Jordan (Season Two: The Ninth Inning #5) (14 page)

Felix, Roman, Tanner, Trent, Colby, and I are hanging out in the hotel bar, which is surprisingly busy. There are only three people on staff from the looks of it and the place is packed. There seems to be more women than men, and I wonder if there’s some sort of convention going on or something.

Tanner’s eyes haven’t stopped scanning the room. Colby mentioned the other day how Tanner has started taking advantage when women come up to him. He’s young, and I can’t say I blame him.

“I think we need to set Jordan up with someone tonight,” he suddenly says.

“What? I—” I stop before I can say
I’m married.

“You’re practically single, right?” he asks, turning his attention on me.

“I...I guess.”

“It could be good for you,” Colby adds.

Seriously? When did I turn into the guy who needs to be set up? I thought that was Colby’s title.

“There are plenty of options,” Felix points out.

“Like her,” Tanner slightly nods his head at a girl who is walking our way.

The brunette is tall, busty, leggy, and I can’t deny that she’s not lacking one bit in the looks department. She’s smokin’ hot.

But she isn’t Heidi.

Tanner grins at her, and I think we’re all expecting her to go to him. He and I are both sitting on the outer edge of the circular booth. We’ve seen it happen plenty of times.

Except this time, she stops to stand next to me. The woman rests her hand on my arm and flashes a smile that could make almost any man drop to his knees and beg for a night with her.

“So, are you guys planning to stare at me all night without talking to me? I’m sure your mothers raised you better.”

“Of course she did,” Tanner answers, trying to get her attention. “I’m Tanner. What’s your name?”

“Too old for you. I’m not sure if you’re even of legal age.”

We laugh while Tanner starts sulking, shaking his head.

“So,” she looks to me. “Are you the leader of pack?”

“No. What makes you think I am?”

“Because it’s only you and the kid staring at me. In my world, that means you’re single and the alpha of the group since these pups look like they’re whipped or married. The kid is too young for me, so what do you say to buying me a drink?”

“Yeah, sure.” I stand and walk with her to the bar, sending an uncertain glance to the guys. Half of them are grinning and the other half looks as uncertain as I am. When we reach the bar, I order us both a drink.

“I’m Rosie. And you would be?”

“Jordan. What brings you here?” I ask.

“I’m here on business. I leave the day after tomorrow. What about you? Do you venture to hotel bars and stare at women often?”

I chuckle. “Not often, no. I guess you can say I’m here on business since my job brought me here.”

“What do you do? I’m a computer programmer and before you say anything, not all programmers live in their mother’s basement and worship Star Trek.”

I smile and answer, “I’m a baseball player. Are you a fan?”

“A fan of sports? God, no,” she says as if that’s the most disgusting idea she’s ever heard. “I don’t understand any of it and it’s all so boring. I mean, some of that shit puts me right to sleep.”

“Oh, okay.” She could’ve just said she wasn’t a fan and left it at that.

“So, do you have like a million endorsements and enjoy women fawning over you?”

“I don’t have a million of endorsements, and only sometimes do women fawn over me.” I grin. “They usually go for the kid though.”

“I’m sure because he is totally easy to snatch up. But I prefer men who last longer than two minutes in bed and knows how to treat a women,” she says in a low, sultry tone.

“And you figured I’m one of those men just because I was looking at you?”

“Nope, but I’m willing to see how you do.” She gives me a sly smile.

“I would exceed expectations. I’m an all-nighter kind of guy.” God, why would I say that? Would I allow this to go that far?

“Color me impressed. So, tell me, Jordan, what exactly should I be expecting this evening? I’ll tell you upfront, I’m not shy in bed at all. I even like to take control at times, if you catch my drift.”

“Somehow, I can easily believe that about you. You seem to be a bit on the wild side.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet. However, I don’t think you’re the type to rush up to my room this instant. Why don’t we finish our drinks and chat? Where’s your baseball team from?”

“Memphis, for the Angels. Where are you from?”

“Washington. Near Seattle. How long have you been playing professionally? I mean, you are a professional, right? This isn’t one of those company tournaments? I worked at a place one time that did that dumb shit. It was just middle-aged men thinking their shit didn’t stink.” She rolls her eyes.

“I’ve been pro for five years.”

“That’s all? I thought sports started you out young?”

“They can, but I didn’t immediately start that way. I played in some of the minor leagues first before I was able to make it as a pro.”

“I had to start out at the bottom too. I bet you didn’t have to suck as much dick as I did to get where I am now.”

I start at her for a moment, completely stunned. “Uh, no. I just worked hard for it.”

She laughs and seriously says, “Me too. Me too.” She downs her drink and slams the glass onto the bar. “So, you ready to go to my room? I have plenty of condoms there, so we don’t have to stop at your room and waste time.”

Damn, this woman is forward. I clear my throat and hope I can easily walk away from her. “I should actually get back to my friends, Rosie.”

“Can’t back up what you dished out, huh?” She shrugs. “No biggie. Good luck with your baseball stuff.” She pats my cheek and then walks away, finding another man to talk to.

After a deep breath, I walk back to the table.

“What happened?” Roman asks.

“Not my type,” I answer simply. “I’m heading back to the room.”

After paying my tab, I go up to the room. It’s been such a long day and I’m tired. It’s one of those types of tired that would ordinarily make me wish I were at home with a family I no longer have. It’s a type of exhaustion that makes my brain picture the
what could have been’s
when I lie down to go to bed.

Eden could be alive. Heidi would be so happy and Eden would probably have a little brother or sister by now. I wonder if Heidi would have her salon if Eden were here, or if she would’ve wanted to stay at home with her. The pain is overwhelming because I can so easily imagine watching my wife with my daughter, playing, having fun, and teaching her about baseball. I’ve tried to imagine what her personality would be like, and I just see a mini Heidi.

A child is supposed to change your life, bless it with so much joy, and more than anything, I wish we could’ve had that. I wish I could’ve taught Eden her first word. I wish I could’ve watched her grow. Hell, I wish I could hear her cry and throw a tantrum. The list goes on and on and soon, I’m heaving the covers to the side to get up. I grab the pen and paper on the desk and decide to get the thoughts out of my head.

To my sweet, little girl,

I miss you. I spent every second since we found out we were having you, waiting to meet you and hold you. I only had a small amount of time with you and I still miss you so much. Your mom and I were so excited to start our family. We had great plans for you. Well, really, only a few. We planned to love you, encourage you, watch you grow, and turn you into the biggest baseball fan around. We planned to make you happy.

I used to make bets with your mom. We’d try to bet on whom you would favor more, her or me. I’d tell her that I would be the one to get you to say your first word. She’d say she would be the one to get you to take your first steps. I’d bet that you’d like me more. (She really didn’t like that one, but it was fun to get her riled up.) All we really wanted though was to be your parents and to hopefully do a good job.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get to do those things. But sometimes I picture what life would have been with you here and compare it to how life is now. Life would’ve been amazing with you, Eden. Every single second of it. I hate that we’re all missing out on that life. The day we met and lost you was somehow the best and worst day of my life.

Honestly, I wish I could give you good news on our lives now. I wish I could tell you that we’re handling your loss better. I wish I could tell you that your mom and I are sticking together and that we’ve seen more of the good in life like we used to.

Life doesn’t always work the way we want.

If it did, I’d still have you and your mom with me. I’m thankful for the time I did have though. And at the end of the day, I don’t blame your mom for pulling away from me. The pain of losing you...it was a massive, gut wrenching, bone crushing kind of pain, and it was twice as bad for your mom. She hasn’t even begun to heal and I wish I could help her, do more for her, but I think I make it worse for her.

If I could have one request, my precious Eden, it’s that you continue being our little guardian angel. Soon, I probably won’t be able to look after your mom, so it makes me feel a little better to know she’ll have you watching. I’ve tried to fight for all of us, and I won’t stop until I have no other choice. I’m sorry I couldn’t make things better.

I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I failed your mom. I’m so sorry, Eden, and I hope you can forgive me for failing our family.

With all my love,

Dad

I WATCH EVERYONE walking up and down the halls and listen to the clicking of the employees on the keyboards. I’m waiting for Mr. Love, my divorce attorney, to call me back to his office. I need to make sure the divorce papers will be done soon. I need to cut my ties faster with Jordan so I can move on. Or, whatever it is I have planned.

After several more minutes, his secretary tells me I can go into the office. Mr. Love is a much older man with a big ol’ belly and stark white hair. In some ways, he reminds me of Harry Caray.

“Mrs. Johnson, please have a seat.” He points in front of his desk where there are a couple empty chairs. “Now, what can I help you with?”

“I want to see if we can speed things along,” I say anxiously.

“Well,” he sighs. “It actually might be longer.”

“Longer? What? I thought it was almost over.”

“It is. I think in about four more weeks, you’ll have the papers in your hands.”

“Another month?” I don’t think my heart can take it. “Why?”

“Oh, you know, this and that needs to be complete before we draw up the papers.”

This and that? What the hell?
“Are you sure it’ll be done in a month?”

He nods. “Yep. And the bright side, it
might
be sooner.” He smiles, but I don’t care. I want this over.

I just nod and leave his office. I need to get back to the salon soon because I have a full afternoon booked. Kassy opened the salon up this morning since I wanted to come here. And then there is one more stop.

Today, the Angels have an open practice.

While I want to be as far away as I can be from Jordan, I miss baseball and the Angels are blowing up right now. Even Jordan is at the top of his game. He’s in the top five of RBIs and home runs. He’s been working so hard this past year, and it’s starting to pay off.

I hand my ticket to the young girl and make my way into the stadium. There are a lot of people here and I’m thankful for it because I don’t want Jordan to see me. I brought an Angels’ hat and keep my large, black sunglasses on. There’s no way he can recognize me.

I take a seat near the middle. Since it’s a practice, there isn’t any assigned seating. Almost everyone rushes to the lower level and near the dugout. A short while later, the Angels come running out onto the field. I find Jordan’s number fourteen quickly. He’s tossing a ball to Colby. I watch as they throw to each other. They are talking and I see Jordan throw his head back in a full laugh. A smile spreads on my face and I remember when we would lie in bed and he would laugh like that.

There are so many memories of us in bed, just talking and being in each other’s arms. I was never safer than in his arms. I’m never safer than in his arms. I could conquer the world with him by my side. Now, it’s different. I opened a business on my own. Even when I did, I wanted to call and tell Jordan. I’ve never stopped loving him.

But I can’t be with him. It’s best that I’m not with him.

I watch the team run through drills and then some take breaks to sign autographs for people hanging over the rail to reach them. Jordan is one of them. He’s always stopped for any and every fan. He’s always the sweetest to them.

When he finishes up, he jogs back to the dugout to join the team. My favorite part is coming up. It’s home run time. Well, that’s what I call it. Each player comes up to the plate and tries for a home run. If they succeed, then they continue into the next round until there’s only one. Jordan loves it too.

“First up to bat, Colby ‘Sugar Daddy’ Wilson.” The whole crowd, including me, bursts into laughter. Colby turns and points his bat to the dugout and mouths, ‘You’re dead’ to whoever is working the mic.