Authors: Elena Matthews
“That’s a good answer, I’m glad they don’t just have anybody looking after my
baby.” I smirk half mockingly at him.
He quickly glances at me, giving me a brief smile before looking at me seriously, a look full of emotion. “Yeah, not to blow my own trumpet or anything but she’s in the most capable hands. I promise.
” His words leave me speechless. I barely know this guy from Adam but the look of honesty that he has in his eyes, a pure heart-wrenching look of trust has me believing every word. And I do, I believe him with every ounce of my heart.
Eventually we come to a stop, and when I look out of the window I realize we are parked directly outside of my apartment complex. He turns to look at me, his smile never escaping from his lips. “Here you go, home sweet home.”
“Thanks, it was really sweet of you to drive me home,” I say honestly, another piece of my heart being taken away, but this time it’s by the guy staring contently in my direction.
“It was my pleasure.”
The way he says the word ‘pleasure’ has a shiver trembling down the center of my spine. Oh God, his accent. “Where are you from? Just you don’t sound like you’re from round here,” I ask as I unclip my seatbelt.
“I’m from Dallas, Texas.” That explains that incredible twang he has to his accent.
“And you moved to Washington? The state that always rains?” I ask in surprise. Although I can’t really talk, I moved from sunny Florida to Seattle, but it wasn’t the weather I wanted to escape from. I actually miss the Miami sunshine.
“What can I say, I like rain.”
“That’s crap, nobody likes rain.”
“You
’re right, the rain sucks but Washington has a charm about it that I love and not to mention there isn’t a friggin’ cow in sight.” We both laugh out loud, and it’s scary at how at ease we are together. I don’t have any friends other than Caleb and even the friends I have had in the past, I have never had a bond like this with them. Instant, fun, and flirty; you can flirt with your friends, right? I flirt with Caleb all the time but then again Caleb doesn’t make my heart do somersaults like Doctor Bailey does.
“Well I better get going. Thanks again for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says with a smile.
I open the door and get out. Just as I’m about to close the door behind me, I suddenly remember I don
’t know his first name. I lean back in, popping my head back into the car. “What’s your name, your first name?”
He gives me one of his panty dropping smiles as he leans back into his seat.
“It’s Ashton.”
Doctor Ashton Bailey.
“Ashton,” I say, smiling. I really like how his name sounds rolling off my tongue. “Thanks.” I close the door behind me, waving at him while he watches me through the car window before I walk off into my apartment block.
I barely let myself into my apartment, when I hear a knock on my front door. To my surprise, I can see that it’s Ashton through the peephole. I open the door, smiling.
“I tried to shout you, you left your phone in my car.”
I hadn’t even realized I didn’t have it with me. Thank goodness he noticed.
“I thought it was in my purse, thank you.” He passes it to me, his fingers gently grazing mine. I jerk at the electric shock that his touch brings.
“No problem, Ava,
” he drawls. “It’s a good job I spotted it.”
We stand looking at each other for a moment and I feel as if I should invite him in, but I don’t. I can’t. It would be wrong. I don’t know if Caleb has come home yet and I do not want to explain why my baby’s doctor is inside my apartment.
“Well I better get going, sweet dreams, Ava.” I barely have chance to say goodbye when he suddenly turns away and walks off. I lean my hip against the doorframe, with my arms crossed, checking out his impressive ass as it swings side to side with every step he takes. Then suddenly he turns around and has a look of surprise on his face when he notices me watching him walk off. Embarrassed that I have been caught checking him out, I rush back inside and slam the door as hard as possible, finally taking a breath of relief.
I am officially going to hell.
The next week passes by in the blink of an eye, and before I even know it, my daughter, who still needs to be named, is now officially two weeks old and is improving drastically by the minute. We have had one minor setback during the past week. She had to have a blood transfusion for the anemia caused by her prematurity. Her red blood cells were dangerously low. I was told that preterm babies experience heavy blood loss with the frequent blood sampling, and considering she has to go through them on a daily basis, it was hardly surprising she had a decreased number of red blood cells. I was devastated when I was told they would have to perform a four hour blood transfusion, but like the trooper my baby girl is, she took it all in her stride. Her strength takes my breath away.
The next day she had dramatically improved, and her red blood cells
were finally at a stable rate. She is naturally putting on weight and now weighs just less than three pounds, a perfect weight for a baby of her age. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but knowing how far she has come in such a short amount of time, it leaves me feeling overjoyed with hope. Two weeks ago I thought I had lost my baby, but now she continues to fight for her life, and I can’t help but thank my lucky stars that she hasn’t been taken away from me.
Caleb’s leave ended, and he had to go back to work, so I am on my own for the majority of the day now. It is incredibly lonely sitting here on your own, but there is nowhere else on this earth I would rather be. Once he has finished work for the day Caleb comes to the hospital and spends at least four or five hours sitting here with me, and then when I am on the brink of a
bsolute exhaustion he literally has to drag me away from her. Even then I am always reluctant to leave.
Several times during the day, my mood is favorably improved when Ashton makes time out of his busy schedule to see me. I always catch him on his morning rounds, but knowing he personally wants to take time out to make sure I
’m okay, makes my feel things I know I shouldn’t be feeling. Shamelessly it is the second favorite thing I look forward to every morning when I arrive at the hospital. My first is obviously seeing my daughter, and once I have been assured by the nurses that she has had a successful night with no damaging complications, and I have stared mindlessly at her for ten minutes straight, checking that every strand of hair on her tiny little head is still intact, my mind automatically goes to him. I can’t help, but smile, counting down the minutes until I can see his handsome face again. It thrills me. The anticipation of waiting for his presence sends me into an unruly frenzy, but when he eventually surprises me with a visit, I swear to God, the smile he gives, the big, bright and dazzling smile that is reserved only for me, gives me the impression that coming to see me is one of his favorite parts of the day, too.
He makes it his mission to make me laugh, and he always succeeds. The first thing he does is suggest name, a name that could be a great candidate for my baby. The names he comes up with are incredible, and it tugs at my heart that he has taken it so seriously; something that originally started out
as a joke just to cheer me up. This morning’s name is Lola-Rose and I smile at him and just shrug. That is my daily response. It is a beautiful name though, but I won’t tell him that. I never do.
He sighs frustrated, yet laughing at my response. “Ava, you’re killing me here.”
“Well, you should try harder then,” I say, crossing my arms and leaning back into my seat, chuckling under my breath.
“You’re a tough woman to crack, did you know that?” he says exasperated at my obvious stubbornness. I nod, and my eyes follow him as he finally approaches me. An audible gasp leaves me as I feel his forefinger lightly stroke my bare arm. My heart almost takes off out
my chest. “You okay?”
I gulp as I take a glance at his beautiful finger as it continuously caresses my arm. His touch affects me immediately as a tremor of goose bumps feather up and down against my sensitive skin, leaving me breathless.
I look up and meet his gaze. “Yeah, I’m, great…perfect,” I stammer on my words as he looks me deep in the eyes with a mixture of hunger and affection.
“Yes, you are.” I almost swallow my own tongue at his compliment, and I have to turn away from him, smiling, trying my best to compose myself. My heart is on dangerous territory with this beautiful man, and I am extremely worried about the way he makes me feel. I know I should ask him to back off, but I can’t. He has become my daily addiction, and with Sebastian not here, I feel a pull, a magnetic pull that is too strong to stay away from. I feel a little guilty though, having feelings like this for another man, but our new friendship is totally innocent and I will make sure it stays that way. I purposely try and avoid his gaze as he walks over to my daughter, looking down on her.
“The nurses weighed her today, she is two pounds, fourteen ounces,” I announce proudly when I finally find the courage to speak again. “Although you probably already knew that.” Seeing as though he’s my daughter’s doctor and all.
He smiles.
“It’s awesome. Way to go baby girl, you’ll be a little porker before we know it,” he says to my daughter, and I can’t help but swoon over how amazing he is with her. He steps away and traces his eyes over my features. Then, after a long uncomfortable assessment of me, his mouth turns into a frown. “When was the last time you had a decent meal?”
I frown. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me that. And then it makes me think, and I honestly can’t remember the last time I ate anything other than cracker jacks. I haven’t been that hungry lately, plus the hospital food isn’t that great. When I don
’t answer, he sighs. “Tell me to mind my own business but you must have lost at least nine pounds since last week. That isn’t healthy.” I know he’s right, but I can’t help but snap at him. It isn’t any of his fucking business, and I don’t need somebody criticizing my weight and food habits.
“Mind your own business,” I retaliate as I rise and go to stand beside my daughter. He actually has the decency to snicker at me. Suddenly he comes up from behind me, pressing
his incredibly firm chest against my back. I can’t help but lean into him and close my eyes, enjoying the way his body feels against mine.
He whispers in a low voice, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any offense, Ava.” The way he drawls my name almost has me in a puddle at his feet. “But could I take you for some lunc
h? You really do need to eat.” I sigh. It is very tempting, but I can’t leave my daughter. If something happened…
“I can’t leave her,” I whisper painfully. Gosh, the idea of leaving her is unsettling. I don
’t even like leaving her when I need to use the restroom. I feel unshed tears begin to build-up in the corner of my eyes. I cannot leave her, I just can’t.
“It’s only for half an hour, Ava.”
“I can’t leave her, I’m sorry.” It feels physically impossible to leave her. It might be irrational on my behalf, but I don’t care, I am her mother, and it’s a mother’s job to stick by their child, through thick and thin.
He sighs and
I can feel his breath tingle against my neck, causing me to shiver. “Okay, but I’ll be grabbing lunch around two if you change your mind.” Without saying another word, he walks away leaving me yearning for his touch.
I understand tha
t it isn’t normal to spend more than twelve hours a day at the hospital, but I feel that any fraction of a second I am away from her, she will be taken away from me. I constantly have an anxious pit of sickness in my stomach, a feeling that something bad is going to happen and for the sake of my sanity, I would prefer to stay here.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” I mumble to my daughter as she sleeps peacefully inside her incubator. I ask the nurse if I can hold her and she assists with the wires that are attached to my daughter as I take her out of the incubator and clutch her gently to my chest before taking a seat in the rocking chair. I look down to her tiny body snuggled perfectly in-between my breastbone, and like every other time, it takes my breath away. Words simply cannot describe the feeling it brings to see her in my arms while her strong little heart beats along with mine. It is truly incredible and mesmerizing to watch.
After spending quality time with my girl, once she is tucked safely into the cocoon of her incubator, I find myself falling into the Ashton mind trap. I glance up to the clock in the middle of the room and notice it’s five minutes after two. Oh good, I might still be able to catch Ashton for lunch. That is if I actually have the courage to leave my daughter for a little while. I begin to fidget nervously with my fingers. “Um, would I be a terrible mother if I left her for a little while to grab some food, I’ll be twenty minutes, half an hour at the max, I won’t be long, I promise.” I say to the nurse beside me. God, I sound like a bad mother even contemplating it.
“Of course not, you need to eat.” She smiles, then frowns as if my w
ords have only just registered. “Is that what you think? If you leave her side to grab some lunch, that you’re a terrible mother?” Well yes. I don’t even need to answer her, my trembling lip answers for me. “Oh, Ava.” She takes a step towards me and places a comforting hand against my arm. “Listen to me, you’re a fantastic mother. You’re here every morning by eight o’clock, without fail and then you don’t leave until at least ten o’clock most nights. You are the most committed mother in this place, and I don’t mean any disrespect to any of the other mothers here, but you’re one of the best mothers I’ve ever met. Do you hear me? You’re like superwoman to that beautiful child of yours. I don’t know how you do it, and I do my fair share of brutal shift work. I see how much you love her and how much you’re fighting along with her, and you are pretty much doing it alone. You’re entitled to a break. So go, grab some lunch, have a moment for yourself,” she says with a smile, and I can’t help but wrap my arms around this lovely nurse and squeeze the hell out of her.
“Thank you,” I mumble, then she grabs my purse from the floor beside the
incubator and shoves it into my arms.
“
Now, go,” she says.
After a brief emotional goodbye to my daughter, I finally make my way down to the cafeteria. As I walk through the cafeteria doors, it takes me a moment to find him, but when I do my heart does a double take. He literally takes
my breath away. I don't know if he can sense my presence or not but the moment my eyes fall on him, he turns to look at me. He looks a little surprised at my sudden appearance but then his mouth turns up into a smile, pausing his conversation with another doctor, a pretty doctor might I add. I would feel extremely jealous if it weren’t for the bright and affectionate smile he is throwing my way. I see the way the doctor looks at him, she obviously likes him, but I can’t keep the triumphant smile from my face that I’m the reason that his face just lit up.
He glances down at his wrist as if looking down at a watch, shaking his head and mouthing, “You’re late,
” and I can’t help but laugh. He says something to the doctor beside him, stands up while picking up his tray of food and heads in my direction. She looks far from happy as she watches him approach me, but I couldn’t care less.
“Hey,” he says, meeting me half way, placing the tray onto an empty table.
“Hey, to you.” I smile as I pull out a seat and sit down. He follows my lead and sits next to me. I look down at his tray and laugh at the array of food he has piled on it. It could feed an army of five thousand. “You hungry?”
He chuckles at my question.
“I’m starving, but this isn’t all for me. It’s for you too. I knew you didn’t want to leave Miss Stir Mix-a-Lot, so I was going to bring you up some food and leave it in the family kitchen, just in case you got hungry. So you changed your mind, huh?”
I nod, a little sheepishly.
“Yeah. I overreacted earlier, I’m sorry.”
“Ava, there isn’t anything to be sorry about, I understand your reasoning, but I am glad you changed your mind, the doctor I was sitting with wouldn’t shut the hell up.”
I glance back towards the table he was originally seated at, and I can’t help but chuckle under my breath. “Hmm, would that be the doctor who is currently staring daggers at me and probably wishing I was dead?” He takes a glance in her direction in shock. He obviously didn’t notice that.
He grumbles somethi
ng inaudible, shaking his head. “Yes, that would be the one. I’m sorry, she…kind of has a thing for me,” he says with a roll of his eyes.
“Do you have a thing for her?” I blurt out without thinking.
He almost chokes on the sandwich he just took a bite off and I flush all over. “Ah, hell no.”
“She’s that bad?” I ask half amused, half intrigued.
He finally swallows his food and takes a sip of his drink through a straw. “Let’s just say she has a bit of a reputation in this place, with the other doctors.”
I chuckle, understanding.
“What, hot, incredible sex in the on-call rooms?”
He howl
s with laughter at my question. “You’re funny,” he says through his chuckle, causing me to laugh along with him. “Yeah, something like that.”
“
Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I have the box sets of Grey’s Anatomy and hot, steamy sex in the on-call rooms are a frequent pastime for the surgical residents.”
He raises his ey
ebrow, giving me a quirky grin. “Really? I’m gonna’ have to check it out on Netflix,” he says in a flirtatious tone, winking as he pops a potato chip into his mouth.