Live In Position (67 page)

He didn't say a word. Before I could say anything else, we were wrapped in an embrace. His lips pressed against the side of my head, over my cheek, until his path stopped on my lips. Pulling back he pressed his forehead to mine.

"We're having a baby?"

I nodded. He kissed me again only this time it was deeper.

Before I could get carried away in the passion mounting between our connected lips, I pulled back and looked up into his face.

"I'm coming home, but I don't think we should get married."

His smiled morphed into confusion.

"But…so you don't want to marry me?"

I sighed. "Collin, we can't agree to marry until we work everything out."

"But we're having a baby. We are getting married. Sophia, I want to be married before the child comes. I want you to be my wife when this child," his hand splayed across my stomach, "comes into the world."

Covering his hand with both of mine I smiled. "I want my book career, and that means traveling. I won't fight with you every time I need to be away."

"It's solved," he shrugged with a smirk. I pursed my lips at him in disbelief.

"Just because you say that, doesn't make it true."

"Sophia, I don't ever want to treat you or Victoria the way I did in New York. I love you too much to lose you the way I did." Tears slipped over his cheeks.

"You didn't lose me."

He shook his head.

"Yes, I did. You ran home to get away from me." I opened my mouth but he stopped me. "I get it and have realized the difference. This time when you left, there was really a chance you wouldn't come back. It was so different from the traveling you did for work. I was a fool and idiot."

"That still doesn't solve my traveling and your insecurity with it."

"I'll just come with you." He smiled.

"And when you can't? When we have to be apart, then what?"

He sighed heavily. "I may be a grouch about it, but I will have to learn to deal with it. Like I told you, I know, now, what it's like for you to leave and truly not be coming back."

"I was coming back." I cupped his face and wiped away the left over tears.

"But I didn't think you were. This was different. It was devastating."

I kissed him. I kissed him with all the reassurance I could produce.

Two days later we were back in Seattle. Before we left Tacoma Collin agreed we needed to sit and talk about everything when we got home. Things were better, but there was still so much to deal with. Victoria was staying with Larissa so Collin and I could have our discussion tonight.

Dinner was finished and I was setting it out when Collin stepped into the room. My hormones were raging more and more with each passing day, and his intense good looks didn't help the matter. So when he walked into the room in a simple ensemble of jeans and an old gray college t-shirt I had to bite back the desire firing up inside of me. It wasn't until the middle of dinner our discussion finally moved beyond pleasantries and social discussion.

"So, you still feel we shouldn't get married," he hadn't really asked as a question, but I knew it was.

"I don't think it's the right time." I sat back into the lacquered mahogany chair and met his gaze.

"I want to marry you. Please, Sophia, think of our child."

"That's one of the many things I am thinking of." I countered. He sighed.

"We've already discussed your traveling. I will have to work at it, but I know it can be much better going forward." He leaned his elbows onto the dinner table.

"What about your control issues?" I raised one eyebrow at him.

"I don't try to control you," he protested.

"Oh?" I gave a half grin and a shake of my head. "Remember the truck, moving my room?"

"Those are in the past," he waved it off and set back in the chair at the head of the table.

"You don't think that demanding things from me or getting furious when I make a decision isn't controlling. Do you even realize how much it hurt to have you throw in my face that I wasn't Victoria's mother?"

He grimaced at my words.

"It crushed me and hurt her too. You got angry and threw it in my face because you didn't have control of the situation. Then there was the night we were arguing in the kitchen and you brushed me off like a child, 'until I wasn't so defensive'. If I dismissed you like that, you would lose it." His head dropped and his eyes closed.

"I'm not used to being any other way." He barely said the words loud enough for me to hear. "But," his eyes came up and met mine, "I want to change for you."

When he pushed back from the table I sat up straighter. The moment he was on his knees in front of me I leaned back into the chair.

"I know how much you've compromised to be with me, how much you've taken and taken with amazing grace." He smiled sweetly. "It's my turn to do that for you. I love you Sophia Ashwood. Please, please do me the honor of becoming Sophia Bishop?"

The smell of his shaving cream wafted into my nostrils and made my body tingle. His hands on my knees were sending hot waves between my legs. As I tried to focus and respond to him, my imagination ran wild with thoughts of me and him on the dining room table.

"I…you…" My mind was spinning, but telling me to stay firm. My heart was turning to a mushy pile of goo and telling my head to 'shut it'. "There is still so…I don't want to be fat bride," I blurted and then started to laugh.

"Is that a yes?" His crooked smile was the last straw.

Nodding I leaned down and captured his mouth with mine. His hands slid over my thighs to my hips. He pulled me to the edge of the chair, breaking our kiss. The warmth of his lips lingered on my skin as he trailed a path down my chest and over my collar bone.

"That's how I should have proposed to you." He mumbled against my skin.

I fisted the hair at the back of his neck and pressed my open mouth to his. We kissed passionately and our hands roamed the other's body. My fantasy of dining room table sex was coming true.

Collin sat naked in a dining room chair while I was snuggled against his chest, straddling his lap. Our breathing had calmed, but the chaos of our tossed clothing still littered the floor. I pressed my lips to his pectoral muscle and hummed in contentment.

"So, you don't want to be a fat bride huh?" I felt his chest shaking with his silent laughter.

"Why would I want to put on a wedding dress with a stomach the size of a globe?" I brought my head up to look at him as we spoke.

"But you aren't opposed to marrying me?" I shrugged and he tickled my sides.

"No, I'm not." I laughed out.

"Marry me in two weeks?" The longing and excitement mixing in his emerald eyes was so endearing.

"You're insane." Pushing to climb from his lap and get dressed, he pulled me back down.

"I'm serious. If I can arrange it, will you do it?" His eyes searched my face.

"No," I shook my head.

"Why?" His brow furrowed.

"It's too soon. We just talked everything over and –"

"Do you want to leave me?"

"Of course not, but –"

"Do you believe I won't change or you're just worried I can't?"

"I, uh, I don't know." I dropped my face.

"Answer me." His soft words were matched by the softness of his touch. He brought my face back up to look at him.

"Yes, I'm worried, but I'm worried it will be too hard for you and you won't want to do it anymore." The honesty poured from my lips like smooth malt liquor. He smiled.

"There is nothing I could want more than to be with you. You know that right?" I bit my lip and nodded. "Okay, then marry me."

"Collin," I groaned and attempted to get up again.

"Sophia," he imitated me. I smacked his chest playfully. He grabbed my hands and held them to his chest. "I love you and will never risk hurting or losing you again. Marry me?"

"Okay."

Our lips met. The thrill of my answer spurred a growing intensity to our kiss and a growth against my lower abdomen. It didn't take long for my body to react to him, but instead of the table we didn't leave the antique wooden dining chair.

He lifted me from the back of my thighs and slid me down him easily. The moment we connected my body rejoiced with shivers. This time it was a slow building love making rather than the intense sex from earlier.

With my head once again on his chest and our breathing labored, a small twinge of worry crept into my stomach. Had I really agreed to marry him so fast and in two weeks?

Chapter Thirty Eight

Oh indeed I had agreed. The very next morning Collin was on his cell phone making calls. After I returned from picking Victoria up from Larissa and Max's house, Collin was still on his phone talking to people. He motioned for me to go into the dining room. I did with confusion filling me.

Once in the room I stopped short. There sat Ilene and Felicity Dane. Felicity smiled widely and stood to greet me, but before she could speak Ilene cut her off.

"I'm so glad you're back," She moved quickly to my side and set me down between her and Felicity, "We have so much to do."

"Wait, what?" I shook my head and looked between the two of them.

"Mr. Bishop called me this morning to assist with the change in wedding plans." Felicity explained gently.

"He did?" I was a little bothered, but mostly impressed that he was so involved.

"Yes," Felicity patted my hand.

"I don't know why you two are in such a rush to have this wedding. What we had planned was perfection. Now we'll have to make do." Ilene waved her hand around. I bit back a smile until she spoke again. "It's not as if you have to get married because you're pregnant or something."

I gasped and snapped my head toward Ilene. It wasn't the best reaction and I immediately regretted it.

"Are you?" she gasped.

"Is she what?" Collin stepped into the room.

"Oh my God, Collin. Are you rushing this wedding because you impregnated your nanny?" Ilene blurted, Felicity gasped, and I buried my face in my hands. "Is this why you entered into this relationship?"

"Mother," Collin's tone was battling between control and anger. "I'm marrying Sophia because she is the best thing, besides Victoria, to come into my life. I love her."

"You didn't answer me about being pregnant?" Her tone was as snotty as she had always been.

"It's none of your –"

"Yes," I pulled my hands away from my face and turned to Ilene, giving her a look challenging her to say something else inappropriate and rude. Her stiff posture slackened under my stare.

"I'm pregnant and we are moving the wedding up so that I won't have to hire 'Omar the Tent maker' to make my gown."

Felicity snorted a laugh, but quickly quieted. I glanced to Collin only to find amusement on his face.

"Oh, well," Ilene seemed lost for words. I turned back to her.

"If you refer to me as an employee in this house anymore, I assure you I'll have no problem keeping you from entering the front door again." I inhaled and exhaled loudly before turning to Felicity and the wedding plans.

"So, where were we?" I forced a smile.

When a hand slid onto my shoulder, I knew it was Collins. Looking up at him, he leaned down and kissed me.

"I love when you get all assertive." He whispered against my lips.

My wide eyes turned to Felicity, who was pretending she hadn't heard what he said. Ilene sat speechless at my back.

Two days later, plain but elegant wedding invitations were delivered to family and friends. In two weeks Collin and I would be getting married at the beach house in Whidbey Island. Ilene had a company out there cleaning, while Juliette would be working on changing the décor.

This amicable relationship that had formed between Ilene and Juliette was surprising and I wasn't sure how it had happened. That was until Allison filled me in on an unknown. She told me about Ilene having acquired a new, extremely wealthy boyfriend. I figured he had something to do with Ilene's changed feelings. Maybe man-friend was more appropriate for a sixty-something year old man.

Connor was apparently a thing of the past where Ilene's attention was concerned. I suppose it was for the best, given the fact that Connor and Juliette lived together in Whidbey.
They also were planning to wed during the summer. Connor's health and recovery were their main focus for now.

Presently I was sitting in the dining room with Larissa, Allison, and Ilene. Wedding magazines, designer sketches, and laptops were all sitting before me. All of this for a dress, a dress I simply asked Larissa to assist me find and give her opinion. It has now become a massive search for the 'perfect dress.' I pushed my laptop away from me and rubbed my eyes.

"Can't we just go into town and visit a dress shop?"

The room went silent. I looked up at the three pairs of eyes staring at me like I suggested sacrificing my first born to the harvest moon.

"What?"

"Off the rack?" Allison cringed.

"Don't you want the dress of your dreams?" Larissa questioned.

"We're not going to some retail bridal store," Ilene shook her head in disgust. "You are marrying my son and you deserve to have a beautiful gown."

"But I don't want a huge gown," I moaned. "Honestly, just a simple white dress that will camouflage my midsection is all I am looking for."

"You won't be showing in two weeks," Ilene informed.

"I know, but still I just want something simple and comfortable." I let my fingers skim over the keys of my laptop as I spoke. "Like this," I spun the laptop around.

They all looked the dress over in silence. Allison's brow furrowed for just a moment before her eyes lit up.

"That could work." Ilene snapped her head toward Allison. "We can use that dress as a starting point." She began flipping back through magazines. I huffed and stood up.

"I'm going to the bridal place in town." I walked away without looking back. On my way up the stairs Larissa's voice called out.

"I'm sorry," I turned and looked upon her apologetic face. "This is your dress and your day." She smiled. "I'll come with you."

"Let me grab Victoria." I smiled and hurried up to get her.

When I stepped out of the house with a beaming Victoria at my side, I noticed the car was filled. Ilene and Allison were both sitting in the awaiting car. I wasn't sure if I should be happy about it or not, but I just went with it.

Entering the shop Allison didn't hide her disdain for the racks of dresses. Victoria ran straight to the little dresses that would fit her. Ilene took a seat in a puffy pink chair, looking around the place with curiosity.

"This is nice," Larissa held out a dress.

"Yes, it is," I eyed it. "Hmm…" I looked around the room, slightly overwhelmed. "Maybe we should've done this from the house." I looked back at Larissa. She could read my nervousness.

"It will be fine." She hung the dress back up as a woman approached us.

"Are we looking for anything in particular?"

"Yes, something designer and empire waist, the cost is not a problem." Allison stepped forward. "Oh, and don't push us onto these dresses. What have you got in the back?"

The woman's eyes widened and I saw the intimidation she felt. With a large swallow and a deep breath she found her voice.

"Of course, please give me a moment," she began to walk toward an open door. She turned around quickly. "Was there a color preference?"

Allison turned to look at me, I shook my head. "No," she responded to the clerk.

"Let's sit," Larissa wrapped her arm in mine and we took seats next to Ilene.

The bridal shop clerk emerged with some help. Both had their arms filled with garment bags. One by one, they showed us the dresses. There were thirteen in all, but only three I wanted to try on. While they set up the dressing room for me, we watched Victoria model dresses she liked.

"What about this one?" Victoria spun in fluffy dress with a white top and yellow tulle bottom. While I think she is gorgeous in anything, this dress was hideous.

"How about you try something less formal?" I suggested and she ran back to try on another dress.

It didn't take her long to come back out in spaghetti strapped, light green satin dress. There was a large satin flower on the hip and it was extremely cute on her, but Allison nixed that one since it "wouldn't go with the bridal dress". I wanted to object, but Victoria ran off to change again. I think she liked the trying on part more than anything else.

The moment she stepped out in the final dress we all sighed at the sight of her. It was a simple sleeveless cream colored dress with six rows of flowing ruffles. There was a wide band of
light green in the same empire waist setting as my dress, but in the back it clasped with a silk flower. It was so pretty and she looked as if she just stepped out of a fairy tale with her curly red hair framing her porcelain skin.

"That's the one," I blurted with a large grin.

She spun four more times to watch the ruffles flow around her before skipping back to the dressing room. While she changed, I was escorted back to a large room with two attendants. They helped me into the first dress.

The moment they zipped it up I didn't like it. The material lining the dress felt rough and uncomfortable. I walked out anyhow.

Allison cringed up her nose, Ilene simply stated 'no', and Larissa told me to try on the next one. Victoria was the only voice of praise.

"It's so pretty." Her eyes glistened with excitement. "You look so pretty."

"Thank you," I winked at her and went back for the next dress.

Now this one was completely the opposite. The second it was on me and I looked into the mirror, it felt right. It felt perfect. Excitement began to mix in with my nervousness. I stepped out into the view of my four critics and each face reflected the way I felt.

"It's perfect," Larissa stood up and walked around me.

"There is no way I would've guessed they would have something like this here." Allison reached out for the dress and touched the fabric.

"You look like a princess!" Victoria bounced in her seat.

"It's lovely," Ilene added.

"Should I try on the other?"

"No." They all said in unison and then started laughing.

"Okay, okay, Geesh." I giggled. Then I grabbed the price tag.

"Seven thousand dollars," I exclaimed and started shaking my head. "I'm not paying that much for this dress. I'll only wear it once."

"That's nothing," Allison waved it off. "My dress was handmade in Italy. It cost seventy-five thousand."

"Mine was fifty," Larissa added to her sister in laws comment.

"You paid what?" I choked. "No, there is no way I'm –"

"Do you love this dress?" Ilene stood and looked at me.

"I did," I snorted and looked at the tag again.

"Don't make me call Collin," Allison threatened and pulled out her phone.

"What?" My eyes widened.

"You and I both know he will simply come and buy it himself if you don't. So what will it be? Let him buy it himself or let him be surprised when he sees you in it for the first time?" She started typing on her blackberry. "All I have to do is hit the talk button," she warned.

"I won't let him buy it." I argued.

"Such a shame that he'll see it before the wedding," she sighed. Larissa giggled and quickly covered her mouth.

"Daddy isn't supposed to see the dress," Victoria exclaimed and looked at me with worried eyes.

"When did you become a wedding expert?"

"Please mommy," she begged. As usual, I melted.

"Fine," I sighed. "I'll get it."

"Good, now let them take the measurements for the alterations and I will go pay for it." Ilene started to walk away.

"What, no, Ilene, I'll pay for –"

"I am taking care of your dress." The look on her face said she meant business, so I shut up.

Victoria was disappointed when we had to leave the dresses to be altered, but I knew she would be cheered up later tonight when Collin and I finally told her about the sibling she would be getting.

Having finally made a real appointment with a doctor, my appointment was the next day and we wanted to tell her before it. My plan was to get her out of school early so she could be there too.

Collin arrived home later than we had planned, so instead of telling her over dinner we had to do it before she went to bed. I worried she wouldn't be able to sleep after she knew about the baby.

"Victoria?" Collin stepped into her room while I brushed her hair.