“My heart beats for me and if what you say is true about you not allowing me to leave, I have no other choice.”
“Other choice? What are you planning to—?”
Before he could finish, I used the element of surprise to bring my fist flying down as hard as I could at the bend of his elbow. The sudden loosening on my neck gave me the opportunity to lunge to the side, but he had me pinned against the window before I could get any further.
“Ah, your training was good, but not good enough, baby. Now, face forward and take your punishment. You’ll have extra because of this stunt.”
My zipper was ripped down. The dress yanked and fell to my ankles.
Whack!
The first spanking sent fire flaring over my ass. A cry escaped and I pushed my palms into the glass. Another quickly followed and I tried to turn — anything to not submit to him like I truly wanted.
“Forward,” he bit out.
A quick succession of two more had tears rolling down my cheeks.
“You have to stop,” I breathed out, pushing against him. Stop? No, I didn’t want this moment to ever end. It would be all I had left when I returned home.
If
I got to go home.
“I will not. Such pretty lingerie,” he said, changing the subject. “How much did he get to see of it?”
“That’s none of your business,” I sobbed, a moan slipping out as his teeth grazed my neck.
Zain’s hand fitted over my bra, giving my breast a good squeeze. “Answer. Did you take off your dress for him? Show him what I spent months worshipping? Years, even.” The warmth of his fingertips pushed past the black lace and teased over my nipple. At the pinch, I couldn’t stop my gasp. My legs crossed while my pussy begged for attention.
“I didn’t take off my dress. Now, please.” Fighting the lust was unbearable when all I wanted to do was throw myself at him.
“So, he just touched you. Briefly.”
A groan mixed with an internal cry, so full of pain, released and I couldn’t stop it. “Yes, briefly.”
Zain’s face buried further into my neck and moved up into the hair just above my ear. “I’m so disappointed in you, slave. I can’t blame you for wanting to begin to live again, but fuck, it hurts so badly. Can you feel what I do? The pain, here,” he said, moving his hand to rest over my heart. “From the whimpering, I know you can. It hurts you just as much as it hurts me. Let’s stop this agony we’re both in. Submit to me. Love me even more than you used to. We could be so happy together.”
Oh, how I wanted it. It was the words surrounding almost every dream I’d had of him. We’d make love and he’d whisper his devotion to only me.
“Lilian,” he said, lowly.
At my silence, his fingertips lowered, tracing down my stomach and not stopping until the light touch brushed over my slit. Need had me instantly moving forward to apply more pressure against my clit. Stinging on my lip told me I’d bit it too hard, but I couldn’t control myself anymore.
My fingers bent, wanting to claw into the glass. Realization washed over me at seeing I’d kept them there this whole time. God, I was his slave. Even, subconsciously. Where was my fight? My control?
“Spread your legs wider for me, baby.”
And here I was, obeying. Shame made my cheeks burn, yet I opened wider for him.
“Now….breathe.”
Two fingers surged into my pussy and my guttural moan echoed through the large space. Deep they thrust, spreading me wide, sending a slight sting to the one place I’d all but forbidden myself to touch since I’d left him.
“This pussy is mine and gets treated how I deem appropriate, correct?”
I bit my lip even harder to hold in the continuous sounds of pleasure he was evoking.
“Answer. Am I correct?”
“Yes,” I said, rushing, only to correct myself. “No. We can’t keep doing this.”
“Wrong. And for your refusal to acknowledge the truth, I believe my pussy will have to face the consequences.”
A slap over my clit left me lurching forward toward the glass. My bedroom light was off now. Almost all the lights were, but I barely cared to look as his fingers rubbed circles over the top of my slit. Fast. Rough.
Slap!
“Fuck.” That one word was all I could get out in my attempt to hold in a million other things that wanted to be said. Begging, for one. I was so close to pleading for him to fuck me faster with his fingers. To drive them deep and mercilessly into my pussy. Each swift thrust had me literally clawing at the window and I was already so close to coming. At the hand that wrapped around my waist, arching my hips, I nearly did.
“You not saying your pussy is mine in this moment doesn’t matter to me, slave. You
will
be saying it before the night is over with. You watch and see. For now…you’re mine, regardless.”
The sound of his belt coming undone gave me a moment to pull my thoughts together. I shouldn’t be doing this. Not because I knew it was wrong or that he wasn’t going to wear protection. I was safe from pregnancy and would bet my life he hadn’t been unfaithful to me once, but what we were doing was only going to make things worse. Was going to—
The head of his cock pushed against my opening, wiping all thoughts from my mind. My eyes closed, and I pushed back, savoring his thickness while it inched inside, stretching me wide.
“God…dammit. You feel so good.”
His fingers wove into my hair, pulling back, and making me arch even more. The city lights were but a fog as the side of my face was pushed against the glass before he drove all the way in.
“Zain. I…”
“Don’t. You want this.” He plunged into me again. “You’ve missed me just as much as I’ve missed you. Admit it.”
For the life of me, I couldn’t answer with words. Instead, I moved my hips, trying to make him go faster. The slap to my ass was a warning to be still. I knew my Master, just like I knew my sudden lack of movement was going to get me what I wanted. Eight torturous thrusts built me up when all of a sudden, he slammed into me. The pace turned frantic, desperate, just like we were for each other.
“Say you missed me. I have to hear you say it.” His fingers pressed over my clit, rubbing back and forth as I fought to breathe through his pounding.
“I…can’t. We shouldn’t—”
Whack!
“Say that again and I’m going to tear your ass up, Lilian.”
A scream broke past my throat, but not at the spanking. The return of his hand over the top of my slit moved faster, beginning a combination I knew all too well.
Slap! Rub for a few seconds. Slap! Rub again.
“Oh…God!” I pushed to my toes as my orgasm built to the point of not being sure I’d contain it.
“Almost, baby.” Harder he pushed me into the thick glass, until the top of my chest was flattened to the surface.
Slap!
Tightening pulled at my insides and I shifted to try to bring him to the spot that would push me over the edge. I had waited too long. I didn’t want to wait anymore.
Slap!
“I said no. Stop moving.”
The sting had me sucking in and I let out a cry as he slowed and grinded into me. “Mine,” he said, lowering against my back and continuing his torture over my clit. Combined with the slow thrusts, my whole body trembled.
“Please…”
“Do you think I’d allow just anyone to call me Master, slave?”
“No,” I rushed out.
His fingers pushed back to where we were joined, collecting my wetness, only to move back up and use it to slide easier over my clit.
“Then ask and address me correctly. Remember what we’ve been through and how far we’ve come.”
Flashes of memory blinded me, visions of just before and after we’d made love barreling through. To kneel before him came natural. To call him Master, was a gift. He’d taught me that. I had been separated from other women. Put on his pedestal and cherished. Hadn’t he said worshipped? Yes, he had worshipped me just as much as I had him. We were yin and yang. We were one…and we couldn’t be.
“I won’t disrespect you by lying.”
A growl was followed by another slap. I bit my lip as the slow movements turned rough. “You’re lying now, slave. Aren’t you?”
His hand pulled back on my hair as the other slapped my ass. I inhaled deeply as he increased the thrust until all I could do was make continuous sounds.
“You know how I feel about liars, Lilian. If you don’t want to respect the title I so easily grant you, I’ll just remind you of how we got there.”
Pressure from his palm fitted over my nose and mouth while he slapped my ass harder than all the other spankings combined. Tears filled my eyes and spilled over almost instantly. Although my mind reeled from the shock, it was as though my soul sighed in relief. There was my pain — my missing link that only Master could satiate.
“Do you feel how you’ve relaxed? You’re lowering. You’re getting very heavy.”
Whack! Whack!
“Submission is calling, baby girl. It’s time to answer. Now, let go and submit.”
Air filled my lungs and the new movement over the top of my slit left heat rolling from my body. Especially, my ass. Combined with the pleasure, I was lost.
“Oh…”
“Say it,” he snapped.
My head shook as my orgasm beckoned.
“Now, God dammit. Say it, slave.”
The sobs still came, but I couldn’t think of anything past my love for the man behind me. When we were faced with each other, how could I so easily slip back into the state of mind that he was good? Was he? What was right and wrong, anymore? I couldn’t think. Didn’t want to. All I knew was what my inner-most self told me, and that was that Zain was the one for me. That I was being stupid for denying what I so clearly knew.
“No!” I screamed, as the spasms shook my body.
His hand cupped back over my nose and mouth while I cried through the waves of what only he could bring me. Warmth shot over my ass and I barely noticed as he used something behind me to clean me up. The smooth feel was so wrong from what I knew should have been touching my ass. The paddle. His hand. Something that would punish me for the stubbornness I was showing.
“You break my heart, Lily. You really do.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes, refusing to turn around to face him. Shame for what I had done led me to dip lower and pull up my dress.
“They call me the ice queen at work. I guess that’s just who I am now. I’m sorry, Zain, but you have to see, I’m not the girl I once was. She’s dead now. She’s been dead since she left you.”
“You’re not the same. I see that. But your love for me is still alive.”
Slowly, I turned, meeting his eyes.
“I’ll always love you. It doesn’t mean that we can be together. I’m serious when I say we’re over. A relationship between us, a future, is impossible. We both know why.”
I didn’t wait to seek his permission as I headed for the door. That wasn’t who I was anymore. Lily, the girl, the submissive, was gone. The new woman who had taken her place didn’t take orders from anyone.
“Slave.” A threat laced his tone, but I didn’t so much as slow. Instead, I quickened my pace, the door almost within grasp.
“You’re not leaving.”
My heart was pounding as I reached for the lock and turned it. I couldn’t believe I’d made it so far. Was he really going to let me leave? The thought left an uneasiness, but I didn’t stop. I flung the door open and stepped through. Never once had I heard Zain approach. Fingers gripped my arm and I didn’t think as I jerked and raced for the elevator, pushing the button frantically.
“No, baby. Don’t do this.” He spun me around to face him and I brought my fist down on the back of his elbow again. I watched the arm drop and then pain race over his features, but he didn’t let up. His other arm wrapped around my waist. “Look at me. You love me. Now, stop this. Running away and ignoring what we both know isn’t going to make things easier. Whatever you’re afraid of, we can get past it. Is it Slade? Is that the reason why you’re denying what we both know?”
“You have to let go.” Even though I flailed, I wished what he spoke could happen. That we could get past it. But he didn’t know my brother. Didn’t understand or see what I did. He was bad. I couldn’t bring that sort of trouble back into my life.
Ding!
The sound of the doors opened while I tried to wrestle free.
“Zain, let—”
Stinging pain flared at my scalp from behind. One second, I was trying to fight Zain off, the next, I was trying to hold onto him as someone from behind fought to pull me free. I could see the panic and confusion so clearly written on my Master’s face. He wasn’t sure what was going on any more than I was, but we were both trying to disconnect me from the force that was hell bent on separating us.
“Let go!” I screamed. “You’re hurting me!” I grabbed Zain tighter.
“Baby, reach inside my jacket pocket and get my gun, I can’t let go of you.” Zain’s low voice had me obeying immediately. The moment I moved my hand from the grip on his jacket, an arm locked around my throat and jerked me free. The deafening explosion next to my ear had sound ceasing to exist. My heart…stopped. As if to tell me the love of my life no longer was inside of me. Or alive. Zain’s hand reached to his chest, blood oozing through his fingers as he crumbled to the floor.