Jordan (Season Two: The Ninth Inning #5) (20 page)

“Yeah?” I grumble.

There’s a small pause and then, “Were you sleeping?”

I immediately sit up. “Heidi? Are you okay?” I glance at my clock; she should be at work. God, her voice sounds so good.

“I’m fine. Well, actually,” her voice trails off and my body goes rigid.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing bad,” she reassures me. “I have a flat and—”

“I always told you to call me to change it,” I finish for her.

“I can call someone though, if you don’t want to come or if you rather sleep some more.”

“No, I’ll come. Where are you? You have a spare and a jack, right?”

“Spare, but no jack.”

I laugh. “Okay, there’s one in mine.” I get out of bed, put it on speaker, and start to change while I talk to her. “I’ll let you use my car while I’ll get your tire taken care of, so you don’t get a rental again and you can go on to work. Give me two minutes to finish getting ready and I’ll be on my way.”

“Okay.” She tells me where she is. There’s a brief moment of silence. “Thanks, Jordan.”

“Any time,” I answer honestly.

We hang up and I quickly brush my teeth, slip on my shoes, and grab my things to go help her. I’m easily able to find her. She’s pacing next to her car on the side furthest away from the road. Is she nervous about seeing me? Does she regret calling me?

“There’s a nail in it,” she says when I get close enough. “I must have run it over yesterday; there were some pieces of plywood in the road and I didn’t see them in time to avoid them. I found it while I was waiting.”

“Okay. I’ll get it fixed. Do you want to go ahead and leave for work? I can handle changing it and everything.”

Heidi hesitates. I pop her trunk and lift the cover for her spare to give her time to think. She wants to leave; I can practically feel the urge coming off her in waves.

“I’ll wait until you’re done,” she finally says. “You may need help.”

I half smile to myself. We both know I won’t need help. While I start changing the tire, I decide to make conversation. “Did you get a massage yet?

“Yes, thank you. I felt so much better afterward.”

“Good.”

“So, I met Sofia. She’s nice.”

My hands freeze as I glance up at her. “What? How?”

“She came in for an appointment.”

Shit. I told her where Heidi worked. What was Sofia doing visiting my wife? “Sorry, Heidi. I swear, I didn’t ask her to go see you or anything. I saw her for my shoulder and she asked about my wife. I told her where you worked and described you. I didn’t know—”

“Jordan, it’s fine.” She sounds like she means it, so I keep working. “I figured you knew already actually.” I shake my head. But then, with my mood, I doubt Blake would have mentioned what his girlfriend did, and I’m sure he knows. “How did you describe me?” Heidi asks quietly, trying not to sound curious.

For a moment, I recall that memory. Then, I replay the words for her, “Stubborn, hard-headed, strong, caring, amazing.”

Heidi doesn’t say anything, and I don’t offer to speak again until her spare tire is on. I toss the flat one into the back and face her. We wordlessly exchange keys.

“Do I need to follow you to the repair shop? How are you going to get home? What are you going to drive? Don’t you have to be at practice soon?”

I shake my head to answer them all. “We have the day off. It won’t take long for them to fix it, so I’ll wait. Once it’s done, I’ll drop it off with you.” Swallowing hard, I add, “If you want, you can leave the keys where the gas cap is, so I don’t have to bother you at work, and I can leave your keys with your receptionist.”

“Okay, that sounds good.”

We stand there for a moment. She seems like she wants to say something, or do something. Suddenly, she throws her arms around my neck. “Thank you,” she whispers, oddly sounding emotional.

“It’s no big deal, Heidi.” It really isn’t.

She pulls away with a shy smile, and then I have to fuck things up by blurting out a simple, yet loaded down question.

“Can we have another night of normalcy?”

I’M SITTING IN the hairdressing chair, just swinging side-to-side. When Jordan asked for a night of normalcy three days ago, I only shook my head and ran away. The problem is, I don’t know why I did it. I’m guessing I’m so used to saying no, I’ve become Pavlov’s dog.

The salon is about to open and I’m only half listening to what the girls are saying. I have a doctor’s appointment in a little bit because I’m still very fatigued. I’ve come to realize it’s because I’m working too hard. I did enjoy the massage from Jordan. It’s been a very, very long time since I felt that relaxed. It is why I have today off. I told Skye I would open and close only because I want to do the nightly paperwork.

I smile at the girls as I leave and head off to my doctor. I’m hoping she’ll be able to give me something to kick this nausea away.

I sit patiently in the waiting room and look around at everyone. The place seems to be packed today. I watch a set of toddlers, around Eden’s age, playing and laughing and for the first time, there isn’t any pain in my heart from watching them.

“Mrs. Johnson.”

I stand as my name is called and follow the nurse into the exam room. There’s the usual blood pressure, temperature, and weight I have to go through. I sit on the exam table and wait for the doctor to come in several moments later.

“Hi, Heidi. How are you?”

“Okay.” I somewhat lie.

“Looks like you’ve been having some nausea and fatigue. Anything going on personally?”

I shake my head. “Nothing majorly different. My salon has been a lot busier and I think it’s just exhaustion.”

“Had sex lately?”

“Um…” I’m thrown off by the question. “About a month ago. But before you think anything, I took a home pregnancy test, and it was negative.”

“When was your last period?”

“I was spotty a couple weeks ago. Nothing too heavy, but I’d figured it’s the stress,” I explain.

“Could be. Let’s run some tests first, and then we’ll see from there. Okay?”

I nod, knowing she isn’t going to find anything. I’m normally very healthy. She directs me down the hall to have some blood work done; when it’s finished, I go back to the exam room I was in originally.

Time seems to drag on, but finally the doctor comes back in, followed by a nurse with an ultrasound machine.

“What’s this for?”

“Heidi,” she stares at me with a tight face. “I know you’ve had a stillbirth before, but this machine is to check to see something.”

“Why?”

“You’re pregnant again. And I want to check on the baby.”

My world stops. My heart. My breathing. It all stops in an instant. I can’t be having a baby. The test said negative.

The doctor has me lie down, and I’m in such shock, I do it. The cold jelly squirts on my belly and the nurse flips the machine on, showing me the hazy black and white photo.

I gasp as I see it. It’s not big, not much more than a peanut, but it’s there. My baby.

“Heidi, you’re about four weeks pregnant.”

I’m unable to cry, move, or talk. My mouth is hanging open. “Is the baby healthy?”

“It’s really early, but yes. As of right now, this baby is healthy.”

“What are you going to do?” Patty asks me.

“I don’t know.”

“You have options, you know.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I say again and grab another tissue. Crying seems to be all I’ve done since leaving the doctor’s office.

“You have to tell Jordan.”

“I know.” But how and when is a whole other topic, and I don’t want to get into that now. “I’m just going to go.” I stand up.

“Heidi, our session isn’t over.”

“I need air.” I rush away from her, out to my car, and spin out of the parking lot down the street.

I purchase the ticket for the Angels game, which is already four innings in. The crowd isn’t as big today since it’s a day game and on a weekday. I sit in my assigned seat and see the score. The Angels are up by three. I watch Jordan out on the field. He still looks tired, and I know it’s because of me.

What will he say?

What will he do when I finally tell him the truth?

I think of the late nights he was home and he’d rub my huge belly with Eden tucked inside. He would talk to her all the time. I remember one night she kept kicking me, and I couldn’t sleep, but Jordan was the one who soothed her to sleep.

I can’t stay in the stadium. I can’t tell Jordan yet.

The entire day, I’ve wondered the streets of Memphis. Driving up and down, going nowhere, and just wasting gas. I’m so tired, but I need to close up the salon.

The girls are laughing when I walk in. They’re almost finished cleaning up. I put on my fake smile and ask the normal questions. They seem to be overly happy with the business pickup, and I can’t agree more with them. It’s really been great.

“Heidi, this came for you today by messenger.” Colette hand me the large envelope.

I open it and gasp, falling into the nearest seat.

“What is it?” Skye asks first.

“My divorce papers.”

The girls are silent.

“Heidi, can you explain to me why you want a divorce?” Skye sits in the chair next to me at her station.

“Because I love him.” I wipe the tears and look up at her. “We had a daughter, but she died at birth, and I don’t want him to be sad.” I give them the abridged version of my life.

“I’m sorry about your daughter, but that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Kassy, the usually quiet one, chimes in. We all turn our heads to her. “What? You know I’m right. Why are your torturing you both for nothing?”

“It’s complicated. But now it’s over.” I wave the papers in the air.

“No, it’s not. Those papers aren’t final until they’re signed and filed. Right now, it’s just a bunch of words.” Kassy comes over. “Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“And you want to be with him?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’re a fool to be sitting here right now,” Kassy states, crossing her arms. “I’d give my soul to find my true love and you have yours waiting for you.”

“I can’t fix this.” I hold up the papers again.

The room is quiet, and suddenly Colette squeals. “I have an idea!”