Chapter 6
Lily
What was I doing? The restaurant doors loomed before me, but for the life of me, I couldn’t get myself to walk through them. Had that been my Master? From the small distance between the buildings, I was sure it was. But, then…I couldn’t be certain. He wasn’t standing there for long. It had to be someone who resembled him. Zain never wore suits. He had always been dressed in dark clothing when he returned from his missions. It was nerves that were causing me to see things. It had to be.
“You okay?”
Brace’s voice had my heart rate slowing. I turned, giving him the fake smile I’d become used to. “Great. I was just thinking.”
“You sure? We can take you home if you’re not feeling up for this.”
I took a step backwards toward the door. “No, I’m fine, really. I shouldn’t be too long.”
At his nod, I turned and forced myself to continue. My skin tingled and I couldn’t get over the fact that I was being watched by more than my guards. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I shivered as I headed through the entrance.
“Lily Roberts here for Alec Brighton.”
The hostess threw me a wide smile. “Right this way, Ms. Roberts.”
My fists clenched repeatedly as I glided past the tables to one in the very back. It sat right next to a window and I couldn’t help but think my brother had something to do with that. No doubt he wanted my guards to see every little move made toward me.
“Lily.” Alec stood, walking over behind my chair as I approached.
“Alec.” This time, the smile was genuine. I let him take my hand as he helped me to sit down. As he rounded back to the chair directly across from me, I tried my best to keep calm. This was just a date. That was it. I didn’t have to go on another if I didn’t want to. And it was only dinner. It wasn’t like we’d be heading back to his place or mine afterward. There’d be no stolen kiss outside my door. My bodyguards would destroy him if he even tried.
The hostess was replaced by a waiter taking our drink orders. I stuck to what I knew, what had rubbed off on me from my brother. “Scotch, please.”
Alec’s eyes flashed to mine, but he smiled. “I’ll have the same.”
At the departure, he turned, giving me his full attention.
“You really surprise me. I expected something different. Maybe a martini. But, no, Scotch. I like that.”
“I’m glad. I won’t pretend to be something I’m not.”
He smiled. “Which is why you’ve kept my attention for so long. I won’t lie, at first, I was cautious to be around you. I had to see what type of person you were. The more I learned, the more I began to respect you. You’re an honest woman. Tough, but someone a person can trust.”
Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting to hear, but a compliment, which I appreciated. “Thank you. Honesty is important.”
And I’m full of blood soaked lies.
“I try to tell the truth as much as possible.”
“A rarity in this field. You amaze me. You’re going to go far. Well, you already have and it had nothing to do with Slade. You’re a natural leader, Lily. At your age, you’ve surpassed men who have spent the last decade or more trying to accomplish as much. Your future is set. Now, all you have to do is enjoy the ride.”
The waiter returned with our drinks and I lifted my glass, lowering my voice. “To the ride. May it be rough, with mind-blowing rewards. I don’t think I’d like it any other way.”
A shocked expression turned into a smile. It pulled at his mouth and it was one I knew all too well. I pushed away the shyness at the blatant flirting. The voice inside was screaming to run from embarrassment. The taker I’d become said to keep her game face on until she was ready to allow anyone in. After all, this blunt person was who Alec knew. Not the sweet, insecure girl who still lurked around on occasion.
“You like it rough?”
I turned, smiling at the waiter. Alec’s back straightened. He hadn’t been aware the man was still there.
“Are you ready to order or do you need a few more minutes?”
“I’m ready.” I faced my date, who nodded he was ready, too. The menu flipped open and his hand scanned down the page, reading over the contents of what he wanted. While he looked between the waiter and the choices, I couldn’t help but notice how truly attractive he was. How had I missed it all this time? Had I been so under my Master’s spell that I’d been blinded to everything but my memories of him? What had changed?
“Ma’am?”
My eyes stayed on Alec as I spouted my order from memory. The spark was there. I could feel the lust thickening between us. An odd sense of dominance reigned supreme on my behalf. For the first time, I wanted to be the one in charge. With Master, it was so natural to submit. It came from my soul. Here…I wanted control. To be the one with authority if anything happened between us.
“Your eyes are so beautiful,” he said, continuing to hold my stare. “I’m sure you’ve heard that a million times, though.”
“Maybe a few, but I think I like the sound of it from your mouth. Tell me again,” I said, lowering my voice and leaning more toward him.
Alec’s eyes flashed down to my cleavage, pulling my own devilish smile. When our gazes met again, there was no embarrassment on either of our behalf.
“You’re more than beautiful. Fuck, Lily. I’ve wanted to tell you that for so long now. I’ve wanted
this
for so long.” He swallowed, taking a deep breath. “Your brother is going to kill me before it’s over with. I’m not sure I can keep my hands to myself.”
“You will if I tell you to.”
“Yeah?” He rested his arms on the table, moving closer. We were less than a foot apart and I couldn’t help but suddenly want to close the distance. What in the hell was happening to me? How had I gone from prude to promiscuous in the matter of a few short hours? Guilt over my Master had my arousal extinguishing.
“Yes. He can’t kill you if you’re not the one initiating, now can he?” I leaned back, grabbing my glass again and taking a sip. Still, Alec stayed transfixed on me.
Slow down, Lily. You’re obviously not in your right mind. It had to be seeing someone who reminded you of Master. You’re jumping the gun to block him out. This isn’t the way.
“No, I guess he can’t. Are you going to tie me up so I have an excuse?”
I laughed, while at the same time, my stomach turned. “Tie you up, bind you, maybe break out my handcuffs. Whatever I feel in the moment.” My eyes took in the surroundings. Everyone seemed to be in their own little world. An inexplicable warning bell rang in my mind even as my mouth opened to speak.
“Go to the restroom. Wait for me outside of the stall of your choice. Don’t ask questions. Don’t say a word. Just…obey.”
My heart thudded hard against my thickened throat. I wasn’t sure what reigned supreme, the thrill, or the sick feeling from the unstableness inside of me. Fuck, I was cracking inside. I could feel myself becoming someone I didn’t know. Someone I didn’t want to be. Still, I continued to follow through with my spontaneity.
“Lily…” Alec shifted and looked around. My hand rose and I closed my eyes.
“Go, if you’re inclined. If you’re not,” my eyes opened, “then I bid you goodnight.”
Something passed over his face. An emotion I couldn’t understand. Slowly, he rose and didn’t once turn back to me as he headed for the restrooms at the far end. I picked up my glass, downing the rest of the Scotch. My face turned toward the window and I could almost feel the broken pieces inside of me racing throughout my body. How much longer could I go on before I shattered? Why did I want to find out?
Master.
The internal sob nearly brought tears pooling in my eyes. What was I waiting for? Someone to rush in and save me before I possibly made the biggest mistake of my life? No…wait, I’d already done that when I followed Bethany out of the nightclub. So, mistake number two? This one I could prevent, yet I didn’t want to. I wanted to be rescued. Proof that I wasn’t as alone as I felt. But I knew the hero I wanted wasn’t going to show up to kiss me back into submission. I was on my own.
I stood, pushing my palms against the table. The dimness of the restaurant drove me to the back. It was so close to the lighting of Master’s room. It was always dark in there, just like we were. But the best parts came when the sun went down. Pleasure was always found in the shadows of night. It was my favorite time. I could walk around in the pitch black as calm as if it were day. Maybe I was craving danger like I’d once been exposed to. The level of adrenaline always pumping through my body didn’t compare anymore.
Master.
Was it possible my transition had to do with me holding on to the only piece of him I could bring to life? Dominance. Power. Control. Yes, I’d been grasping at anything that could make me strong or remind me of him this whole time. Here I was, about to commit the ultimate betrayal and sin, and it was all due to the god I saw him as in my mind. Desperation could make the strongest souls weak. What a web of guilty pleasures I craved tonight. And it all boiled down to one thing — if I couldn’t have him, I’d
be
him.
I pushed the bathroom door open, not stopping as I spotted Alec pulling nervously at his tie. His weakness was my fuel. I let it soak deep within as I swayed my hips with each step closer.
“Take it off.”
His hand paused at adjusting the knot and in one swift pull, he removed the silk around his neck. A slight trembling left his hand shaking as he passed it over to me.
How would he react when I unleashed what I wanted? What I yearned for in a depth so deep, it was endless?
My nails raked over his palms at a leisurely pace, removing the black material. With my other hand, I grasped the lapel of his jacket, bringing him toward me.
“Consent to give yourself to me fully.” I pushed to my toes so our lips were but inches from each other. The fog in my head grew thicker. Master was the only one before me. Those full lips. Eyes the color of the sun. But
his
words were coming out of my mouth, not mine. “Let me have you how I want. Put your trust in whatever I do and I’ll bring you the best pleasure you’ve ever experienced. I’ll leave you something you’ll never forget. A gift,” I whispered. “Let me be your gift, Alec.”
The smell of Scotch had me closing my eyes and pulling him closer. “Say yes,” I said against his lips. “Anything I want.”
“Yes.”
My tongue swept over his lips, tasting what had now just become mine.
“Enjoy the loss of control. Surrender to it. To me.”
Smooth silk eased down my palm and I brought both hands up. I had the tie around his throat before he could break from the spell I had sucked him under. Panic had his hands jerking. At my eye contact, he stilled.
“Very good.” My lips pressed into his hungrily and I increased the pressure around his neck as our tongues slid against each other. The smoothness from his cheeks left me in a weird place. Master always had stubble. Maybe I’d make Alec stop shaving but for every other day. I didn’t like not feeling the roughness.
“Now, take me into the stall.”
There wasn’t a moment of hesitation as he pulled my dress up so I could straddle him. Pressure from his shoulder pushed into the door and it slammed against the wall of the small enclosed space. We practically fell in at the frantic need of our lips.
“Fuck, Lily.” Fingers gripped my ass as he spun to push me against the wall, locking the door. My pussy grinded against his stomach and I jerked my hands tighter.
“I didn’t tell you to take control. That’s mine. Now, put me down, sit, and unbuckle your pants.” My grip relaxed and I pulled the tie loose. Alec obeyed, easing me to the ground. He was still shaking as he undid his pants and sat down. Fuck, what was I doing? Dirty. Yes, it seemed like I kept finding myself in these situations.
“Put your hands behind your back and lean forward.”
“Kiss me again,” he said, getting in position. I leaned in, securing his hands to the metal pipe.
“I’ll kiss you when I’m ready. Now, lean back.” I lifted my foot to rest on his thigh, making sure to press the stiletto in just enough to make him groan. His dark hair drew me in and I weaved my fingers through, gripping tight.
So close to the color of Master’s.
“Kiss this.” In a slow stroke, I made a path over my bare skin, just above the stocking.
As he eased forward, my hand allowed him to go at his own pace. But I never let up the pressure at which I held to him.
“You’re driving me fucking crazy. Fuck, I’ve never had it like this before. I’m always the one making the moves.”
“Not anymore. Not with me.”
Teeth sank lightly into my skin and I moaned, feeling myself grow so much wetter. Before, what we were doing was nice, but the pain sparked who I truly was. What I needed, regardless of my sudden switch in personality.
“Harder.” The word was so full of need, I barely recalled how my voice dropped to that seductive tone. “Ooh.” I sucked in air at the increase in pressure, closer to my pussy. “Like that. Yes.” Still, his lips grew closer to the one place I wanted them the most.
Bang!
The door slamming open had us both jumping. Slowly, I moved my leg down, fixing my dress. My saviors were here, but not in the form I wanted.