Love's Abundant Harvest (13 page)

He pushed away and grabbed the silver chart. “You seem to be in good health, from
all I can observe. But I'd like you to see your doctor. ” He glanced at Lucy. “Rest
up and take care of that baby.” He tapped the pen on the chart and looked around
the room. “Looks like you'll be in good hands.”

“
Jah
, I am for sure.” Lucy smiled at the nice but rushed doctor, feeling guilty for
taking up his precious time on such a busy night.

He stopped at the door and talked to the nurse about prescriptions, which Lucy didn't
think she needed. The nurse came in with forms to fill out and instructions concerning
Lucy's throat. “You're ready to go. Just check out at the window.” She paused. “If
you feel up to it, Mrs. Wagner, I can arrange a time for you to see your husband.”

Lucy shivered. “
Jah, danke
.” Her mind went numb, and she felt unable to speak or
do anything. “What needs to be done?” It sounded cold coming out that way. Was it
obvious, the way she'd said it?

“Someone needs to make an identification, but it doesn't have to be you if you're
not comfortable.” The nurse turned to pull the paper sheets from the exam table and
get ready for the next patient while Lucy tried to make a decision.

“I might wait, if that's okay.” Lucy didn't know what the typical procedure was,
but then, nothing about their marriage was normal.

“Maybe tomorrow, when things have settled down. There are others here who can do
that, if needed.” The nurse finished sanitizing the area, and Lucy slipped away,
wanting to leave as quickly as possible.

She whisked past Frieda and Rosy, with Nellie looking
on. She'd had enough, couldn't
function anymore. The baby kicked when she stood still, watching Manny pacing across
the waiting area. For whatever reason, she felt better just watching him roam the
room from side to side, not having seen her yet. When he did, his dark eye caught
hers and lightened against the fluorescent lights, but he didn't move.

Lucy took slow steps to the closest chair while Nellie, Rosy, and Frieda went to
the admissions and checkout counter.

Manny sat next to her. “What did the doctor say?”

“Everything is fine.” She twirled her hair self-consciously when she remembered
she didn't have her
kapp
. She wanted to say much more, and probably would have, if
they weren't sitting in a room full of strangers.

“That's
gut
, Lucy.” He leaned over and put his elbows on his knees. “I'm so sorry.”
He looked at her.

“I don't have the courage to go down to that morgue.” She looked away and then back
to him. “Does that make me a bad person?”

“
Nee
, it means you'll do what you need to when you're able. No one knows when that
is, only you.” He sat back and offered his hand. Proper or not, she needed him. “I
have a driver whenever you're ready to go. Where are you going?”

“To Frieda's, but not for long because I need to tend to the farm.” It seemed nothing
stopped on a farm—especially one as large as theirs.

“I can help with that. Stay at Frieda's for as long as you want to.” He leaned back
but kept his eyes on her. “That's something you don't need to worry about—especially
with
the damage and cleanup that will be going on. It's best you stay away until
it's safe.”

“
Danke
, Manny. You don't know how much that means to me.” And as she looked into
his eyes, Lucy felt a huge burden slowly slip away.

L
ucy woke up slowly, feeling an exhaustion she hadn't known in a long time. Then
she remembered. The fire. Sam. Even though her bed was warm, she shivered. She would
have to go back to the morgue today and see him one last time. Perhaps Frieda or
Mamm
would go, and she could stay curled up in her new nest.

She sighed and flung the covers off.
Nee
, it was her responsibility, and she'd never
shirked her duty before. She'd see this through too. The smell of bacon tickled her
nose and made her mouth water. It felt strange not to be in her own
haus
. Not that
she missed the farm. It comforted her to know Manny was watching over things there,
but she couldn't expect him to do it for more than a few days. He had his own place
to care for.

Sitting on the bed, she gathered the energy to put her feet on the wood floor and
pulled her dress on. She noticed the calm that came over her when she realized she
wouldn't be chastised or told she was ignorant, lazy, or dumb. There were times Sam
would scold her for doing something that he'd asked her to do or tell her she'd done
the task wrong. Every corner she turned seemed to be a dead end.

She walked down the hall to the room where
Mamm
had slept last night. She opened
the door slightly to see her fast asleep and then left it cracked open in case she
needed
assistance. She had been discharged from the hospital in exchange for the
promise that she would get a lot of rest.

The familiar creak on the stairs made her smile. This place was her refuge, and she
relished it. There couldn't possibly be a better place for her to be than right there,
right now.

When she stepped into the kitchen, each of the three women was at her own work station.
Nellie cut up the ham, her hips swaying with the rhythm of her chopping. Frieda scrambled
fluffy eggs to perfection, and Rosy pinched a little of this and that into a boiling
pot, making some herbal remedy. The smells mixed together into a plethora of mouthwatering
gut
eats.

“Morning. How can I help?” She walked past Frieda, picked up a piece of ham, and
stuck it in her mouth. It went down hard, a reminder that her throat still needed
time to heal.

Frieda gave her a one-armed hug, careful not to use her messy hands. “How did you
sleep?”

“
Wonderbar
.” She stopped her thoughts, feeling guilty for indulging in a good, long
night of sleep when such a tragedy had brought her there. “
Mamm
is still sleeping,
so she must have slept well too.”

“I'm glad you're both here.” Nellie brought over a plate of steaming eggs and toast
with a sprinkle of ham. Then she sat next to Lucy with a plate of her own. “Come
on, ladies, the food's getting cold.”

Rosy brought two mugs of tea and then went to get two more. “This will calm the nerves.
I don't know about all of you, but I'm still jittery.” Rosy was always at least a
little nervous it seemed.

The stairs creaked, and
Mamm
soon came through the
door. Lucy had never seen her
in such disarray. Her hair was plastered on her neck, and her pajamas were beyond
wrinkled, as if she'd slept in a knot. Her usual cutting eyes drooped with dark circles
underneath.

“
Mamm
.” Lucy leaned forward to stand, but Frieda put a hand on her arm. “You eat.
I'll take care of her.” She stood and walked over to Verna. “You look terrible.”

Mamm's
head moved slightly back as she focused on Frieda's face. “Well . . . ” She
frowned, maybe too tired to respond. She let Frieda help her to the table, where
she accepted a cup of Rosy's tea. She took a sip and then another.

“You should go back to bed,” Nellie offered as she took a bite of the eggs, encouraging
the others to eat. “This ham is delicious. Is this from the Mullets' farm?”

Rosy sat down with her plate and nodded. “
Jah
, but I don't feel like eating.”

Lucy stood before anyone could stop her and went upstairs to
Mamm
's room to get a
brush and her
kapp
. She knew her
mamm
well enough to know that she wouldn't want
to be seen without her head covered, even if it was with her own family in their
kitchen. Then she went to Frieda's room to borrow a
kapp
for herself. It was shameful
enough that Manny had seen her without one last night. She wouldn't let that happen
again.

She was careful walking down the stairs, holding her belly. With one more month to
go, she wondered how she could go about her usual chores. Planting her flower garden
would be much more difficult this time around, but at least she could have one. Sam
wouldn't let her plant flowers until the fruit and vegetables were showing above
the dirt, and even then, the amount of room left for flowers
was hardly worth the
effort. But she did because she loved the beauty they brought to her ugly life.

She walked to
Mamm,
who sat with her eyes shut, sipping on her tea. Lucy sat behind
her and started brushing her long, dark brown hair.

Mamm
startled and turned to the side to smile at Lucy. “Are you and the baby well?”
Her scratchy voice sounded the way Lucy's throat felt. She hesitated to ask her anything
that would make her speak.

“We're fine. It's you I'm worried about. What happened to you last night?” Lucy had
been scared to the point of almost getting angry for her
mamm
to leave her and go
off doing who knows what. But there was surely a good explanation.

“You know what a light sleeper I am. I heard popping and a sort of sizzling sound
coming from outside. So I got up to go look. The air was hot and thick with humidity.
I knew something was wrong, but not enough to know what to do.” Her eyes filled with
tears, so foreign to Lucy that a lump developed in her own throat.

“Where did you go? I didn't see you anywhere.” Lucy offered her some toast to dip
in her tea, as she so often did.

“Just as I turned to go back inside to wake Sam and tell him about the noises, the
silo exploded. The blast took me off my feet, but it was the hot fumes that caused
the most pain. Thank the Lord I wasn't any farther from the
haus
. Before I knew it,
I was in an ambulance going to the hospital.” She closed her bloodshot eyes and
took in a long breath. “My biggest concern was that I couldn't find you. I felt so
helpless in that automobile taking me away from you.”

Lucy had never heard her
mamm
talk this way and
wasn't sure what to say or do.
Mamm
must still be in shock to say such things. She twisted the hair in her hand and made
good use of the few pins she had, unable to find any words to reply.

“Makes you appreciate life a little more and love on your family more often,” Nellie
said, looking at the floor.

Frieda picked at her food. None of them seemed to have any desire to eat, even though
the food was delicious. The room was quiet except for Rosy tapping a fork on her
plate as they all digested what had happened, and even more so, what could have happened.

A knock on the door brought them back, and Frieda got up to answer. Lucy felt the
fear she was accustomed to whenever Sam came looking for her when she was gone too
long. She cringed at the thought of the tongue-lashings he'd lay on her all the way
home. Sometimes he'd made her walk beside the buggy. A couple times it was so hot
that she'd collapsed and woken up in the buggy.

She tuned out the voices of the women around her. Her heart beat loudly in her ears,
blocking out any other noise but the man at the door.

“Look who's here!” Frieda's usual expression calmed Lucy somewhat. She was never
that jolly when it was Sam at the door. Lucy squeezed her eyes shut.

Sam's not here
.
He can't hurt you anymore.

The voice was not hers, but a calming man's voice. Her
daed
? Not exactly the same
as his, but definitely a familiar, safe tone that slowly made her heart stop racing.
When she looked up, Manny stared straight at her. They all did.

She put a hand to her forehead. “I'm not feeling well.” She glanced up as Manny took
off his hat. “I'm sorry—”

“No need to apologize. I just wanted to check in on you
ladies. How's everyone this
morning?” Manny asked them all but still had his eye on Lucy.

“Tired but I can't complain.”

One side of his lips turned up into a small smile.

“
Mamm
is the one to worry about.”

“I'll be fine. It could be a lot worse.” She set her empty mug on the table and looked
into Manny's face. “Have you heard anything about what happened?”

Rosy stood, ready to keep the cups filled.

“An officer explained it to me. It comes down to the dry air and dust igniting a
spark that can get hot enough to start a full-blown fire. It's not that unusual,
but one on this scale seems to be. With a silo that big, it made for a mighty-size
explosion.”

It was unreal to hear them talking about the place where she'd lived for the last
two years. It didn't seem possible that this had really happened. As much as she
didn't want to, she might have to see the farm to believe it. With that would come
all the bad memories, which seemed even worse now that she didn't have to live there.
She had gotten in the habit of blocking it out of her mind. There was too much to
process, and if she did, she thought surely she would disappear into a crack in the
floor, unable to function.