Authors: Ruth Logan Herne
Chapter Sixteen
K
eira clung to his hand as Tanner eased himself down on the love seat. She couldn't keep her eyes off him. Couldn't believe he had done this. She knew how hard he had worked and how much he had sacrificed to make this final run to the NFR.
But now, instead of being saddled to the back of a snorting bronco, riding for his brother, he was here. He had thrown everything away to be with her.
Tanner squeezed her hand harder, his eyes still on her, then he turned back to the gathering.
“First off, before I say anything more, I want everyone here, Monty and Ellen especially, to know that I love Keira,” he said, his voice ringing with a conviction that created a quieting in her chest. “I don't want to be apart from her anymore and I'm hoping she feels the same way about me. I know we were engaged before, but this time around I feel like we both know what we want and how to keep it.”
“I know I do,” Keira said, returning his smile and in spite of the audience, kissing him gently, as if to seal her promise.
Tanner turned back to Alice.
“But now, there's something I need to discuss with you that concerns my and Keira's future. I haven't talked to you much about dad's will. I was afraid to face you. Afraid of finding out how you really felt about me, finding out how my father felt about me, so I avoided it.” He looked back at Keira and gave her another quick hug. “But I learned a lesson in facing fears from a very strong person.”
His words settled into her soul and for the first time in years she felt the shame of what had happened lose its strength.
“At one time I hired a lawyer to contest the will,” Tanner continued, talking to Alice. “But after David's death, I couldn't do that to you. So I dropped the suit. However, the ranch belonged to my father. That nothing of it came to me isn't right.”
Alice held his gaze a moment as if challenging him. “Your father owed me,” she said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
Alice's eyes ticked from Tanner to Keira as if she was still unhappy with the situation, but Keira simply held her gaze, refusing to back down. Tanner thought she was strong. Well, she could be strong with him beside her.
Alice wound her hands around each other, her eyes fixed on her twisting fingers. “Your father and I got married in California,” she said, her voice quiet as she moved to the past. “We met on a previous trip he made down there to look at some cattle. The reason he came back the second time was because I was pregnant. I told him he had to do something about it, so he married me. He wanted to do right by me, and he wanted someone to take care of you.”
Tanner's quick intake of breath and the look of surprise on her parents faces told Keira that this was truly all news to them. “Very few people know this,” Alice continued, “but that was why we got married. I know we fought a lot, but before he died, we had come to a kind of peace. And when he died, he willed the ranch to me with the idea that I would share it equally between you and David.”
Keira could only stare at Alice, growing even angrier with the woman. Her decision and subsequent favoring of David had had huge, long-lasting repercussions for her and Tanner. But it wasn't her place to say anything. Instead, she could only cling to Tanner, offering him the support she could.
“If that's true, why did you make it so clear that David was the one to get the ranch? Not me?”
“Like I said, I felt like your father owed me,” Alice continued, but she couldn't look at either Keira or Tanner. “I didn't want to live out here, but I had no choice. I hated every moment of it.”
“But you're still here,” Keira couldn't help but mention.
“I stayed because of David. I thought if something could come of this for David, then it would be worth it.”
“And where did I fit into your life?” Tanner's voice held an edge of steely resolve. As if he needed to get this out of the way.
“I came to care for you, too,” she said. Then she looked over at Ellen, as if hoping she would intervene for her. “I wasn't a bad mother. And as I got to know you and Monty, I started to think maybe I could stay here. You've both been such a help to me when Cyrus died and then when David died.”
“Of course,” Ellen said. “That's what friends do.”
“We care for you as a friend,” Monty was saying. “But I can't stay quiet about this any longer. I have to say we never understood how you could favor David over Tanner. You know, in your heart, that this isn't right. Tanner shouldn't have to earn what his father had entrusted you to give to him. I have been quiet about this and I was wrong to not say anything before. But if you examine your heart, you'll know that I'm right. You need to give Tanner half of the ranch, as Cyrus would have wanted it.”
Silence followed that proclamation and Keira felt a knock of pride against her ribs. Her father could speak with such quiet authority. How could Alice not pay attention?
“David was my son,” Alice said. “And he wanted so badly to ranch.”
“Tanner was your son, too,” Ellen said quietly. “And Tanner was a good son.”
But then Ellen glanced at Keira as if acknowledging the difference between Tanner and his brother. She gave her a careful smile and in that smile Keira recognized that whatever she decided to say or not say, her mother and father would stand behind her.
Alice released a careful sigh. “So what do you think I should do?” looking back at Keira and Tanner.
“I know I have always been just a stepson to you,” Tanner said. “But I know that in God's eyes I am valuable and I'm his son as much as any other person. I don't need to have your blessing but I want to appeal to your sense of honor. If you think I should buy you out, I will find a way to do that. If you want to do it differently, then we can discuss that. But I am not leaving anymore.” He glanced over at Keira, his eyes holding her. “I know that I belong here, with Keira, in the valley, and I'll find a way to make that happen.”
Her heart thrilled at the intensity in his voice, at the conviction in his words.
“But you were going to compete for David,” Alice pressed. “What about him? What about his memory? Doesn't that mean anything to you?” Then Alice turned to Keira. “Did you talk him out of this? Was this because of you?”
Keira heard her father's gasp, fought down her own surge of pain and anger as she felt Tanner's hand tighten on hers, knowing that while her own emotions had to be kept out of it, Alice needed to keep the focus on the future. Not the past.
“Tanner made the right decision,” she said, facing Alice head-on. “While I'm sad for his sake he didn't compete, I'm glad he didn't do it and, like he said, someday we'll explain why. But I had nothing to do with why he came back. That was his own call. And I'm glad he did. I know you loved David, but the sacrifices Tanner made for David were for the wrong reason and the wrong person.”
Alice looked baffled, as if trying to catch up to what Keira was saying.
“You also need to know that David and I never really dated,” Keira continued. “We went to a couple of parties together. I never, ever, had any intention of marrying him. He wasn't the man Tanner is and he never could be.”
“But he told me that he loved you.” Alice's voice held a note of pleading, as if she couldn't understand why Keira would choose Tanner over David.
Keira felt the old chill entering her soul. The old shame. Yet as they slipped up past her defenses she felt the warmth of Tanner's body beside her the support of his arm slipping around her shoulder, pulling her even closer.
She couldn't let this take over. She couldn't let David dominate her life anymore.
And then, in a flash of insight, as she held Alice's intent gaze, she had an inspiration.
“I know how David felt about Tanner. He looked up to him so much and idealized him. Remember how, when he was little, he used to wear Tanner's boots? His shirt? How he would pretend to be Tanner?” Keira leaned forward, pushing down her own emotions, praying for something she was saying to connect with Alice. She knew Alice thirsted for stories of David and though Keira's most current stories were not ones to share, she had others that she could. And in sharing those stories, Keira felt that she was, at the same time, loosening the stranglehold David's assault on her held on her memories.
“I forgot about that,” Alice said, a faint smile easing away the harshness that had tightened her features.
“He loved Tanner,” Keira said. “When he was five, didn't he put some dirt in his hair because he wanted it to be dark? Like Tanner's?”
“Remember that time I found that frog for him?” Tanner said, playing along.
“He put it in a jar and carried it everywhere.” Keira's laugh, this time, was more genuine as she hearkened back to happier, less complicated times.
Alice laughed, as well. “He did love that frog. I think he even called him Tanner.”
They all chuckled together a moment and in the background Keira caught her parents' puzzled looks. As if they couldn't understand what Keira was doing with the memories of a man who had done such a horrible thing to her.
But she ignored them and pressed on, a new determination entering her soul.
“We know David loved Tanner,” she said, turning back to Alice. “He worshipped him. And I don't think, in spite of all the things that happened, that David stopped loving his older brother. And I think that David would want for you to do the right thing with the ranch. With the brother he loved so much.”
Alice drew back a moment; as if suddenly unsure of the direction Keira had taken her and yet, even as wariness clouded her features, Keira could see she had struck a chord. “Maybe,” she said, still prevaricating. Still holding out.
But Keira held her gaze, determined to put recent memories aside for Tanner's sake. “I'm not asking for me. I'm asking for Tanner. He's the only son you've got left. David would want him to have the ranch. As much as I know about David, I know that to be true.”
She held Alice's puzzled gaze, felt Tanner's arm around her, and in that moment she felt as if David's grip on her memories had lost some of their strength.
Then Alice blinked and Keira saw a track of moisture trickle down her cheek. “You know, I think you may be right.” Then she gave Tanner a wan smile. “I'm sorry I didn't talk to you sooner about this. I guess I still was clinging to my memories of David and was too wrapped up in my own loss. Will you forgive me?”
The question hovered and Keira knew, for a fact, that someday they would have to tell her about David.
But not yet.
“Of course I forgive you,” Tanner said, getting to his feet and bending over to give Alice a quick hug. “You're the only mother I have.”
She sniffed and nodded. “Thank you for that. And I know what I have to do. With the ranch. It was your father's, after all.”
“But we can talk about this more later.” Tanner turned to Keira and held out his hand. Keira put hers in it as he gently pulled her to her feet. “As for you and me, we have other things to discuss.”
Keira's heart thrilled with the promise in his voice and the love in his eyes.
Then she followed him out of the room and to the porch, where they threw on some coats, boots and hurried out to the shop.
* * *
Tanner set himself down on the old office chair that was tucked up against the desk in the workshop. Then, with a smile, he pulled Keira onto his lap and eased out a long, satisfied sigh as he wrapped his arms around her.
“So, this is where my latest adventure started,” Tanner said, holding Keira close, tucking her head under his chin. “I think it only appropriate that this is where I hope to put a happy ending to this part of our story.”
Keira chuckled, her throaty voice thrilling his soul. Then, after a few moments of silence, she traced gentle circles on the button of his pocket. “Do you think Alice will really give you the ranch?”
“I think she will. I think what you said made a difference.” He held her closer, if that was even possible. “I can't believe you were able to pull out those old memories. I thought even saying his name would be difficult for you.”
Keira heard the faint thumping of Tanner's heart below her ear, a steady solid rhythm. Just like the man who held her and his arms felt like home.
“I don't want David to have any hold over me, and bringing up those memories reminded me that, at one time, he was just a cute, fun kid who loved and looked up to you.”
Tanner felt a surge of admiration for this amazing woman who lay in his arms, a miracle in so many ways.
Then, ignoring her protests, he straightened, setting her upright. “But let's not dwell on the former things,” he said, appropriating the text she'd underlined in her Bible. “I have something important to do right now,” he said quietly, unbuttoning the pocket of his shirt.
He dug around then carefully pulled out the engagement ring he had once given Keira. As it sparkled in the light, he heard Keira's indrawn gasp of surprise.
“You still have it,” she breathed, one hand resting on her heart as if to contain it.
He turned it around, letting it catch the light. “Yeah. I couldn't get rid of it. It's been sitting in a box beside my bed since you gave it back to me. I got it when I went back to check on the garage. I took it with me to the NFR. Thought it would inspire me. And it did. It inspired me to make my decisions for you and for me.” He took her hand, held it up and then looked into her eyes. “Keira Bannister, once again I'm going to ask you, will you marry me?”
Keira's lips trembled, then she nodded her head as he slipped the ring on her finger. “And once again I'm going to say yes.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, he held her close and they exchanged a kiss that sealed the promise. She drew back, tracing his features with her fingers, her eyes holding his. “I should never have broken up with you the first time,” she said. “I promise, I'll stick with you through everything.”