“You’re downplaying it so I won’t feel guiltier than I already do.” A small smile teased her lips. “Thank you for that, but you don’t have to spare me. I want the truth. From now on, that’s all I want from you. The truth. Even when it hurts.”
“Okay, you got it.” My heart skipped a beat when I realized what she was saying. “That means you trust me to tell you the truth?”
“I want to.” Her gaze met mine. “I’m not going to pretend it’ll be easy for us to rebuild trust after everything that’s happened, but I would like to try.”
“So would I.”
More than anything.
I inched closer, knowing I could never get close enough. Even when I was buried deep inside her, it wasn’t close enough. “How do we start? What do you need from me?”
Anything, I’ll give you anything, angel. Just name it.
“For starters, you can be honest about Lana. Are you sure there’s nothing between you two, no residual feelings?”
I thought carefully before I answered, knowing I couldn’t afford to make another mistake. “I think she has feelings for me, but it’s totally one-sided. When she’s feeling better, we’ll have the friends talk again, just so there’s no confusion.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” she said, looking pleased. “How long do you think she’ll be here?”
“I’m not sure yet.” I grinned. “Why? Are you anxious to have me all to yourself again?”
“Maybe.”
I took the glass out of her hand and stretched to set both glasses on the end table behind her. Instead of reclaiming my spot, I invaded her space. My mouth swept across her shoulder until I felt thrill bumps rise on her soft skin.
“Sexy little get-up, by the way.” I tugged the elastic from her hair, working my fingers through the silky strands as I massaged her scalp.
“I’m glad you like it.” A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips before it morphed into a look of ecstasy. “God, that feels good.” She closed her eyes as I manipulated her with my fingertips, coaxing her into relaxing.
“Turn around,” I whispered.
She didn’t hesitate to obey, which made me smile. I was determined to work to regain her trust, because nothing felt better than knowing she was willing to give herself to me completely. I rubbed her shoulders, dropping kisses up and down her arms as I worked to relax her.
“God,” she moaned. “How could I forget this was one of your many talents? I remember all those nights when I was supposed to be pulling an all-nighter studying, and you’d convince me to take a break so you could help me relax.”
I smirked, thinking about all the ways I’d helped her relax. It had always started with an innocent massage and ended with multiple orgasms. We couldn’t be in the same room without wanting to tear off each other’s clothes.
“You’re thinking about it too, aren’t you?” she asked, her voice huskier than usual. “What those massages led to?”
I suspected she knew where I hoped this massage would lead, and I didn’t want her to feel pressured. If she needed to take things slow, I was more than willing, but I’d give every outrageously expensive car in my garage to make love to her right now.
“Answer me.” Her words were a cross between a whisper and a moan, and they sounded sexier than sin.
“How can I not? You looked so fucking hot tonight.” My fingers dug into her lower back before dipping to the swell of her bottom. As my hands slipped beneath the elastic, I muttered, “And I had to watch you walk away to go out with some douchebag who didn’t deserve you.”
“How do you know he doesn’t deserve me?” She sounded amused, and she stretched her neck, tipping her head forward.
“He didn’t even come to pick you up! What kind of date is that?”
“The kind that ends with a hug.”
I grinned, unable to suppress my pleasure. “So you didn’t even kiss him goodnight?”
“What would be the point? I couldn’t have kissed him without thinking about you.”
“Then why the fuck did you go out with him?” I demanded, grabbing her waist to pull her closer. “Just to torture me?”
“No.” She ran her hands down my thighs, making my cock stand at attention. Just the slightest touch from her, and I was good to go. She said, “You think this is fun for me? I should be trying to get over you. I’m not stupid. I know this could all end with more heartache.”
“Never.” I wrapped my arms around her mid-section. “If you give me another chance, I swear I won’t screw it up, angel. I’ll never lie to you. I won’t pretend with you. If there’s something on my mind, I’ll tell you. If I have a problem, you’ll be the first person I call.”
“Just like the old days.”
Just when I thought I couldn’t love her any more, she did or said something to remind me I couldn’t survive without her. “We were kids then. We’re adults now, with a lot of experiences behind us. We’ve both had other partners, other lovers, and we know it doesn’t get any better than this. You make sense of my fucked-up life.”
She laughed. “Most people would say you have a pretty enviable life.”
“That’s because they don’t share my mirror. They don’t wake up with an emptiness in their chest every morning. They’re not haunted by the woman who left them.” I felt raw, exposed and vulnerable.
“You have no idea what it does to me when you say things like that.” She kissed my hand on her shoulder. “You could have any woman you want, and you chose me. That makes me feel so… special.”
“You are special.” I nuzzled her neck. “And not because I chose you. You were special long before I came into your life, baby. I need you. Let me make love to you. Let me show you how much you mean to me. Please.” Begging for sex was a first for me, but she had a way of turning the tables on me every damn time. I loved that she was like no one else, that she made me feel things no one else could.
“Maybe we should take it slow, Blaise.”
I chuckled, but it sounded more tortured than amused. I dropped my forehead to her shoulder. “I think it’s a little late for that, don’t you? We’ve made love more times than I can count.”
“But this is different,” she said, closing her hand over mine. She turned her head to catch a glimpse of my face. “This is like starting over, the first time we’d be making love as… you and me. Before, there was this…. I don’t know… mask in place. I thought I was having sex with someone else. Now that I know it’s you, it changes everything.”
“How so?” Even more than I wanted to make love to her, I wanted to listen to her. I wanted to understand what she was thinking and feeling and, more importantly, how she felt about me. I’d been around the block enough times to know the thrill of an orgasm was fleeting, but love was lasting.
“You were the one for me.” She smiled as she kissed the back of my hand. “The guy who gave me butterflies when he looked at me, made me tremble when he made love to me, made me so mad sometimes I could’ve committed murder, and so happy I thought my feet would never touch solid ground again.”
I let her words course through me and ease my emotional bruises and scrapes. I’d always loved her. In spite of the years and heartache that separated us, she was
the one
for me too. “You’re right. We shouldn’t rush this. No matter how long it takes to build a solid foundation, it’ll be worth it if it means I can have you back in my life again.”
She turned to face me. “What exactly does that mean? Having me back in your life again?”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t know. When we were kids and talked about a future together, it was simple. We lived in the same town and couldn’t imagine our aspirations would take us anywhere else.”
I laughed. “I don’t think I had any aspirations beyond getting you into bed, did I?”
She slapped my chest, smirking. “I’m serious. Your life is so different now.”
I smiled as I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear before cradling her face in my palm. “Not so different. I’m still the same guy I was back then. I just have the money to treat you like a princess now. That’s the only difference.”
“I don’t need stuff to make me happy, you know that,” she said. “The only thing I need to make me happy is this. Just being here with you like this, talking, reconnecting, finding my center again.”
My heart beat double time when she gifted me with those words. I’d spent years fending off vultures who only wanted my money, and the woman of my dreams was telling me the only thing she wanted was… me.
Just me.
“What?” she asked, running her finger down my cheek. “You have this look on your face. What’s that about?”
“I just realized I could never give you what you’ve given me, and it’s kind of humbling.” I cleared my throat, trying to find the words to help her understand what I was feeling. “I’m used to being in control. I like it that way. But with you, it’s different. I feel completely out of control.”
She grinned as though she enjoyed my declaration a little too much. “How so?”
“You make me crazy.” I frowned. “When I see another guy look at you too long or, God forbid, touch you, it makes me want to bust him up.”
Maura tried to suppress a laugh as she bit her lip. “Old habits die hard, huh, Coop?”
My head snapped up, and my eyes captured hers. It had been so long since anyone had called me that. It sounded familiar and so unbelievably right. Matt Cooper. That was who I was and who I wanted to be with her. “Yeah, they do.”
She traced the bare skin peeking through the knee of my jeans. “You were saying I make you feel out of control…?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you.” I’d never said those things to any other woman, because no one else had ever brought out my obsessive tendencies. Maura and I had probably had this very same conversation fourteen ago, because once she got inside my head, under my skin, I couldn’t get her out.
“I have a business to run. I’m supposed to be focusing on that, but you make it damn near impossible. You creep into my head at the most inopportune times—in the middle of a meeting, or a conference call, or when I’m reaming out one of my fighters for some public scandal or dumb-ass comment.”
She pushed my shoulders back into the couch as she straddled me. “I like the sound of that. Keep talking.”
Chapter Seven
“I dream about you.” Fuck, that sounded pathetic, but it was true. “I wake up hard, thinking about you riding me.”
“Hmmm…” She inched closer, rubbing her core against my hard shaft. “What do you do to ease the pain?” She flicked her tongue over my earlobe. “Do you take matters into your own hands?”
I tried to laugh, but the sound got trapped in my throat when she started unfastening my shirt. I looked at her little hands splayed on my chest and felt my cock swell. “No, baby. There’s no way I could make myself feel as good as you do, so I don’t even bother trying.”
Maura threaded her hands through my hair, tipping my head back as she looked into my eyes. “Take those out.”
“What?”
“Take those contacts out. I hate them. I love your eyes. I want to see
your
eyes when I ride you.”
How could I argue with that?
I tipped my head back and popped out the lenses, then set them on the table beside us. I had a feeling I wouldn’t need them again. People would question the change, but I could tell them my real color was colored contacts. I didn’t care what they thought. Whatever my baby wanted, she got. Besides, it would feel good to look in the mirror and see some hint of my old self again.
“So much better,” she whispered, gliding her tongue over the seam of my lips. “God, you’re so hot, almost too good-looking.”
I smirked. “I could ask one of the boys to bust me up if that would make you feel better.”
“No, you don’t have to do that.” She skated her mouth over my chest as she spread my shirt wider. “As long as you make it clear that you belong to me.”
I loved when she got possessive. Tightening my grip on her waist, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes when she kissed my neck. “Done.”
“Those most eligible bachelor lists you always make…”
“What about them?”
“You’re not. Eligible, that is.” She curled her hands around the back of my neck, forcing me to look at her. “You’re mine now. Is that understood?”
“Fuck yes.” I took her mouth with an urgency that stoked the simmering flame.
She submitted to my domination almost immediately, surrendering to my will. I couldn’t get enough of her. As I thrust my tongue into her mouth, exploration morphed into desperation.
“And you’re mine, angel. Mine.” It felt so good to say that again, to know it was true. With no more lies or secrets between us, nothing and no one could ever tear us apart again.
“Yes. Yours.” She reached for my belt buckle as she slid to the floor.
“What are you doing?” I thrust my hands into her hair.
“Staking my claim.” Her movements were quick, with no hesitation. “You talked about losing control earlier. I want to watch you lose control and know that I’m responsible. I want to hear you moan my name when you come.”
She was throwing my words back at me. I’d said the same things to her countess times. I loved her aggressive side. Knowing she needed me as much as I needed her turned me on.
“I can’t wait to watch you,” I murmured, my voice low and gravelly. “Damn…” As soon as her lips sealed around my cock, I was lost to the buzz building in my body.
She used that lush mouth to bring me to the brink of pleading and back again. She looked up at me, her bright eyes heavy as she drew lazy circles up and down my length with her tongue. “You like that, baby?”
“You know I do.” My breath came in short gasps as she fisted my cock, using her hand and mouth to bring me closer to the abyss. I wrapped her hair around my hand, tugging just enough to get her attention. “Not like this, angel. Not tonight. Tonight I want to watch you ride me. Come here.”
She bent her legs on either side of mine as she braced her hands on my shoulders. “Is this how you want me?”
I lowered my head, surrounding her peaked nipple with my mouth. I swirled my tongue around the tight bud as she dug her nails into my shoulders. The slight pain felt good, so good. I felt alive again after so many years of being numb. She unleashed my ability to feel again, and for that, I would be forever in her debt.