“Can you…” She swallowed hard, as though it were difficult for her body to obey her brain’s simple commands. “Just sit here with me? Can we talk about something else for a bit?”
“Of course.” I was hesitant. I was always so commanding, so hell-bent on being in control in every situation, and hesitancy was a new and unwelcome feeling. “Where would you like me to sit?”
She patted the free space behind her. “Right here.”
It was a little thing, but if she was inviting the contact, the close proximity, it meant she was letting go of her fear. She believed I wasn’t a threat, at least to her personal safety. That didn’t mean she was willing to trust me again, but it was a start.
I slid in behind her, careful to leave enough distance so that she could decide how close she was willing to get. I closed my eyes when, after a moment’s hesitation, she sank into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on her shoulder.
“Remember when we used to sit here like this?” she asked, closing her arms around mine. “Everyone had gone to bed, so we weren’t afraid of being caught. It was dark, and we were all alone.”
I smiled. “Those are some of my favorite memories.”
She turned her head, her cheek close to my lips. “Really?”
“Yeah, we’d sit here and talk for hours, sometimes until the sun threatened to come up.” I chuckled. “Your old man was an early riser, and we were always afraid he’d come out and find us like this.”
“It’s not like we were doing anything, just talking.” She laughed. “Well, most of the time.”
“I’d never just talked with a girl before. That was a first for me.”
“So why’d you spend so much time ‘just talking’ to me?”
“I wanted to know everything about you.” My grip tightened. God, now that I had her back in my arms, I never wanted to let her go. I wasn’t sure if this was stirring her emotions the way it was mine or if she just needed the comfort of human contact, but I prayed we were starting something more, something real and honest and lasting. “The mundane things made me fall in love with you. It was never about your body or your beauty. It was the little things that made me love you. Your quirkiness.”
She smirked as she turned her head to look at me. “My quirkiness?”
“Yeah, like who the hell hits hard candies with a hammer so they can sprinkle them on their ice cream?”
“Hey, I put them in a Ziploc baggie first!” she said, folding her arms with a pout.
I laughed, squeezing her tight. “God, this feels good.” I breathed deeper than I had in years because I finally felt like the second skin I’d been wearing, the mask, was falling away. I was getting in touch with the best parts of the guy I used to be.
“That’s what scares me,” she said tentatively. “It does feel good. It feels right, but at the same time, it feels wrong.”
“How so?”
“Even if you’re innocent, which I’m beginning to believe you are, I shouldn’t have these feelings for a man who lied to me and used me to further his own cause. I don’t want to fall in love with the wrong man again. I want someone who’ll put me first, who’d rather die than hurt me.”
How could I tell her the guy she’d met just a short time ago in New York was fading fast? I’d spent years becoming Blaise Walsh, a hard-ass business mogul who built an empire one ruthless fighter at a time. But I wasn’t so sure I wanted to be that guy anymore. She made me remember there was more to life than business. Moments like these, just hanging out with her, made me happier than any career success I’d experienced.
“Part of me wishes you’d just go back to New York and leave me alone,” she said.
“Part of you?”
“The other part of me remembers…” She gripped my hand. “Is so grateful I’m getting a chance to reconnect with my first love. I still can’t believe it’s happening. I mean, I saw you on TV dozens of times and thought there was something about you that captivated me. I assumed it was because you were so handsome, but now I know it was more than that.”
“So you think that intangible thing that drew us together all those years ago is still there?”
“Obviously. I never would have cheated on my fiancé if it hadn’t been.” She dropped her head. “God, I still can’t believe I had sex with you the first night we met. You must have thought I was just like all the other women who throw themselves at you.”
“If I’d thought that, I wouldn’t have followed you here and bought your office building and apartment building just to be closer to you.”
She shook her head as though she couldn’t let herself believe I was being sincere. “You came here because getting closer to me was part of your plan. You intended to use me to get information so you could clear your name and reconnect with your parents.”
“I’m not going to lie or try to make excuses, angel.” I held her tighter, afraid she might try to get away before I could tell her what I felt. “That was the plan, but the plan changed after that first night we spent together.”
Maura shifted but didn’t try to pull away. “What do you mean?”
“I felt things with you that I hadn’t felt in years. You made me come alive again. That’s why I came to your room the next morning to give you that bracelet. I wanted you to know you were special, that our time together meant something to me. You weren’t like all the others, and the only thing that mattered to me was seeing you again.”
“You say all the right things, but how do I know I can believe you?”
“You don’t… yet. I’ve broken the trust. I can’t rebuild that overnight. But maybe if you give me a chance, just to be your friend for now, I can prove that I’m not the selfish bastard you think I am. I want to put you first. I intend to put you first, and I think with time, you’ll realize that.” I wanted to be so much more than her friend, but for now, that was the best place to start rebuilding our relationship.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Fair enough.” I tried not to let my disappointment seep into my voice. Everything worth having was worth working for, and nothing was worth more to me than she was. “You don’t have to decide anything tonight. I’m not going anywhere until we figure this thing out, so you have time to decide how you feel about me.”
“What about your business?”
I smiled. “That’s the beauty of technology and owning a private jet. I can run my business and be where I need to be within a few hours.”
“About that night… the night of the attack.”
“Yes?” I held my breath, almost afraid of what she might say next.
“He kissed me.” Her grip on my forearms tightened. “I hated it. I tried to turn my head, but he forced my mouth open. He even bit me.”
I gently kissed her neck, trying to distract her from the painful memories. “It’s okay, angel. We don’t have to—”
“He tasted like whisky and cigarettes. I always thought that was strange, because you hated whisky and didn’t smoke.”
I felt my heart thumping hard. I wondered if she could feel it too. This was an important moment for us, perhaps a turning point.
“There were so many things that didn’t add up. I don’t know why I didn’t see them then.”
“Because you were being brainwashed into believing what they wanted you to believe, sweetheart. You were traumatized. How could you be expected to make rational decisions when you were still dealing with being raped and brutalized?”
“Then you don’t hate me?” she whispered. “You don’t hate me for believing you were responsible?”
“Angel, I could never hate you.”
I love you.
“You were the victim in all this.”
“So were you.”
I closed my eyes, relishing the words I never thought I’d hear from her lips. “Thank you for saying that, but I can’t begin to compare what I went through with your experience.”
“You were probably a lot braver than I would have been. I can’t believe you spent all those years in prison for crimes you didn’t commit.”
She trembled, and I reached for the throw at the bottom of the lounger and covered her with it.
“It must have been horrible. I can’t even imagine.”
“It made me who I am.” I kissed her cheek. “Just like loving you made me who I am. There’s no one else like you, Maura. Never has been. Never will be. At least not for me.”
She remained quiet so long, I though she may not respond, but finally she said, “There’s so much for me to process. I spent so many years trying to hate you and hating myself because I couldn’t. Then I met you in New York and fell in love with you only to find out you’d betrayed me in the worst possible way. I don’t know if I can get past that.”
“I understand.” I would have felt the same way in her position.
“I have a headache,” she said, closing her eyes as she leaned her head on my shoulder.
“Just rest now, baby. Close your eyes and let me hold you.”
Chapter Four
By happy coincidence, Maura and I met in the parking lot of our building early the next morning.
“Hey,” I said, grinning as I stopped in front of her car. “Sleep well?”
She smiled. “Surprisingly well. You?”
“Not as well as I would have if you’d been sleeping beside me.”
She blushed and shook her head. “Just stop.”
It felt good to tease her again, for our conversation to flow easily, without anger and hostility. “Busy day today?”
“Yeah, I’m at Magna setting up for an event tonight.”
“Hmmm, think you’ll be able to take a lunch break?”
“Why? What did you have in mind?”
“I’m going to meet with the guys from my old crew this morning,” I said. “I really think one of them could be behind this. I thought I could fill you in on what they had to say over a quick lunch?”
“I think I could swing that.” She set her travel mug on the roof of her car. “Maybe around one?”
“You got it.” I didn’t bother telling her I would rearrange my entire day to accommodate her.
“Um, how will you explain your interest in this to those guys?” she asked. “Won’t they wonder why someone like you would get mixed up in a case like this? Maybe you should just have your private investigator question them.”
“No way,” I said quickly. “This is personal. Besides, I know those guys. I think I’d be able to tell if they were lying.”
“Yeah, but you’re still going to have to give them some reasonable explanation for your interest.”
“I could tell them you’re my girlfriend.”
She licked her lips before her gaze fell. “Why would you do that?”
“I could tell them you’re not sure the right guy went down for it, that you’re afraid the real perpetrator might be out there, and as someone who loves you, I want to make sure you’re safe. Are you okay with that?”
Maura nodded slowly. “I guess that’s the only explanation that would make sense.”
“I think so.” I took her hand and brought it to my lips. “Have a good morning, angel. I’ll see you at one.”
***
I’d already met with the first three guys, all of whom had agreed to meet with me for the right price. They’d said their time was valuable and they couldn’t afford to take time off work without compensation. I knew one of them was unemployed and one was off that day due to rain, but a few thousand bucks was a small price to pay for the answers I needed.
I’d hoped to walk away from those meetings with a sense that one of them knew more than he were letting on about what had happened to Maura, but I didn’t. They all seemed as clueless as I was about that night, but I wasn’t ready to give up hope. I had one more man to see, one more chance before I hit a dead end.
Jim was sitting on the front porch of the same old run-down house I remembered. Of all the guys in the crew, he and I had been the closest. I’d told him things I hadn’t told anyone else, and if he was the one who’d betrayed me, it would cut the deepest.
“Hey,” he said, watching me warily.
I’d kept it casual with faded jeans, a tight black T-shirt, and black boots, but I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone. Jim already knew who I was and what I was, so there was no point in trying to hide my wealth. If he wanted money to spill his guts, I’d give it to him. Then I’d bury him.
“Jim.” It wasn’t a question, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Thanks for meeting with me.”
He smirked. “It’s not like I had anywhere else to be. Work’s hard to come by these days.”
“Sorry to hear that.” I leaned against a pillar covered with dirty, peeling paint.
“Not that you’d know anything about that.” He raised his eyes, narrowing them slightly as though he’d seen something he hadn’t expected to. “Is it true you’re worth a couple of billion?”
I shrugged. He wasn’t the first person with the audacity to ask that question, and I was sure he wouldn’t be the last. “You’d have to ask my accountant. I don’t add it up. I just cash the checks.”
He laughed, revealing chipped, yellowing teeth. “You want a beer?”
“No, thanks.” It wasn’t even noon, but I was pretty certain he’d already had a beer breakfast. No wonder he couldn’t find work. He was probably half in the bag all the time. “I don’t have a lot of time, Jim. Like I said on the phone, I was just hoping to ask you a few questions about Maura.”
“I don’t know what I can tell you about her. I didn’t know her all that well.” He grabbed a pack of cigarettes off a nearby table and offered me one before he extracted one from the pack and lit it, sheltering the lighter’s flame from the wind with his hand. “My crew and I worked on a project for her parents.” He frowned. “A pool house, I think.”
I threw an envelope stuffed with bills on the table beside him. “Maybe this’ll help jog your memory.”
He tipped his head as he looked from me to the money and back again. “Why’s some big-shot like you wasting your time on this? You bangin’ her or what?”
I crossed my arms, trying to keep my temper in check. “Maura’s my girlfriend.” It felt so good, so right to say that. If only it were true. “She told me what happened to her, said the guy who went down for it is on the run.”
Jim chuckled. “Yeah, Matt Cooper. He always was a sly son of a bitch. I’m not surprised he’s been out-smarting the law all these years.”
“You knew this guy pretty well?”
“Matt?” He tipped his head back to blow a smoke ring into the air. “Yeah, we were real tight back in the day. He was a good guy.”