Letting Go (3 page)

Suddenly, years later, Laura’s life was shattered. On the morning after their tenth anniversary, Alex was killed in an accident. Laura’s other friends were a great comfort to her, but Jude really helped Laura hang onto the threads of her life. For the first two difficult years, before Debbie came along, Laura doubted she would have made it through without Jude’s loving, supportive friendship.

Seated comfortably, eating focaccia, Laura unraveled the events of the previous night.

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Jude nearly choked on her mouthful of food. “She was screwing her boss? I didn’t hear that little detail on the grapevine! I always thought she was an opportunistic little bitch, but I wouldn’t have thought even she would sink to that.”

“Yeah well, I don’t imagine she’ll be broadcasting that information too widely,” said Laura. She took a drink of iced water. “To tell you the truth, Jude, I’m already feeling like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders.”

Jude sat with her elbows on the table contemplating the situation. Her head was tilted slightly and she was tugging gently on her earlobe as she always did when she was thinking. “You know, darl, I’m glad you finally decided to bring things to a head with her. You’ve been unhappy for months and it really was time you moved on.”

Laura nodded. “Yes. I should have done it a year ago, but I lacked the courage, I suppose. But even now, I can’t help thinking back to when things were good between us and wishing I could wind back the clock.” She lit a cigarette and fidgeted with her gold lighter. “But you’re right, it’s time I moved on. It’ll be strange though living alone again.”

Jude’s eyes twinkled as she smiled. “You’re a free woman now. You can start to enjoy yourself again.” It was getting late. Jude stretched and looked at her watch. “I’m going to have to call it a night, darl.”

“I’m feeling pretty exhausted, but I think I’ll hang around here a little while longer,” said Laura. “I want to make sure I don’t run into Debbie at home. She’ll be moving out her stuff tonight.”

They said goodnight, and after Jude had left, Laura moved back down to the bar. She was feeling decidedly mellow, wanting another drink. Settling back on her bar 21

stool, vodka and tonic in hand, she surveyed the room. Being a Friday night, the place was becoming crowded. The music had been turned up and the animated conversation and laughter were creating quite a din.

Lost in her thoughts, Laura jumped slightly when she suddenly felt a hand touch her softly on the shoulder. She turned and looked up at the smiling face of Kelly Johannson.

“I just heard that you and Debbie have split up. Are you okay?” Kelly pulled up another stool and sat beside Laura. Laura smiled. “News travels fast around this town, doesn’t it. I’m okay, thanks.”

Kelly grinned. “And you’re out cruising the bars already.”

Laughing, Laura replied, “Hardly that. I should be going home actually. I’ve had a big day.”

“At least let me buy you another drink before you go,”

Kelly said in her low purring voice.

Laura hesitated for a moment, looking at Kelly. Kelly’s green eyes were compelling and they held her gaze. In a confident gesture, she ran her hand through her short blonde hair. Laura liked the way it looked slightly tousled. Her smile was beguiling.

“Yes?” Kelly asked.

Smiling too, Laura said, “Yes. Why not.” Laura had first met Kelly a couple of years ago at a party. She noticed the tall athletic-looking woman watching her, smiling, for some time, before Kelly took the opportunity to come and introduce herself when Laura was alone. Laura was quite charmed by Kelly’s confident, easy manner, and aware of her palpable sex appeal. Kelly overtly flirted with her and suggested they go out together. Laura politely refused, explaining that she was in a relationship with Debbie. But that didn’t seem to dampen Kelly’s interest, and whenever 22

they bumped into one another around town after that, Kelly continued to flirt with her. She had never seemed at all bothered by Laura’s relationship status, and cheekily asked her out on dates.

Since she first met Kelly, others had told her of Kelly’s reputation as a philanderer. Never having been in a serious relationship, Kelly was often spoken of disparagingly by some as a “love ’em” and leave type.

As they talked comfortably over the next half hour or so, Laura found herself enjoying Kelly’s company and flirtatious attention. She reminded herself that now she was single and, as Jude said, it was time she had some fun. Feeling the accumulated effects of the day’s drinking, and last night’s lack of sleep, Laura decided it was time to leave.

“Maybe we could get together for a drink some tine again soon, or perhaps dinner,” Kelly said.

“That would be nice,” Laura said with a smile. She stood up to leave and suddenly felt slightly dizzy. She stumbled and put her hand to her head. In an instant Kelly’s strong arms were around her, holding her securely. Somewhere inside Laura’s hazy mind, she was aware that Kelly’s arms around her felt good. Kelly’s lips brushed her cheek, and she felt a sensation that she hadn’t felt in months—the first stirring of desire. She remained in Kelly’s embrace for longer than was necessary before she drew away.

She politely refused Kelly’s offer to drive her home and, just managing a dignified exit, hailed a cab and went home. It was eleven-thirty when Laura entered her darkened apartment. To her great relief there was no sign of Debbie, and a quick look around revealed that Debbie had taken 23

her things. She was gone. Laura glanced across at the still unmade bed that Debbie had slept in last night. Her pillow was crumpled in that particular way, from Debbie hugging it in her sleep.

The memories of better times and the impact of the end of the relationship hit her again. The tears welled and trickled down her cheeks.

She stripped the bed and remade it with clean white cotton damask sheets, then had a long hot shower. She thought that she’d better take things quietly for a couple of weeks. She’d found herself feeling very attracted to Kelly Johannson tonight, and she really ought to get her head together before she thought about dating anyone again. She had a lot of adjustments to make to her life. She must remember to pick up her car from the office tomorrow, she thought as she climbed into bed. Within minutes, she was fast asleep.

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Chapter Four

It was Wednesday, nearly two weeks since Debbie had left, and Laura was having dinner with her friends Jude, Megan and Vicki, at Sisters cafe.

“So how are you finding life without Debbie?” asked Megan.

“Well, I’m still getting used to her not being there,”

said Laura. “It’s silly things you notice the most, like the mornings, without the mad scramble getting ready for work, sharing the bathroom and bumping into each other in the kitchen. And I take longer to fall asleep without her in the bed. It feels odd. You get used to things.” She looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her ring. “And her perfume. I only thought this morning as I was dressing, that the smell of her perfume has completely disappeared.” Laura looked 25

up and smiled. “Silly, isn’t it.”

“Well I’m glad it’s at last all over,” said Vicki, “You had your suspicions for a long time, and it was driving you crazy. I can’t believe that she was screwing a guy though. It’s incredible.”

Just then, they were interrupted by the arrival of Kelly Johannson. She’d noticed Laura at the table, as she was heading for the bar to meet her friends.

“Hi,” she said to them all, then smiled warmly at Laura.

“How are you, Laura? I think it’s time I called you about that dinner you promised to have with me.

“Yes, okay,” said Laura. “Ring me next week if you like.”

“See you later then,” said Kelly, sliding her hands into her jeans pockets and casually striding away.

Laura laughed at the surprised expressions on the faces of her friends. “What’s the matter with you?” she asked them all.

“Kelly Johannson?” said Jude in an incredulous tone.

“You’re going out with her?”

“You’ve gotten over Debbie pretty quickly, I see,” said Megan with a grin.

“Well, let’s be honest,” said Laura firmly, pausing to light Megan’s cigarette and one for herself. “Of course I’m hurt about Debbie’s behavior, but mostly I feel humiliated. I stopped loving Debbie a long time ago and I’m certainly not going to pretend I’m broken-hearted.”

“We all know that, darl,” said Jude. “But you don’t want to go out with the likes of Kelly Johannson!”

With a laugh, Laura said, “Well, I think I do as a matter of fact.”

“Yeah, why not, Jude,” said Vicki. “Laura should get out and about again as a single woman and have some fun. And 26

Kelly’s an attractive woman.”

“And Kelly’s had her eye on you for ages, hasn’t she, Laura? I’ve seen her chatting you up before,” said Megan. Jude tugged on her earlobe, considering their comments.

“Laura can do a lot better than Kelly. She’s bloody arrogant, and she screws around.”

Vicki nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, and she’s attractive.”

Everyone except Jude burst into laughter. “Well I know of women who’ve been really hurt by her, and I don’t like her at all,” said Jude defensively.

Smiling at Jude’s motherly concern for her, Laura said, “Jude, I’ve agreed to have dinner with the woman, for Christ’s sake, not marry her. And just because Kelly apparently avoids serious relationships doesn’t make her a bad person. I think she’s attractive too and from the few conversations I’ve had with her, she seems like a lot of fun.”

Laura didn’t add that as she’d looked into Kelly’s eyes earlier, her heart had skipped a beat. When they’d met a week ago, Kelly’s behavior made it clear she wanted Laura, and she hadn’t disguised her desire tonight as she’d looked candidly into Laura’s eyes.

As the conversation turned to other matters, Laura thought that if an uncomplicated fling with Kelly was in the cards, she wouldn’t mind that one bit.

One day the following week, Laura was sitting in her office around nine-thirty in the morning surveying an empty diary. They’d got the new Pasta Masta campaign out last week in a mad rush and things for now under control. Tony was going to be out for most of the day, drumming up new business.

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She could spend the day usefully finding an experienced assistant without green hair, she thought, who doesn’t chew gum all day long. But, she had to admit that despite the alarming pink bubbles regularly emerging from her mouth, Jodie was doing a good job. She arrived on time each day, and although she lacked experience, she only had to be shown how to do new tasks once. She was still a bit slow on the word processor doing letters and things, but she got them done and she was improving. She’d also proven to be reliable taking messages and looking after things when Laura and Tony were out. As if to reinforce these positive thoughts, there was a knock at her door and, accompanied by a loud bubble-bursting
snap
, Jodie entered holding a cup of coffee.

“I was just making some, and I thought you’d like a cup,”

she said brightly.

“Thanks, Jodie,” said Laura in surprise. Okay, she decided as Jodie left the room, she’d give her a go for a bit longer. She’d just talk to her about the gum.

She was wondering whether she could go shopping instead, when she suddenly remembered her promise to take Kate Merlo to lunch. She reached for the phone. Today was the perfect opportunity, if Kate was free. When Kate hung up the phone, her heart was fluttering as she considered she was about to have the closest thing to a date that she could have dreamed of, with the woman she adored. Laura had asked her if she liked Japanese food, suggesting a restaurant across town. Kate said that sounded great but confessed, feeling conscious of her inexperience, that she’d never tried Japanese food before. In her warm 28

smiling voice, Laura had reassured her that it would be all the better if she hadn’t tried it before. It would be an adventure.

Laura paused in her reading of the wine list and looked across the table at Kate. She was studying the menu with great interest. Her hair was braided today, and she had pulled the plait over one shoulder, twirling the end of it in her fingers. She was softly biting her lower lip in concentration.

“Do you have to hurry back to work today?” asked Laura.

Kate looked up at her. “No, it’s a quiet day. I’ve given them the number of the restaurant, so they can call if they need me.”

“Good,” said Laura with a smile. “We can order some saki then. You’ve got to try that. I thought I’d order us both a glass of Chardonnay to start with. Does that sound all right?”

“Yes, fine,” said Kate, smiling. She held Laura’s gaze with her usual unsettling directness.

Glancing down at the menu in Kate’s hand, Laura asked,

“Is there anything there that appeals to you?”

“It all sounds great, but I think you’d better order,” said Kate with a grin, handing the menu across to Laura. Laura laughed. “Okay, I’ll order a selection of entrees. I think that’s the best way to enjoy Japanese food.”

Soon the dishes began to arrive. “These little fried dumplings are called Gyoza,” Laura explained. “You should mix a tiny bit of that Wasabi paste into the dipping sauce. But be careful with it. It’s hot.”

“Oh, and California rolls,” said Kate enthusiastically, 29

helping herself to some. “I’ve had these before. I love them.”

The flasks of warm saki arrived, and Laura poured some into Kate’s tiny cup. “You have to pour mine now,” she said.

“It’s considered either rude or bad luck to pour your own saki. I can’t remember which.”

Kate laughed. “Okay,” she said, filling Laura’s cup. Laura savored a piece of sashimi and looked at Kate. She was obviously enjoying this experience and Laura found herself taking delight in introducing it all to her. They talked about all manner of things as the lunch progressed, and Laura discovered Kate was interesting and good company.

“So, you mentioned you paint in your spare time,” said Laura. “What sort of painting do you do?”

“Well, I studied fine art at college, as well as graphic art,” Kate said, running her plait through her fingers. “I like working with acrylics on canvas. I paint lots of different subjects, but I’m really getting into landscapes at the moment. My style is surreal, though. I’m more interested in portraying moods and engendering emotions than creating reproductions of things.”