Letting Go (8 page)

This was a whole new experience for Kate. Her previous unsatisfactory experiences with a man hadn’t 70

included this kind of sensual intimacy, and she’d never in all of her fantasies about women, particularly about Laura, ever imagined it could feel like this. She was floating above herself, her whole body seemed to be filled with honey, and only her hips moved slightly in rhythm with Laura’s strokes. When Laura entered her at the same time, Kate suddenly felt her stomach muscles tighten, and her whole being became a concentration of sensuality. A few moments later, she was overtaken by the powerful moment, and her body convulsed in ecstasy.

Kate was trembling, breathless. Laura kissed her face and her closed eyes with such gentleness that it nearly made her cry. Kate reached out her hand to her. “Laura...” It was all she could manage to say, and she looked at Laura in wonder. Laura took her hand and kissed it.

It wasn’t long before Kate wanted Laura again. She felt even greater desire, increased by her heightened sensuality. All her earlier hesitancy was gone now, and sitting up, she confidently pressed Laura onto her back. She knew what to do. She kissed Laura’s mouth passionately, tasting herself on Laura’s lips. She moved her lips and tongue against Laura’s mouth in the way she’d felt Laura’s mouth on her, between her thighs. It was teasing and erotic, and Laura groaned in sweet lustful agony as she pulled Kate onto her, holding Kate’s hips and pressing herself into her.

“I want to make you feel as wonderful as you made me feel,” said Kate. “I want to make you happy.”

“Oh God, you already have, baby,” Laura breathed. She seemed close to orgasm, and she took Kate’s hand, placing it where her need was urgent. Kate was entranced with Laura’s incredible wetness, and she moved her fingers carefully, learning from Laura’s responses how to give her 71

what she wanted. She looked down into Laura’s beautiful face. Her eyes were closed, her moist lips parted, her skin flushed and misted with a light dew of perspiration, and Kate eperienced in an enlightening moment, a new sense of empowerment from being able to give such pleasure and happiness to her.

Laura saw Kate lower her mouth to her breast. She teased her nipple with her tongue then sucked it firmly. Laura’s hips suddenly thrust upwards as she was overtaken by the powerful force of an orgasm that left her shaking and gasping for breath. While the tremors were still pumping through her, she felt Kate’s hair brush across her stomach, then the melting warmth of Kate’s mouth between her thighs, her tongue sending new currents of pleasure coursing through every inch of her. Laura felt her body dissolve, and her mind was a helpless blur as again she came. This time it was even greater than before. She hadn’t felt like this for many years. Not since Alexandra. She lay there trembling as Kate came to her and nestled her face into her neck. She was dimly aware that what she was feeling for Kate was a awful lot like love. She blinked back the tears that threatened to flow, and held Kate tightly against her.

“You taste wonderful,” Kate murmured in her ear, her hand already reaching down along Laura’s body, exploring, wanting more.

Laura couldn’t say anything for a while, and she lay still just stroking Kate’s hair. Soon though, Kate’s sensual touching, and the warmth of Kate’s body in her arms, had Laura wanting her again. Looking into Kate’s eyes, she said 72

with a smile, “And you said you didn’t know what to do.”

They made love for hours. For a long time it was sensitive as they explored each other, but later it became more passionate, urgent and emotional. Kate was insatiable, and Laura was totally enraptured with her. Eventually, in the early hours, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted and contented.

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Chapter Eight

Laura woke late the next morning. She looked into Kate’s peaceful sleeping face, and her body responded instantly to the sensual images that at once filled her mind. She was also aware of an overwhelming sentimentality, and she resisted the urge to lean across and kiss Kate’s closed eyes. Carefully, without disturbing her, she moved a thick lock of shining hair back from Kate’s face. She’d untied Kate’s braided hair during the night, and it was now spread out across the pillow, brushing Laura’s shoulder. As she looked at her, Laura realized just how dangerous her feelings for Kate, were. Last night, she’d felt completely out of control. She’d known for weeks that if she allowed things to progress to this point, she’d be in danger of falling in love with Kate. This was everything she’d tried to avoid. 75

Her fears for the future were unchanged, but in spite of them, she felt a glow of happiness.

If I’m sensible, I can prevent this from going too far,
she decided,
then neither of us will be hurt.
Kate stirred but remained asleep. Laura slipped quietly out of bed and had a shower.

When she emerged a short time later, Kate was awake and as soon as she saw Laura, she smiled and extended her arms. “Come here,” she demanded seductively.

Laura looked at Kate’s beautiful body against the white sheets and couldn’t resist her. She dropped her towel on the floor. She lowered herself on top of her and sighed with pleasure as all of her body at once made contact with Kate’s skin. Kate’s hand immediately moved down to the hair above Laura’s thighs, still damp from the shower. Her fingers moved swiftly to the warm, already wet place aching for her touch and were soon gliding inside her. Laura moaned with pleasure and began kissing Kate’s neck, face and mouth. She couldn’t get enough of this girl. With one hand she reached down across Kate’s firm stomach and found Kate’s thighs were apart, waiting for her. She teased and stroked Kate’s silky wetness, entered her, then stroked her again. They moved against each other’s hands in perfect rhythm, slowly at first, but with increasing urgency until, in a rapturous moment, they came. Laura collapsed beside Kate, and they lay like this with their hearts pounding in unison and their arms wrapped tightly around each other. Soon Kate was kissing Laura’s shoulder with sexy little nibbles and whispering her desire for more. With great difficulty, Laura removed herself from Kate’s arms, kissed her, and implored her to stop tempting her.

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“Please, darling,” Laura said. “I’ve got to meet my friend Jude at the market this morning. She’ll be looking for me in about half an hour.”

Kate just looked back at her with her liquid brown eyes, unfocused with desire. “Stay a bit longer, I’m aching for you…please…” she begged.

“Oh God!” Laura groaned, as she felt her desire building again. She got off the bed and picked up her towel from the floor. “Kate, you’ve got to help me,” she said with a smile.

“Get out of that bed, put on my robe so I can’t look at your gorgeous body anymore, and make us some coffee. I’ve got to get ready to go.” Without waiting for Kate’s response, Laura disappeared into the dressing room.

The aroma of fresh coffee was tantalizing. Laura came down the stairs and found Kate in the kitchen pouring coffee and making toast.

“Thanks, just what I need,” Laura said, as she accepted the cup of coffee Kate offered.

“You don’t mind my making toast, do you?” asked Kate.

“I thought you might be hungry”

“Of course not.” Laura smiled. “I’d better eat something. Thanks.”

As Kate turned away to take out the toast, Laura’s gaze wandered all over her shapely body, showing clearly through Laura’s silk robe. She really was lovely, and it was hard to resist putting down the coffee and taking Kate in her arms again.

Impulsively she asked, “Do you want to come with me? You’ll have to hurry, though.”

“I’d like to,” Kate replied, looking disappointed, “but I 77

promised to meet Mum for lunch and go shopping.”

Laura finished her coffee and gathered up her wallet and keys. She thought Kate looked a little uneasy, as if unsure where things would go from here. “Are you free tonight?”

she asked.

Kate looked up at Laura with an expression of great relief. “Are you kidding?”

Laura gave her a smile. “Well, why don’t you come back here at around seven and I’ll take you somewhere special for dinner.”

Kate wrapped her arms around Laura. “We don’t have to go anywhere,” she breathed against Laura’s neck. “We could stay here all night and just make love. We could make an earlier start than last night.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Laura said, “but I think it’d be nice to go out to dinner first, don’t you?” Then she kissed Kate on the mouth. Kate began to run her hands provocatively down Laura’s body, and Laura had to force herself to move out of Kate’s embrace. “I’ve really got to go…Jude will be wondering where I am. I’ll see you tonight.” Laura stroked Kate’s face with her fingertips and gave her one last quick kiss before she left.

* * *

An hour or so later, Kate was ready to leave Laura’s apartment. She locked the door as she’d been asked, and was just about to push the keys under the door when she changed her mind. The keys in her hand felt like more than just keys to a door. They were keys to Laura’s life. They gave her a sense of security. A sense of a future with Laura. 78

Giving up the keys would place her back in the tenuous position she was in before last night. She didn’t have any dishonest intentions, she told herself as she slipped the keys into her jacket pocket. Feeling them there gave her a connection to Laura, and they were a tangible reminder that everything that had taken place between them was real and not just a dream.

“Well, it’s happened,” said Laura. Jude waited, looking at her. “Kate just turned up at my place last night and, well, all my resolve just went out the window. I lost control with her.”It was a bright, warm day, and Jude and Laura were sitting at a table in the sunshine, on the sidewalk outside the market cafe. The street was filled with people shopping, and the outdoor tables were packed with people talking and laughing animatedly. In the background, the market vendors were loudly competing with each other, their rough voices singing out discount prices for their produce, tempting buyers to empty their stalls before they picked up for the weekend.

Laura felt oddly disoriented. Slightly overwhelmed, she was aware of a sense of fulfillment, and happiness. The kind of feelings she always associated with Alex. But her obvious lack of emotional control in this situation with Kate made her uneasy. She’d trained herself over the past five years to give and take, but only so much. She’d managed to keep a tight rein on her heart, as protection, but with Kate she could feel herself breaking free, running wild. She lit a cigarette and gave Jude a wan resigned smile.

Jude returned her smile warmly, pulling on her earlobe. 79

“I think it sounds very romantic. So how do you feel about her now?”

Laura looked away and gazed unseeing in the direction of a busker sitting on a wooden fruit box playing a poor rendition of a Bob Dylan song. She twisted the ring around on her finger. After a long pause, she sighed. “I’m scared to death, Jude.”

The waiter arrived then and placed before them steaming glasses of café latté.

Jude tried to reassure her. “I can understand why you don’t want to rush into anything, Laura, but I don’t really know why you’re so scared. Maybe Kate is your second chance.”

Laura looked up sharply. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that maybe with Kate you could again have the kind of relationship you had with Alex,” Jude replied. Laura shook her head dismissively. “That’s impossible,”

she said firmly. Any comparison with her love for Alexandra was unacceptable for Laura. It was already bad enough that she could see so much in Kate that reminded her of Alex.

“Do you think that perhaps you might feel guilty about falling in love with someone else?” Jude asked sensitively.

“I mean, maybe the idea makes you feel like you’re being unfaithful to Alex somehow, unfaithful to her memory.”

This was something that hadn’t entered Laura’s head, and the concept made her uncomfortable. She drew on her cigarette and fiddled with the teaspoon in her saucer. She responded in a vague tone, “That’d be ridiculous…it’s five years since she died.”

Jude shrugged. “Well, I think you should go with the flow. And stop bloody seeing Kelly Johannson, for God’s sake!” Jude sipped her coffee, then added, “I’d like to meet 80

Kate. She must be quite something to have got to you like this.”

Laura sighed and smiled. “She is quite something, I assure you, and we’ll all go out together soon. But Jude, you’re forgetting about the age thing. She’s too young for me. Any relationship is doomed to fail. Can’t you see that?”

“I still say that’s not an important issue, darl.”

After a few minutes, Jude asked, “So what are you planning to do?”

Laura sipped her coffee. “Well, I can tell you one thing I’m definitely not going to do,” she began emphatically.

“I’m not going to allow my life to revolve around Kate. I don’t want to find myself wondering all the time where she is and what she’s doing. I’m not going to wait desperately for the phone to ring, or any of that stuff.” She paused while she considered what she was about to say. “I’m still attracted to Kelly, and I feel comfortable with the freedom of that relationship, such as it is. Kelly and I are a pleasant diversion for each other, and I need that right now.”

Jude looked appalled. “Do you really think that screwing Kelly will stop you thinking about Kate?” she asked incredulously.

Laura was amused at her shocked expression. “You don’t know Kelly,” she said with a grin.

Jude looked away contemptuously. “What about Kate? How do you think she’ll feel about that?”

“She knows about Kelly; she saw me with her,” Laura replied. “But if I know Kate, she won’t ask about her again. Maybe she’ll assume I won’t see her again…I don’t really know. But quite frankly, Jude, it isn’t any of Kate’s business, is it?” Laura was having as much trouble convincing herself of all this as she was convincing Jude. But Kelly was a safety 81

net, and she planned to hang onto it.

Jude sighed in resignation. “I hope I’m wrong, Laura, but this sounds like a recipe for disaster. If you don’t end up getting hurt by all this, Kate almost certainly will.”