Unable to hide her laugh, she buried her face against his chest to at least smother it some. He was laughing silently too, and his muscles bounced against her cheek.
“Guess they know.”
“Of course they bloody well know. We probably were louder than that awful country music they were playing.”
They spoke quietly, so that no one outside would’ve overheard them unless they were right outside the tent.
“Hmm. We’re going to have to work on your taste in music.” He kissed her forehead. “Are you going to be embarrassed tomorrow morning?”
“No. I’ll take pride in the fact that we’re simply the perverts in the group.”
“And we will wear the pervert badge proudly.”
They shared another round of laughter, and she cuddled closer, trying to remember if she’d ever been this happy before.
Aye, there was family, but this was different. This was wanting to cry when she thought about not seeing him in a few months. Of the possibility of them ending.
She loved his slow smile and charming humor. Loved how easily she could trust him. In bed and outside of it. She loved the way she felt so completely cherished. She just…oh God.
She was simply in love with him. It was that easy. And that complicated.
Acknowledging the sudden realization both relieved and scared her. The fear being a bit stronger, and tears gathered in her eyes. She stared wide-eyed into the darkness, listening to the steady beat of his heart, and wondered how the hell this had happened. She hadn’t seen it coming, but her friends and family had.
Brett stilled and shifted against her. “What—sugar, are you crying?”
“No, of course not.” Oh God. He’d felt her tears on his cheek.
“Kenzie, what’s wrong, honey?” He rolled onto his side, cupping her face as he gazed down at her with concern.
“I…” She couldn’t hide it. It was coming out of her mouth, like it or not. “I think I’m in love with you, and I’ve no idea how that’s even possible this fast.”
His chest rose visibly and he let out a shuddering breath. And he said nothing.
Nothing
.
Foreboding swept through her, tightening her heart and racing her pulse.
“And I see it’s so bloody crazy,” she muttered, “that you don’t even know how to reply.”
“It’s not crazy,” he rasped, holding her still when she made to move away. “It actually makes me feel less crazy, because I’ve been having the same thoughts.”
She stilled, her gaze searching his. “Really?”
“Yes, and if you think about it, it hasn’t been all that fast.” He stroked his thumb over her cheek. “We met over a year ago. Maybe we didn’t get together right away—absolutely my dumbass fault—but you never left my mind. And it appears my heart, Kenzie. No matter how much I wanted to stop it from happening, or deny it. It was there.”
She swallowed hard, struggling to stay afloat in uncharted waters.
“I have no idea what happens next, Brett. Where do we go from here?”
“I’m not sure.” His eyes flickered with unease. “I have three years left in the Navy.”
Her heart sank, and she gave a small nod. “And that’s clearly the crux of the matter. What do you want me to say?” She gave a small shrug. “I can tell you that I’m okay with you leaving for six months, but it’s not about me. It’s about you, and you being able to put aside your past enough to trust me.”
He didn’t deny it, instead gave a heavy sigh. “I don’t trust anymore.”
“Well it’s a damn shame, Brett. Because I sure as hell trust you—and I have every reason not to trust people.” She slid away from him, easing off the springy air mattress and searching for her clothes.
“Where are you going?”
“To grab some water.”
“Kenzie—”
“I need a moment, all right? Please.” She hesitated. “Just let me be for a bit.”
She was relieved when he didn’t try to follow when she left the tent a second later.
Outside she noted the others had gone to bed. The fire was out and there was nothing but moonlight peeking through the trees to light up the evening.
A shiver of unease slid through her, because it reminded her so much of the night Charles had attacked her. Anytime she was alone out under the moon, she got these mini anxiety attacks.
Which was stupid, because what did she expect? Charles to jump out of the woods and attack her again?
His words from the grocery store flitted back through her head.
I’m untouchable. I can do whatever the hell I want, to whomever I want. So if I were you…
She had been so angry with him at the time she hadn’t really let his statement sink in. It was moments like this where she got a little paranoid. Took them for the thinly veiled threat they were.
But she was camping miles from home, and he didn’t know that. She was being ridiculous.
A branch snapped nearby, followed by soft footsteps.
Kenzie swung her gaze to the right and saw the beam of a flashlight bouncing off forest floor. Her heart leapt into her throat, and she was ready to run, when a tall black lady stepped into view.
“Hey,” the woman called out. “I didn’t realize anyone else was still awake. I just ran to the bathroom. I’m Nicole. Me and Delmar just got here a half hour ago.”
Relief made her a bit weaker. “Oh right. Glad you guys made it. I’m—”
“The screamer. We heard.”
Oh God. Mortification couldn’t adequately describe the emotion sliding through her right now.
“I suppose we were kind of awful,” she agreed weakly.
“Girl, you were awesome. You were having yourself a good time. I’m glad you’re here. It’s Kenzie, right?”
“Aye. I mean, right.” Kenzie followed her to the table and grabbed a bottle of water.
“I missed the s’mores, dammit, but plan on getting something to eat since my hubby went to bed the minute he inflated it. Lame ass. You want a sandwich?”
“I think I overdosed on s’mores, but thank you.” She watched in awe as Nicole searched through the ice chest.
“You are nothing like them,” Kenzie finally said.
“Like who?” Nicole pulled out some bread and meat and carried it to the table.
“The other chiefs’ wives.”
Pausing in her sandwich-making mission, Nicole gave a firm shake of her head.
“I’m nothing like those bitches and proud of it.”
Kenzie gave a soft laugh. “I’m glad you agree that they suck.”
“Those women are nasty mean. Just evil-hearted.” Nicole continued making her sandwich and waved the container of meat at her. “Look, I don’t come to these camping weekends. I got tired of their bullshit. But when I heard Brett was bringing his new girlfriend I knew you’d be like a shiny new target for those ladies. So I came to give you at least one person you’d be able to call a friend.”
“You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”
“No problem. I gotta say, I was glad as hell to hear—literally—that me and my Delmar aren’t the only ones getting our freak on while camping.”
Grinning, Kenzie murmured, “I think we’re going to get along fantastically, Nicole.”
“You seem pretty cool too. I’ve been curious about you. Brett’s been single for a long time, and for him to bring you to the camping weekend is a big deal. Are you guys serious? If I’m prying too much, you go ahead and tell me.”
Were they serious? Yes, but with a heavy dose of no.
“We’re trying, but we’ve both got a bit of baggage,” she said carefully.
“Who doesn’t? Brett’s a good guy, but I don’t know how easy he’d be to love.”
Actually, he was all too easy to love. It was getting him to trust her that was the hard part.
“How long have you and Delmar been married?” She changed the subject, mostly out of curiosity.
“Fifteen years.”
“Do you like being a Navy wife?”
“I love it. Love getting to move around. Lots of people hate that part, but we’re okay. We’ve got each other and our kids.” Nicole paused to eat a bite of sandwich. “We consider it a big adventure.”
“It sounds like it would be.”
“Hmm. So it sounds like you guys
are
getting serious. You wondering if you can handle being married to a Navy guy?”
“I suppose it crosses one’s mind when you begin dating.” Marriage. They’d tiptoed around that word. Sure, their conversations may have centered on the dynamics of being involved with someone in the military—someone who came and went routinely, but no one had ever said the M word.
“You could handle it, Kenzie,” Nicole said quietly. “I promise, if you love the guy enough, you can handle anything together.”
Kenzie gave a small nod. “I think you’re right. Thanks for the chat.” She stood and smiled at her new friend. “It’s helped more than you can believe.”
“Anytime. And hey, the way those boys cook the eggs in bacon grease? It’s going to rock your world, girl. See you at breakfast.”
“Yum. My arteries are clogging in anticipation. See you at breakfast,” she called out.
Even as she climbed into the tent, Nicole’s words still rang through her head. How love could get you through anything. It wasn’t waxing poetic.
Unfortunately, Kenzie wasn’t the one doubting that theory. It was the man she loved, who’d fallen asleep outside his sleeping bag. One arm thrown up over his head, and his brows drawn together in a frown. As if he’d gone to sleep tormented by his thoughts.
Kenzie turned off the flashlight, dousing the tent in darkness as she climbed into her sleeping bag. Somehow, she sensed her sleep might be filled with similar angst. Closing her eyes, she tried to not think about where the hell they went from here.
Brett stared down at Kenzie, still asleep and curled up in his bed, as he got dressed.
It was Monday morning, and back to the grind. He knew she didn’t have to go to work for a few more hours yet, and it was custom for her to slip out later in the morning with the key he’d given her.
Things were back to normal.
That deep conversation in the tent, the admissions of love, it was like it hadn’t even happened. They didn’t talk about it again. Not during the rest of the camping weekend, and not since they’d returned last night.
It’d all been safe chatter. Making food. Making love. The usual stuff. But now, knowing he was going away on detachment for a few days, he realized he couldn’t leave things the way they were.
She stirred in the bed, her lashes slowly fluttering open.
“Mmm. Is it morning already?”
“It is. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.” He grinned and finished getting dressed.
“Have I ever told you how sexy you are in that blue camouflage bit you wear?” She stretched her arms above her head and ran her gaze over him.
“No, but it’s about time you did, sugar,” he teased, and approached the bed.
He knelt down on the mattress and eased to the middle toward her. She reached up, cupping his head as he dipped in for a kiss. Their lips met, soft and warm. Tender.
“I should probably crash at my house tonight,” she murmured, when their lips parted. “Let you get a full night’s sleep.”
“Sleep is overrated, but I’m leaving for a few days.”
She sat up, seeming more alert. “Leaving?”
“Detachment. It’s where we go out for shorter periods of time. This time, not even a week.” He paused. “I’ll be back by the weekend.”
“Oh.” She met his gaze and then gave a small nod. “All right then. I’ll just see you when you get back.”
He stared at her, uncertain about her response. Maybe he’d expected her to freak out a little. Complain about the time apart—even though a week was nothing. But she’d taken it in stride. Seeming more surprised than upset.
“I’m going to miss you, sugar.” He kissed her again.
Her eyes were still closed. “I’m going to miss you too, but this is your job. It’s what you do, and a week is barely that long at all.”
Relief slid through him, but still that niggling sense of doubt. Would she be as calm and collected if it was six months? With his ex-wife it had been tears, drama and so much blame.
“I’ll see you Saturday night, then? After you get off work?”
“Ah, no. Sorry, love, but I’ve got plans with the girls. Bachelorette party and all.”
“Ah. The night to misbehave.”
She grinned. “Not too awfully. Hailey isn’t much of a partier. We’ll have to get her drunk on sugar instead of alcohol.”
“Not a bad plan.”
“Oh, and my brothers wanted me to inform you you’re invited to the pub to hang out with them. A guys’ night, so to speak.”
“I see. Is that a request or an order?” He gave a slow smile.
“Well, it’s a request, but they really would love to get to know you better.” A guilty smile flickered across her face. “You know them.”
“I’m beginning to, yes. Tell them I’ll be there.”
Her smile widened, and she sighed. “You’re really good to me.”