Love's Abundant Harvest (30 page)

“Don't you remember?” It was quiet for a moment, just long enough to make
Mamm
respond.

“To make mashed potatoes.” And then she started to cry again, a good cry that made
Lucy bawl too. But it was a cleansing weeping, which drew them closer together than
they ever had been. Those precious couple of months together couldn't have come at
a better time.

They talked about the wake and friends who had come from near and far to pay their
respects, and then Lucy spoke with two of her sisters and promised she and Fannie
would call them again when they could. Lucy wondered how long she had been on the
phone, knowing it was costing money with every minute they spoke.

As soon as the phone was on the cradle, Abner peeked around the barn door. “I'm sorry,
Lucy. I know how close you were to him.”

“
Jah
, he was a
gut
man.” She pulled her shawl closer and prepared herself for the
cold that was starting to come each morning and evening once the sun was down.

Abner stuck his hands under his arms. “I'll walk you home.”

Lucy wouldn't usually want to bother him, but today she accepted his offer. Silence
filled the air. What was there to say when something like this happened?

Manny was waiting for her and stood when she got back to
Mammi
's. When she nodded,
he lowered his head. She felt a void, wishing Manny could have known her
daed
. But
she praised God she had Manny to fill the hole in her heart.

“Thanks, Abner.” Manny took Lucy's hand, and they turned to go into the
haus
. She
looked down at their hands twined together. Manny had asked her to move to his
haus
a number of times, wanting to make it a home for their family, but she was overwhelmed
with Rhoda's needs. It was at that moment she realized how selfish she had been,
letting fear control their relationship, robbing them of time alone to become a family.

“How was your
mamm
?” His voice brought her back to reality.

“She was better than I expected. We had a good talk.”

Manny pursed his lips. “I have
to admit I'm a little surprised. But things did get better between you two. What
did she say?”

Lucy didn't want to talk of sadness, death, or how far away her family was right
then, so she grinned and turned toward Manny. “Potatoes.”

He chuckled. “I guess I'm missing something.”

“
Jah
, my
daed
. I wish you would have met him.”

“Me too, but if he's anything like you, I guess I already have, in a way.”

“You heard Fannie say that, didn't you?”

“I suppose I did. But she's usually right about those kinds of things.”

“Don't tell her that. I'll never hear the end of it.”

He stopped, turned her toward him, and wiped a tear from her cheek. Then he held
her close and waited until she stopped shivering.

“You're a
gut
man, Manny. I'm glad
Gott
gave you to me.”

“I'd say the same thing, but I think I'll show you, instead.” He took her by the
waist and held her close, kissing her long and hard on the lips. Then he let go,
took her hand, and started walking again. He grinned when she let out a breath, and
she decided she liked it.

“Manny Keim, I didn't know you had it in you,” she said after she caught her breath.
He was always so private and slow to show affection, this had taken her off guard.

“I'm sorry I've kept us in
Mammi
's
haus
all this time. I know you want to spend more
time at your farm. I've kept you from that, and it's time I let go and let us be
a family, just the four of us.”

Manny's head shot up, and he nodded. “I'm glad to hear you say that.”

“Well, we can pack up and go tonight if you want to. I've made you wait long enough,
and I'm sorry for that.”

She truly was, but was more concerned about the trouble she had with Timmy. She hadn't
dared to say it, but he needed a lot of care, and she felt badly that she didn't
have the energy to care for him as she wished.
Mamm
had told her she was a fussy
child, but it went away once she was a bit older.

She appreciated the fact that he was his own little person, not Sam but Timmy, innocent
of anything similar to Sam. She'd prayed her heart out asking
Gott
to put her mind
in
the right place so she could love her son and daughter, but the feeling of having
two children all at once tested her confidence, and she was plagued with guilt.

As she stared at Timmy in his crib, his wide newborn fastened on hers. The more she
gazed at him, the more she could see the hint of a dimple on his chin and more hair
than Rhoda had.

“Lucy, where were you?” Manny had stopped on the porch, waiting for her attention.

“I . . . guess I'm tired. Can we wait until tomorrow to settle in at your
haus
? I
just don't have the energy right now.” It was a big job to move and to make his home
hers. She was just happy to be with a man who she believed truly loved her. Each
and every time she looked at her son and daughter, she felt blessed to have Manny
as her husband but worried his
haus
might not feel like hers.

When they returned, Nellie handed Rhoda to Lucy. When she looked over at Manny, she
knew she had to say something to him. It had become so obvious, he had to know something
was amiss. So she decided to tell him a bit of how she felt.

“Does it feel strange to you that we'll be living in the
haus
you and your wife had
together?” She glanced down at the babe she held and turned away.

“
Nee
, we're a family now. It doesn't matter where we live as long as we're together.
I'm more worried about Rhoda than anything else.”

Lucy paused but finally responded. “I worry about her too.”

“Maybe it's okay for now that you spent more time with her, but your boy needs you
too. Fannie and the girls are good to love on him, but he needs his
mamm
.”

She nodded toward Rosy as she walked away from the basket on the table and watched
Timmy's eyes catch hers. “Timmy just looks so much like Sam. It's been hard.” A comfortable
feeling took over as his eyes met hers. His brown eyes, large and focused on hers,
caused her to go to him. She had too many images in her mind of times Sam would simply
stare at her for something she had done that he disapproved of, she was so glad Manny
was his
daed
now. Maybe she was overreacting, but Lucy didn't know how to make it
right, to clear her mind of Sam and create a new view of how to care for her children.

A warm hand grasped her wrist, and Manny held her close. “You have to stop yourself
from letting the evil one take you places in your mind that aren't safe. Pray it
away, and eventually you will see Timmy in a different light.” He pulled her away.
“The doctor will let us know if he needs anything from us.”

Lucy shook her head, wishing she had never said anything, and waited for it to all
go away. “I'll try. I want it to be different.”

Manny picked up Timmy and cradled him in his arms. “I don't know what went on between
you and Sam—I can only imagine—but this is your chance to start over with me, Rhoda,
and Timmy.” Little Timmy grasped Manny's callused finger and kicked his feet.

Mammi
walked into the kitchen. “Oops, didn't mean to interrupt some family time.”

“We were just talking about packing the babies up and moving to Manny's. Do you feel
all right if we do that,
Mammi
?” She'd been so good to take them in that Lucy didn't
want to upset her in any way, but after what Manny
had said, she knew she had to
face what was yet to come and in her own home with Manny.

“Well, it's about time.”
Mammi
took Timmy and cradled him close to her. “You need
to grow as a family.” But the tears that filled her eyes said something different
indeed. “You can go as long as you promise to come visit often.”

“You know we will,” Manny responded to give Lucy a minute to compose herself.

“I'll be expecting you at our
haus
.” Lucy couldn't say more, knowing she would be
living in a home she didn't know would feel like hers only if the girls came to visit.

There wasn't a dry face in the
haus
as Rosy, Nellie, and Frieda all came around and
helped them pack up and then worked together and promised they would make a scrumptious
meal. Fannie wouldn't be coming with them, so she said her good-byes for the moment.

Lucy worried that all of them could live in harmony in the strange new place they
would now call home.

M
anny looked over his shoulder again. Milking seemed to last forever. He was more
concerned about Lucy than the milk that served as part of their livelihood. She'd
come out with Rhoda and stood on the porch three times now to try and keep her from
crying. If it happened again, he'd leave his chore, at least for a minute or two.

Little Rhoda's wails were weak and pitiful. Her voice wasn't as strong as Timmy's
or any baby that he'd heard cry. It was as if her lungs were deflated, barely pumping
in the oxygen she needed. He'd asked Lucy if she thought they should take her to
the doctor early, before her regular visit, but Lucy said she could hold out until
the week was over. He wasn't sure if that was wise at this point. At least one of
the girls had made the effort to visit each day, usually more, but today no one
had come over, and this was a day they needed the help.

A Holstein kicked the ground and mooed, bringing Manny's attention away from the
haus
and back to the job at hand. He removed the cups from the cow's udder and cleaned
them, then put away the machine until he would repeat the process that evening. He
opened the stalls and guided the cows out of the barn one by one, with a few pushing
their way through. He had started to muck the stalls when he heard sobbing.

It was too loud to be either of the babies. He dropped
the pitchfork and came running.
“Lucy!” Manny ran faster than he knew he could, when he saw her shaking body and
the tears falling against Rhoda's blanket.

He slowed when he got closer, and eased in beside her, sitting on the porch step.
He put his arm around her and waited for her to calm down.

He asked her what was wrong, whether the children were all right, and every other
question he could think of. She nodded her responses.

He was out of words. The more he tried to guess if she was happy or sad, the harder
it was. First with Sam and all she'd gone through with him, and then the pregnancy.
He'd known what he was getting into with two little ones to tend to right after marriage,
but all it took was one look, and he was smitten with both of them—no second thoughts
or regrets.

She had come such a long way since he first met her, coming down the lane, worried
about a coyote and telling him so. He'd appreciated her unexpected bold comment defending
the animal that had been tearing into his livestock. He grinned.

“What made you smile?” She turned to him with a smile.

“I was just thinking about how we met.” He turned to look at her, with her freckled
nose and blue eyes. “Do you remember?”

She smiled. “How could I forget?”

“You were out walking down the road, heading home, and I was looking for the varmint
that was eating my chickens.” He liked the thought of her scolding him for hunting,
and him mystified with this petite little redhead, alone and with child.

She turned toward him and drew her brows together in
confusion. It was better than
the puckered forehead she seemed to have most of the time now. There were just certain
things you didn't expect in life, and Lucy had had plenty of that in her lifetime.
So had Manny.

“I still don't like guns and never will.” She paused. “Neither will Timmy, if I have
anything to say about it.”

He'd changed her orneriness to her bright side, and now that he'd done it, he wasn't
sure which one was easier to deal with. But he could see the fight going out of her.
She was getting some of her energy back and must be feeling it too, by the look of
her. He wished he could sweep her up and take her to bed. That was probably all Lucy
needed. She'd feel better in the morning if she got some decent sleep. Manny hated
to admit it, but he was really missing Frieda and Fannie about now.

Manny took Rhoda from her when Timmy he started to fuss, and nodded toward the
haus
.
“Go fetch him. I've got Rhoda.”

He watched her thinking about it as she tried to push herself off the steps and looked
from him to the baby. Manny hadn't realized how tiny Rhoda really was or how soft
her cries were. One of her tiny squeals was nothing compared to Timmy's, which might
be one reason why Lucy didn't worry about him as much.