Love's Abundant Harvest (32 page)

Lord, give me strength.

Would it always be so difficult for little Rhoda? She had heard other women talking
about such things, so maybe what ailed her wasn't as much to worry about as she thought.
A rap at the door pulled her back as she realized her eyes were full of tears.

“I brought you my bag if you need another.” Fannie didn't even pause long enough
to know something was wrong and began to gather Timmy's clothes. “I'll go with you.
Manny will need to keep up the farm. He and I can switch off so you will always have
someone with you.”

“
Nee,
Manny will take us so we can go as a family.” Lucy had her back to Fannie,
unable to keep her emotions in check. Her bouncing back and forth between worrying
and crying was out of control, and she needed to keep the turmoil in check.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and took in a
breath. Fannie turned Lucy around
to face her. “What is it, Lucy?”

“I don't know. Fear of the unknown, I suppose.”

“It's just the baby blues, Luce.”

Fannie barely got the words out before Lucy lost her composure. “It's not just that,
Fannie. It's just not knowing exactly what's wrong with my baby.” She wiped her face
and lowered her voice. The last thing she wanted was someone else hearing her distress
and coming to check on her.

“What do you mean? We understand, Luce. You've been through a lot, we all know that.”
Fannie closed her eyes and squinted. “I could open a can of worms here by mentioning
Sam, but there's no point. It will get better.” She said it so matter-of-factly that
Lucy almost believed it. But no one could possibly know how she felt. She'd seen
what other women had gone through during and after having their babies, and it wasn't
like this, not to this extent.

“Manny is a good man. He'll take care of you and your babies.” Her eyes formed into
slits. “And you will let him, even if I have to make you.”

This was the one thing that made Lucy wary of her sister. Once she got involved in
something, she took control and made things go her way, which was usually good,
but Lucy hadn't dealt with her for years now and wasn't sure she liked it as much
as she used to. She had been forced to grow and mature into someone who could stand
up for herself. Unfortunately that opportunity had come only after Sam was gone,
leaving her to fend for herself until Manny came along. It wasn't fair to him, the
way things happened, but that was how it was for both of them, like it or not.

“What are you thinking about?” Fannie hadn't stopped eying her, watching Lucy wade
through her thoughts.

“Looking back, there have been a lot of changes. I've changed. I just don't know
if it's for the better.” She thought of Sam and how beat down she was when Manny
came along. Maybe she'd rushed into things with Manny. But how could she have resisted
him with his gracious and nurturing ways toward her and now with the babies? What
would she have done if he wasn't there for her? The girls would have been there,
but it wasn't the same as having a father around. Even though he wasn't their
daed
,
it felt like he was.

“There's bitterness flowing through you, rightly so, after what's gone on. But don't
let Manny take the brunt of that.” Fannie's forehead creased as Lucy took her time
to respond.

She resented what her sister was saying, even if she was right. She stood and placed
some tiny socks on the bed. “I know you're just trying to help, but I think enough
has been said.” Her voice was even, but not her mood. She'd always admired her sister's
straightforward demeanor, but a lot had happened over the years, and she had her
own mind about her. She wasn't the meek scapegoat she'd once been.

“He's a good man. You're fortunate to have him. Maybe someday I'll be as fortunate.”
Fannie said it nonchalantly but sincerely.

Lucy didn't need to be told she wasn't appreciating Manny as she should and grunted
with thought.

“What was that for?” Fannie's brow furrowed.

“You're one to talk. You're tickled pink every time the doc comes by, but you ignore
him.” Lucy grinned, and
then stopped Fannie before she could deny it. “And don't
say anything differently. It's written all over your face.” Lucy watched as her sister
stonewalled and distracted herself with folding clothes from a basket by the bed.
“You're not denying it.”

“Is there anything else you want to take?” Fannie placed her hands on her hips and
turned each way to examine the room. “If you need anything more, one of us will be
there in a moment's notice.”

“
Jah
, I don't doubt that. It's the unknown I'm worried about. Not knowing is what
keeps me up at night.”

“Literally. That's one good thing about being in a hospital and having nurses help
us share the load. You might actually get some sleep.”

“I can't remember the last time I slept through the night.” Lucy'd had no idea how
demanding it would be to nurse two babies. When Manny had offered to help, she'd
only laughed and asked whether he could grow breasts, and then they'd both laughed
deliriously. Remembering made her smile.

“Okay, let's go.” Fannie helped her out with the suitcase and sat down next to
Mammi
.
“She's all ready to go.”

“Are you ready for this?”
Mammi
's eyes were soft as they took Lucy in, and Lucy almost
felt guilty leaving her. They had become attached to the two little ones, and Lucy
knew she was going through withdrawal already.

“
Jah
, for my baby.”

Fannie frowned. “You mean babies.”

“Timmy isn't the one I'm worried about. He's a strong boy.” She looked over at her
baby girl. “But we don't know what's wrong with Rhoda.” She stopped short and took
in a jagged breath.

Rosy had been leaning against the doorjamb. “She'll be all right, Luce. Even if there
is something that needs care, she will still be okay.”

Leave it to Rosy to say the most touching words. She was a delicate soul, and Lucy
wondered whether, if she had been bolder with young men all those years ago, if her
life would have been different. Lucy nodded and held back tears that were trying
to build up. “
Danke
, Rosy. You're good to have faith in our little one.”

Nellie held Timmy, who was sound asleep in her lap. Lucy wished Rhoda could rest
like he did, but she seemed out of sorts much of the time. Lucy had learned early
on as a mother how painful it was not to be able to soothe your child.

Manny came in, rubbing his hands together. “It's a bit cold out there.” His eyes
met Lucy's. But when she smiled at him, he turned away and went over to Nellie and
then stroked Timmy's cheek.

Nellie lifted Timmy up to Manny. “You want to hold him? I wouldn't want to take a
father's son from him.”

“I wish I could sleep like he does.” Manny got situated and sat back on the couch
as Nellie handed Timmy to him.

Lucy made her way over and sat down next to him, remembering the little joke she'd
made about nursing and smiled. She was ex
haus
ted, so she didn't talk but just appreciated
the moment—the two of them together, both resting.

She prayed he'd never leave her, and that their babies would grow strong and healthy.
And for Manny, because if not for him, she might be raising these babies alone.

M
anny paid the English driver and went to the trunk to gather the bags. He'd rather
have driven his own buggy but wasn't sure his family would have been as comfortable.
He doubted Rhoda's cries were from pain, but he wanted her to be as content as possible.

As he set the bags on the sidewalk, Manny studied the building. The clinic was nestled
in the heart of Lancaster County, between two Amish farms in Strasburg. From the
information he'd read, they had the most comprehensive and affordable care for children
like Rhoda. And he prayed to
Gott
they truly did.

“Let me help with those.” The
Englischer
offered a hand, and Manny readily accepted.
He would need to humble himself into receiving help from others through this and
leave his pride back home where he could yell and scream and call
Gott
out as to
why him, and even more, why Rhoda.

“Sir?” The
Englischer
was watching him as he thought about what was before them.
“Go on in. I'll get these.” The young man did as he promised and went ahead of them
to the glass doors. “The admission desk is to your left.” He tilted his head, unable
to lift a hand to direct them.

“
Danke
.” Manny followed the young man's direction and took Lucy's arm as they walked
to the waiting room. “Wait here.”

Lucy was busy adjusting her bag and setting Timmy's
baby seat on a chair. “
Jah
” was
the only response she gave him, but that was enough.

“Keim is the name. Rhoda . . . she's my daughter.” He stuttered, uncommon for him,
but under the circumstances, it was probably normal at this point in time. To be
taking the final step to admit her into a facility that they hoped could help the
baby they couldn't care for made him feel utterly useless, beyond making his family
as comfortable as possible and letting the doctors do their work.

The young woman at the desk was talking, so he focused his attention on the words
he wasn't taking in. He glanced back at Lucy and his babies and held up a hand. “Can
you please repeat what you've said?”

The secretary smiled. “It's just what I have to say to new patients. Don't worry.
Just take your family to the room to your left, and someone will be there shortly.”
She handed him a pamphlet. “This will come in handy. Read through it when you can.”

He was starving for the information but apprehensive. Would it give him horrible
scenarios that would haunt him or overly encourage him into thinking that after a
weekend here his little girl would be cured?

With each step he took toward Lucy, he became more frightened. In their home he could
take care of their basic needs—food, shelter, and safety, without the worry. And
if for some reason he couldn't, the community was there for them.

“Come this way.” He placed his palm on Lucy's back, causing her to jump. “It will
be all right. They seem like
gut
people.”

“I hope so.” She put the pink blanket over Rhoda as if hiding her would calm her
cries. They were intermittent
at the moment. Maybe the babe knew her surroundings
had changed or felt the pulse of stress between her and her
mamm
, her
daed
, and the
new environment.

Manny held Timmy's baby seat as they walked to the designated room, set down their
belongings, and waited.

Within a few minutes, an older gentleman stepped in. Manny recognized him from the
pamphlet he'd been given. This man was one of the founders of the facility and was
taking the time to meet them as soon as they came in the door. His wore a gray suit
jacket and red bow tie. Manny knew he was a respected man here and gave him a nod.

“You must be the Keim family, from the community that had that nasty fire, if I recall.”

“
Jah
, that would be us.” Manny responded, appreciating that the man remembered the
tragedy they'd been through.

“You're a strong bunch, good things said of you and of helping one another through
such events.” He scratched his chin and peered down at Timmy and then set his eyes
on Rhoda. “This must be the special one.” He smiled. “
Gott
bless you, little one.”

Manny heard Lucy's breath catch, and she held a hand to her mouth. “That's our little
Rhoda.”

“
Jah
, I know her name. Namesake?”

“
Jah
, on my
mamm
's side,” Manny explained.

“You'll be well taken care of here. You can hold me to that.” He extended a hand
and pumped Manny's and then Lucy's.

As he walked out of the room, Manny felt some of his anxiety go as well and sat down
next to Timmy's baby seat. The little guy's face turned crimson, a good sign he was
going to belt out the news that he was hungry. “I think this might be a
gut
place
for us.”

“
Jah
, I hope so. I've never prayed for something as much as I have now.” She held
Rhoda close. “
Gott
wouldn't take her from us now, would He?”

“We're gonna be fine. These are
gut
people, and Rhoda will get better. Have faith,
Luce. Have faith.” Manny was telling told himself as much as he was tell Lucy because
he was scared to death.