Learning to Live (13 page)

I felt so cold and I couldn’t stop shaking. I tried to move to warm
up, but I couldn’t move any part of my body without the pain stopping
me. I heard a beeping noise and someone talking, but I couldn’t make
out the words. After a minute every word became clear.

“How long do you think she’ll be out doctor? We really need to
question her and see if she’ll press charges against that sick son of a
bitch.” I listened, trying to recognize the foreign voice. It was too deep
to be Tony’s or Brad’s.

Brad! I instantly remembered what happened and opened my
eyes. I tried to sit up and scream, but I had something in my throat. I
struggled to get it out because I couldn’t breathe, and it felt like Brad’s
hands were squeezing my throat again.
I have to get away to save my
baby.
I felt hands grab my own and yank them away from my neck.
They were telling me to calm down, but how could I be calm when
Brad was strangling the life out of me.
What is wrong with these
people? Why won’t they help me?

I felt like I was entering a fog as my limbs became heavy. I saw
figures standing around me, and the harder I tried to make out who
they were, the blurrier they became. I couldn’t move my hand to rub
my stomach, so I looked and saw the area that used to be big and
round is now flat. I wanted to scream and find out where Brian was,
but my eyelids were too heavy, and I fell into darkness once again.

I shake myself from the memories and realize I used all the hot
water and am now freezing. I look at the clock and see it’s two in the
morning. I’m thankful I was cut early tonight because of dance
practice tomorrow. I hope I can still dance with a group like I used to.
It’s been years and I’m nervous about messing up and stepping on
someone’s toes. I jump in my bed and doze off into a fitful sleep while
clutching Brian’s blanket.

It’s Sunday morning and I can hear the waves crash along the
shore outside my window. Jazz and Tru got in around three in the
morning and are sleeping down the hall, but I have an urge to wake
them just so I can see Tru in the early morning sun. Instead of waking
them up myself, I get a great idea and head downstairs to see the
birthday boy.

I find him sitting on the beige leather sectional watching some
children’s sing-along show while my mom makes breakfast in the
kitchen.

“Morning, birthday boy.” I sit beside him, propping my feet up on
the coffee table and ruffling his blond hair. It needs to be cut soon; it’s
almost past his ears.

“Jax!” he squeals and jumps right in my lap. You would think it’s
been a year since he last saw me instead of just a few weeks. “I’m
getting my wicense today so I can dwive just wike you.” The kid still
has trouble pronouncing his Ls and Rs, so I have to really listen to him
to understand what he says sometimes.

“I know, man. You’re really getting big. What kind of car do you
want to drive?” I ask, even though I already know the answer. He
starts jumping up and down on the couch all around me. Instinctively, I
move my hands to cover my crotch just to be safe.

“I want one just wike yaws. A big wed Jeep that I can take Mia
out in.” My parents are close friends with Mia’s family. She’s seven
years old, but Cohen has it bad for her. She was adopted from China a
few years after we adopted McKenzie.“Well, big guy, that’ll be
awesome, and Mia will really like it.” It’s time to get him to work his
little brother magic. “Hey Co, you want to meet a really pretty lady?”
He loves the ladies so I know his answer before he gives it, but it’s still
funny to watch his face contort into a huge smile.

“A pwetty wady. But where is she?” he asks, his blue eyes
roaming the room at a fast pace. I can already tell this is a great idea.
Trying not to laugh at his expression, I sit up straight and get a
serious look on my face. You would think he’s a secret agent on a
mission with the way he’s whispering. “Well, man, she’s upstairs in
Jazz’s room asleep. I think it’s time for them to wake up, don’t you?
We don’t want them to miss the party.” I don’t notice Mom listening
until it’s too late. Now I’m about to get it.
“Jaxon Michael Coleman! You better not wake those girls up.
They didn’t get in until late and need their sleep.” It’s too late because
Cohen is already running to his target, ready to work his magic.
I just look at Mom while smiling and walk toward her to fix a cup
of coffee.“Morning, Mom,” I say and kiss her cheek. I go to steal a
piece of bacon, but she smacks my hand with a spoon. “Ow, woman!”
It didn’t really hurt but I act like it did, and she laughs...until she hears
Jazz scream.
“Jaxon!”
Jazz comes down with Cohen on her hip, scowling at
me. “Are you crazy? It’s
seven
in the flippin’ morning, not even four
hours since we went to sleep.” She puts Cohen down but he
immediately runs back the way they just came from. He’s persistent,
I’ll give him that.
“He missed you, Jazz, and wanted to see you,” I say innocently
and start toward the stairs with Jazz on my heels.“You see what you
did? You let Casanova loose and now he’s going to bother Trudy.”
“Who’s Trudy?” McKenzie rolls out of her room looking as
beautiful as always. He ebony hair is in a pony tail, and her golden
eyes are still sleepy. I wink at her and she smiles wide and gives an
exaggerated wink in return.
“She’s my new best friend, and Jax here sent Cohen to wake us
up.” She shoves past me and runs up the stairs. I can hear Co laughing
as we get closer to Jazz’s bedroom door.
“Where did Cohen go?” I can hear Tru’s voice as she laughs.
Man, I love her laugh.
Jazz opens the door and steps inside, apologizing. “I’m so sorry,
Tru.”
I walk in and forget our audience because Tru is standing there
with a beautiful smile on her face, sexy, sleepy eyes that are still glassy
from just waking up, and long, dark, curly hair going every direction.
She is so beautiful in her red pajama pants and black tank top that all I
can do is watch her while she tickles Cohen causing them both to
laugh.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind cute little boys jumping on me early in
the morning.”
I’d love to jump on her early in the morning
. She’s still
laughing and tickling him but stops when she looks where I’m
standing and immediately starts to fidget.
I run my fingers through my hair, never taking my eyes off her. I
like knowing I make her nervous because that means I affect her. “The
birthday boy heard a pretty girl was upstairs, and he had to check out
the goods,” I say and scratch the back of my neck to keep my hand
from reaching out and grabbing her so I can give her a morning kiss.
“You vewy pwetty, Twudy,” Cohen says, gazing at her in
adoration. I’m sure I have a similar look on my face.
“Thank you sweetheart. You’re not so bad yourself.” She bends
down to kneel in front of him and whispers something in his ear. His
face lights up and he takes off downstairs.
“What was that about?” Jazz asks before I can and lies back down
on her bed and snuggles with a pillow.
“I just told him I have his birthday present and as soon as I get
dressed, I’ll give it to him.”
She got him a birthday present and she’s
never met him before today? This girl is amazing.
”You really didn’t have to, you know? He has everything and
wants for nothing, but thank you, Tru.” I watch her bite her lip and
clear my throat. “So we building some sand castles today or what?”
“God, yeah! I can’t wait to hit the beach for my tan. It’s really
faded the few short weeks since school started.” Jazz grabs the blanket
and pulls it over her head.
“Sorry to interrupt but I want to meet my future daughter-in-law.”
My eyes get huge and I look at Trudy who looks just as shocked.
“W...what?” I ask clearing my throat.
“Well it seems that Mia is old news, and Trudy is to marry your
brother instead.” She laughs and I relax.
“Aww, that’s sweet.” Trudy beams and then becomes panicked.
She nervously tries to smooth down her hair. “Goodness, I look like
death. I’m so sorry. I really wanted to make a better first impression.”
She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves, and I can’t help my eyes
from watching her chest rise with it and how the black shirt hugs her
tits. “I’m Trudy Love. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Coleman, and thank
you for letting me stay here this weekend.” Her hand shakes as she
reaches out to shake my mom’s hand.
“I’m Clara Coleman, but please call me Mom. It’s the only name I
answer to these days.” Mom, being her loving self, takes Trudy’s hand
and pushes it down then grabs her into a hug. That’s my mom though.
She loves to hug.
“I’m going to go get ready for the beach,” I say and head down
the hall to take a breather. After a quick, cold shower I’m ready for
some sun. I left my shirt off and just have on my swim shorts.
When I come down I see Drew is sitting with David at the table
talking about sports. For some reason my little brother is obsessed with
the Crimson Tide while David and I are die-hard Gator fans. Their
conversations always consist of bickering about Saturday’s
games.“You coming to the beach with us until the party?” I ask my
Drew as he finishes his breakfast.
“I might meet you down there. I have to pick up this girl I’m
seeing then we’ll head over.” He might be young but he’s full of
confidence. I guess that’s something all of us Colemans have thanks to
our encouraging parents.
“So who is she?” David asks this with his mouth full. My mom
walks in on the phone. He waves at her and says loudly, “Hey, Mom.”
She comes over and gives him a kiss on his forehead then
continues her conversation while she walks out onto the deck. Dad was
on call last night, so he won’t be up until later. Holiday weekends are
always crazy at any hospital.
“Her name is Hastings and she’s a year ahead of me at school.”
He pumps his fist with David’s, and I just shake my head. God, I hope
he has more sense than David when it comes to girls.
“That’s right. An older woman equals a
more
experienced
woman.” David takes a gulp of his orange juice and wipes his mouth
with the back of his hand before he burps loudly.
Mom suddenly walks back in. “David! I know I taught you better
than that.” You can see her eyes light up with laughter even though her
mouth is in a thin line.
“Sorry, Mom.” He winks at her and she finally laughs before
walking out of the room. “So how did you meet this older chick?”
Returning his attention back to Drew, he relaxes in his chair.
“We have a lot of the same friends and hang out together. We just
hit it off. You know? Plus she has a really nice rack.” He emphasizes
with his hands in front of his chest, and we all burst into laughter.
After a minute we finally calm down enough to finish our
conversation.“Cool, man. We’ll be hitting some waves if they look
decent, but Trudy and Jazz will be on the sand if we’re not.” I look at
my watch and decide to load up the boards. David joins me in the
garage, and we head back inside once we’re done. I hear the girls
coming down the stairs.
Trudy looks amazing with her hair pulled up, and she’s wearing a
white cover up over her swimsuit, hiding everything except the green
straps behind her neck. Her flip flops look old and worn, but her toes
are bright pink and freshly painted. She doesn’t have any makeup on,
but she’s still beautiful with her glossy lips and tiny freckles on the
bridge of her nose. Cohen runs and jumps in Trudy’s arms, and they
both laugh. She looks so natural carrying a child on her hip, and I
visualize her carrying our baby.
What the hell?
I shake that crazy
thought away.
“Twudy, I’m weady fow my pwesent now,” Cohen says, grinning
at her.
“I have to get it out of my purse, okay?” She sets him down and
walks into the foyer. When she returns she pulls a small wrapped gift
from behind her back and hands it to him.
After he rips it open, he jumps up and down, smiling, and runs to
my mom, who is standing beside me. Mommy, wook what Twudy gots
me fow my buthday.”
He hands it to Mom, and I look over at his gift. It’s the most
perfect gift for him, and I’m amazed at her once again. It’s a Florida
driver’s license with all his information and a recent picture of him. He
has his very own driver’s license, which is exactly what he wanted.
“Wow, that’s awesome, man. Now we just have to get you some
wheels.” I turn and smile at Trudy, but she’s not paying any attention
to me. Her eyes are glued to Cohen and hold a slight sadness, but she
quickly looks up and sees me watching, so she clears her features.
“Well, sweet man, we really need to go if we want to be back for
your party,” Jazz says as she gives Mom, Cohen, and McKenzie a kiss
goodbye. “You sure you don’t want to go, Kenzie?”
“No thanks. Samantha’s coming over soon to stay the night. Mom
says I
have
to finish cleaning my room before she gets here.”
McKenzie has never been treated differently because she’s in a
wheelchair, and she’s very independent.
“Okay, girl. See you later.” Jazz leads Tru to her car and they
lower the top as they pull away.
“That was one awesome gift she bought for Co. What do you
think?” David jumps in my Jeep and pulls on his aviators while I do
the same.
“Yeah, it was.” I clear my throat before we head toward the beach.
The ocean air gives me a sense of peace and a dose of confidence,
so I tell David how I feel.“I really like her, man, but I don’t want to
freak her out and come on too strong. It’s hard to see her and not touch
her though.”
He just nods his head, and we drive the rest of the way in silence.
He might give advice, but he knows me well enough to know I’ll just
do what I want anyway. Fuck the consequences.
As we park beside Jazz’s car, I look toward the water and see Tru
standing at the edge with her face tilted up at the sky. She smiles as the
water reaches her feet and the wind blows against her. I see the way
her cover up molds to the front of her body and my dick instantly stirs
from the view of her full breasts to her flat stomach and long, tanned
legs.
David interrupts my thoughts. “I can see you like her, man, but
maybe you should just go for it. I know I would. Especially if it was
turning me into a pussy,” he says with a laugh and grabs his board
from the Jeep.
I smile thinking the same thing and grab my board as well. I walk
toward Jazz, who’s is already lying out. She lifts her glasses when I
walk up, but after she sees it’s me, she goes back to baking and
ignoring everything around her.
“I’ll be right back,” I say. I stand my board in the sand and walk
over to Tru, who’s still standing in the same position. I look at the sky
and see some clouds in the distance, but hopefully we’ll be done for
the day before the rain comes. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I ask when I
reach her side.
She breathes in and says softly, “Yes.” Turning around, she looks
up at me, and I know I could drown in her eyes and die happy. I watch
as her face lights up, and that look alone warms me more than the sun.
“I can’t believe I’m here.” She throws her arms out to encompass our
surroundings. “It feels like it’s a dream. A year ago I’d never even
imagined feeling the ocean breeze or standing with my feet in the
water.”
“Where were you a year ago?” I have to ask because I want—
no
need—
to know all there is about her.
“Atlanta. Not happy like I am now.” She’s still looking at me, and
I want to believe she’s talking about more than standing with her feet
in the blue ocean water. I want to believe she is talking about being
next to me, but I don’t want to assume the wrong thing.
I clear my throat, looking down quickly, and change the subject.
Baby steps,
I tell myself. “Tru, I need to tell you...that gift you had
made for Cohen was perfect. He’s been talking about getting a license
for a while, so I don’t think anything he receives today will top that.
Can I ask you how you knew what to get him?”
She looks embarrassed and stares down at her small hands that are
clasped together in front of her. “Well, I really didn’t have any idea
what to get him at first, until our talk the other night when you took me
back to the dorm.” She looks up and gives me a small smile. The wind
has blown her hair loose, and pieces fall in her face.
“So, I had an idea that wouldn’t cost much and would be different.
I talked to Jazz and she gave me a picture of him. Then I went to talk
with your friend Mason one morning. Since he did an awesome job on
Jazz’s fake ID, I knew he could do one for Cohen.” She shrugs her
shoulder and says, “It’s not much, but I’m happy he likes it.”
I have to touch her, so I reach out and tuck a stray hair behind her
right ear and her eyes widen from surprise. “You’re an amazing
person, Tru, and you really didn’t have to get him anything, but I know
he’s happy you did.” My hand stays on her warm cheek as we stand
there for what feels like eternity, but I know it’s only a few seconds.
Our moment is interrupted by David coming up and slapping my
shoulder. “Let’s hit the water before the storm comes.” He runs past us
and I face Tru again.
“Want to learn to surf?” I really don’t want this moment to end,
anything to prolong being next to her.
“No thanks. I don’t know how to swim very well, and I’m sure
that’s a major part of the whole surfing thing. You go and have fun.”
She turns and starts walking toward my sister.
I follow and grab my board then head out toward the water. I turn
before I get wet and yell in her direction, “Tru, don’t forget we’re
going to build our castle when I get done. Okay?”
She laughs and yells, “Okay, but it better be the best castle ever.
You promised me mad skills, and I’m holding you to it.”
I start paddling toward David, who’s sitting on his board waiting. I
grin while thinking of how I’d build her as many damn castles as she
wanted as long as it keeps her smiling like that.