It Matters To Me (The Wandering Hearts Book 2) (24 page)

Rounding the open hatch door of the SUV, I can’t help but smile when I catch a glimpse of Aiden inside, fast asleep. Sliding in and securing the rear door to the truck I settle in for the night, a smile permanently plastered on my face.

I
’M ENTRANCED BY THE RISE
and fall of her back as she sleeps. My eyes trace the line that travels down her waist and curves up into her full hip. She’s beautiful. I hold my breath as she shifts and turns over on her other side. She’s still asleep. I exhale, relieved. The tranquility on her face is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. The Amazon River at dawn, the Mamanuca Islands in Fiji at dusk, the coastline of Greece, they all pale in comparison to this creature in front of me.

With the memories of my mother long ago faded, I’m left with only a handful of pictures to remind me of her. She’s only smiling in one, but it’s how I like to remember her. It’s haunting how much Kenzie’s smile reminds me of hers. I can’t help wondering if it’s real, or simply the way the image captured Mom that day.

I lean back and close my eyes, but my heart starts to race. Kenzie reminding me of my mother isn’t what scares me. I’m terrified hiding deep in the recesses of my psyche there’s a monster lurking. I am my father’s son after all. Could I be like him? I’ve never been a good partner to anyone. Love has never made sense. I’ve seen the way it can twist and pervert people. I avoid looking in the mirror most days, but that doesn’t change the fact I see parts of him reflecting back at me when I do manage to catch a glimpse. Did he give me more than my strong jaw and nose shape? I have my mother’s eyes. At least there’s that. Is that all I have of her, though?

Kenzie’s socks rarely match, but I don’t think she even notices. I’ve only known her for a short time, but I can already finish her thoughts. And just when I think I’ve figured her out, she will say something so completely off the wall I know it will never matter how well I know her, she will always keep me guessing.

I see her everywhere, even when I close my eyes. It makes no sense how she can affect me so deeply in such a short amount of time. I’m not the kind of man that gets twisted up by a woman, but here I am, looking at a creature that I’m pretty certain I would do anything she asked. The more I push her away, the more she has me in the palm of her hands.

She has the ability that no matter who is in the room with us, my attention always returns and settles on her. The things she says are always the most interesting to me. Her smile, the brightest. She’s confident but doesn’t seem to fully understand just how beautiful she is. I never imagined anything could feel as right as my life does when she’s with me.

My chest aches as I think about the scary truth that could exist and I’m too afraid to ask.
What if she doesn’t feel the same way? Wouldn’t working alongside her be better than losing her altogether?
She’s coming off the biggest relationship of her life, the last thing she’s thinking about is who is going to be the next man to warm her bed.

My heart bounds as she opens her eyes, peering at me as I loom above her.
Move away.
I think to myself. My body doesn’t respond to the command. Last night was perfect. I gave her an evening of perfect fun. I don’t want to ruin it now. Panic floods over me in an uncertain wave.

I swallow hard, wishing she would say something.

“Morning,” she moans.

I smile at her. There’s less than a foot between us and I wonder if I’m the only one who notices. She shifts up onto one of her hips, propping up on an elbow, and resting her head on an open palm. We’re even closer now. My flesh is on fire, but I try not to let it show.

“Good morning,” I reply with a casual sigh. I waited too long to reply to her, I think. She’s going to think that’s weird. Her brow furrows. Damn it, she noticed.

“You must have been tired last night,” she says, with a tender smile. God, what was I thinking? How could I ever have thought I could keep this relationship strictly business? She’s breathtaking.

I nod, shifting my hips in hopes she can’t see the morning wood that has seemed to linger a little too long with her next to me. “Yeah, I’ve always been that way. Once I’m ready to crash, I’m pretty much out. Did you have trouble falling asleep?”

She lifts her eyebrows as though she’s surprised. “Actually, no. It didn’t take me long at all, which is amazing because I tend to toss and turn.”

“Maybe it’s because I was next to you,” I joke and then wish more than anything that I could take it back, certain I sounded like a fool.

She tilts her head. She’s still smiling, that’s a good sign. She falls back onto her back, folding her hands over her stomach.

“Maybe,” she says at last. “This place is pretty magical, isn’t it?”

I wasn’t sure she would enjoy night photographing at the reserve, but after seeing her last night, leaping around, excited as a child on Christmas morning, I was certain I hadn’t misjudged her. “Yeah, it is pretty amazing. Every time I come here it’s even harder to go back to my life,” I answer.

She’s looking at me. I have never felt mightier than I do when her eyes are locked on me. I think I see something there. A glimmer, a spark that is saying she feels the same as I do. But what if I’m wrong? The fear is still looming.

I lean in closer; I’m nearly hovering above her. She doesn’t speak. Damn it, I wish she would say something. I wish I could think of something to say. Why did I lean in? This is so awkward. I should say something. Her eyes are still fixed on me. In an instant, she removes all question, all doubt, when her back arches and she lifts herself until her lips meet mine.

Without breaking our kiss, and before she changes her mind, my hand slides around and beneath her to offer her frame additional support. Shifting, I move in, she wraps her outside leg around my waist, using her calf to pull me closer into her body. Adrenaline is pumping through my veins, and I have to remind myself to breathe.

There’s no longer any mistaking her intentions. It’s clear by the way she kisses me that she wants this as much as I do. I don’t waste another second, pulling up on her t-shirt, huffing in frustration when I realize it’s wedged between us. In a flustered groan, she pushes me up enough to prop herself up and tear away the shirt. When I see her tugging at the button of her pants, I don’t hesitate to join her in her undressed state.

The moments move quickly. I worry if either of us stop long enough to actually think about what we’re doing, we may stop ourselves.

It takes only seconds before her legs are bent and wrapped around me. Our lips press against one another again, and it’s as if we’ve been in the desert for a thousand years and only the other’s lips can quench this thirst. Peering down into her oversized, almond-shaped eyes, I’m lost for a moment. Is this only momentary lust or does she feel the same connection I do? I have a thousand questions I dare not ask for fear of what the answer may be.

She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, nibbling on it. She’s driving me crazy. I can’t stop think about being inside her, even though there is a second voice in my head warning me not to.

You’re her boss.
One last haunting thought of wisdom invades my mind, but her full breast spilling out the top of her bra cup quickly shuts that notion down. We’re two grown, consenting adults. This has been building since the night we met,
hasn’t it?

I feel like I might explode before I even find my way inside her, my boxer briefs now pulling uncomfortably tight against my bulge.
Sad Puppies. Baseball. Four Bean Chili. Cleaning a toilet.
I run through the most unsexy thoughts in my mind that I can imagine.

“Are you okay?” she breathily asks me.

“Sorry,” I grin, realizing I’ve been hovering over her silently, with my eyes closed for several seconds. “I just need to slow down for a second.”

“Oh—” She sounds shocked, and I think perhaps she has misunderstood.

“No, no.” I quickly correct. “Not as in we’re moving too fast—I mean well we are moving too fast, but more as in I am REALLY turned on right now.” She looks back at me with a blank and confused stare. “As in, I don’t want this to be over too quickly.”

“Ahh—” She nods, a huge grin tearing across her face.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying my struggle so much,” I huff.

Her hand runs up my side, her fingertips tracing my tensed muscles. She shrugs. “It just means you think I’m sexy.”

“Oh, you’re definitely sexy,” I confirm enthusiastically.

Her fingertips move to my stomach and then up my chest. Then they find themselves entwined around my neck.

“I want you,” she whispers, and my lips are on her before she can say another word. I feel her tugging at her panties beneath me, and I am more than happy to assist her.

Is this happening? It must be a dream,
I think, doubting someone so perfect could want me in return.

Images of the night before flash into my mind. I worried Kenzie would not get many glimpses of the nocturnal animals and the evening would be a complete disappointment for her. Much to our pleasant surprise, the wild came alive the moment we stepped out of the SUV. It seems insane, but I can’t help feeling like the animals were putting on a show for her, sensing just how special she is.

I brought wine. We drank it. We laughed. She moved in close to me, and I gave her an award-winning sideways hug before telling her we should get some sleep and head out in the morning. Now, seeing the desire in her eyes, I realize she was feeling the same as me, and not simply because of the excitement.

She lifts a finger, instructing me silently to wait on my knees. I have to keep my head bent, as there is not enough room in the SUV for me to fully upright myself. Rocking to one side, she unclasps her bra and reveals the most beautiful and natural set of breasts. Her skin is as pale as milk and the flesh just around her nipple is soft pink. She’s perfect, I think. Dear God, she is absolutely perfect. My eyes shift down to the well-groomed V between her legs.

The space is cramped, but no amount of discomfort could make me want to be anywhere else. I don’t wait for her permission, diving in between her legs face first. She’s unlike any woman I’ve met. There are no childlike games. No insecurities about her body. I lean in, my tongue running along her silky skin until I taste her. All of her. She’s not afraid to let me explore her. She’s welcoming it, in fact.

I flick my tongue wildly, seeking out the fleshy spot that causes her to arch her back. I can see all her muscles tense, then release. She moans in appreciation, and I can’t help smiling at the achievement. Making her happy makes me happy.

I never thought of my name as anything special until I hear it roll off her tongue in ecstasy, “Aiden.” She breathes it again and again.

I’m eager for another round between her legs, but she quickly shows me she has something else in mind as she pushes at the waist of my boxers with her toes. I would do anything to her she asked of me right now and from the way she’s looking at me, she knows it. Shimmying out of the restrictive underwear, I catch the longing look in her eyes as she sees what I have waiting for her.

Hastily my lips find hers again. There’s no worry of where my mouth has just been. She has no reservations. She’s the woman I never even knew to fantasize about because I didn’t know they existed. She captured my attention with her mind, my heart with her genuineness, but she’s captured my body with her relentlessly seductive curves, screaming out to be caressed and ravaged.

She pushes me upright, placing a hand squarely on my chest. “Condom?”

“Oh hell,” I groan flopping off of her and onto my side in disappointment.

Her eyes close and she’s breathing heavily. She giggles, “That might have been something to think of ahead of time.”

“I wasn’t exactly planning to get you in the sack.”

She laughs uncontrollably.

“What?” I ask defensively.

“I just think it’s cute the way you say get you in the sack.” She can’t seem to stop herself from snickering again. Tapping me on my chest, she instructs, “roll over.”

I do as I’m told, laying on my back. She snuggles her now naked body into the crook of my arm where my shoulder meets my body. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want to be buried in her right now, but at the same time, I don’t want to be the tool who begs for sex despite being ill-prepared.