It's All Relative (39 page)

Kai closed his eyes, and his jaw tightened, like he was upset. Jessie could understand if he was. This weekend had been going to be hard enough on them without her friends dumping this surprise in their laps, but her friends didn’t know what they were really doing. April was asking for space, and Harmony thought Jessie should give it to her. If either one of them knew the truth, they wouldn’t have done this; they weren’t cruel.

When Kai reopened his eyes, he nodded. “Of course. I said I’d be here if you needed me. I’m not going to turn you away. We’ll just keep our distance.” He gave her a tentative smile. “We can do this…right?”

Jessie smiled tentatively too. A large flake fell on Kai’s cheek and she had to physically restrain herself from brushing it away. Sure, they could do this.

F
our weeks. Kai had made it almost four achingly long weeks without caving, without calling his cousin, or showing up at her work, or dropping by her home in the middle of the night. And that had been difficult. That had taken every ounce of will power he possessed. He’d practically had to mentally abuse himself every day, just so he wouldn’t give in to the overwhelming need to see her, to hold her, to touch her. To watch her smile, to hear her laugh. To wrap a long tendril of her hair around his finger. It had been the most difficult three weeks of his life.

Even his coworkers had noticed his mood. Missy had tried, in her own way, to cheer him up. Mainly she’d flashed him. A lot. At this point though, it did make Kai smile. Shaking his head, he’d repeatedly told her, “Thank you, but no thank you.” He was pretty sure his continued rejections were doing nothing to dissuade Missy. She was anything but a quitter.

Louis had told Kai that he’d find another potential breeding partner. He was convinced that Kai’s quietness had more to do with being dumped by April than anything else. Kai often told him that breaking things off had been a mutual decision. He hadn’t been dumped, and he definitely wasn’t looking for a “breeding partner.” Louis refused to believe him though. Rejecting a beautiful woman went against the laws of nature in Louis’s book.

But April wasn’t the one holding Kai’s heart, and he’d had no problems letting her go. Letting Jessie go though…that tore him apart daily. Even Mason had commented on his attitude. Kai always tried to be as professional as possible with his boss, but he’d been staring off into space more and more frequently, and one afternoon, Mason called him on it.

“Are you happy here at the center, Kai?” The look in Mason’s eyes after he’d asked had been almost hopeful, like Kai would have made his day if he’d said no and turned in his notice.

Struggling against the feeling of not being wanted, Kai had raised his chin and calmly replied with, “Yes, very much so, Mason. I’m sorry if I’ve been distracted lately. It’s a…personal matter, but I’ll do better to not let it interfere with my work.”

A stillness had filled the air, like a moment of calm before a storm. Mason had seemed as if he’d wanted to know more, but then he’d briefly nodded and quickly walked away. Even after all the weeks, Kai had been working there, he had no idea if the man liked him or not.

Kai had been getting through his life since he’d parted ways with Jessie, but in a numb daze that really wasn’t living. Jessie’s words in her bedroom seared through his soul whenever he had a moment to himself:
You should be with me. You’re supposed to be with me.
If Jessie only knew how much he wanted those words to be true. Things would be so easy, if he could just be with her.

But instead he was maintaining his distance—safety through solitude. Then his grandmother had suddenly decided that he needed to go out and have a life experience. She’d told him that he’d always wanted to ski, and he would never get another opportunity to learn how, unless he took this weekend to go up with Jessie. By the way she’d put it, you would think all of the snow was suddenly going to evaporate, and if he didn’t jump on the chance now, he was going to miss out on it forever. He had no idea what his grandmother’s real motives were behind him going, but she wouldn’t let up on him until he’d agreed.

And that was how Kai had found himself traveling miles away from the seclusion of his studio apartment, in painful proximity to the woman he loved. The woman he couldn’t have. The woman who distracted his thoughts every waking moment and haunted his dreams every night.

After a few tension-filled hours in the car with Jessie, he’d tried to distract himself by taking in the wondrous setting around him, but even that had paled in comparison to being near her again. Then they’d arrived, and fate had seemingly interceded again, and Jessie had said the words he’d ached to hear, words he was scared to hear. She needed him. He had no choice but to say yes to helping her, not just because he loved her, but because she was family, and family did hard things for each other.

Walking into the spacious entryway of the ski lodge, Kai tried to keep that in mind. He and Jessie were family, and they could share a room without anything happening. Just because he could barely look at her smoky, passionate eyes or curly, wild hair without feeling a tinge of arousal, didn’t mean he had to act on it. Kai was an adult, not a hormone crazed teenager. He had complete control of his body, and they could spend the night talking until they fell asleep—him on the floor, her safely on the bed.

Kai took in the space around him as he walked up to the front desk. The hotel was designed to resemble a classic log cabin with large wooden timbers visible under the roof, and a few supporting logs spaced around the open area of the lobby. A large circular fireplace with a cylindrical flue was in the middle of the common room, with chairs and tables spaced around it. It seemed like a very comfortable place to take a break from the chill outside. Several guests were lounging there with warm drinks in their hands while their skis rested on support brackets built along the wooden walls. Hallways branched off from either end of the common room with wide staircases that led to the upper floors. The entire place oozed warmth and comfort.

Smiling at the peaceful setting, Kai gave the elegant woman running the front desk his name. Yes, he and Jessie could be adults about all this. There was no need to stress about something as small and insignificant as sharing a room. And just the thought of spending some quality time with her made him happier than he cared to admit. He’d missed her so much, and now, at the very least, he’d get a chance to talk with his friend again. He’d meant it when he’d called her his best friend. She was. There was no one else he’d rather hang out with. Then again, he’d also meant it when he said he loved her. He did. Deeply.

While the woman checked him into the computer, Jessie walked up to stand beside him. Her beautiful, deep brown eyes swept over the warm, comfortable lobby, and she continually shifted her weight. Kai thought she was probably nervous about their upcoming arrangements. He wanted to assure her that everything was going to be fine, and nothing was going to happen, but he couldn’t say that with Harmony and April standing right behind them.

Kai watched as a melted snowflake dropped off a tendril of her hair close to her face, and landed on her fluffy jacket, right over her breast. The water flowed down the quilted design, right over her nipple. A surge of desire slammed into him, and Kai had to look away. What was he saying about being an adult? Right. Well, he’d work on it. And it would be nice if the universe would stop teasing him with erotic raindrops.

The woman at the front desk gave him two room cards and wished him a pleasant stay. Kai thanked her and stepped aside so Harmony and April could check in. Jessie leaned on her skis, her bags in her other hand. Kai held his palm out and she looked up at him. “Let me take your bags,” he casually said.

Jessie hesitated a moment, her eyes flicking over his damp hair, then she nodded and handed him one of the bags; her backpack she slung over her shoulder. Wanting to reaffirm to her that this would be fine, Kai gave her a friendly smile. She gave him a cautious smile in return, and Kai found himself staring a little too long into the depths of her eyes. Before he knew it, Harmony was dropping her bags right in front of him, making him jump; he hadn’t realized they had finished checking in.

Harmony smiled as she inhaled a deep breath. “It smells like Christmas in here.”

Kai had to agree with her. It did. The lodge had a real Christmas tree across from the front desk and the smell of pine was nearly overwhelming. It was comforting though. Tiny sparkling lights were strung along the eaves and around the tree, and Kai could just make out the scent of spiced cider coming from somewhere. It was magical and beautiful, and Kai couldn’t wait to spend Christmas here in Colorado. He’d never had a white one before.

Jessie sighed, but she wasn’t taking in the decorations, she was staring at April. “April, do you want to sit down and talk? Clear the air? I never meant to—”

April’s eyes turned as icy as the weather. “Hurt me? Well, you did. And no, I don’t want to talk anymore about it this weekend. I just want to ski and drink. Possibly at the same time.” She picked up her bags, hefted her skis onto her shoulder, and started walking toward one of the hallways.

Harmony looked torn as she watched her leave. She gave Jessie a sympathetic smile, then said, “I’ll talk to her. See you on the slopes in a bit?”

Lips compressed, Jessie gave her friend a stiff nod. Frustration began bubbling inside Kai. This was his fault, and Jessie was the one being punished. He should try talking to April again, make her understand. He wasn’t sure how he could make her see without letting her in on the truth, but he had to try. He hated seeing her angry at Jessie.

Not sure what he was going to do, he took a step to follow April and Harmony. Jessie grabbed his arm. “Don’t. Just let Harm handle it. It’s okay…truly.” She gave him a sad smile, and he wondered if he should really do what she was asking.

Deciding to trust her judgment, he playfully bumped her shoulder. “Want to go check out our room?”

Jessie nodded, and he started leading her in the opposite direction of Harmony and April. His room was the last one on the first floor. They walked in and Kai let out a long whistle. There was an actual fireplace in the room, along with a jetted tub in the corner. The space was decorated as cozily as the rest of the lodge, with large wooden beams along the walls, smaller versions along the ceiling. There were photos of the Rockies along the walls, along with a set of antique skis and poles.

The trip had been sprung on Kai at the last minute, and this room had been the only one available. It was costing him a pretty penny, but Kai was making a decent income now, working for Mason, and he lived pretty simply. He’d had the extra cash and had decided that in a way, Gran was right. Life
was
short, and he’d always wanted to learn how to ski. What better time to start than right now?

Kai set their bags on the king-sized bed as Jessie secured her skis on a rack near the door. Kai didn’t have skis; he’d have to rent some before they joined up with April and Harmony. Coming up behind him, Jessie placed her backpack on the bed. “Wow, Kai, this is nice.” She glanced over at the adjoining bathroom and then to a table under the window surrounded by plush chairs.

Then her eyes focused on something that Kai had just noticed. There was a rug on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was white, fluffy, and looked like it could have belonged to an animal at some point, although, Kai was fairly certain the lodge had gone with synthetic fur over the real stuff. It screamed—
have sex here
. They both looked away from the rug at the exact same time.

A few hours later, Kai was sharing a hearty laugh with his cousin, and any earlier tension between them was forgotten. While April and Harmony had left to take turns on the more advanced slopes, Jessie had stayed on the “kiddy” slopes with Kai. She was teaching him the basics of skiing, which basically meant she was laughing her ass off.

When he fell for the umpteenth time, landing on his ass that was starting to feel numb, she giggled. She swooped in to help him up, like gliding across the snow was easy. Kai frowned at her, and at the eight year olds who were whizzing past as effortlessly as if they were walking. Nothing like being surpassed by people a fraction of your age.

Sighing as he took Jessie’s hand, he let her pull him upright. She continued to laugh as she brushed the snow off his back. Shaking his head at her joy, he adjusted his poles and experimentally slid his feet back and forth. Kai had been so certain he would pick up skiing easily; he’d thought it would be similar to surfing. He was wrong. But still, he was determined to make it down an adult slope this weekend, and that would be easier to do if his cousin didn’t find the whole thing so amusing.

Smirking at her, he said, “You just wait until I get you in the ocean. Then I’ll be the one laughing my ass off.” Grinning at her, he adjusted his goggles.

Jessie gave him a sweet smile, then chucked a fistful of snow at him. She hit him squarely in the face with the loosely packed ball and it exploded into a fluffy white cloud that coated him like baking flour. She bent over in hysterics, then expertly darted away, sliding along the banks fluidly as if she were a bird gliding among the clouds.