Chapter 8
Lily
More times than I could remember, I’d lie in my bed and fantasize about Zain rushing in and sweeping me away. We’d go to some exotic island and live out the rest of our days making love under the stars. Nothing else would exist but us.
In reality, a life like that could never happen. His family would come looking for him. Slade, for me. The two wouldn’t stop until they hunted us down. When they did, the repercussions would be unthinkable. And even if we could bypass that, even
if
somehow my Master was able to put an end to the evil tied to him, we still had my brother to deal with. Sure, I could do the unthinkable and disown him, but I loved Slade. He’d done more for me out of love and devotion than anyone ever had. He raised me.
For me and Zain to work, Slade would have to give his blessing and allow us to be together. I knew my brother. There was no way in hell he’d even allow Zain to continue to breathe air if he knew who he was, let alone become something as close as a boyfriend or husband. It would never work. The best I could do was make my Master hate me. Make him change his mind and release me. That way he could move on with his life.
Why did that break my heart? Because I loved him more than what was comprehensible. A person shouldn't be allowed to feel so much emotion for another. It had the capability to destroy. To make one dead inside. Love was nothing more than a gun and Zain was the trigger. Bang, bang, baby, blow me away.
Even now, as I stared at him from across the elevator, I could feel that all too familiar feeling of home. Nostalgia. It had sure as fuck done its job of convincing me how great our lives had been. What a crock of shit. We’d spent our days in a constant state of anxiety and the nights disappearing from it. That was, unless the cries dragged me from our room, right into the hands of a broken or dying slave.
“Zain.”
His eyes flickered before narrowing, making my pulse jump.
“Try again, slave.”
All I could do was shake my head. If I called him Master, I would be accepting he owned me. He couldn’t believe that, regardless of what I knew.
“This really isn’t necessary. Talking isn’t going to accomplish anything.”
He stayed quiet until the doors opened. At the wave of his hand, I eased into the entrance, just outside of his door. It didn’t look much different than my own. A mirror stood off to the side, a table underneath. Flower arrangements rested on other surfaces and pictures randomly hung on the surrounding space.
“You weren’t one for flashing money. Why the penthouse?”
“Let me show you.” Pressure pushed against the small of my back and I trembled from the mix of fear and how close he was. Those hands, they’d shown me both pleasure and the most delicious pain imaginable. I’d spent hours kissing his fingers — my silent appreciation for the power he could wield over me.
The door unlocked and he pushed it open, locking it behind us. Heaviness settled in my legs the deeper we walked into his dark home. When we stopped at the large glass windows, I could clearly see Slade rummaging through my room.
“I was never truly away from you. Let that sink in for just a moment. Although there was only a street separating us, it could have been a million miles away for all the longing I felt while watching what I couldn’t have.”
The brush of his finger down my neck only had me shaking even more. My lids lowered and I could feel my lips part. All I wanted to do was turn and face him. To sink to my knees and give myself to him completely. Oh, what a beautiful torturous dream that would be.
“You still can’t have me,” I barely managed.
His touch left and I’d never felt colder. It took every ounce of strength I possessed not to wheel around and pull him into me.
“Before we start, I want you to call your brother. Tell him you need time to cool off and you’ll be home as soon as you calm down.”
I blinked, battling over whether I should alert my brother or truly spend the last night I’d ever get with my Master. I didn’t want to leave him even though I knew I had to. One night…what could happen in such a short span of time?
“You know the consequence if you even hint that something isn’t right. I’ll take you for good and we’ll disappear. I promise you that.”
I spun around to see him walking back toward me, a phone in hand.
“He’ll be able to trace that. Probably even be able to pick up my location.”
Zain laughed, shaking his head. “No, he won’t. He was able to get through on my last phone, but this is my spare. Our location will be impossible to track. The most he’ll be able to do is call it back. I don’t think even he can do that with this one.”
“Before?”
“That’s not something you need to worry about right now. Call him.”
My stomach twisted. “Won’t it look suspicious, me calling from a phone that’s not traceable?”
“No, it’ll read that you’re calling from a random address somewhere in the city. Mostly motels and businesses. By the time he gets there, he’ll have no idea if you were there or not.”
I blindly nodded, still staring at the phone. Hesitantly, I reached for it and punched in my brother’s number. As I turned and the ring sounded, I watched Slade scramble for his cell, clearly panicked. My heart sank.
“Hello? Lily?”
Swallowing was almost impossible at the lie I was about to tell. “I just wanted to let you know I’m okay and I’m not coming home until I cool off.”
In a swift motion, he ran his fingers through his hair. “Let me come get you. We can talk about this. I’ll back off some. Just…come home.”
Tears filled my eyes. “I can’t. It has to be this way. I’ll be home soon. I love you.” I disconnected, watching his phone bounce on the bed and then over the other side as he lost his temper with frustration. Zain’s arms wrapped around me from behind as my brother collapsed to the mattress, putting his head down, and supporting it with his hands. I’d never seen Slade so upset. Was this how he’d been when I’d been taken the first time? It had to be, but worse. He’d kidnapped Mary to get me back. To hurt him now…
“You did very well. Now, we begin.”
I tried to shrug off his embrace but it only tightened. “Uh-uh, baby. Shh. Just let me hold you. Take it in while you can.”
“No.” I knew what he was implying and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. “We’re not going to be doing much talking, are we?”
One of his arms moved to cover my breasts while the other settled over my cheek, bringing my face to rest against his.
“We’ll be doing a lot of talking. For instance, do you remember the first day we met?” He laughed under his breath. “You were so scared, yet you didn’t back down from me. I spanked your ass and what did you do not two hours later?”
My lids lowered while his fingers caressed down my neck, right over my pulse. “I disobeyed you.” The past came barreling back and I let it. Darkness encompassed me. In Zain’s arms, standing here, in his dark penthouse, I could almost believe we were back in his room.
“You need to take a bath, Lily. Follow me.”
I pushed deeper into the corner of the wall, pulling the blankets up to my chin. All I could do was shake my head. A sigh left his mouth as his hand darted out and pulled me from the safety I had only just begun to feel. A cloth was wrapped around my head and half of my face. I almost pulled it off, but didn’t at his look.
“What did I tell you about listening? Let’s go.”
“No,” I said, pulling back. “I want to stay here.”
“Too bad. You’re filthy. You need to get clean. When was the last time you bathed? I’m guessing it was before you were taken. Am I right?”
He was, but I couldn’t imagine taking my clothes off in such a scary place. I didn’t trust him or anyone else here.
“No, please.” I tried wiggling to break his grasp. With a jerk, he sent me stumbling toward the door. I instantly turned, trying to race back around him to the bed. I knew it was pointless, but I had no other options. To go outside of the room led to horrors I couldn’t even consider. They’d chop off my head. I wasn’t ready to die.
Zain grabbed me around the waist, flinging his door open. As it shut behind him, he placed me back down and gave me a shove back toward the way we came.
“Start walking, slave. If they see you misbehaving, I might not be able to save you. Obey, remember?”
Slow steps carried me to the stairway area and he turned me, pointing to a door beneath them. My legs gave out and silent sobs wracked my body. I was past the point of exhaustion. At his arms sweeping me up, I couldn’t stop myself from turning into his large chest. He’d left me alone up to this point. He hadn’t tried to touch me or hurt me. Would he rape me now?
“Shh. No crying. I’ll stand watch at the door. You’ll have as much privacy as possible.” And he’d stayed true to his word. For a while.
“Yes, you never did listen too well. I can still remember it all so clearly. It took you almost half an hour to undress. When you finally did, it was only because I threatened I was going to do it myself. I was very patient with you. More so than I thought myself capable of. Just the tease of your naked shoulders that night made me realize how much I truly wanted you.”
Light kisses traveled over the expanse leading to my neck. My eyes reopened and I tried to step away, but he held on tighter.
“Don’t.” The word came out more as a moan and I could have cursed myself. It was so obvious that I didn’t want him to stop. Even now, I was leaning back against him. It was as if I had no control over it.
Suction against the side of my throat had my fingers digging into his thighs.
“And the first time I touched you. Do you remember that?”
My ninth day there and what felt like an eternity later. A sound escaped at the memory combined with the increase in his sucking.
“I was sleeping. I woke up to your fingers tracing over my palm. I…hit your hand away.”
“Yes, you did,” he whispered, running his tongue over the mark I knew he’d just placed. “But you didn’t fight for long, did you? Once I pulled you to me and kissed you softly, leisurely…by the third attempt, you were kissing me back. Still, I took it slow with you.” His fingers buried into my hair, pulling back slowly until the pressure was nice and tight. “Have I ever hurt you to where you didn’t enjoy it?”
The need to answer, while addressing him as Master, begged to pour from my mouth. I forced the term back as I tried to hold onto my resolve. “No.”
The jerk against my hair had me gasping and growing even wetter. “Say it, slave. You know you want to.”
“No,” I repeated. “I will not. Never again. I…don’t love you anymore. I’m ready to move on with someone else. Let me go.”
“Wrong,” he growled. “You
do
love me. As for moving on, that’s the biggest lie I think I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth. And the most hurtful. You know the consequences for that, don’t you.” Not a question. My legs pressed together at the tingling it evoked.
The straps from my dress broke as he tugged the silk down under my strapless bra.
“Your body is going to look beautiful covered in my marks. It’s been so long. I’ve dreamed of this so many times. Now, reach forward and put your hands flat on the glass while I unzip your dress. I’m going to start by spanking you until you tell me about Alec. In detail. Then, you’ll be cropped for lying to me.”
“Cropped?” I asked, in disbelief. He’d never gone that far. “No way,” I snapped. “I came here to talk, nothing more. And I’m telling you, this ends now. I don’t love you anymore. We’re finished. Go back home and never come around me again.”
“Oh, slave, such work we have ahead of us. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. You’ll stay right here with me until I make you see what I so clearly do. Even if that takes forever.”
I was spun around with my back pushed against the glass. Zain’s hand locked on to my throat and my own flew up to grasp his wrist. He didn’t apply pressure or choke me, he just held.
“You’re breaking your word?” The last of my sentence was silent. My voice had given out at the clash of emotion. Was I happy that he wasn’t letting me leave in the morning? Afraid? Both? What were his plans for me? Would we return to his father’s?
“I’d never break my word, but this isn’t just anything, Lily. This is our lives, our love, I’m trying to save. You can deny it as much as you want, but I feel what we share.” He stepped in closer, pulling me forward with the hand that was around my throat. “Your heart beats for me.
Thump. Thump
. Right here, under my fingers.” He increased the pressure until I could experience what he spoke. It pulsed throughout my body, slamming prominently in my lips at the lack of oxygen. “You feel that? Every thud that is happening right now is for me. Each beat that is giving you life is a reminder of who it’s making you live for.
Me
, Lilian. Your heart beats only for me.”
All I could do was stare into his eyes. How did he know? Was I so readable that he could see a gone slave when he looked at one? Was his name written in the depths of my connection with him? The one place people spoke of when it concerned the soul? Perhaps, if we were one, like I had always believed, it was obvious to my other half. Too bad what we both wanted couldn’t happen.