Authors: Genevieve Jourdin
“Sure. You go on and I’ll
be in a bit. No, I’ll get these,” he told me when I went to gather a loose pain
killer.
I nodded and stood up,
grabbing two aspirin off of the counter as I went. I knew what I needed to do.
I walked around Carter, still on the floor, and flipped off the door to the
laundry room as I passed. Fucking Monique. I couldn’t believe Gloria. She
totally used my amnesia against me earlier. I told her after the last time that
I wouldn’t cat sit for her ever again. I was going to let Carter take her to a
kennel first thing tomorrow. I didn’t even feel a drop of remorse about it,
either.
I walked down the hallway
quickly; I had to do this before Carter was finished in the kitchen. I made it
to the bedroom and quietly closed the door before bolting over to the dresser.
I jerked out Carter’s underwear drawer and ran my hand along the bottom.
Nothing. I pulled the drawer out further and lifted up some stacked boxers.
Still nothing. What the hell? I knew it had been right there in the corner. I had
put it back carefully in exactly the same place I found it. I shoved the drawer
closed and opened his sock drawer right underneath. Nada.
Where was it?
This was horrible. Had he changed his mind? The thought
didn’t comfort me like I was expecting. Instead, it made my stomach drop. What
if he did? It wasn’t unheard of. My head started spinning as I slid the drawer
shut quietly. I didn’t realize how much I wanted him to want me that way. Even
though I was scared, it was nice to know he loved me that much. It was
flattering, too. Nobody had ever loved me that much in my
life
. Not even Gloria. I loved the fact that he adored me. It was a
darn good feeling and one that I reciprocated fully. I had never loved anyone
as much as Carter, not even Cheryl, and that was saying something.
I felt strangled, like I
couldn’t breathe. What if he didn’t want to marry me anymore? Suddenly the idea
of being married to him seemed like the most wonderful thing in the world and
the fact that it might not happen was completely unacceptable. I tried to think
of where else it could be, and I ran to his bedside table. I rummaged through
the contents trying in vain to find the ring, but after a few seconds I knew it
was fruitless. My shoulders sagged in defeat and I closed my eyes in an effort
to calm myself. This wasn’t getting me anywhere. I needed to stop and
think
.
While I sat there I
thought back to Elisa’s call the other day. She told me Carter’s secret and
ruined what could possibly have been the most wonderful night of both of our
lives. What a bitch move. Why would she have done it? I couldn’t wrap my mind
around that. When she was telling me, she made it sound like she was doing me a
favor and letting me in on a wonderful secret, but what a fucking nerve. How
dare
she ruin that for me? I made a
promise to never invite her back to my house. I hated her. Carter was right.
She was an evil bitch. How could I have not seen that before?
This was all her fault.
She’s the reason I got all worked up in the first place, digging around and
invading Carter’s privacy and then freaking out when I found what I had been
searching for. It was her fault I had time to freak out in the first place. I
probably would have just told Carter yes and saved myself all this angst. That
bitch is most likely the reason I had amnesia too! I was outraged. What if my
amnesia made Carter decide that I was too much trouble?
Oh my god
. She had ruined my life.
I threw myself down on
the bed and groaned. My whole life was in shambles. I thought back to the past
couple of days. I had run from Carter’s kiss yesterday, and then later I had
practically attacked him. I made him sleep on the couch last night and then
jumped him after we played Monopoly. Oh, and let’s not forget the way I treated
him when I woke up in the hospital. I basically told him there was no way I’d
ever be in a relationship with him. He probably thought I was crazy. Hell, I
was
crazy; the only difference was that
now
he
knew it, too.
I was flat
out wallowing in misery when I had an inspiration. Maybe he hid it in the
bathroom. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, pulling open all of the drawers.
I even looked in the cabinet I kept my tampons in. I searched through the
towels and the sheets and I was shoving lotion bottles aside when Carter
interrupted my search.
“What’s
going on?” I froze. Crap. I turned around slowly looking at the trail of mess I
had left in my wake. The drawers were open and there were random items strewn
haphazardly over the countertops. The towels looked as if Lucy had been trying
to make a nest in there. Had I lost my mind? I didn’t even remember wrecking
everything in my hunt.
“Where is
it?” I demanded
“Where is
what?”
“My ring?”
“I guess
in your jewelry box.”
“Why would
you put it in my jewelry box?” That didn’t even make sense, but I shot out of
the door past him and went to my jewelry box. I pulled open the lid almost
reverently, this was the moment. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until
I released it with a whoosh. It wasn’t there. Disappointment crashed through me.
I looked up at the doorway where Carter was standing and watching me. “It’s not
here.”
“Which
ring are you looking for? It might be in the bowl on the kitchen windowsill.” I
looked at him in confusion. He wasn’t getting it.
“My
engagement
ring, Carter. Where is it?”
Chapter Twenty Two
“What?” Carter’s voice
was weak and his face was a mask of horror and surprise. It took me a minute to
realize that I had just demanded an engagement ring that I had not been offered
yet. My own face got hot with mortification.
What had possessed me to ask him that?
I was most probably never
going to get it now. I floundered for a second unable to think of anything to
say that would extricate me from the quicksand of my stupidity. When was I ever
going to learn to turn on my verbal filter?
“Oh, Carter. I’m so
sorry.” I had pulled my hand over my mouth, something I should have done about
twelve seconds ago.
“Juss, did
you remember something?” He sounded so hopeful that I felt like a heel.
“Everything.
I remember everything. It just came back to me out of the blue.”
“Just now?” He lunged for
me and I let him pull me into a hug.
I could
have lied to him, but I knew he deserved the truth. “In the kitchen,” I
mumbled.
“In the
kitchen? And you didn’t say anything?” I hated the edge of disappointment in
his voice.
“I just
freaked out. I didn’t know what to say.” Talk about understatements.
“How about ‘Carter, I
remember.’?”
Uh, when
he put it like that it seemed like the logical thing to do, unfortunately I was
me and I did things my own way. “I’m sorry.”
“When were
you planning to tell me?”
“I just
needed a minute to myself. I was freaking out a little bit.” I was planning to
tell him right away, wasn’t I? I didn’t know for sure anymore.
“Did you need the time to
dig around for the ring?”
I thought
back. No, I had needed time to think, but it was true that left the kitchen
knowing I was going to look for it.
“No, well yes. I
remembered the ring and I just had to make sure that I was right. But it’s not
in your drawer anymore so I was worried you had changed your mind. I don’t know
what happened after that, I just snapped. I
had
to find it. I didn’t mean to ruin your surprise, Carter. Really.” Snapped. That
was what people with temporary insanity pleaded in court.
“I moved it.”
Well, at least he didn’t say he had changed his mind.
“Oh.” We
stood there awkwardly, which wasn’t something that happened to us very often.
With Carter at least, I was always in my comfort zone.
“Well, at
least you got your memory back. That’s what’s most important right now.” That’s
right. I had full use of my faculties for the first time in days. It felt
wonderful. Except for this situation, of course.
“So, you
remember the last two years?” I nodded. “What about us? Do you remember us?”
“Of
course. That’s why I hugged you in the kitchen. I was so happy to remember you
again.” I gave him a big smile and held him to me. “I love you. Thank you for
taking such good care of me.” He really was the most wonderful man in the
world.
“Oh Juss.
I love you so much.” He leaned down and captured my mouth, his tongue mingled
with mine. I felt a zing in my lady parts and I wiggled to relieve some of the
pressure.
He
continued kissing me as he moved me backwards and toward the bed and I took the
few seconds he was turning off the movie to divest myself of my pajama top.
Carter turned around, saw me and jerked his own shirt off while I kicked away
my pants and panties.
Carter was
going too slowly for my taste so I reached over to unsnap his jeans. “Hurry.”
He listened to me and
unsnapped his jeans, whipping them off in a flash. I took the opportunity to
climb up on the bed and kneel in the center. Carter followed me up seconds
later. We were pressed together and I could feel the hairs on his legs against
my thighs. I didn’t resist as Carter pushed me down on the bed with my head on
the pillows, I just opened my legs and wrapped them around him. Carter dragged
his finger up my slit and I shivered. I needed him desperately.
He bent
his head as if her were going to go down on me and I stopped him. “No time. I
need you inside me now.”
Carter
gave me a smile that reminded me of a pirate and positioned himself at my
entrance. I was just about to grab his ass and force him inside of me when he
did it himself. For a second I felt like I would black out. It felt that good,
but I regained my equilibrium a second later as he moved me over and started
thrusting in and out of me. It didn’t take long for my orgasm to overtake me
and the next thing I knew Carter was holding my waist and nudging me.
“Flip
over.” Now we’re talking. It’s like he was inside my head and knew just what I
needed.
I moved to
my hands and knees and let him angle me until I was filled with him again.
“Oh god, Carter. Hard, I
need it
hard
.” In the next breath he
was slamming into me as if his life depended on it. I could barely get enough
air my gasps were coming so fast. I lifted one hand and rubbed a circle on my
clit, coming apart almost immediately before collapsing down onto my face. I
was completely spent. Obviously Carter wasn’t. Before I was even able to turn
my head to get air, Carter was pulling me up and settling me on his lap. I felt
fuller than I had ever been, and as hypersensitive as was humanly possible.
He grabbed me around the
waist and moved me on top of him before I took over and ground myself on him.
He came almost instantly and pulled us down onto the pillows with a moan. I
tried to get my breathing back to normal while Carter moved his hand on my hip.
I felt
perfect
in that moment.
“I missed you.” His
words, spoken into my hair sent a warm thrill through me.
“I missed you, too. I
don’t ever want to feel so alone again.” Thinking back to the strangeness of my
amnesia made me feel extra grateful that I remembered how important Carter was
to me. He was The One. I knew it in my heart and after my momentary cold feet
on Friday and my little flip out a few minutes ago; I now knew it in my head. I
wasn’t scared anymore.
“We need to talk. About
it
.” I would have liked to put it off a
little longer and wallow in my happiness and satisfaction, but I sighed. I knew
he was right.
Chapter Twenty Three
I wondered if I should
talk first and explain my feelings or if Carter was going to break the silence.
I knew we had to clear the air, so much had happened, and although I had been a
little out of it for the past three days, I was fully in control of my mind
now. I felt terrible about what I had put Carter through. Looking at him with
full faculties, I could see the strain that my amnesia had had on him. He
looked tired and strained, even though he seemed a bit better today than he had
been yesterday.
“Well, I guess I’ll
start.” Whew, Carter was going to break the ice on what I knew was going to be
a stressful conversation. “How did you find out about the ring?” I scooted out
of his arms and turned myself to face him. He didn’t look angry so that gave me
the confidence to tell him the truth.
“Elisa told me.” I was
not afraid to throw her under the bus. I would never trust her again. “She just
called me out of the blue and I wouldn’t have answered normally, but I was just
finished uploading my latest post and I was distracted thinking about what
dishes I wanted to order for dinner that night at the new Thai place. Once I
hit the button I was sorry I had done it, but it was too late. She was talking
about going on a date with some guy from work and I was just listening and
agreeing with her when she told me she had something to tell me in confidence.”