god, Dean.”  I hardly recognize my own voice; the sensations he’s creating are almost too much.  Then he thrusts his tongue inside me and I come apart.  He laps at my juices bringing me down off my high and then drops my leg from his shoulder. 

“Sexiest fucking thing ever.  Lauren, I admit that I
’m little sad we haven’t done this before.  But you have been more than worth the wait, baby.  I hope I can make it through dinner though.”  He kisses me hard and deep allowing me to taste myself on his lips and tongue.  “Tonight.”  He whispers in my ear as he begins to wash up and get ready for the evening.

On
ce we finally manage to get out of the shower and get ready, we meet Daddy and Mother at the restaurant on the vineyard for a celebratory dinner.  I’m giddy with thoughts of what will happen later with Dean.  I feel more than ready for this and he’s been more than patient.  After the shower, I have a brief idea of what’s to come.  At the thought of what happened between us, I grow damp and Dean glances at me with a knowing smile as if he can tell exactly what I’m thinking about and is thinking the same thing himself.  My father clears his throat breaking the connection between the two of us.  “Alright love birds, enough making googly eyes at each other.”  His tone is light but there’s something behind it that I just can’t put my finger on.  Something not quite right.  “I was beginning to think the two of you were skipping dinner all together.”  He looks at Dean reproachfully as he says this. 

“Sorry, sir.  Lauren takes longer to get ready than I thought.  But it was
well worth the wait.”  He winks at me and smiles at the secret we share.  “She is so beautiful.”  I changed from the lace sheath to a black one shoulder mini dress.  The shoulder was made of black lace and the same lace trimmed the hem of the dress which came to barely mid thigh but I didn’t care.  I wanted to show off a little for Dean.  He wraps his arm around my waist and walks me to the table; his thumb brushing against my stomach ever so slightly.

“Well now, since we are celebrating I have already taken the liberty of having the vineyard bring some wine for us.  I know
your birthday is still a few weeks away but this is a special occasion.”  Daddy winks at me.  As we enjoy our wine, Daddy orders some scallops and escargot to start our meal.  Once we’ve finished those and ordered our meals, he raises his glass in a toast.  “To my beautiful daughter, the light of my life.  I’m so proud of you.  Today you’ve achieved a great dream and now you can spread your wings.  To your future.” With tears in my eyes, I tip my glass toward him and take a sip. 

Barely a whisper, I manage, “Thank you Daddy.”  He beams
back at me; his pride in my accomplishment apparent on his face.  Beside me, Dean clears his throat. 

“I wanted to wait for dessert but since we are making toasts…  I have one of my
own I would like to make.”  A strangled sound comes from my mother and I swear for a moment she blanches but then her face relaxes and she becomes poised as if nothing happened.  What’s going on with her?  Dean takes my hand.  “Lauren, like your father I’m so proud of you.  I know you plan to go on for your masters next fall but I’m hoping…  Well, I’m getting ahead of myself.  Lauren, you have become so much more to me than I could have imagined.  When I’m not with you, I’m constantly thinking of you.”  A choked sound comes from my mother and I see the tears in her eyes.  I turn my focus back to Dean.  He drops to one knee in front of me and produces a small black box from one his pockets.  Oh god, I did not see this coming.  “Lauren, I love you with everything I am.  Will you be my wife?”  He opens the box to reveal the most beautiful diamond solitaire set in platinum.  I throw my arms around his neck in delight.  Nothing could be more perfect than this moment.

“Yes, Dean.  Yes, there
’s nothing in this world I want more than to be your wife.”  Tears run down my cheeks.  I look at my mother and she’s crying also.  Could my mother actually be moved for something that was happening to me?  Could she actually care?  Daddy’s face is blank; he has taken on the stoic look so commonly worn by my mother.  I can’t tell if he’s happy or not. 

“Oh, baby, you have made me the happiest man ever.”  He brushe
s his lips to mine in a soft kiss.  “Later.”  He whispers and sits back down.  A few minutes after our meals arrive, Dean excuses himself with a look in mother’s direction. 

Now that it’s just the three of us, I lean
over to Daddy.  “Daddy, are you okay with this?”

“Sweetheart, I knew this was coming.  Dean asked me
last week if it would be alright for him to do this tonight.  But I must admit; it’s hard to lose my little girl.”  Mother jumps up suddenly excusing herself as well before Daddy continues.  “Just be careful with him.  I worry about you.”  His tone is ominous, foreboding.  He likes Dean, that much I know; he wouldn’t have someone working so closely with him if he didn’t like them.  And he’s happy that I’m happy but there’s something else, like a warning he’s trying to give me without saying it outright. 

That’s
the moment though that Dean returns to the table, straightening his tie.  He smiles at me and goes back to his meal without a word. A few minutes later mother returns and despite leaving to go clean herself up as she said, she looks worse than before she left.  I give her a curious glance but then again, I’ve never understood my mother and she never made any effort to understand me so we just sort of tolerate each other.

Dessert arrive
s and I’m glad for the distraction and for the meal to come to an end.  Since Dean’s proposal, things have become tight and a bit awkward.  I just want to get back to the cabin to spend the evening with him.  As we finish our meal, Daddy stands and extends a hand to my mother.  “I don’t think your mother and I will be staying after all.”  He glances from her to me and then over to Dean. 

“But Daddy
, what about our weekend?”

“Sweetheart, I want you to have some time with your new fiancé and not have to worry about your parents hovering over the two
of you.  Enjoy your weekend.”  He drops a kiss to my forehead and leads my mother from the restaurant. 

“Did I
upset him?”  Dean’s voice breaks into my reverie. 

“I don’t know what
’s going on.  He said he just wants us to have time to ourselves.”

“Baby, no news could be better than that.  I’m not sure we’ll leave tha
t cabin all weekend.”  He smiles and brings my hand to his lips, running light kisses across the knuckles.  “Shall we head back?”

Fire burns
deep within me from just his simple touch and suddenly I’m more than anxious to get back to our cabin.  “Yes.”  I stand and turn to leave. 

Dean grip
s my wrist and pulls me into him.  “I’m really looking forward to tonight.”

As we step
through the door of the cabin, we become a tangle of kisses and hands.  His hands roam my body as his lips seek mine.  We move halfway down the hall toward the bedroom when his fingers find the zip to my dress and he peels it from my body.  “So fucking sexy.”  He growls into my mouth as he pushes his tongue past my lips.  He lifts me and I wrap my arms around his neck, my legs go around his waist.  He presses my back to the wall.  I feel his erection straining against my core through his trousers. 

“Dean, please.  I want you.”  That
’s all the encouragement he needs.  He moves me away from the wall and walks us into the bedroom where he drops me on the bed.  Quickly he strips and is over me in the next instant.  He roughly removes my bra and panties while I kick off my heels.  His hands are everywhere and a bit rough. 

“Oh Lauren.  I didn’t think I could want you this much, baby.  I’ll try to go slow though.”  His mouth capture
s my nipple and he grazes it with his teeth.  I moan in pleasure but this still isn’t what my body craving. 

“Please, Dean.  Please, I need you.”  I
’m burning up, sure that if I don’t feel him soon I’ll combust. 

“A little impatient
, are we?”  He smiles and takes my other nipple in his mouth, teasing and torturing me.  Suddenly my pelvis is being lifted and his cock strains at my entrance. 

“Yes, Dean.”  I
whisper breathlessly as he runs the tip of his cock over my clit.  Then he plunges in.  I’m blinded by the pain.  I can’t feel anything else.  He’s thrusting into me like an animal, ignoring my pleas and tears of pain.  I didn’t think it would be like this.  “Dean, please. Dean, stop.”  If he hears me, he does nothing to acknowledge it.  I push up against his chest but he brings his full weight down on me, pinning me underneath him.

“
You feel so fucking good I can’t help myself.  God, this is so good.  Just give it a minute.  You need to get used to me.”  His relentless pace never slackens.  Dean directs some of his attention to my breasts; his fingers digging into my flesh so hard there will be bruises in the shape of his fingertips tomorrow.  His other hand winds into my hair; he grips it in his fist much like he did in the shower and with every thrust he pulls back on it.  My scalp burns in pain and I’m afraid he’ll draw blood.  “Baby, yes.”  Dean groans as he begins to move harder and faster.  He sits back on his knees and lifts my butt, his fingers dig like barbs into each cheek.  Then he’s all out pounding into me.  I feel my thighs slick with blood.  The urge to wretch is overwhelming.  I’ve given this man something that was utterly precious to me and this is how he treats me.  The fiery pain rages inside me and I try again to move to stop him, to plead with him, but he holds me firm, pinned underneath his hips.  “This cunt is so sweet.”  He growls; his hand moves from one breast up to my throat as his other hand winds into my hair again, this time even tighter.  “You are mine, Lauren.  No one else will ever have you.  Don’t even think about giving this to someone else.”  The more I struggle beneath him the harder he presses down on my neck and pulls at my hair. 

With a loud growl,
he plunges in even harder and spills himself inside me.  “You are going to be my wife and no other man will ever have you.  Do you understand me?”  His words are a harsh whisper in my ear.  He kisses my jaw.  “If I’d known you would be this sweet, feel this good there’s no way I could have made myself wait this long.  God Lauren, you feel so good.”  I feel him hardening again inside me.  “I need you again, baby now.”  Hot tears stream down my cheeks and sobs shake my body.  When did I start crying?  Is this how it was supposed to be? He is unconcerned with my pain; in fact it seems to please him.  The more I cry the harder his shaft becomes.

Dean’
s already moving again.  A bit slower this time but this isn’t what I want.  I want him to stop.  I know I willingly gave him my virginity but this, well, this isn’t consensual.  Definitely not how I pictured my first time.  Though I have no experience, I know it shouldn’t be like this, an experience this powerful with someone you love, who loves you in return shouldn’t feel so wrong.  I want nothing more than to break our connection.  I try to move him but he won’t budge.  “Dean, please stop.  Dean?”

“Oh baby, I can’t
; you feel so damn good.  I promise to try to make this time feel good for you too.”  I don’t feel good though; I feel dirty and used.  His lips crush mine but I don’t respond to his kiss.  He begins his attentions to my breasts again in earnest and runs his hands down my body.  There is no pleasure in any of his kisses or touches.  Dean moves in a slow rhythmic motion.  His weight presses me back into the mattress.  I feel cocooned by his body, but oddly the sensation doesn’t provide any comfort from my earlier fear.  I try to wash these thoughts and feeling from my mind.  Maybe he just got carried away before, I try to convince myself.  Dean pumps into me hard a few more times before finding his own release again.  “Damn, baby if it’s always like this with you I’ll never get enough; there’s no way anyone else could feel as good as you.”  I’m so confused by everything that happened tonight.  One moment he was professing his love and proposing; the next…  Well I don’t even know what happened.  He doesn’t even seem to care that he ripped through me like a knife.  Being with him is like riding a roller coaster without a safety belt.

“Darling
, please open your eyes.  Please wake up, please.  It’s killing me to see you like this. Please, darling.”  I faintly hear Gavin pleading with someone but I have no idea what’s going on.  Man, how much did I drink last night?  My head’s throbbing.  I can make out a few other sounds in the room now.  Where the hell am I?  I hear a faint beep and smell the disinfectant.  The bed I’m lying in is really uncomfortable. Why am I not at home?  Did Ian take me somewhere?  Where is Ian?

“Gavin?”  My voice squeaks.  Why does everything hurt so bad
ly? 

“Darling, I’m h
ere.”  I hear the relief in his voice but still have no idea what’s happening. 

“Gavin, what’s going on?”  I try to blink open my eyes but my entire body seems to no longe
r be under my control. 

“
Celeste, I mean, Lauren, darling, you’re in the hospital.  Do you remember what happened?”  I try to focus on his words.  Hospital?  Why?  Fuck, did he just call me Lauren?  I look at Gavin, confused and horrified by what he’d just said. 

“
What did you just call me?”  The anger wells up in me and penetrates my words. 

“Darling,
it’s okay.  I know.  We all know.”  His voice barely above a whisper as he looks across my bed at someone.  Oh, it hurts to turn my head but I have to know who else is there.  Marlene!!  What the hell is going on? 

“
Where’s Ian?  Please, I need Ian.”  Marlene’s face turns ashen and she looks like she is about to cry.  She starts to say something when Gavin cuts her off. 

“Darling, just
try to rest.  We can talk more later.”   His voice cracks with the words.  “I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake.”  I can tell they’re both avoiding the question. I want to protest.  I want to demand that he bring Ian to me immediately but suddenly I feel very heavy like there’s no way to keep my eyes open let alone continue this conversation so I let sleep overtake me.  At least that will provide some relief from the pain, not only the pain in my head; but the pain that has suddenly exploded in my chest like my heart died.

~

I feel a hand smooth over my forehead pushing back some of my hair.  I hear the voice I’ve been missing.  “Sweetheart, why?  Why didn’t you tell me?  I could have…”  The voice trails off.  I feel his lips brush over mine and his fingers slide down my cheeks wiping at the tears.  I want to grab onto him, to tell him I love him, to keep him with me and never let him leave.  He’s my savior in so many ways; he’s my strength and protection.  In that moment, I know he’s gone, watching the scene play out like a movie, helpless to stop it.  All the warmth and light is gone from my life. 

The next thing I hear is Gavin shouting at someone.  “You fucker, you shouldn’t be here.  If there’s anything left when I’m finished wit
h you, you should know that I’ll hand your ass over to the police.  Look what you fucking did.  Never mind, I know you enjoy this sick shit.  I also know that I’m going to thoroughly enjoy kicking your ass back to whatever hole you crawled the hell out of.”  There are noises of a struggle in the room and some other people shouting.  I assume they are security or orderlies as the room goes quiet again but it’s too late.  I’ve already felt the chill of the man that was here with me.  Much like Ian in that respect, there are two men that I’ll always know are in the room before I ever see them; I can feel them.  The difference is one provides complete peace, security, love; the other, fear, hate, loathing, death.

I have no idea how long it been
but when I wake again Gavin is right there.  “Darling, I need you sit up and drink this.  Please.”  I feel the cup come up to my mouth and cool liquid run down my throat.  I had no idea I was so thirsty until he took the cup away.  Greedily, I wrap my hands around it and bring it back to my lips. Once I have finished the glass, I look to Gavin.  His face is pale with what looks like a couple days of stubble.  He hates not being perfectly groomed; what could possibly be so bad as to make him neglect himself?  “Gavin?  Are you alright?”  His face turns sour. 

“Fuck, Lauren
!  Am I fucking alright? Why the hell would you ask me that?  Look at you.  How can you be here and still be worried about me?  Darling, please…”  His words freeze at my expression.  “Shit darling.  I’m sorry.  I’m still just so amped up.  How are you feeling?  Is there anything else I can get you?”

I feel
a rush of fear at his words.  He called me Lauren; I don’t seem as shocked as I thought I would, hearing myself called that name again.  How?  Then my memories come back to me.  Ian standing at the door and behind him, Dean.  It was all I could do to remain upright.  I had no words, couldn’t even scream in fear.  The terror was absolutely overwhelming.  I tried to convince my legs to run but they weren’t listening.  I remember taking a quick look at Ian, silently begging to wake from yet another nightmare, as Dean strode over to me.  I knew this was the end of my happily ever after.  The memories cause my body to wretch.  “Fuck.”  Gavin rushes over as quickly as he can with something for me to vomit into and I feel a hand on the other side of me grip mine.  I look to see Marlene and Claire, their faces pale and full of concern. I didn’t even remember that they were here. My stomach twists and I wretch again. 

He found me and Ian is gone.
  No one has to tell me that Ian is gone.  I know; my heart has known for some time. There will be no healing this time.  I lied the biggest lie of all.  Deceived him so well for so long that there’s no way, we could come back to one another.  The fact that I’m lying here without him is more proof than I can handle and I heave into the basin again.