Love Me Like That (38 page)

I’m parked at a neighboring business, watching the front doors of Bland & Platt. Her little red car is in the parking lot indicating that for once in her life Sierra told the truth. I’ve been parked here for hours, not sure when she’d get off work but afraid to miss her if I showed up too late.

I don’t realize just how much I missed her until I watch her walk out of the front of the office. I move to open my truck door but stop when I see no other than Justin Bland himself walks out beside her with his hand on her back. I can see the happiness on her face from here, and it makes my blood run cold.

Has she truly moved on? Has she moved on with him?

The last thing I want to do is cause her more pain or ruin any happiness she may have built since we were together. I’d almost convinced myself to walk away but then she turned to her side. I gasp at the sight of her rounded stomach. A tear rolls down my cheek unbidden as I take in the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. She didn’t have an abortion, and that realization means there may be hope. Hope that we can be together or at a minimum I can be a father.

Just before she lowers into the car, I see a small hint of pain on her face and that’s all I need to seal my plans. There’s no way I can walk away from her. My heart won’t allow it. She may not want me when it’s all said and done, but I won’t walk away from a child.

I watch them drive away, and it’s the hardest thing not to follow them and confront her wherever they stop. I call Kegan instead and invite him over to hang out this evening before I can decide to sit in this parking lot and wait for her to return to her car. Seeing me beat the shit out of Justin won’t win me any points in her favor.

For the first time in as long as I can remember I want a drink. Not because I feel like I need one but I know passing out drunk will keep me from going back into town and searching for her. I’m glad I called Kegan over, and I’ve decided to talk to him about London. Other than Dr. Long her name hasn’t crossed my lips but I feel the need to work out a plan with someone and Kegan, although he’s my brother, is also the only friend that I have. Making friends was another thing on Dr. Long’s long list of things to do that I never got around to.

“There isn’t shit on TV,” Kegan says leaving the station on ESPN and setting the remote back down on the coffee table.

“It’s Thursday. What do you expect?” I tell him. “I wanted to talk to you anyways.”

He turns his body, so he’s facing my more and bats his eyelashes. “Are we going to gossip?” He asks in a girly voice.

“Sure and then you can braid my beard,” I respond flatly with the same thing London said months ago at the cabin. “I’m serious. I have some shit to say.”

“Is it about Sierra? Mom told me about what she did. I’m so fucking sorry, man.”

“Thanks. I don’t want to go into detail too much; I’ll save that shit for therapy but Sierra and I messed around a couple of times, and she went crazy and told me about what she did to Savannah’s car.”

“I guess it’s a good thing. I don’t know if the truth makes it better or hurts even more than the lie everyone believed,” he says.

“It’s honestly hard to tell right now,” I admit to him. “That’s not the only thing she disclosed.” I pause.

For a long minute, Kegan just waits patiently, but patience has never been his strong suit. “Am I going to have to drag it out of you or are you just going to torture me with hints until I guess?”

“She saw London at a grocery store and started following her.”

“Fuck. Did she tell you where she lives?” He shifts his weight on the couch sinking in deeper into the leather.

“No. But she did tell me where she works.” I explain.

“Are you going to go see her? Beg her to come back?”

“It’s more complicated than that, Kegan.”

“How is it any more complicated than going up to her, telling her how you feel, and begging her to take you back? Seems pretty simple to me.” He crosses his arms over his chest and nods his head, ecstatic he just solved my problem.

“She’s pregnant, man.” He gasps and if the conversation wasn’t so serious I’d laugh at the look of complete shock on his face. He looks terrified like I just mentioned his worst nightmare.

“Holy shit,” he mutters.

“Yeah,” I agree with him.

“And you don’t want the baby?”

“What kind of man do you take me for? Of course I want the baby.” I glare at him for even opening his mouth and let that bullshit fly out of it.

“What’s stopping you from going and getting your girl then?”

“I went to her work yesterday, and she was getting in the car with Justin Bland.”

“The contract lawyer?” I nod. “Stiff competition, Kadin. He’s a pretty decent man.”

“I fucking know that. You should’ve seen her, Kegan. She’s even more beautiful than I remember. Her stomach is out about this far,” I say indicating with my hand about six inches from my own stomach. “Most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You have to try,” he says.

“I know but what if she doesn’t want me?” I sound like a whining child, but the idea of her rejecting me makes me want to break down and cry. Some man I am.

“Well, then at least you’ll know, which is much better than sitting here each day wondering about what might have been.” He is one hundred percent accurate. It’s exactly what I’d do. I know it’s exactly what I’ll do tonight once he’s gone and all day tomorrow as I sit in the parking lot and watch her leave work again.

“You don’t seem like you want her to say no, but are you ready for her to say yes?” Leave it to my wild-ass, take nothing serious, brother to come up with some poignant shit like that.

“I’ve been in therapy since she left. I’ve known she was pregnant since then. I found the positive pregnancy test in the trash,” I admit.

“And you’re just telling me this shit now? What kind of brother are you?” He playfully shoves my shoulder.

“I’ve had a ton of shit to work through. I knew if I wanted even a chance of being worthy enough to be a father then I had to get things straight in my own life. I had to compartmentalize my issues and work on them individually. I would’ve gone insane had I not.” I swallow roughly. “Besides she left and never came back. Until Sierra told me what she did, I was working on accepting that I’d never see her again.”

“Did you look for her?”

I huff a light laugh. “I went to her old hometown and punched out the boyfriend that cheated on her. The one that sent her running in the first place, but he hadn’t seen her. I had a private investigator looking for her but since she hadn’t filed income tax for the year and all of her stuff was showing up as her old address in Great Falls. Everything was a dead end.”

“You were just going to give up?” Here’s the asshole brother I know.

“I had to accept eventually that she knew where I worked and never came to me. She could have come to the condo.” I sigh. “I’ve spent hundreds of hours over the last five months hanging out in baby stores hoping I’d run into her.”

He chuckles and the ridiculousness of what I just admitted to. I can’t help but laugh with him.

“It scares me how much I want her; how much I need her. It took all the strength I had not to chase them down today and demand she come back to me.” I scrub my hands over my face.

“When do you plan to go up to her?” He leans in closer, anxiously waiting for the answer.

“Tomorrow evening when she gets off of work,” I respond. “I can’t wait a day longer. That’s if I don’t go sit in the parking lot at her work and surprise her when she gets to work first thing.”

He smirks at me and shakes his head. “I don’t think first thing in the morning is going to work. I’ll stay here tonight and hang out with you tomorrow to keep you from doing anything stupid,” he offers.

“Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

He winks at me. “I’m sure my boss won’t mind.”

“Quit huffing,” I tell Jillian as we walk down the hallway to the doctor’s office. “Find a seat when we get in there and I’ll find you after I pee in the little cup.”

“Ugh, London. Keep the fucking details to yourself.” She sticks a finger playfully in her mouth and pretends to gag. “Why the hell do they need you to pee in a cup or anyways?”

“I’m not exactly certain, but they run tests on it or something.” I shrug. “I have to do it every time I come in.”

“It’s moments like this I realize two very important things. One, I love my job, and I’m glad I decided NOT to go into the medical field. Two, I never want kids. Just getting to the birth is absolutely disgusting.” I think she’s joking but when I cut my eyes to her she’s shaking her head slightly and is completely serious.

As usual I’m put into a room very quickly but this is where the long wait happens. I don’t know why they don’t leave us in the waiting room where I can at least people watch. Plus, the sign on the wall instructs me to turn off my cell phone. The last time I came I was brave and read a book on the kindle app on my phone but got a tacky look from the nurse when I couldn’t put it away fast enough. I think a half a second after knocking is not a long enough time before barging in on someone. “What are you doing?” I ask Jillian with a light laugh as she stares at the 3D replica of a uterus and ovaries. “Haven’t you been in OB/GYN’s office before?”

“Yes,” she says scrunching up her nose and leaning in even closer. “But the handful of times I’ve been I’ve been in a paper gown on the table. I didn’t have the ability to look at things up close.” She points to the uterus. “Do you think that is a healthy one or a diseased one? I honestly can’t tell.”

“I think that’s a healthy one. Will you sit down,” I beg, pointing to a chair beside the table I’m perched on. “You’re making me nervous.”

Giving it one last scrutinizing glance, she appeases me and takes a seat. “Tell me about your date last night.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “About that,” I say sharply. “You’ve got to stop pushing Justin on me. It’s not fair to him. He gets his hopes up. I try to keep things platonic, and you do things like make sure we have the most romantic table in the restaurant with fucking candles on the table.”

“I was just trying to help,” she replies with an uncharacteristically gentle voice.

I soften my own voice because I know she means well. “I’ve been telling you for months there is too much other stuff I’m dealing with right now. I can’t get into anything with Justin.”

“Okay,” she finally agrees. “I won’t do any more sneaky matchmaking. Seriously, though, how was last night?”

The quick knock on the door prevents me from relaying last night events and the doctor walks in.

We go through the basics, and he asks some questions about some elective tests I’m due to have if I feel like it, mostly genetic type stuff. I realize that I know nothing about Kadin’s family history and what I’m aware of from Trent’s family is just what he’d relayed to me in passing. I have no way of knowing the things that could affect my baby without knowing who the father is and getting that information from them.

Just as he’s finishing up and turns to wash his hands before exiting the room, I finally speak up. “Dr. I want to know about,” I clear my throat. “I’m curious about how a paternity test would work.”

Ever the professional, he takes the question in stride. “You could have an amnio now to determine paternity, but it carries some risks. The safest thing to do would be to wait until the baby is born and do it then.”