He ran his fingers across my wet cheek and his thumb over my quivering lower lip. I looked up at him with eyes full of tears. He brought his lips close to mine, searching my glazed eyes for permission to let him kiss me. I nodded silently. His lips descended on mine, he rained soft little kisses all over my mouth, then my cheek, then down to my chin. He cupped my face with both of his hands and continued kissing my nose, my eyelids, and then back to my lips for a deeper kiss. His tongue kept a steady pace, slowly dancing together with my tongue round and round. After what felt like a good hour, we pulled away from each other, panting and breathless.
"Baby, you still haven't said anything … does this mean I get a chance with you?"
I looked at him and needed to know once and for all. "Even if we won't sleep together, you still want me?" I was looking for a clue; any sign that
this
was not for me. That all this was a mistake, a delusion I had about us but I couldn't find any clues. I was just happy to be close to him.
"Em, I want to be with you so much, I'll take you any way I can get you. I don't want anyone else and I don't think I ever will; as crazy as that sounds. You've ruined me for all women … forever."
I smiled as he got out of the steamy car and walked over to my side to open my door and get me out. We walked into his house and he left me sitting on a huge brown leather couch on the fifth floor while he went upstairs to change. He came back a few minutes later, barefoot in soft black cotton sweatpants and a white tight ribbed tank. He smiled and asked me playfully, "Better?"
I laughed and said, "Perfect."
He sat next to me, propping his right leg so he was facing me. With his right hand extended over the back of the couch, he started playing with my loose hair. Louis took my hair and lowered his head to inhale my scent then said, "I spoke to Mike this afternoon. I let him know we were going to start dating each other. I hope to still have the chance to date you." He stopped, took a breath and continued, not looking me in the eye. "He wasn't thrilled when I told him I was trying to pursue you. He actually begged me to just walk away. He said, and I quote, 'Can't you find women who are not related to me to fuck around with?'
I deserved that, I've never had honorable intentions with women in the past."
"And your intentions are honorable toward me?" I asked, lifting my eyes to meet his and pinning his gaze.
"I told Mike he could bet his last dollar that I'm going to marry you someday, so he has nothing to worry about."
So, Louis Bruel was a comedian, too. I figured after that ludicrous comment everything was fair game.
"What did Mike say to that?" I asked, still not believing my ears.
"He said he's not a gambler and he doesn't know what game I'm playing, but if I hurt one hair on that beautiful head of yours he'll rip my balls out."
We both started laughing at that.
"I hope you get to keep your balls, Louis. I know you're very attached to them," I said, still laughing.
"I intend to walk out of this with my balls still attached and you by my side." We stopped laughing. He got serious and fixed my hair behind my ear. "I don't want to freak you out any more tonight but you need to know that I'm pretty sure I love you, Emily Marcus. I'm prepared to spend my whole life proving that to you. All I needed was one day with you to know I'll never want anybody else."
Tonight didn't play out the way I imagined. I was supposed to call Louis' bluff and keep my blooming emotions to myself. "Louis, I think I'm falling in love with you, too," I said and climbed into his lap, which somehow felt like the natural thing to do.
"Oh baby, this feels so good," Louis inhaled my hair, and nibbled on my bare shoulder. "Please don't do that to me again. I'm an old man, my heart can't take that shit."
"What shit is that?"
"I really thought you were ending things with me. I thought I'd fucked it all up. Em, don't let me fuck this up."
With his face still in my hair, I looked up at him, kissing him softly on the neck and asked, "So are you my boyfriend now?"
"I asked you to move in yesterday. I met your parents today. I told your brother-in-law I want to marry you and I just confessed to you that I love you. It's safe to say I'm whatever you want me to be."
"My favorite color is green, my favorite movie is
The Blue Lagoon,
I read
Pride and Prejudice
like eight hundred times … and I'm obsessed with ‘80s music," I said all in one breath.
"So you're a big romantic then. When is your birthday, Emily?"
"July 21
st
and I'll be nineteen," I answered. That got a big dimple-exposing, teeth-showing smile out of him.
"How about you—when is your birthday?"
Louis was still grinning like a wild man before he answered me, "Very nice, July 21
st
."
"No, I mean when is your birthday? Not mine."
"July 21
st
."
"Wait … your birthday is also July 21
st
? We have the same birthday?" I asked in complete shock.
"It would appear that we share a birth date, my lovely Emily. You see, you were made for me. You're my
bashert
, as my dad would've said."
I smiled. "My grandma says that, too." Hearing him use a word that I heard my nana use a million times felt like an omen from above. It felt like,
this, us,
was somehow written in the stars, even before we met. It was what Nana Rose always said:
Bashert is Bashert, no running away.
This was the sign I was looking for.
"You know, when I was little my dad use to tell me of how before a soul is born into this world it gets broken into two pieces. He said that for a soul to ever feel whole again it needs to find its missing part. Baby, you have to be my missing half."
We didn't visit his bedroom that night or see a movie in his movie theater. We just spent the night talking and laughing. I sat in Louis' lap all night. I think he wanted to prove to me that what we had between us wasn't just a physical thing. He wanted to show me that we could spend a whole evening in each other's company fully dressed and abstain from any sexual activity.
Louis drove me home at midnight. We were quiet on the ride home. We were both replaying and trying to absorb everything that unfolded between us tonight. My phone started ringing, disturbing the silence. I looked down to see Sara's name flash on my screen. I couldn't talk to her now in front of Louis. I had a lot of explaining to do for going AWOL on her for the last few days. I just let it ring and ring.
"Aren't you going to answer that?"
"Nope, it's Sara. I'll call her back tomorrow."
Louis raised a suspicious eyebrow my way but said nothing. A minute later the phone started ringing again.
Fuck Sara, give me a break
. Louis still had his eyebrow raised trying to figure out why I was dodging my best friend's call.
"Hi, I didn't forget about you. Let me call you back when I get home."
I closed my phone before giving Sara a chance to answer, only to have the little bitch call again as soon as I hung up. I knew what she wanted.
"Hi Sara. Sorry, I'll return your Roxette disc with
Listen To Your Heart
first thing in the morning." I heard Sara trying to mumble something before I disconnected. I looked over to find Louis trying to stifle a grin. I wasn't about to explain this to him or anyone else. When we got to my house he unhooked his seatbelt and got out of the car to help me out. I was already out waiting for him. He pulled my hips close to him with both hands.
"I love you, Emily. God, it feels so good to say those words to you." He lowered his lips to mine, shutting me up before I had a chance to respond to his declaration of love. I had to get home and compose my emotions. We pulled away. I ran halfway up my parents' steps before I heard Louis humming one of my favorite songs. I turned around to catch his sexy voice singing out loud as he was moving around his car to the driver's seat.
"Once in your life you'll find her, someone who turns your heart around and next thing you know you're closin' down the town."
He winked at me, still singing as he got into his car and drove away, leaving me dazed and confused.
I stood leaning on my front door watching his car take off as I finished the song he started:
Wake up and she's still with you, even though you left her way across town. You're wonderin' to yourself hey what've I found.
Louis Bruel just sang Christopher Cross'
Arthur's Theme
song to me … maybe we will get married!
I called Jenna that night when I came home.
"Emmy, I know," she said, before I even got a chance to say hello.
"What do you know?" I asked her, not sure how this conversation was about to go down.
"Louis called Mike today. He told him that he loves you. He promised that he would never hurt you. Mike said he sounded very serious. Like marriage serious."
"Am I crazy, Jen? I love him too, I think. I've only known him for a few days, but I feel so right when I'm with him. He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. It feels genuine, the things he says to me. I don't know why but I really feel safe with him. Am I being naïve? Is this how all men are?" I asked my sister, a little scared and lost in my growing emotions for Louis.
"Emmy, from what Mike told me about him and other women, I think he's fallen for you hard. I mean, you need to be smart, obviously, and take your time. It seems you both have strong feelings for each other. You have to see where it goes. Listen, just because he was a total dick with every other woman before you doesn't mean he will be like that with you. Every relationship has risks; there are no guarantees. No one can promise you that it will work out for you guys. But I hope it does."
"Do you think I'm special enough for him? I mean, he's so much better looking than me. You know, he's the total package." I needed someone other than Louis to reassure me that I was pretty enough and worthy of him.
"Emmy, he's the one who doesn't deserve you. You're young, beautiful, smart, sweet, and innocent. Please don't sell yourself short. You're not some slut or a gold digger who's just after his money. You come from a great family that supports and loves you. He knows and acknowledges that. I'm sorry about what I said today at brunch. I didn't think he was so serious about you. I just didn't want you to get hurt and get your hopes up over him ever committing to you. But I was wrong and I take it all back."
"Thank you, JenJen. I really needed to hear that from someone other than Louis."
"I love you, Emmy. Mike and I are always here for you. I can't believe my little sister is dating
The
Louis Bruel. Go big or go home."
My next middle of the night phone call was to Sara. She picked up on the first ring.
"I'm not talking to you until you tell me everything. The one time you actually get some and what do you do, Emily Marcus? You shut me out. Don't forget I was there helping you pick out the dildo version of Louis Bruel."
"If you want to hear about my crazy weekend stop talking and listen." That finally shut her up. Let's see where should I begin? Oh yeah: "Louis Bruel told me he loves me tonight. He asked me to move in with him last night, and told Mike this morning he's going to marry me. Any questions?" Silence … holy shit, I've rendered Sara Klein speechless, no ‘80s songs required.
*****
True to his word, Louis didn't once try to coerce me into having intercourse with him. He never even asked me to sleep over at his house after that night. I was only back on the sixth floor and in his bed once. I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to change into a suit for a party we were attending together. All very innocent. I worked for my sister during that month, but only on events for Louis' firm. "Coincidently," Mike and Jenna changed the Crown Affairs uniform to a white button-down shirt instead of the tight white tank top. Jenna said it was Mike's idea, but I think Louis talked him into keeping me clothed and on the unemployed side. I can't say I minded. I only agreed to that job because I wanted to see him in the first place.
I remember a party that summer that his company was having at a penthouse on Central Park West. The apartment took up the entire top two floors of the building. Louis asked Jenna if it was okay for me to be his date and not have me work that night. He wanted to introduce me to some of his colleagues. He told me no one believed that he had a girlfriend. I knew they couldn't believe it was only one girl filling that post.
"Once my business partners get a glimpse of you, they'll know why I haven't been at work for the last two weeks."
That statement made me feel guilty. "Louis, I hope you hadn't been missing work because of me." In those last couple of weeks we'd spent almost every waking hour together. I blissfully and naïvely accepted the time Louis dedicated to me as the norm.
"What's the point of being boss if I can't allocate my own time as I see fit? Em, I spent the last five years of my life working like a dog day and night. I just realized I was preparing for you. I clocked in enough overtime to spend as much time with you as you'll let me."
Who says things like that? And why hadn't someone more qualified than me snatched him up already? I loved the attention I was getting as Louis Bruel's girlfriend. He wouldn't let go of my hand all night, introducing me to all as
his girlfriend
. Louis knew how to work a room. He commanded the attention of every eye; especially of the female variety, which followed his every move. The women were always a little covertly catty toward me, sending me sideways glances. They were no doubt thinking,
What's so special about this little nothing of a girl?
The men obviously wanted a better look at the girl who was able to capture the attention of their embodiment of Casanova. People who knew him were well aware of the kind of women Louis Bruel could have with his looks and means. I knew only a little of his reputation around town from what Jenna and Mike had told me. I'm sure that the reality of Louis Bruel as a bachelor was so much worse. I decided that ignorance was bliss when it involved my boyfriend's past transgressions.