Love Reflection (Entwined Hearts #1) (8 page)

I just wish I could tell him. Tell him the truth, how I really feel. I just feel so exposed when I even think of telling him. I feel sick just contemplating the idea. So I push it out of my thoughts.

When I get to the hospital I take a deep, refreshing breath before entering. As I walk past the receptionist, I smile and continue. She must be a temp because she asks who I am and who I’m here to see. Karen, the normal receptionist, must be away.

After making it past the Pit Bull on the front desk. I move to the lift and wait. I feel like I’m always waiting these days. I’m just not sure what I’m waiting for anymore.

I arrive at floor three and make my way down the corridor. I stop at the nurses’ station and chat to Cheryl. “Hey, how’s he today?” I ask… I always ask the same thing.

Cheryl smiles. “He seems better today. I don’t think it’ll be long until he leaves us.”

I smile. “That’s the hope,” I answer, although my gut wrenches at the thought.

I take the next twenty or so steps and stop at room fourteen. I tap on the door and enter, smiling as my eyes locate the frail figure on the bed.

“Hey Saul,” I say softly.

“Hey Pea,” he replies.

As I make my way home on the bus and I try not to think about the last forty-eight hours. I try not to think of all the truly low points I’ve had in such a short space of time. I’m sick of feeling miserable. It’s no wonder I have no friends anymore. I wouldn’t want to spend time with me! Ugh! Even now I’m whining.

As I’m considering how best to spend my night, with a bit of television and a plate of chilli or a bubble bath and a glass of wine, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and notice that it’s Dane.

“Hey you,” I say with a smile. This feels like the first genuine happy moment I’ve had in a while.

“Hey Pea,” he replies then continues, “So I was thinking… roller skating,” I can hear the grin in his words.

“Errr… roller skating? Is that it? Should I guess the rest of that sentence?”

“Ha, ha, Pea, remember we were talking about doing something? Well, roller skating is it,” he exclaims like he’s just discovered the meaning of life and is very proud of himself.

“Okay Dane, I’m game. I’ll go with that suggestion. Although I’m pretty sure I’ll embarrass myself in front of all those teenagers that are bound to skate rings round me.” I laugh.

“Don’t worry, Pea, tonight is seniors night.” With that he cracks up laughing.

“What the fuck, Dane?” This isn’t the way to push me tonight, but he still hasn’t learnt my tones.

“Sorry, that was just too funny not to put out there,” he pauses and then continues, “Okay, Wednesday night is for older people only, so twenty-five and above. They call it ‘Back in Time.’ It’s sad really, but hey it means we don’t have to worry about teenagers and feeling like we need Zimmer frames already.” I can hear the hopefulness in his voice and I know I need a night out of the house. A night away from the misery I seem to want to dwell in lately. What I need is to get my head out of my arse and move the fuck forward.

“Sounds like a plan Dane, shall I meet you there?”

“Don’t be stupid woman, you’re not walking round London at night by yourself. I’ll pick you up in an hour.” With that, he clicks the phone off.

I stare at my phone for the longest time with a stupid grin on my face. I know people are staring at me because I can feel the burn of their eyes, but I don’t give a shit. I’m happy and it’s so freeing.

By the time Dane arrives to collect me, I’ve managed to plait my hair and swap my dress for some skinny jeans, Uggs and a jumper. I pull open the door and he walks past me completely comfortable in my presence. It makes me stop and take stock for a moment. He seems as comfortable with me as I am with him. A nice warm feeling fills my body and I smile.

“You ready to head off?” he asks looking me over.

“Yeah, just need to grab my bag,” I say gazing at him from the corner of my eye. He’s wearing jeans, boots and an Aran knit jumper, and he pulls that look of with ease. With his height, physique and looks, there will be women all over him tonight. I stop for a second to take stock. Not really sure how that train of thought makes me feel. I mean we never discussed this being a date. In fact, we’ve never discussed having a date… period. Every time we’ve been out somewhere or spent time together we have fun and enjoy each other’s company, but we’ve never defined what we have. And before today, right this second, I hadn’t ever given it too much thought. Now, of course, I can’t stop thinking about it, and because of that I’m all jumpy and unsure how to behave.

Great Pea, start the evening how you mean to go on, why don’t you?
I mentally chastise myself. Here I was looking forward to a fun evening.

“Pea?” Dane says it in a questioning way. I know what that is, he thinks I’ve gone bat-shit crazy staring into space. I mentally groan.

“Sorry, just away with the fairies for a minute there, let’s go.” I smile even though it’s forced and I know he can tell, which again is amazing. The fact that he can pick up on things like this in such a short space of time.

“Pea, those Uggs suit you. Are they real?”

“Yeah, they’re real. Why?” I’m not sure why he’s asking me, it’s kind of came from nowhere, and I feel uncomfortable for a minute.

“No reason, I was just thinking that if they weren’t real I could probably get you a real pair. I know someone who buys them in bulk in Australia to sell over here at a profit. I could get a pair for you, that’s all.” His smile seems sincere, even though my stomach twists.

“Thanks Dane, but even if they weren’t real, I wouldn’t be comfortable accepting something like that from you. I mean I’ve only known you for a short while.”

“Pea, it’s not an issue.” He chuckles, but it’s forced. I know he’s trying to cover for what he assumes is him putting his foot in it.

The truth is that Con bought them for my birthday. He’d seen me looking at them and when he realised I couldn’t afford them he got them for me as a surprise. I think back to April 28
th
, my birthday…

“Soph, these bloody boots are killing my feet! Ugh! Are they designed to crush your bones so you can never walk again?” I complained for what felt like the hundredth time since we’d left her flat to walk to the bar.

“Pain is beauty baby, pain is beauty,” Soph replied with a wink. I rolled my eyes and concentrated on making it the three hundred yards left between us and the bar, and then being able to sit my bum down. Hopefully, the guys had managed to get us a table of sorts.

It was a new bar that had opened up about a month ago. We’d all been talking about going, but hadn’t had time. The boys took it out of our hands as it was my birthday, and decided we were going to see what all the fuss was about. We were closing the gap between us and The Black Diamond. Our poor feet, well, slight correction, my poor feet, Soph seemed fine, in fact, she looked like she could hike in her heels.

I’d never understood it. I mean I’d always loved heels and loved shoes, in general, they were one of my big weaknesses. But, I didn’t want to walk a mile in pointy-toed, spiked heeled, fuck me boots, that felt like they were sucking out my soul through my little toes.

That night was yet another attempt by Soph to make me look sexy, or like a hooker, I guess it depended upon your definition of the two. She dressed me in a tight black lycra dress. I seriously thought they’d gone out of fashion in the eighties. A red, tight fitting, long-sleeved woollen top that stopped just under my breasts. I wasn’t really sure what the point of the top was. Then, of course, I had on those black, knee high, fuck me boots, the heel had to be at least six inches. I had bare legs and a small black handbag that had little, what can only be described as silver charms hanging from it, signalling my whereabouts to everyone in the local vicinity. My eye makeup was purple with black kohl outlining my fake lashes. My long brown hair was gelled back into a high top ponytail and as it was so long it hung halfway down my back. Lastly, I had a long solid silver heart necklace that hung down to my belly button and it felt like at any minute someone was going to offer me money for a blowjob.

Soph, however, seemed happy with my makeover. She, of course, looked stunning in a loose flowing gypsy style dress in an indigo colour. It gathered just under her breasts and then flowed down her body. The front of the dress stopped about three inches above her knees while the back floated down to her calves. She then had these stunning pair of gold shoes which laced up her legs. She teamed this with a gold clutch and her hair hung loose around her shoulders. She was flawlessly made up, and when she smiled she looked like an angel.

I was relieved to see we were nearly at the bar and also worried that there was a queue outside. I shouldn’t have worried though as very obviously Soph used her flirting techniques with the bouncer and we were ushered through the entrance to the moans and grumbles of others who were still waiting outside. Soph seemed oblivious and grabbed my hand and dragged me inside. I was glad that Soph seemed to know where she was manoeuvring us to. She weaved through the crowd like a pro. I’d always been slightly uncomfortable in places like that, feeling as though I didn’t really belong. This place was somewhere for the beautiful people.

My thoughts were solidified when I looked over and spotted Saul and Con at a table chatting to three women who were fawning all over them. Con and Saul always attracted women. More to the point, because of their looks, they always attracted gorgeous women. Tonight was no different. Soph felt me stiffen up as her gaze found the guys.

“Pea, pay no mind. You know our boys will kick them to the curb when we get over there,” she said with a smile, although I could see it was tight. She led me to the bar, obviously to furnish us with drinks.

“I’m used to it now Soph, it’s become the norm. They’re just too good looking,” I said with a sigh

“Ha, ha, Pea, don’t bloody tell them that! Their heads are already too damn big.”

She made me laugh and as I looked up I saw Con staring at me, then Saul followed suit. They got up from their table and started making their way over to us, much to the annoyance of the women they were previously chatting to.

“See Pea, I told you. Kicked to the kerb,” Soph whispered in my ear. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Ladies, fancy seeing you here,” Saul announced as he walked over to us, grabbing us both at the same time for a group hug. As we unravelled from his arms he kept himself propped up by draping his arm around Soph.

“Hmm, not sure this outfit is covering enough of your body, Pea,” Con stated with a raised eyebrow.

“What’s wrong, Con? Why shouldn’t she show off the goods? Maybe she’ll get some tonight, huh? She’s been in some kind of drought for the last few years,” Soph teased him.

“Well, you’ve made up for her then, Soph,” Con said with a smirk.

“Enough! Let’s just have fun and stop behaving like dicks for one night, huh?” Saul growled.

At that moment the bartender stepped up to us. “What can I get you ladies?” he asked with a wink.

This time Con growled. “They’ll have Vodka and Diet Coke and we’ll have two Buds,” he answered, gesturing to Saul and himself. The bartender held up his hands and went to make the drinks.

“Really Con? You can chat to some hoes over there, but a bartender winks at us and you get all Alpha,” Soph states exasperated.

“All right, enough,” I said, now I was getting annoyed with them. “This is supposed to be my birthday treat, and all you’ve done is bicker. Now I’m standing here feeling like a hooker and wearing boots that make my feet feel numb. I’ve more makeup on than a thirteen-year-old girl and I just want to try and enjoy myself.” I was flailing my arms about in frustration. So, of course, what happened next was just typical. They all burst out laughing. Well, at least it crushed the tension. The tense moment was gone. We made our way over to their previous table, which miraculously was still empty.

As we slid in Con said, “You know, Pea, I have your birthday pressie in the car. You could probably do with it right now. You could take off those uncomfortable boots?”

“I don’t think so, Con! I spent ages picking out the perfect outfit for her tonight and even longer convincing her to wear it. You are not going to get her to change now,” Soph said clearly working herself up for a fight.

Con chuckled at her while winking at me. “Don’t worry, Soph, I was just thinking that when she saw what I’ve bought her, she’d want to put them on straight away.”

“Well, now I’m intrigued,” I said to Con.

“Sorry Pea, you’re going to have to wait until tomorrow now. That’s when it’s your actual birthday, so that’s when you’ll get your gift,” Con said with a knowing grin.

“Spoilsport,” I answered.

“Right, I want to dance. Come on, Pea,” Soph said.

“Are you actually kidding me?” I stared at her. “Did you not hear me when I said these boots were crippling me?”

“That’s okay, you only really have to stand still and sway. Come on.” Soph grabbed my arm and didn’t give me a choice. Once on the dance floor I noticed it was not as bad as I thought it’d be and I could just sway from side to side. Con and Saul looked upon us from their table – Saul grinning while Con’s eyes bore into me. Before I realised it we’d been on the dance floor for forty-five minutes.

“I’m just going to ask the guys to get us some more drinks. I’ll be back in a tick. Don’t go anywhere!” Soph ordered.

I stood happily swaying from side to side minding my own business when I felt a set of hands rubbing themselves up and down my sides on my hips, then a manly voice whispered in my ear, “Well, what stupid fool would leave you all alone on the dance floor?” Smarm and smugness oozed from his voice and I felt a cold shiver run down my body.