Authors: Kathryn Shay
Tags: #ptsd, #contemporary romance, #single parent dating, #firefighter romance, #parents and sons, #firemen romance, #war veteran romance
They’d been in bed, and truthfully, he didn’t
mind. He liked being with her. “No, of course not. It’ll be
fun.…”
They proceeded out of the bus at a snail’s
pace. Little kids bumped one another, jumped ahead of adults, and
didn’t really know how to wait their turns. It took a while to get
to the gathering place at the front of the zoo. Once again, Megan
called for their attention. “This is Dr. Wellington. If you feel
sick or fall down, she’s going to patch you up.”
In the bright sunlight, the two women looked
alike in blue camp shirts and denim shorts, both with blond hair
tied back. Lexie was slimmer and taller, but they resembled each
other.
“
Go ahead, now,” Megan told the group.
She cupped her hands around her mouth as they started away. “And
stay with your counselors.”
After much coaxing and some tough love, Beck
had convinced Nick DeBlasio to volunteer with him. Megan had
assigned him to Beck as an assistant, but he’d had doctors’
appointments this morning. Nick would join them at the movies after
lunch, which was probably a better way for him to start off.
Beck walked away, holding the hand of his
camper. “So, Adam, where do you want to go first?”
“
The penguins. Mommy and me watched
Happy Feet
on a tape. I liked the movie.”
“
To the penguins, it is.”
Adam chatted nonstop as they passed the
playground, a couple of food stands and a section with snakes. When
they reached the penguins, Beck boosted Adam up on his shoulders so
the boy could see. “They’re small.”
Suddenly, Beck was catapulted back to Lela,
telling him how Josh had loved the zoo, too. A stab of pain
surprised him as he wondered how Josh was doing.
In the last two weeks, since he’d been
sleeping with Lexie, he’d forced Lela from his mind. The PTSD
meetings were over, so he didn’t have to see her there or make
arrangements about who would attend which session. But at odd
times, someone would say something, or he’d catch a certain scent,
and his mind derailed right to where, deep in his heart, he wanted
it to go.
And he’d seen her a few times. Once at the
Veteran’s Outreach Shelter, where he’d gone to visit Nick. And once
at an ice cream stand. She’d been with her doctor boyfriend.
Christian Singer had been holding Josh’s hand and Beck had steeled
himself at the sight. He’d also had to introduce Lexie to them…
“
Lela, Christian, this is Lexie
Wellington.”
Lexie grinned, not knowing the dynamic
between him and Lela. “Lela and I have met. At a hospital thing.
Nice to see you again.”
Lela croaked out a reply, obviously affected
by the sight of the two of them together. He wondered briefly if
she had told the doctor about him.
Lexie added, “Chris and I know each other
from the hospital. How are you?”
The guy slid his arm around Lela and Beck’s
throat felt like somebody had stuffed a sock into it. “Just great.
You?”
Lexie moved in closer to Beck. “Me, too.”
He’d caught Lela’s gaze and they’d watched
each other for a few moments. Messages had passed between them. The
main one:
We’ve gone on with our lives.
…
“
Can we go to the monkey cage now,
Beck?”
Swinging the boy to the ground, Beck said,
“I’d love to. Do you know that there are 264 species of
monkeys?”
“
I like the spider monkeys the best.
They’re called that because of their long arms and legs and
tails.”
Laughing—this one was going to be hard to
impress—Beck again took his hand. Fuck it, Beck decided in the
beauty of this day, he was going to enjoy himself and not think
about what he couldn’t have.
o0o
Hale’s Haven, located on Hidden Lake, was
absolutely beautiful. In the week Lela had been on the lake campus,
she’d fallen in love with what the organization had done for the
children of slain firefighters, police officers—and those of war
veterans, thanks to Beck. They’d managed to sign up the latter for
all the camps, not just Junior Hale’s Haven, which she had avoided
working at even after the scheduled nurse had broken her leg.
Instead, five days ago, she’d come to help
out here. She’d tried to appreciate the smell of the water, the sun
sparkling like diamonds on its surface, the crisp blue of the sky,
and the chatter of kids at the picnic area behind her. It had been
a wonderful, if exhausting week. Though the counselors took the
brunt of the responsibility for the kids, Lela had managed to
participate in many of the activities, hence the fatigue. A good
kind of fatigue, though. And she only had to get through this last
day; she could sleep for hours as Josh wasn’t coming home until
tomorrow. The Allens, who’d kept him all week, were taking him to
visit Marsha’s sister in Camden Cove today.
But a complication in her well-planned
schedule had occurred. It turned out the little kids from junior
camp were visiting the main camp and were about to arrive at any
time—an event she hadn’t known would happen when she’d signed up.
And Beck would be with them. She could still see him with the
beautiful Lexie, standing close, as lovers do, when the four of
them had met up at a local ice cream stand. Swallowing hard, she
battled back the desolation she experienced whenever she thought
about Beck and Lexie together.
“
Penny for your thoughts.”
She turned to find Christian standing there,
looking young and healthy in the blue camp shirt, his bathing
trunks and flip-flops. His dark blond hair caught the morning sun.
“Hi.”
Leaning over, he kissed her head. “You seem
far away.”
He’d volunteered, too. But got her permission
first…
“
What would you think of me
volunteering at Hale’s Haven the week you do?” he’d
asked.
She’d been caught off guard and blurted out,
“That would be great.”
“
I’d like to be part of the whole
endeavor. Everybody in town is so excited about it. Besides, I want
to be with you.…”
And she wanted to be with him, too, most of
the time. It was only when she saw Beck—or, okay—she thought about
him other times, too, like when she’d first slept with Christian.
She’d gone into the bathroom and cried afterward….
“
Honey, what is it?”
“
Oh, sorry. I…I always feel nostalgic
at endings, I guess. My mother said I used to cry on the way home
from summer camp every year.”
“
I like that about you. As a matter of
fact, I like everything about you.”
He did, and that helped in her split from
Beck.
“
This was fun, wasn’t it? The week
here?”
“
Yeah, I feel like I did something
good.”
“
It’s different from hospital work. I
know we do good there, too, but this is something more.”
He surveyed the pavilion. “I’m glad we
included the kids of veterans.”
“
Me, too.”
She heard behind her, “Okay, everybody. Heads
up.” This from Jenn Malvaso, who appeared happy and healthy, her
face glowing and her dark eyes sparkling. Her husband, Grady, was
here, too, with their kids, and the five of them were staying at
Mitch and Megan’s house. “The little ones have just arrived,” she
said brightly.
She and Christian glanced up the hill to see
fifteen counselors and other administrative personnel reach the
pavilion, the kids seeming shy, the counselors showing the same
signs of exhaustion that Lela felt. Off to the side, she caught
sight of Nick DeBlasio in a wheelchair. She’d been shocked when
he’d told her he’d taken Beck up on his offer to be an assistant
counselor. Shocked and so, so glad. He was going to make it.
She didn’t search for Beck.
“
Okay, everybody.” Jenn spoke into the
megaphone. “Take seats. We’re ready for lunch.” Already the scent
of hamburgers and hot dogs filled the air.
“
Sit with me and my kid, okay?”
Christian asked, leaning into her. He felt solid, safe.
“
Sure.” She watched as the campers
greeted each other, but when they selected a table, a small child
approached the three of them. A small child holding Beck’s
hand.
“
Buddy!!” the kid shouted as he threw
himself at Buddy Sampson, Christian’s camper. “I missed
you.”
Buddy rolled his eyes but hugged the boy.
“
Hi,” Beck said easily. God, he looked
good, with his hair longer, his face tanned. He seemed bigger, more
masculine. Though it couldn’t be possible, she swore she could
smell the spicy aftershave he used. “This guy here is Adam
Sampson.”
Damn it to hell! Christian’s camper and
Beck’s were brothers? Once again, Lela bemoaned how cruel fate
could be.
“
Good to see you Beck,” Christian said.
“Have you had a good week?”
“
The best.” He shrugged. “Except that
I’m whipped.”
Christian grinned. “We are, too.”
We.
Beck’s eyes flared at the
pronoun.
“
I didn’t know our two camps would
coincide,” Lela commented.
Beck sighed as if he meant it. “Me,
either.”
Lela grinned over Beck’s shoulder and smiled
genuinely. “Look who’s here.”
Nick wheeled toward them. When he reached
Lela, she bent down and kissed his cheek. “I’m so glad to see
you.”
He angled his head at Beck. “This guy
badgered me so much, I did it just to shut him up.” He nodded to
Jenn Malvaso off to the side. “She must have talked to the kids
about”—he touched his face—”because they only stared a little.”
Buddy stepped forward. “Does it hurt?” he
asked, pointing to Nick’s face.
“
Only in here.” Nick put his hand over
his heart. Lela’s eyes misted. Then he wrinkled his nose.
“Sometimes it itches.”
Satisfied, Buddy turned to Christian. “Can I
show my tie-dyed T-shirt to Adam?” He motioned to a few yards away,
where the shirts the kids had made this morning hung on a
clothesline to dry.
“
No fair,” Adam whined. “I like
tie-dye.”
“
I made you one, dummy,” Buddy said
with affection.
Christian reached out his hands for both
boys. “I’ll go with you.” To Beck he said, “Take a load off. We’ll
be in watching distance.” Then to Nick, “Want to join us?”
No, please, no
. Lela didn’t want to be
alone with Beck.
But nobody answered her silent plea.
Christian led the boys and Nick away.
And Lela and Beck were by themselves.
“
Just like before,” he said in a hoarse
tone. “We can’t seem to get away from each other.”
“
We’ve done pretty well, don’t you
think?”
His throat worked convulsively. “Too
well.”
“
Beck…”
“
Sorry I said that.” He jammed his
hands into his pockets. Stared over at the lake. “I miss you,
still.”
She caught sight of Lexie Wellington talking
to Jenn. “You’ve gone on with your life, Beck. It’s what we agreed
to.”
He shot a glance toward Christian. “So have
you, Lee.”
Lee
. Images of them in bed when he
called her that bombarded her.…
You feel so good, Lee, when I’m inside
you…Hey, Lee baby, slow down. We have all weekend.
And maybe
the worst, on that tiny side street in New York.
I love you,
Lee…I love you, too
.…
But he was with someone else, sleeping with
someone else, and so was she. It was over between them.
“
I’m sorry,” Beck said, intruding on
the memory. “I can see my comment upset you.”
“
No, Beck. Having to cut off our
relationship upsets me. And it’s a hundred times worse when I see
you.” She shook herself. “Talking about this isn’t helping. How’s
Tommy?”
“
He’s had a pretty good summer. He
appreciates the time he gets to spend with Josh.”
“
So does Josh. They seem good, both
kids.”
“
Well, I wouldn’t know, as I’m not
allowed to see your son.”
Lela stepped back at the harshness of his
tone. Just after she’d decided that they could try letting Beck
take the boys alone, Len had died.
“
Hey there, handsome…oh, Lela.” Lexie
glanced from Lela to Beck. She wore short, shorts, and her camp
T-shirt was cut off at the arms, making her look young. And sexy.
“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting something. You both seem so
somber.”
“
No, not at all. Good to see you,
Lexie.”
Alexis nodded to the line of shirts. “I see
you got your boyfriend to volunteer, too.”
The foam cup Beck was holding crushed in his
hand. Coffee spurted up. Lexie gave him a searching look.
“What…what happened?”
But Lela knew the answer to that question.
Lela knew full well why Beck’s temper had flared. And damn if it
didn’t send a little thrill through her.
o0o
As Adam slept in Beck’s lap on the bus ride
home at the end of the day, Beck cursed the images that flitted
through his mind. He wished he didn’t have this time to think. Nick
had gone home in a van, and so he had no one to talk to. Maybe if
Nick were here, Beck could forget about the sights etched too
clearly in his mind.…
Of Lela and her
boyfriend
climbing the
rock wall. Of Singer boosting her up, his hands on her hips,
flirting with her ass.
Of Lela with Adam when he fell and Lexie was
tending to someone else. Lela had grasped the boy to her chest, let
him cry, then said,
We’ll fix you up good as new, sweetie.
Adam had kissed her face, a face Beck had held, kissed, loved, all
those weeks ago.