Live In Position (64 page)

"Dr. Bishop," the husband called out and looked around the room.

"Yes?" Collin stepped from a group of men, his eyes falling on Grace. Confusion plagued his features for a moment.

"I believe she is suffering some problems."

"I think she's going into labor," the blonde wife corrected with surety.

"Then we should call an ambulance," Collin pulled out his cell phone. "I'm a neurologist, not an OB."

"Please," Grace interjected, "I'm fine. I've just been on my feet too long. Could I possibly go lie down?" Collin furrowed his brow. "Just for a bit." Grace plastered a fake smile.

"That sounds like a good idea. Collin, where can we take her?" The blonde woman reached down and took Grace's hand. Grace stood, holding her stomach with her free hand.

"I can find a room," Grace smiled slyly; "I'm very familiar with the bedrooms in this house."

It took three deep breaths for me not to hit a pregnant woman. When I looked at Collin, his posture was stiff.

"Collin, you should help her, she is your guest." The husband made the suggestion without knowing what he was truly asking. There was no way I was letting that woman get him alone in a bedroom.

"I'll take her," I stood quickly and took Grace's arm before anyone could say another word.

"Sophia," Collin spoke in question but I stopped him.

"I've got her." I forced a smile and helped a now scowling Grace to the stairs.

"I can make it on my own," she growled, pulling her arm from my grasp.

"Oh, I'm sure you can, but see there is no way you're getting into my bed." I batted my eyes and smiled sweetly at her. Her eyes narrowed.

"It's Collin's bed, not yours, and I should remind you that I've been in that bed many, many times." My eyes narrowed on her. Bitch. "Mmmm…" she started up the stairs, "I can remember all too well the way he would wake me up with that big cock of his." She smirked over her shoulder at me.

I froze on the stairs. She continued up to the top.

"Ask him who picked out the bed." She purred and disappeared into an empty guest room.

There was no going back into that room. Too many tears were threatening to break through. Descending the stairs I shot straight for the bathroom in the back hallway. On the way I ran into William.

"Sophia?" he questioned when he saw my face.

I pushed by him and hurried into the bathroom. With the door closed I sat on the lid of the toilette and cried. I had let her get to me once again. When did I get so emotional and when did I become such a crybaby?

What felt like hours had only been twenty minutes and Collin was knocking on the door, loudly. I worked on calming down my sobbing and trying not to appear so distraught. One look in the mirror over the sink and I knew it was pointless. Splashing cold water on my face, Collin's voice became loud and alarmed.

"Sophia? Sophia, what happened?" he knocked again "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I quipped. "I'll be out in a bit."

"Let me in," he ordered.

"I'm fine Collin." I was too embarrassed to admit my emotional state and too irritated from knowing she had picked out his bed.

Her comment had only brought on a thousand images of her in
that
bed with him, the two of them having sex, cuddling, watching television, and just being together in general. I didn't want to think about it let alone have the visual in my head. It also didn't help matters when I instantly remembered her in the foyer, on her knees, going down on him. The tears pushed forth again.

"I don't believe you. Let me in, please?" he begged and pounded on the door. I could respond. My hand was covering my mouth to stifle the sobs. "Damn it, I'll break down the door." He threatened loudly.

I yanked open the door.

"There are almost a hundred people out there. Stop shouting!" His eyes looked me over and worry deepened his brow. "I'm fine and will be out –"

"What happened?" He pushed me back into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. "Are you alright? Why are you crying?"

"I'm just emotional. It will be –"

"Why? What did she do? So help me I will kill that woman if she –" I covered his mouth.

"I shouldn't let her get to me. It's my own fault for allowing her." I wiped away a stray tear.

His hands cupped my face, pulling me toward him. Our lips met and the kiss was passionate but caring. He pulled away with his hands still on my face.

"Please, talk to me." His green eyes pleaded for me to open up.

I closed my eyes and took a breath before I told him about my exchange with Grace. His green eyes darkened as I told him. When I spoke of the bed, his face changed into a mixture of anger and worry.

"I'm so sorry," he pulled me to his chest. "My past puts you through so much." He held me closer. "Tell me how to make it better. What can I do?"

"I want a new bed," was my only request.

Besides the Grace incident, Christmas went by beautifully. The first business day after Christmas men arrived to remove and replace our bed. The new bed was a large, wooden, four post bed. It was beautiful.

Just after Christmas my publisher called me to let me know my book was through the final printing phase and officially published. It had gotten pushed through to publication earlier than originally planned and would hit the shelves just after New Years. I was excited and immediately shared the news with Collin that evening. He seemed happy for me, but guarded.

Allison still had not moved out of the house, so Will and the twins were often a part of our daily school routine, mostly in the morning and around dinner. It was nice to have company sometimes, since Collin was at the hospital or called away for travel.

I couldn't explain it, but the more Collin traveled the more irritated I became. He seemed to be fine with going places for speaking engagements and seminars, but the idea of me traveling was so awful for him. I began to wonder if marriage was a good idea. What I wanted didn't seem to be what he wanted for me, and was becoming a challenge for me to come to terms with.

New Years was uneventful. Collin suggested a large party he usually attended, but I just didn't feel up to it. Things felt off and I wasn't sure if it was my doubts working against me now or not. I tried to stay awake till midnight, but just couldn't do it. Uncommon exhaustion had me passed out on Victoria's bed before ten. The next morning Will laughed and teased me about Collin coming in around eleven to carry me to our bed. Will had to finish off the kids celebration. I felt horrible about it.

Dragging myself to the coffee pot for the second cup that I hoped would finally wake me up, Victoria jumped from her seat and took her plate to the sink.

"Can I have more juice?"

"Sure," I mumbled and pulled my fresh cup of livelihood to my lips.

"Are you okay?" Will's voice made me fully open my half closed eyes. I nodded and swallowed the hot coffee.

"I don't think I'm sleeping well," I shoved the peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich into Victoria's lunchbox. This had become her newest favorite thing to eat – everyday.

"You don't
think
you are sleeping well? So, you don't know how you're sleeping?" He looked at me with a half grin.

"Shush," I chuckled, "I sleep pretty heavily, but I still feel tired when I wake up." I shrugged.

"Are you anemic?" He leaned into the fridge and pulled out two small bottles of juice for the twin's lunches.

"I don't think so." I zipped up Victoria's lunch bag and stuffed it into her backpack.

"You should go see your doctor." He pulled out the bread and some lunchmeat.

"What's e
-nem-tic?" Victoria mispronounced.

"Anemic," I corrected, "It's when a person doesn't have enough iron in their body."

"Oh," she furrowed her brow.

"A person with anemia can feel sick and tired a lot." Will further explained.

"O-oh," she nodded in understanding.

The twins finished their breakfast and, since it was my turn to drive that morning, I took the kids to school and dropped them off. On the way back from the school I received another call from my publisher. I hadn't been expecting it so it kind of worried me.

"H-hello?" I swallowed hard and licked my dry lips.

"Sophia, you are not going to believe this," he practically screamed through my phone. "You are the luckiest author I have ever worked with." He laughed loudly.

"Um, can you tell me what's going on?" I bit my lip.

"Girl, your book just happened to be set up on the new release display at Strand." His enthusiasm was hard not to pick up.

"Are you kidding me?" I gasped. Strand is such a large and popular bookstore. I couldn't believe they had picked up my book for the display.

"That's not even the best part," he laughed again. "It was chosen for Family Hour Event at their store."

"Family Hour Event?" Some of the embarrassment I felt for not knowing what he was talking about crept into my voice.

"It's when the store chooses different books to read from. Do you know how many uptown mothers take their children or the nannies take their children to these?"

"Uh…no," I answered honestly.

"Just about all of them," he laughed harder. He almost sounded crazed for a moment.

"So that's good right?" He laughed again.

"Sophia, it's phenomenal. Your book sold out."

"It what?" I had to have heard him wrong.

"It sold out," he was getting crazier by the moment. "Sophia, this book has a waiting list now. Other stores were sought out for the book and online purchases are skyrocketing. Do you know what this means?"

"That it's a winner for the kids?"

"It means you'll be getting a fax to sign so we can run a second edition publication. You also, have to agree to come and do a public read. Please Sophia, I know you are planning a wedding, but we just need five days. I can get Strand to set up a reading hour with you for two days and then we can get you out to a few of the smaller shops to meet with people too. We can push the printing ahead of some others and get the books pumped out within a month. What do you say?" I could hear his deep gasps of breath as he tried to recover from his long winded speech.

"I, honestly, I would love to do it, but I need to think about this. There is so much going on and I'd have to make arrangements for…" I hesitated, "for my daughter."

"Oh, of course. Please find out what you can do and let me know as soon as possible. Okay?"

"Okay." I was laughing now.

"And Sophia,"

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations. You're on your way, Miss." We said our giddy goodbyes and hung up.

I practically jumped out of my car to do a happy dance in the street.

Chapter Thirty Six

My excitement could not be contained and trying to concentrate on my tasks for the day was impossible. After an hour at the house, I gave up trying and simply called my father. Carla answered the phone and I probably blew out her eardrum when I shouted my news.

"That's fantastic," Carla laughed out. "Rick, pick up the phone, hurry!" She had pulled her mouth from the receiver, but I could hear her yell for my father. There was a click and some rustling before his voice came through the line.

"Soph, is everything okay?"

"It's better than okay, Daddy! My book is published and featured at a large store in New York, now it's sold out, sought after, and they want me to come to New York." I spoke so fast I barely understood myself.

"I think you just told me your book was published and it's a hit." He chuckled.

"That's exactly what she just told you." Carla screamed through the phone.

We talked a little longer and with both of their congratulations we said our goodbyes. Hanging up I ran upstairs and opened my laptop. Sure enough there was an e-fax waiting for me. I printed, signed, and faxed it back. My next call was Miranda.

When I told her about the news she convinced me to meet her for celebratory ice cream. We met less than thirty minutes later. I filled her in on all of the details as we dug into our waffle cones like it was our last meal.

Her round stomach fit her so well and I could help but rub her for good luck a couple of times. She frowned and slapped my hand away when she realized I was using her as a Buddha. I laughed and finished off my ice cream.

"I'm a little concerned about what Collin's going to say. He isn't too thrilled when I travel. This will be very soon and for a week." I bit my lip nervously.

"Come on, he worships you. I'm sure he is past all of that and will support you one hundred percent." Her smile was large and enough to convince me.

After kissing her cheek and rubbing her stomach one more time, we parted ways. I ran a couple of errands before picking up Victoria and taking her to her dance class. With my nerves on edge, I practiced what I was going to say to Collin tonight while she was in class.

"All done," Victoria stood in front of me. I gasped and jumped. She giggled. "I scared you," she laughed harder.

"Ha, ha, goofball," I tickled her sides and she squirmed away.

Taking her hand we walked out to the car. After climbing in we headed for home. The closer we got the more twisted my stomach became. His car sitting in the driveway almost brought on hyperventilation. I parked and turned off the car.

"Ummm, are we going to get out of the car?" Victoria questioned my weird behavior.

"Oh, yeah, of course," I pushed open my door. She climbed out of the back with her bag on her back and her tutu sticking out the top of her pants.

Stepping into the house we were immediately met by Collin. He knelt and caught Victoria in his arms with a large hug.

"How was class?" He fluffed her pink tutu.

"It was perfect." She smiled up at him as he stood tall and smiled at me. I was about to vomit.

"Why don't you go change and I'll make a quick dinner," I motioned to her tutu. She nodded and ran up the stairs.

"Hi," he smiled and pulled me into his arms.

"Hello," my voice cracked.

"What's wrong?" he pulled back and looked at me.

"Nothing, I actually have really good news." His brow rose in curiosity. "My book was published and featured in Strand."

"That's wonderful Sophia!" He hugged me tight again. "I'm proud of you." That gave me the courage to finish the rest of it.

"They want me to come to New York for a week to do some readings to keep the interest in the book and –" his arms loosened. He pulled back to look at me. I couldn't finish speaking. Hard lines filled his forehead.

"You're leaving again, already?"

"Already?" I was flabbergasted. "Collin, it's only a week and it's been awhile since I left."

"Yes, but you said not until June," his voice became harder.

"Well, I didn't expect my book to do this well, at least not this fast." I countered.

"So, you'll already start traveling all the time?" His arms dropped from around me.

"I'm sorry if my happiness is such an inconvenience." I pushed by him and went straight to the kitchen.

I was taking out a head of lettuce and some vegetables when Collin's footsteps alerted his entrance.

"It's hard for me when you are gone, I don't mean to –"

"No," I spun around and dropped the lettuce onto the counter, "you never mean to upset me, but you never stop yourself from doing it in the first place." I took a deep breath to attempt calmness. "Collin, you leave on trips frequently and are fine with it, but the moment I need to leave for something you get all worked up. You're being a hypocrite."

"I am not a hypocrite." The sternness in his face was matched in his voice. "You know why I get…concerned. It's not something that I can just shut off."

"I'm not Grace and my life is not something I can just shut off either." I picked up a large knife from the block and began to chop up lettuce and vegetables, taking out my anger on them instead of him.

"We should talk when you aren't so defensive." He dismissed the conversation and I was immediately boiling with anger.

"There is nothing to talk about. I'm leaving next week for New York." I snapped.

"Next week? I'll be away. What about Victoria? Did you even think about her?"

I slammed the knife onto the counter. My emotions took control of my body.

"Don't you dare," I growled. "When I got here you could barely tell me anything about your own daughter. Don't act as if I don't care about her just because I need to go to New York."

"But –"

"No Collin. Did you even listen to what you just said? You will be gone next week. Yet for me to go somewhere it's a problem." I growled out my frustration.

"So, you've already made the arrangements for New York and for Victoria? You didn't even talk to me about it first?" His fists clenched at his sides.

"Actually, no, I didn't, but it doesn't matter anyhow, because I am going, whether you like it or not. As for Victoria, I'll make arrangements, or hell, I'll take her with me." I returned my attention back to the vegetables.

"Soph-" Victoria bouncing into the kitchen cut his words off. He stormed from the room, leaving Victoria staring after him.

"What's wrong? Are you fighting?" Worry filled her face.

"We just don't agree on something. That's all." I forced a smile for her.

We made grilled chicken salads in silence before sitting to eat alone in the kitchen. Collin didn't join us. I knew he was furious, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. What I could find in myself was a part of me that had felt lost to his life.

Collin and I barely spoke, only functioning around each other out of necessity. Neither of us wanted to be the one to break the silent battle we were in. I wanted to stand my ground with him. Having given so much, I deserved his support not his insecurities, insecurities that I had done nothing but try to ease.

The day of his departure for his speaking engagement in California, he only kissed my cheek and left without a word. It infuriated me more, regardless of my own participation in this ridiculous silent battle.

I made arrangements with Victoria's school. She had her homework assignments to take with her and the day after Collin left, we flew into JFK and got a taxi to our hotel.

Victoria and I spent the first day walking around time square checking out the sights. She was in awe of the jumbo-tron and FAO Schwarz toy store. We spent at least two hours playing in there.

Back in the hotel I was exhausted and barely made it through dinner. With the television on for Victoria, I fell asleep next to her in the bed while she watched the Disney channel. The next morning I woke with a horrible stomach ache. Stumbling to the bathroom I almost missed the toilette as I heaved up last night's dinner. Luckily Victoria slept through my less than desirable moment.

I climbed into the shower and brushed my teeth. My muscles in my shoulder and stomach relaxed. Victoria stumbled in grumbling while I was rinsing out my hair. I left the water running so she could jump in before breakfast.

We walked down to the hotel restaurant. Both of us decided to order pancakes and bacon. My stomach was rumbling as the smells of breakfast from other tables filled the air around us. That was until a large man at the table next to us received his breakfast; Eggs Benedict. The moment my eyes watch the eggs wiggle my stomach turned and I had to make a b-line for the ladies room. I could hear Victoria yelling for me from behind, but I didn't dare open my mouth and create a scene.

Once I found an empty stall, I heaved. There was nothing worse than dry heaving. My stomach tightened and constricted with no relief for at least five minutes.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Victoria squatted next to where I had sat on the floor. I nodded.

"I think I might have gotten food poisoning from that burger last night." I pulled myself up as I spoke.

After rinsing my mouth out with water and wiping off my face, we returned to our table where our food awaited. At first I was hesitant to try and eat, but the moment Victoria's maple syrup hit her buttery pancakes I forked a big bite and sucked it into my mouth.

"Don't you want syrup?" Victoria giggled.

Nodding I reached for the syrup. I finished chewing as I poured the syrup on my plate. My stomach must've cleared everything out and been back to normal, because I ate four pancakes, three pieces of thick bacon, and a large glass of milk before we paid the check and headed for Strand bookstore by taxi.

The dark red awning around the store windows was the first thing you saw. With its bold white lettering you knew where you were. We exited the taxi and both of us looked up at the tall multistory building.

"This is a bookstore?" Victoria turned and looked up at me.

"Yep."

I couldn't take my eyes from the display window in front of us. My book sat amidst other great novels, but was on a raised platform of its own. Taking a deep breath to contain my excitement, we walked through the glass doors.

The smell of ink, paper, and leather filled the air around us. I inhaled deeply and found it a pleasurable scent. Books lined the walls, were stacked on tables, and there were so many people squeezing through the large areas just to seek out their desired read.

"Miss Ashwood?" I spun around at my name and furrowed my brow at the unfamiliar man before me. "You are Sophia Ashwood, right?" The telltale signs of embarrassment started to flush his cheeks, worried he was making a wrong assumption.

"Yes," I answered hesitantly. He released a breath of relief.

"I am Caleb Argonia, junior editor and publisher at Random House." He stretched out his arm, giving me his hand. I took it and shook with a small smile. "If you'll please follow me," he turned and began leading us through a labyrinth of book shelves, "we have a cleared space with seating for you to read today."

We stopped at a crowd of filled chairs. My mouth fell open and a sound must have escaped because Caleb turned to look at me. He smiled large.

"They have been waiting for over an hour." He gently took my arm and walked me toward the front. A crowd of mostly women and children focused their attention on me.

"I thought the schedule said to arrive at eleven?" Worry filled me. Had I messed up the times?

"It did, does," he corrected himself, "they just wanted to make sure they got a seat." He laughed quietly. "The rest have to stand at the back." Caleb pointed to a group of women, old and young, with children on their hips, in strollers, or standing next to them. My nerves began to rapidly begin tingling through my body. I only hoped the rush of adrenaline could be channeled into the reading I was required to do.

"Welcome Miss Ashwood," a tall lean woman stood smiling with her hand out. I took it and shook. "I am Mrs. Bass-Wyden."

"Thank you," I breathed out, unable to shake the shock of the large crowd. "It's nice to meet you." She smiled larger.

"It's a lot to take in the first time." Her eyes fell to Victoria who clung to my side. "And who is this lovely lady?"