“Because I think one of them may have been responsible for your attack.” I lowered my voice when a man wearing a suit and tie stepped off the elevator. His eyes lit up when he waved at Maura, prompting me to glower at him to discourage him from approaching.
“That was rude,” she hissed, folding her arms.
“I don’t care. We’re in the middle of something important. He can make a date with you on his own time.” I cursed myself for letting jealousy seep into my statement. God, I was so obvious when it came to her.
“What makes you think he wants to make a date with me?” she demanded, watching the suit pass through the glass doors to the street.
“I’m not blind. I saw the way he looked at you.”
“Really? How’s that?”
“The same way I look at you.” I knew she wouldn’t appreciate that comment.
“Don’t.” She held up her hand before slipping her keys back in her purse. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Fine.” I reached for her arm. “But you’re going to hear my theory about what happened that night, so you decide where you want to talk.”
“Why do you think I’ll believe anything you say?” she asked, shaking off my hand. “You’re trying to shift the blame to someone else because you’re not man enough to admit what you did to me.”
I was getting pissed. For years, I’d been accused of being a sadistic monster. I’d tried to hold my temper, telling myself the truth would come out, but hearing those words slip past the lips of the woman I loved was more than I could handle. “I. Didn’t. Do. It.”
She shrank back, obviously intimidated. “The police don’t agree.”
“I don’t give a fuck what they think. They’re wrong. And so are you.” I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. Please, just give me fifteen minutes.”
“No.”
I could tell by her stubborn stance that she wouldn’t go down without a fight, but neither would I. This was too important to me. She was too important to me.
“Maura, you do realize the man who raped you is still out there, right?” I whispered, leaning in. “He could be living right here, in this very neighborhood for all you know.” I hated resorting to scare tactics, but that seemed to be my only option.
“He could be living in this very building,” she said, glaring at me. “I could be looking right at him.” She narrowed her eyes. “For the record, I hate the contacts. Your eyes are…”
“They’re what?” She’d always told me my eyes took her breath away.
“Nothing, forget it. I have to go.” She brushed past me. “I have to get ready for a date.”
I grabbed her arm. “You what?”
“You heard me.” She looked at my hand clenching her arm.
I released her with a heavy sigh. “Who are you going out with?” I hated the thought of her seeing someone else, but I had no right to stop her.
“None of your business.”
“I know that, but I asked anyway.”
Her eyebrow quirked at my admission. “Fine, if you must know, I’m going out with a former client. I planned his parents’ anniversary party. Now his sister’s getting married, and he’s thinking he’d like to hire me to plan their wedding, as his gift to them.”
“So it’s a business dinner?” That made me feel marginally better.
“Did I say that? Technically his sister and future brother-in-law would be my clients. Josh would just be footing the bill for my services.”
“You’re trying to antagonize me,” I said, crossing my arms. “You’re trying to make me jealous.”
“You’re crazy. Why would I do that?” she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
I could tell she was lying by the way her eyes darted to the mirror as she licked her lips. As much as I hated the thought of her going out with someone else, I took solace in the fact we weren’t as far apart as I’d feared. “You wouldn’t be baiting me if you were really afraid of me.”
“I’m not baiting you. I’m simply stating a fact. I’m trying to move on with my life, and I suggest you do the same.”
“What if I can’t?”
She was already walking to the elevator. She stopped and turned to look at me. “What are you talking about?”
“What if I can’t rest knowing the prick who hurt you is still out there? What if I can’t sleep until I know he’s behind bars and can’t hurt you again?”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “God, you’re good. You almost have me convinced you’re sincere.”
At least that was progress.
“I guess that’s how you managed to lure me in, isn’t it? Because you’re such a good liar.”
Okay, maybe progress was too strong a word. “You don’t have to believe me, but for your own sake, talk to me. Tell me what you remember about that night. Anything. Everything. If we put our heads together, maybe we can figure this thing out.”
Maura swallowed, looking nervous and uncertain. “Come to my office in the morning. We can talk there, but don’t think it means that I’m on board with your… claim. I don’t know what to think yet, but I haven’t discounted the possibility that you’re responsible.”
“Fine, I get it.” I watched her walk to the elevator and punch the button before I said, “Maura?”
“What?”
“I hope your date bores you out of your mind.”
“Oh, shut up.”
***
I arrived at Maura’s office at nine sharp, though she hadn’t specified a time. Her date had brought her home a little after ten. I knew because I’d
happened
to glance out the window and spotted them getting out of his car, a late-model gray Lincoln. Even his car was safe and boring.
She looked up when I tapped on her door and opened it a crack.
“Oh, I didn’t expect you so early.” Taking her reading glasses off and setting them on the desk, she said, “Come in.”
I stepped inside, holding up a tray containing two coffees and chocolate croissants. Chocolate croissants were always one of her favorites. “I thought you might like to start your day with one of these.” I handed her the bag before removing the cups from the tray and setting them on the desk.
She peered into the bag before looking at me. “It’s unnerving.”
“What is?” I sat across from her.
“How well you know me.” She took the croissant out of the bag and set it on a paper napkin before passing the bag back to me. “I look at you and see…” She sighed, rubbing her fingertips over her forehead. “This, I don’t know, public figure who has his face splashed across TV, the Net, and magazines with all these beautiful women. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re the same guy I fell in love with in college.”
“I am the same guy,” I said, trying to distract myself with the pastry. Her voice had been soft, without the hostile edge I was becoming accustomed to, and I didn’t want to say or do anything to set her off again. “Well, that’s not entirely true. I’d be lying if I said prison doesn’t change a person.”
She seemed startled by my candor, and her eyes met mine. “It must have been horrible.” She swallowed. “How did you get through it?”
I tried not to think about my years in prison. If I allowed myself to dwell on it, I’d get angry all over again, and since I couldn’t change the past, there was no point. “Like I said, I had a plan. I knew what I wanted to do when I got out. I became obsessed with the business I wanted to build… and clearing my name.”
“Did you…” She hesitated as she peeled back the lid of her coffee cup. “Get into a lot of fights with other inmates?”
Unlike others who had spent years in prison, I hadn’t been traumatized by the violence inside. Fighting had always been a part of my life, so even the biggest and toughest prisoners didn’t scare me. I knew my training would allow me to take them when their only weapon was their fists.
“Well, did you?”
“I made it clear right away that I wasn’t going to take any shit. A group of guys jumped me in the shower my first week.” I chuckled. “I took all four of them out. Sent one to the infirmary for five days. After that, the guys gave me a wide berth.” I took a bite of pastry as she watched me, seemingly mesmerized. “The odd new-comer would challenge me, thinking he was a bad-ass because he was in for murder or whatever, but guys like that always fall hard. Once you put them in their place, they don’t come back looking for more.”
“I can’t imagine what it must be like,” she said, bringing the cup to her lips. “How people survive in places like that.”
“It’s the mental torture that gets to you more than anything.” I couldn’t believe I was confiding in her about the darkest time in my life. Since she was the only one who knew my real identity, she was the only one I’d ever been able to talk to about my time in prison. It was strange, kind of cathartic. “Knowing you could spend the rest of your life holed up there, trying to ignore the fact that your dreams could die with you and the world would think you were just a worthless piece of shit who did all the things you were accused of.”
Maura stared at me intently, obviously processing everything I said and trying to decide whether or not she could believe me. I knew she wanted to, but I couldn’t blame her for having reservations. I’d lied to her and deceived her. That wasn’t easy to forget or forgive.
“The thing that bothered me the most was what it did to my parents. Hell, my old man spent his whole life taking criminals off the streets, and he had to visit his only remaining child behind bars. That really ate at me. That, and knowing you believed I could have done that to you, to those other women.”
She shifted, keeping her eyes fixed on the pastry. She tore off a small piece and popped it into her mouth. “Your parents have no idea you—”
“No, I couldn’t do that to them. It was my decision, my secret. I don’t want the cops on their doorstep, demanding answers about my whereabouts. I’ve already put them through enough. So I just disappeared. That was always part of my plan, to reinvent myself.”
“How did you”—she gestured to my face—“pull this off. I mean, not just the look, but everything. Everything about you is different, from your personality to your mannerisms.”
“I don’t know about that.” I leaned back as I reached for my coffee. “I’m still pretty intense. I had no idea I could still be possessive until you walked back into my life and proved I haven’t changed as much as I thought I had. All those old insecurities are back with a vengeance.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, frowning.
“Take last night for example. I couldn’t get the thought of you and
him
out of my mind.” When her hand froze in mid-air, I asked, “How was it by the way, your date?”
Before she could respond, her receptionist knocked on the door and poked her head in. “I’m sorry to disturb you, Maura, but these came for you.” She brought in a vase filled with fresh, multi-colored blooms. Winking, the middle-aged lady smiled and said, “Someone must think you’re pretty special.”
“Thank you,” Maura said, blushing. “You can just set them on the coffee table.”
I waited for the receptionist to leave before I glanced at the card sticking out of the arrangement. It read,
Maura, Thank you for an evening I won’t soon forget. Josh
“I guess it went well,” I muttered, lacing my hands so I wouldn’t clench them into fists. I couldn’t shake the feeling there was a clock ticking, and I had to prove my innocence before it was too late.
“He’s a nice guy.” She cleared her throat as her eyes drifted to the flowers. “I like him. A lot.”
“Then you’ll be seeing him again?” I had no right to ask, but I had to know. Was he the guy who would take my place? The thought sickened me.
“I don’t know.” She closed her eyes, tipping her head back against the cushioned headrest. “I’m so confused about everything. I can’t help but think this isn’t the best time to be dating.”
“You’re probably right.” I was grasping at straws and she knew it, judging by her wry expression. “It might be best for you to take some time to focus on your career, what you want out of your life, before you get into another relationship.”
“Funny, I don’t recall you saying anything like that when I came looking for you the night of the birthday party.”
My lips curled into a half-smile. “It’s different with us. It’s not like you’re getting to know someone new, trying to figure out whether the chemistry is there. We already know it is. We have history together.”
“A dark and disturbing history.”
“No, we had great times that were overshadowed by one big lie.” I zeroed in on her eyes. “What you believe about that night, it’s a lie. The cops wanted someone to pin it on, and I made it easy for them. I was the last one to see you. We argued at the bar. My neighbor heard us fighting. It was no secret I was mad as hell and looking to settle a score, then you got attacked leaving my place. I’m the first to admit it’s damning, but it’s all circumstantial. They had no concrete proof it was me because it wasn’t.”
She took a deep breath before exhaling slowly. “Do you know how desperate I was to convince myself it wasn’t you? I didn’t want to believe you could do that to me. But what was I supposed to think? I didn’t think anyone else could have known the things he did about our sex life.” She shivered. “The details were so intimate, so graphic, things only you could have known.”
“I’ve been beating myself up ever since you told me that, angel.”
She glared at me when the endearment slipped out, but she remained silent, waiting for me to convince her of my innocence.
“Whoever did this to you…” It was tough to get the words out, but I had to. “I gave them the ammunition. I gave them information that fueled their sick fantasies. I hate myself for that.”
“I still can’t believe you would do that,” she said, her eyes downcast and shuttered. “I trusted you. I did those things because you wanted me to.”
“You wanted to too, Maura.”
“I know. I’m not denying I was curious, but I never expected you to tell your buddies about it. I thought I was special to you. I thought you loved me.”
It killed me to see what my thoughtlessness had done to her. If I could take it back or make up for my mistakes, I would. But the only thing I could do was try to restore her faith in me by finding the person responsible for hurting her. “I loved you more than anything, but you know how jealous and possessive I was. Knowing my friends wanted you only fueled that. I thought if they knew how much you trusted me, how tight we were, they’d back off and stop treating you like just another piece of ass.”