Love Is Overdue (37 page)

And so, over our sober Scrabble match
that afternoon, I finally told her everything about Ben – aside
from any sexual details, as that gene had definitely skipped a
generation. I also kept his financial offer to myself. She would
have hit the roof if she knew.

“
I want to meet
him.”

Her voice startled me, after an
intense silence, focusing on our plays.

“
Ben?” I looked
up.

“
Yes. You haven’t had
anything bad to say about him – that doesn’t seem
right.”

I smiled. “Maybe that’s why it is
right.” I frowned down at my letters. It always confused me playing
in English while trying to speak and think in
Portuguese.

“
That’s ridiculous.” My
mother rolled her eyes at me. “Love is blind, Gabriela. Worse than
that it can make you very stupid too.”

I glared at her. “Why can’t you just
be happy for me? Is that so hard?”

She sighed. “Fine.” She gave me a
resigned look. “You know best.”

I stared back at her. “What is it now?
You’ve been in a bad mood since I got here.”

“
They’re releasing me. I
said I wanted to tell you myself.”

“
What?” I wasn’t prepared
for this. “When?”

“
A few days. Maybe a
week.”

My mind was racing. “Ummm…I’m looking
for another apartment, I don’t know if Teresa told you.”

She just nodded slowly.

“
I’ll have it all figured
out – don’t worry, Mama. Anyway…” I took a deep breath. “I have a
surprise.”

She glanced up at me, eyeing me
suspiciously.

“
Lazaro will be here on
Wednesday.”

I waited, watching my words register
on my mother’s face.

“
Why?”

“
Why?” I repeated, not
understanding. “Mama, Lazaro hasn’t been home in years! He’s coming
to see us, that’s why…”

The look on her face didn’t change. I
kept waiting for her speak, to say something, but she didn’t. And
eventually she just shook her head slowly and started to
cry.

Chapter
Seventeen

I hadn’t heard from Ben all day. By
the time I got home it was nearly 8 pm and I knew the festival
would be winding down. I texted him as soon as I collapsed in the
living room and switched on the television.

An hour or so later he still hadn’t
replied so I decided to call. He picked up on the fourth ring.
“Hey.”

I rolled my eyes at his abrupt
greeting. “Hey…what’s up? How is everything?”

I heard him let his breath out deeply.
“I’m tired,” he said simply. “Got your text, I just had some shit
going on, sorry…”

“
It’s okay…so what time you
there till?”

“
We’re packing up
now…”

I smiled. “Need a back rub?” I
offered.

I heard him let out a little laugh.
“You good at that?” he asked me.

I thought. “I would assume so yes. I’m
sure it’s not that difficult…”

“
Hmm…” He sighed softly.
“Well I guess I’ll have to take you up on that then…”

My heart rate quickened. I missed him.
I needed him. I wanted him so badly I could scream…and yet, I’d
only said goodbye to him that morning. This was too
much…

“
But I think I’m just gonna
crash tonight, baby.”

“
Oh.” My heart sank.
“Okay.”

“
How is your
mom?”

His concern made me feel a bit better.
“She’s okay, I guess. She said she wants to meet you.”

Shit. I bit my tongue. Probably not
the best time to bring that one up…

He paused briefly.
“Wow…okay…”

“
We can figure that all out
another time,” I said quickly, cutting him off.

I heard some noises in the background
then. Voices. Someone was talking to him and he became distracted
for a moment. “No, just move ‘em to the back so we can get the
grill up…” Ben was talking now. “Awright…cool…” Slight pause again.
“Baby, I gotta go,” he told me then.

I sighed. “I know, it’s okay. Don’t
work too hard…”

“
I’ll call you
later.”

“
Bye…” I let my breath out
and put my phone away.

The sound of my phone buzzing on the
coffee table jolted me awake. I’d passed out in front of the TV.
What time was it?

I grabbed my phone and sat up slowly,
trying to focus. 11:45 pm. I checked the text. Tasha? What was she
texting me for at this hour?

here at Jam Hall too? If so where you at?>

Jamaica Hall? What? I was
lost.

I
hit reply.
there. Why? What’s going on?>

My phone buzzed a minute later.
Saw your man here so thought maybe you were too.>

My heart sank. Ben? My head was
spinning. I thought Ben was tired and was going home to bed…or so
he had said…

I
hit reply.
Ben was there. Did you talk to him? You sure it wasn’t his
brother?>

I set my phone down. I started to get
a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My phone
buzzed.

him. And as a black woman I am uniquely capable of telling the
difference between two different black men even if they are
brothers. LOL>

I
sighed, unable to find any humour in her joke.

I was not in the mood for any more idle
texting.

I grabbed my phone and headed for the
bathroom. As I peed and brushed my teeth I couldn’t help
remembering what had gone on in that room the previous night. Ben
had been right. I did hate this bathroom a little less
now…

I was choking up at the thought of him
lying to me. Why? I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

I fought the urge to text or call him.
I just needed to sleep. I had to work in the morning. I had to find
an apartment to move into in less than a week. The impossibility of
all this shit was wearing me out… And why would Ben have offered
what he did if he didn’t care about me? There was a perfectly
logical explanation for everything. There had to be.

So as I got into bed I made sure to
rest my phone on my night table right next to me. I put the ringer
back on and desperately tried to will myself to sleep, at the same
time trying to will my phone to ring.

My eyes sprang open with a start as my
phone finally sounded. I grabbed it quickly and checked the time.
2:30 am. It was Ben. My heart started pounding furiously as I
opened the message.

awake?>

That was it? I stared at the screen
for a good minute brooding. Then I just shut it off and rolled over
and went back to sleep.

Ω

The work
morning dragged. I tried to focus but my head was not cooperating.
I’d heard back from the property manager. The apartment was no
longer available. What the fuck was I going to do? I thought about
texting Ben the news but then the previous night came flashing back
and I decided against it.

I was glad things were slow on Mondays
because I kept zoning out, staring at my computer screen and
pretending to work for long periods of time. Jeannine kept pulling
me from my pity party with her boring play-by-play of her fabulous
weekend in Victoria with her husband Bill and their two-year-old
twin boys. I actually really liked Jeannine and normally would have
humoured her and not really minded her ridiculously drawn-out
stories. She reminded me of my high school Algebra teacher, with
her eighties perm and feathered bangs and her pleated polyester
suit-pants. Her laugh was infectious and she was always in a good
mood, which I generally really appreciated about her, but that
morning I could have strangled her. She was driving me fucking
crazy.

I refused to reply to Ben’s text and
he hadn’t sent another one. I kept willing my phone to ring so I
could relish the feeling of ignoring him again. But instead, just
before noon, the front door chimed and in walked Ben, looking sexy
as hell in some dark, faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt, his
dreads tied back neatly with a thick, black band. Not bad for a man
who had worked and sweated in the scorching heat all weekend and
then partied at Jam Hall until all hours of the night…

I deliberately pretended not to notice
him as I stared at my computer screen and rechecked my
emails.

Jeannine piped up immediately. “Hey
Ben! How you doing?”

I noticed Ben turn to her from the
corner of my eye. “Hey whassup Jeannine – how di boys
doin’?”

“
Four very large handfuls,
as usual!” Jeannine laughed.

Ben chuckled at that. “You a brave
woman…” he teased her, and then turned to me.

I still didn’t look at him, even
though he was standing right in front of my desk. He slowly sat
down onto the chair across from me.

I sighed and glanced up casually.
“Hey,” I said, a bit more rudely than I had intended to.

He gave me a strange look. “Hey
yourself…so what’s good? Y’awright?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I’m fine. How are
you?”

Ben narrowed his eyes at me. “What’s
wrong?”

I shook my head. “Nothing, just…got
some stuff on mind, that’s all. How was your night?”

“
Hey Gab!” Jeannine cut in
suddenly. “It’s ten to – just cut out early for lunch, there’s no
one here…”

I glanced over at her. “You
sure?”

“
Yeah of course!” she
insisted, nodding at the back of Ben’s head, her silent way of
telling me to go get some privacy.

“
Cool,” I said simply,
locking my computer screen and grabbing my hand bag, all the while
Ben still looking at me with this expression of confusion, caution
and suspicion all rolled into one.

He followed me out the back door and
into the alley.

“
What’s up with you?” he
wanted to know, as soon as the door to the shop was closed behind
us.

“
Nothing.” I fished in my
bag for my cigarettes. “Up late last night?”

He narrowed his eyes at me again.
“Yeah, I was…that’s why I text you so late.”

“
I was sleeping.” I lit my
cigarette.

Ben was still watching me cautiously.
“I have something to tell you.”

I met his eyes then, my pulse
quickening. “What is it?”

“
Well, it’s lunch rush now,
so I gotta get back…but last night Lena and Patrick dragged me to
Jam Hall for the festival wind-up and I ran into an old friend of
mine. She’s moving back to Toronto next week and she still hasn’t
rent out her place yet. We can go check it out when you get off
work later if you want. I’ll take you.”

My eyes went wide and I just stared
back at him for a moment, letting his words sink in. “Oh…wow…okay…”
I thought for a minute. “Where is it?”

“
Just up the street. Commercial and
16
^th
.”

“
Okay…” I thought again, my
mind racing. “So it’s main floor, wheelchair access, alla
that?”

“
Yeah…don’t worry, we’ll
talk ‘bout all that later,” Ben assured me. “But I gotta get back
now…y’coming for lunch?”

I smiled then, forgetting that I was
mad at him. “Yeah…I’ll be right in.”

Ω

I met Ben at his parking stall behind
the restaurant just after 5 pm.

“
So…this friend of
yours…she isn’t someone else that you used to…you know…” my voice
trailed off as we pulled out into the alley.

Ben glanced over and sucked his teeth
at me. “No.”

I sighed.
“That’s a relief.”

“
Is it?” Ben teased me. “I
had no idea you were such a jealous woman.”

“
I’m not!” I protested
quickly and unconvincingly. “I just think it would be kinda
awkward, that’s all…” I sighed. “Could you imagine?” I continued,
thinking out loud. “Me moving into an apartment that you used to
fuck some other woman in?” I shuddered at the thought.

Ben sucked his teeth at me again.
“I’ve never fucked her and I’ve never even been to her apartment so
you can relax,” he said, dismissing it. “Anyway, what was up with
you earlier?”

“
When?” I pretended I
didn’t know what he was talking about.

Ben glanced over at me. “At lunch. You
looked like you wanted to tear my face off…or something
worse.”

“
I’m sorry,” I told him. “I
was just being stupid. Tasha texted me last night and said she saw
you at Jam Hall…and you had told me you were just going to bed…I
guess it got me a bit irritated.”

He shook his head, sucking his teeth
softly. “Come on now…y’serious?”

“
Yeah.”

“
So…” Ben looked a little
confused by the concept. “You sayin’ you was pissed off that I stop
by Jam Hall instead of just goin’ straight to bed? What are you
now? My mother?”