Love Beyond Words (City Lights: San Francisco Book 1) (19 page)

Another shared glance between them and Natalie turned on her heel. She took three steps before whipping around again, her purse slapping painfully at her thigh.

“Why do you hang out with me? To feel better about yourselves? To feel superior? Or is it just good old-fashioned pity?”

“Are you kidding me?” Liberty snapped. “You honestly believe that some rich schmuck who’s been hanging out at your café for six months is a prize-winning author? And not only that, he just
so happens
to be utterly gorgeous? And he just
happens
to be your favoritest author in the whole wide world? And he just
happens
to really, really love you too?”

“Shut up, Liberty,” Marshall intoned.

“Yes, I do,” Natalie said. “But I’m not going to explain it to you. Or tell you what I’ve seen to make me believe it
.
You both think I’m so pathetic? Look at you, Liberty. You can’t have what you want but you don’t change anything. You don’t do anything different. Just sit around in bars every night. You don’t even put yourself out there—”

“I don’t put myself out there?” Liberty screeched. She flapped her silk-sleeved arm back toward the club. “I
put myself out there
every goddamn night on that goddamn stage. You, on the other hand, fucked a guy who’s playing you like a fiddle. Congratulations. Welcome to the real world.”

Natalie recoiled at Liberty’s anger but stood her ground. “He is who he says he is. I’m not going to let you try to ruin something perfect with your insinuations—”

“Oh, so he’s
perfect
now?” Liberty snorted an ugly laugh. “Don’t make me barf.”

Natalie’s throat tightened. “I feel sorry for you.” She wanted to say more but was afraid of sounding petulant. Instead she said, “Don’t follow me,” and walked away.

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

Natalie heard the clip-clop of heels going the other way from her, then the release of chatter and music as Kyrie’s door opened and then slammed shut. Natalie tried to hold them back, but the tears fell anyway.

“Natalie, wait,” Marshall called after her in a forlorn voice. He caught up to her and his arms went around her. “We’re pigs.”

“Yes, you are.”

“It’s just a pretty huge, astronomical coincidence…” Natalie started to pull away but he held her tight. “But, I believe you. At least I think I do. And so does Liberty. She’s just bitter because…well, she’s just bitter.”

“She’s bitter because she loves you,” Natalie said. “And you know it.”

“What? No…”

“Marshall…”

He met her gaze for a moment, his lips pursed. Then he flung his hands in the air. “What am I going to do? I love the woman, infuriating though she may be. I think she’s talented and gorgeous and I want to spend all day with her. I just don’t want to fuck her.”

Natalie breathed a hiccupping sigh. He handed her his handkerchief. “Thank you.” She dabbed her eyes. “What
are
you going to do?”

“I haven’t a clue, but it doesn’t matter right now. This was supposed to be your night and we screwed it up.” He put his arm around her. “Is it really him? No joke?”

She nodded.

“But wait, I thought Mendón was over forty.” He raised a brow. “So he’s…an older man?”

“He’s twenty-eight. All that stuff about his age isn’t true. For his privacy.”

Marshall gave her a look. “You have to know how convenient that all sounds from where we’re standing, Nat.”

“I don’t care. I know the truth.”

“We’re just trying to protect you. Liberty too, in her own way.”

“I don’t need protecting, Marshall,” Natalie said. “Not from him. All this is just making me feel stupid. I have to go now.”

“No, don’t. I won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing you’re this upset. Just…tell me everything and start at the beginning.”

“I don’t want to now,” she said, leaning her head on his lapel. “I’m sorry.”
              He squeezed her tight and sighed. “Me too.”

#

“I’m here to see Julian.”

The security guard—Hank, she remembered—smiled warmly. “Of course, Miss Hewitt. Let me see if Mr. Kovač is in this evening.”

Natalie blew on her fingers. They were cold though her face felt flushed and hot, and when Hank allowed her access to the elevator, she had to hold herself back from running.

The elevator opened on his floor. Julian was waiting at the door for her.

“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow—” He stopped, his pleased expression morphing to concern. “Are you all right? Natalie, what is it? It’s happened, hasn’t it? You told your friends…”

She burst into tears. “And now that I’m here, I know it’s all true. And I’m so ashamed…”             

His arms went around her, his voice rumbled against her ear. “Don’t be ashamed. I understand. It’s precisely why it was so hard to tell you. It would be different if you didn’t love the writing so much. But you do, so there’s much more at stake.”

“Even so. I feel terrible.”

He said nothing but took her hand and led her into his bedroom, to the walk-in closet that was the size of her entire kitchen. It smelled of fine clothing and his cologne she loved so much. He crouched on his heels and pushed aside a hanging row of slacks to reveal a wall safe.

“Not even David has the combination,” he said.

Natalie knelt beside him as he turned the dial of numbers and opened the safe. He withdrew a leather portfolio and handed it to her.

“These are my contracts with Underhill Press,” he said. “The first, for
Above
, is on the bottom.”

Natalie opened the portfolio, shame burning her cheeks even as a thrill shivered over her skin.
It’s like buried treasure
, she thought, and that notion felt even truer as Julian held two golden medals out to her.

“National Book Awards for
Above
and
The Common Thief,
” he said.

She took them and held them in her lap.
So heavy…
She let her fingers trace the engravings.

“I have other papers…the certificates for the Awards, galley prints, early drafts of the
Starshine
poems…Whatever you want.”

Natalie looked up at him. “I’m so sorry.”

He smiled and cupped her cheek. “Don’t be. The certainty feels better than any shred of lingering doubt,
sí
?”

She nodded. "Thank you for understanding. My friends…they make me feel like I’m a stupid, silly child sometimes.” He frowned darkly but she leaned forward and kissed him.
“Maybe they’re right. I’ve missed out on so much. I want to experience all of it. Everything I’ve missed. I want it with you.”

“Okay.” He held her face, his impossible blue eyes taking her in, his thumb stroking her cheek. “I’m here.”

He kissed her then and she felt his love for her, as real as the gold in her lap and a thousand times more precious.

The following morning, Natalie sighed and watched the sunlight stream through Julian’s bedroom window. It fell over his dusky skin, played over the long lines of him, as he lay naked on the bed beside her.

“At the risk of sounding like a bastard, I need to send you home,” he said. “I have more to plan before our weekend starts.”

“You do?” Natalie frowned. “I thought we agreed on nothing fancy.”

“How about a little bit of everything? I have you until Monday morning. We’ve got a lot of time to make up for. Six months’ worth of dates I should have been taking you on…”

She silenced his regret with a kiss. “Will you call me a cab? I said I wanted to experience all of it, but a walk of shame isn’t what I had in mind.”

#

Julian didn’t call her a taxi, but a car from the service he favored, and stood with her as it pulled into the circular drive.

“Bring at least one pretty dress. I want to take you out on a proper date. Like the one we had on Christmas, but with a better ending.”

“Okay. But nothing too fancy, seriously, Julian. You don’t have to spend money on me.”

He pulled her close. “I want to. I’m
going
to. I love you, Natalie,” he said when she started to protest, “and I’m dying to lavish you. I won’t go overboard, I promise.”

He kissed her long and languidly, oblivious to the driver holding open the back door of the Mercedes sedan for her.

“I’ll see you soon.”

#

In her apartment, Natalie showered, then packed a small bag of clothes and sundries for the weekend. She laid her one “good” dress over it. It was her best vintage find, and not something she’d bought at a consignment shop. The black velvet dress had a gathered waist, ruched sleeves, and flowed to just above her knees. Faded lace trim at the neck and sleeves revealed its age. She had purchased it on a whim, from an online retailer, for $110, which was far more than her budget allowed. But she’d fallen in love with it and had to have it. It fit her petite frame to a T, but she’d never had a real opportunity to wear it until now. The pendant Julian gave her would compliment it beautifully she thought, and then bit her lip.

Marshall thought the pendant cost $6000. And now Julian wanted to spend even more money on her. Part of her thrilled at the notion; not for want of any gifts, but for the experience of venturing out into San Francisco on his arm. Perhaps a fine dinner and delicious wine. Maybe a swanky club, cocktails, and dancing. The thought made her giddy. As for gifts…
He promised not to go overboard.

The sedan returned at 6 p.m and the first thing she found when she climbed inside was the small-ish rectangular box sitting on the seat beside her. Natalie shook her head and read the card on top.

Don’t shake your head at me. Just open.

Love, J

Natalie burst out laughing and opened the wrapping. The gift was an iPhone, the latest model, white and sleek. The box had already been opened and the phone set up for her. The only number in it, so far, was his.

“You promised!” she said when he picked up with an innocent hello.

“A new phone is not overboard. Not even close. Have you
seen
your flip?”

“I like my flip!” Natalie laughed.

“So did the ‘90’s. Listen, did you bring a jacket?”

“This is San Francisco, right? I have a sweater and jacket, both.”

“Perfect. We’re on a time crunch here.”

“We are?” Natalie took in the lush interior of the luxury car.
Maybe we are. Maybe this coach will turn into a pumpkin at midnight…

“We are, and I’m extremely busy right now. Can’t talk. I’m going to text you a number and I need you to call it for me.”

“What? Who am I calling?”

“Okay, perfect, thanks very much. Love you. Bye.”

Natalie held the phone in her lap, smiling at it as if she were smiling at him. It chimed twice with the promised text. She tapped the screen, grudgingly pleased with how fast and efficient it all was—light years ahead of her old flip. The text was a phone number, underlined. She pressed it and the phone asked her if she wished to call it. She hit “yes” and put the flat rectangle of a phone to her ear.

“Golden Gate Charters, may I help you?”

“Um…hi.” Natalie said, mentally shaking her fist at Julian. “I…uh…”

“Do you wish to confirm a reservation?” the woman asked, and Natalie could hear the knowing tone in her voice.
She’s in on it.

“Yes, I do,” Natalie said boldly, and the faltered again when she realized she had no clue what to say next.
Damn him.

“Very good, Miss Hewitt. You and Mr. Kovač are confirmed for this evening, seven o’clock.”

“Uh, thank you.”

“Thank
you
.”

Natalie hung up and switched to the text screen.
Charter?

The reply was quick.
Charter? I don’t even know her!

She rolled her eyes, laughing.
Yuk yuk.

You look beautiful.

Natalie looked up. The sedan had stopped at Julian’s building and he stood on the curb, phone in hand. He opened the door, but instead of handing her out, he started to climb in.

“We’re going out now?” Natalie asked, sliding over the leather seats to make room. “My things…”

“Safe in the trunk, right Bruce?”

The driver nodded. “Yes, sir.”

Julian grinned, his eyes sparkling like blue topaz. “See? We’re all set.”

“Aren’t we just? Our reservations are confirmed tonight for seven,” she told him pointedly. “Whatever they may be.”