Lord Sinister (Secrets & Scandals Book 3) (26 page)

“I don’t know,” Julian said, “she’s in some kind of pain.”

“In here.”  The doctor led them into one of the examination rooms.  “Set her gently on the table.  Yes, that’s it, my lord.”

When Julian placed her down, a fresh surge of pain welled up, and she groaned.  Taking deep breaths, she willed herself not to lose consciousness.

“Mrs. Sinc—Lady Amersleigh,” Dr. Landon said as he hovered over her, his features etched in concern.

“Amelia,” she said on a shaky whisper.

“What is wrong with her?” Julian asked from the other side of the table.

The doctor shook his head.  “I’m not sure.”  He glanced back down at her.  “Amelia, I must remove your coat.”

Nausea swelled up from her stomach and she forced it back, swallowing several times, then nodded.  She hadn’t realized she hung on to Julian’s hand until he brought her white knuckles up to his lips.  He looked frightened.  Perhaps her eyes played tricks, the pain making her see things that weren’t there.  Could Julian really care for her?

“Here, my lord, assist me with this coat,” Dr. Landon said.

In jerky movements, Julian nodded.  Pressing one last kiss across her knuckles, he released her hand and carefully pushed her arm through the armhole.  As the coat fell apart, she watched his eyes shift to her swollen middle and grow wide.  He sucked in a quick breath, then cut his gaze to hers.

He hadn’t known about the baby?

As Julian stood there frozen, Dr. Landon leaned down.  “Are you bleeding, Amelia?”

She forced her eyes from her husband.  “No.”

Dr. Landon looked relieved.  “Where exactly does it hurt?”

Her hand moved over the bottom right side of her belly.  “It’s a sharp constant pain, though not as severe as it was when it first struck.”

The doctor reached out and gently pressed.

Amelia reared up, covering her mouth with her fist to stifle the scream.  From the corner of her eye, she saw Julian shoot forward.  Then the spinning room filled with darkness.

CHAPTER 26

Julian watched her sleep.  The dim light of the lamp caressed her face in golden silkiness.  From somewhere in the house, a clock gonged three times.  He leaned forward in the chair, propping his elbows on his knees, and settled his lips against her petal soft cheek.

She stirred and he leaned back, watching her eyes flutter open.  Starkly beautiful blue eyes focused on him, now free of pain.  Her soft, pink lips parted and whispered his name.

“I am here,” he said softly, taking one of her hands in his.  His thumb found the fresh calluses on her fingers, but he kept the frown from his lips.  He didn’t wish her to see his displeasure and get the wrong impression.  “Dr. Landon says it was a spasm in a muscle that caused you such pain.”  He swallowed hard.  “Your muscles in that area are being pulled, and with all the walking you did...”

Amelia’s other hand lifted and settled over his cheek.  “You didn’t know?”

He laid his hand over hers.  “Know what?”

“About the baby.”

He shook his head.

Her dark brows drew together.  “Then why did you come?”

“You honestly don’t know?”

“No,” she whispered, her hand falling away.  “But I’d like you to tell me.”

Julian took a slow, deep breath.  This was it.  He’d tell her and she would…  Oh, God, what if she didn’t believe him?

“Julian?”  Her eyes widened.  “What is it?”

He took both of her hands in his.  “There is something I have to tell you.”  Pausing, he licked his dry lips.  “And you must believe me.”

“Is it Alex?”  She looked scared.

“No, no.  Alex is well.”

She closed her eyes.  “Oh, thank goodness.”

“Amelia.”  His voice grew husky, and her eyes flew open.  “I—”

The door opened and Dr. Landon slipped into the room.  “You’re awake,” he said as he reached the bed.

Julian gave the doctor a sour look.  Just when he’d gotten up the nerve to tell Amelia how he felt about her…

“Feeling better?” the doctor asked, looking too bloody lovingly on his wife.  Julian gritted his teeth.

She nodded.  “Much better.  The pain is gone.”

Releasing her hands, Julian leaned back in the chair.  He folded his arms, not at all liking how the doctor stared down at Amelia with such tenderness.

“Good,” Dr. Landon said, “now rest.”  He glanced over at Julian.  “Both of you.”  Then he left.

When the door closed with a soft click, Julian swiveled back to his wife.  Her eyes drooped from fatigue.  “He’s right, you need to rest.”

“What did you want to tell me?” she asked.

“It can wait until tomorrow.”  He stood and moved silently to the window.  Icy raindrops tapped softly against the glass panes.  After a couple of minutes, he closed his eyes.  “Amelia, I love you.” He turned to measure her reaction, to see if he’d made a terrible mistake with the admission.  She slept soundly, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm, her dark lashes fanning across pale cheeks.

He staggered back to the chair.  “Please,” he caressed the side of her face with his fingertips, “please love me back.”

****

Amelia cracked open her eyes, surprised to find Julian slumped in the chair beside the bed, asleep.  He couldn’t be very comfortable, his large frame crammed into such a small space.  From the way his chin rested on his chest, he’d have an awful crick in his neck.  In the dimness of the lamp’s light, she studied his features.  A lock of black, wavy hair drooped over his forehead.  She itched to smooth it back, but she resisted the urge.  Beneath his eyes were dark smears of fatigue, causing her to wonder if his lack of sleep had been concern for her?  It couldn’t be, she decided, continuing with her inspection.  He needed a shave.  Black whiskers blanketed his cheeks, chin and down his neck.  Then she focused on his slightly parted lips.  A thrill ran through her, settling in the pit of her stomach when she recalled those lips on hers, tasting and nibbling.  She closed her eyes, trying to blot the images of their lovemaking from her mind.  No use.  They would remain branded in her head forever.  Just as Julian would be branded in her heart forever.

She turned her head and sighed, wanting to weep and scream at the same time.  How unfair!  The only man she loved, would ever love, wouldn’t love her back.  And she couldn’t get away from him.  Her hand moved over the roundness of her stomach.  Especially now that he knew about the babe.

The thought that she should run fast and far assailed her, but just as quickly, she squelched the idea.  Having her baby in some ditch somewhere caused her to shudder in revulsion.  She took a deep breath and turned back to Julian.  He hadn’t moved.  She glanced down past the open vee of his shirt to his hands resting on the arms of the chair.  Strong, tanned hands, yet gentle.  And when they touched her…

Amelia gritted her teeth. 
Stop it!
  She moved her head from side to side as tears trickled from her eyes, raced across her temples and into her hair.  Her frustration made her want to howl.  Instead, she bit the inside of her cheek until she tasted the saltiness of blood on her tongue.  She blinked the tears away.  Enough of the self-pity.  Besides, she’d see Alex soon.

That thought brought calmness to the chaos within her.  Seeing her son would be the medicine she needed to heal her tattered heart.

Turning back to Julian, she watched him until her eyes grew heavy and would no longer stay open.

Then something brought Amelia awake.  She blinked several times, and turned her head.  Julian was gone.  From downstairs, the wail of a wounded child rose, followed by a woman’s cry to help him.  Amelia flung back the blanket and looked around for her dress.  Finding it lying across a chair in the corner of the room, she put it on as fast as her stiff fingers would let her.

After making it safely down the stairs, she tied her hair back with the ribbon she found in her pocket and entered the examination room.  The wails of both mother and child grew loud as she opened the door.

Julian held the mother against his chest as she sobbed hysterically against him.  Dr. Landon stood over the baby, who couldn’t have yet been two years old, trying to peel away the burned clothes from his skin.  The child shrieked at the top of his lungs.

Amelia swallowed as the smell of burnt flesh hit her.  She shook her head, fighting the urge to turn around, and forced her feet to move in the direction of the child.

“Amelia, you shouldn’t be here.” Julian’s voice rose over the wailing woman.

She turned.  “Get her out of here.”  As he opened his mouth to argue, she shook her head.  “She’s upsetting the child.”

Julian glanced at the burned baby and swallowed, then gave a nod.  He dragged the woman across the room.  Reaching the door, he turned, his eyes pinched in concern.  “Don’t over do it.”  Then he left, the woman’s screams growing dim as he took her from the house.

Amelia had no time to wonder at Julian’s odd behavior as Dr. Landon needed assistance with the child.

Several hours later, Amelia sank down into a chair.  Her body shook with fatigue.  The child, doused with laudanum, had finally fallen into a fitful sleep.  His left side, from shoulder to foot, would forever carry burn scars, but he’d live.

The door opened.  Expecting to see Julian enter, Jack stood in the doorway.  She came slowly to her feet.  When Dr. Landon nodded, indicating he would watch the child, she stepped from the room and closed the door.

“I have been so worried,” she said, trying to keep her voice down.  “Where have you been the last two months?  Why did you just disappear like that?”

Jack, looking about as serious as she’d ever seen him, cocked his head to the side.  “It looks like I’m not the only one who needs to do some explaining.”  His eyes dropped to her stomach, making it clear his meaning.

Amelia released a sigh and headed toward Dr. Landon’s study.  “Come with me.”

The faint odor of cigars and old leather books greeted her as she led Jack into the room.  Suddenly chilled, she walked to the fireplace and held out her hands to the warmth of the flames crackling in the grate.  Jack closed the door and came up to her side.  “Are you all right?” he asked, concern making his voice husky.

“Yes, I’m fine.”  She crossed her arms.  “Where were you?” she asked, nearly stamping her foot.

He shrugged, amusement replacing the worry on his face.  “Oh, usual pirate matters.”

Every ounce of anger Amelia felt evaporated at the reminder of how Jack had been forced to live.  She stepped up to him and put her arms around him, nestling her cheek against his chest.  “I wish things were different.”

His hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.  “So do I, Amy.”

A movement out of the corner of her eye had Amelia shifting her gaze toward the doorway.  Julian stood there, his eyes wide with surprise.  Then he backed away.

She pulled out of Jack’s embrace.  “Excuse me. There is something I need to do.”  She started toward the door, but halted.  “And don’t disappear again.”

Hearing the front door open and close, she started in that direction.  As she reached for the knob, her coat appeared over her shoulders.  “You’ll need it,” Dr. Landon said.

She nodded as she slid her arms through the sleeves and pulled the door open.  The cold air bit into every inch of exposed skin as she stepped outside.  She didn’t see Julian, but his foot prints were clearly visible in the ice-crusted mud.  Amelia snuggled deeper into the warm wool and stepped carefully to the ground.

The footprints ended at the boarding house.  Amelia opened the door and nearly ran into Mrs. Templeton.

“Oh, gracious, girl, you gave me a start.”

“Pray, forgive me, Mrs. Templeton, I didn’t mean to startle you.”  When the woman started to pass, Amelia halted her.  “Did my husband come in?”

The woman’s usual frown deepened.  She sighed and shook her head.  “Months ago, he says you aren’t his wife, then he arrives again yesterday and says you are…”

Amelia gaped.  “He was here before?”

Mrs. Templeton crossed her arms and gave a sharp nod.  “His lordship listened in on a conversation you were having with your cousin, then he told me you weren’t his wife and left.”

A tight knot settled low in Amelia’s belly.  She recalled exactly the lie she had told Jack.  The lie about wanting to be free of Julian.  Her shoulders drooped.  No wonder she’d received the nullity papers soon after that.

Glancing back at the frowning Mrs. Templeton, she asked, “Where is he?”

The lady nodded toward the parlor.

“Thank you,” she said softly as she walked past.

Her hand shook as she reached for the brass handle.  The door opened silently, and she entered with a slight hesitation, not knowing what she would say to say to Julian, how she would repair the damage done.

She noticed he stood before the fireplace, holding a glass in one hand, staring intently into the orange blazes.  With a deep breath, she closed the door and moved forward.  “Julian.”

He downed the rest of his drink before facing her.  “Is it mine or his?” he asked, a muscle ticking in his jaw.  “And I want the truth, dammit.”

Amelia stumbled back a step, surprised at the fury on his face.  “What?”  She gasped when he threw his empty glass into the fireplace, then she backed up as he began in her direction.  The wall halted her.  She pressed herself against the painted wood as her husband reached out and took her by the upper arms.

“The baby you are carrying,” he said in a low, deadly tone, “is it mine or Jack’s?”  He narrowed his eyes.  “And don’t lie.”

As hurt and anger washed over Amelia, she realized how the conversation he’d overheard moments ago between her and Jack must have looked.  Another thought, a crazy thought, entered her mind.  If she wanted to be free of Julian for good, all she had to do was say the baby was Jack’s.  It would be that easy.  Julian would continue with the suit to nullify their marriage and that would be that.

But it wasn’t that easy.

The longer she stared into his steely-gray eyes, the more she realized she didn’t want to be free of Julian at all.  She wanted to be his wife.  She wanted his love above all else.

Raising her trembling hand, she brought it up to his cheek.  “You are the only one I have ever given myself to.”

He shook his head.  “How do I know that to be the truth?”

“I didn’t lie about Alex eleven years ago and I am not lying now.  The eyes mirror the soul, Julian.  What do my eyes tell you?”  She looked steadily at him, willing him to see the truth.

After ten seconds of staring hard at her, Julian pulled her into his arms.  “Oh, Amelia, I’m sorry.”

She laid her head against his chest and allowed his warmth to seep all the way in to her heart.  She breathed his scent, tangy, earthy, spicy, and wished time would stop.  Locked in his arms forever would be heaven.  As she rubbed her cheek against the softness of his dark blue coat, a thought occurred.  She went still.  Then she lifted her head and looked up.  “If you didn’t know about the baby, why did you come?”