Love's Abundant Harvest (12 page)

The officer came back to Manny and nodded toward Lucy. “Let's take a walk over to
the ambulance.”

Manny didn't say a word while they walked to the ambulance where Lucy sat on a stretcher
drinking out of a white paper cup. When she saw him, she looked up expectantly.

The officer stepped forward. “I'm Officer Jeff Streeter. And you are Lucy Wagner?”

Lucy nodded, and Frieda quickly added, “I'm her
mammi
, her
mamm
's
mamm
.”

He tipped his hat to Frieda and turned his attention to Lucy. “How are you?”

“We're fine.” Lucy rubbed her belly, and the officer looked down.

“Ma'am, your mother was taken to the hospital due to smoke inhalation.”

Lucy put a hand to her chest. “Is she going to be okay?”

Frieda held Lucy's hand. “She'll be all right. You know how strong she is.”

Manny hadn't met the lady, but from the little he'd heard about Lucy's
mamm
, he felt
their assessment about her was right.

Lucy held Frieda's hand so tightly that it turned white. “
Danke
for letting me know,
officer. And Sam?”

The officer looked her in the eyes. “Your husband suffered extensive burns. I'm
sorry to have to inform you that he passed away.”

G
asps and murmurs filled the air, but Lucy remained still and wordless, as did Manny.
“I'll give you all a minute and wait over here in case you need me.” The officer
walked a few steps away and stood at attention.

Lucy's eyes turned to Manny, who stood staring at her. Her first instinct was to
go to him, so he could console her as she knew he would and as no one else could
at this moment. There was something about him that pulled at her, telling her she'd
be safe with him. And that he would know what she could do, since he too had lost
a spouse. She was at a loss. But even more than that, she had harbored horrible
thoughts about her husband, and now he was gone. She would have to live with those
harsh feelings and great regret. She closed her eyes and said a wistful prayer for
forgiveness, knowing she would say many more as long as the guilt clung to her.

“Lucy.” Manny's voice instantly stopped her feelings of disgrace, even if it was
just for a moment, but she couldn't meet his eyes. Not after everything that had
gone through her mind.

“I'm so sorry.”

She nodded and stood up from off the stretcher. Then Frieda stepped forward and wrapped
her in an embrace. As she closed her eyes, she felt more arms surround her. Rosy's
touch was butterfly-light next to Nellie's bear hug.
One by one, they pulled away,
their warm bodies leaving a chill that penetrated deeper into her core than the heat
all around them.

“You're going to be all right, Luce.” Frieda bent over as far as her rickety, worn-out
body would let her.

Nellie came closer and lifted Lucy's head with a single finger under her chin. “Look
at me. I'm here for you. All of us are. We won't leave your side, darling. We're
all right here for as long as you need us.”

They were clearly filled with emotion. Rosy could only hug Lucy, unable to speak.
Frieda finally took Rosy away so she could stop hiccupping, her usual reaction to
anxiety.

Lucy sat back down, and Manny squatted in front of her. “Lucy, what do you need right
now?” His eyes glistened, especially the blue one, reflecting the small fires that
lingered behind her.

She shrugged. “I can't think . . . ” She held her belly, causing him to look down
as well.

“Then I'll tell you. You're going to the hospital. They've taken in those who were
in a bad way, and now they're taking some who they suspect were affected by the smoke.”
He squeezed her hand, giving her warm shivers. “Do you want me to go with you?”

She was unable to look him in the face after the emotional turmoil she'd just felt
about him moments ago. It felt right but was so wrong that she had to say no. She
shook her head. “You shouldn't.” A cough racked her throat; she wanted to go and
make sure the baby wasn't affected.

“You need someone to go with you.” He moved closer. “If you're worried about me going
with you, I won't, but after what's happened, I would think it's understandable with
no . . . without a husband to take you.” He looked
over his shoulder at Frieda consoling
Rosy and at Nellie's droopy eyes. “They may need some rest.”

“It's just not right.” She paused, wanting to say more, explain why, but her throat
was burning, and she didn't know the right words to say. “But
danke
for offering.”

She wanted to ignore the rules of her upbringing and what people might say. He was
the person who could care for her best, and if there wasn't a flickering fire in
her heart, she'd say yes. But she couldn't in good conscience let him be beside her
with questionable motives.

“Ma'am, the ambulance is ready to take you now.” The officer seemed to be nearby
at every turn. Grateful for his assistance, she touched his arm, knowing he'd be
able to answer a question she didn't want to ask. “Where is my husband?”

The officer bent down and put his arms on his thighs. “I can take you to him at the
hospital, but I need to warn you, because of your condition, it might be difficult
for you to see him.”

She nodded. “But I have to. I have to see him to know what's really happened . .
. that he's truly gone.” The way it came out, she sounded like any wife who'd just
lost her spouse, but it wasn't that way. She wanted to see that he was really gone—forever.
No more looking over her shoulder or flinching at his sharp words and harsh ways.
She wanted to see her deceased husband for all the wrong reasons, and nothing could
stop her. She couldn't move on if she didn't.

The officer nodded. “I'll escort you to the hospital.” He pointed to his police car
and helped her stand.

“I can do that for her,
danke
.” Manny held one of her hands and wrapped his arm around
her waist, something
that would never be allowed in any situation but one such as
this. When they got to the ambulance, they both tried to help her in.

“I'll take it from here.” The medic glanced at Manny and then at the officer. He
helped Lucy into the vehicle and strapped her in. When he went to close the back
door, they were both still there waiting until she was ready to go. “We'll see both
of you at the hospital, I take it.”

“I'll be there,” Manny promised as the paramedic grabbed the door handle.

Lucy watched the officer walk to his car and Manny stand stock still until the door
shut, cutting off her view. A buggy ride would take a while for Manny to get to the
hospital, but she selfishly hoped he would come. Maybe the
Englischer
nearby would
give him a ride.

She leaned her head back against the gurney and closed her eyes. She shouldn't be
thinking about him now, of all times. What kind of a person had she become? Had her
life with Sam tarnished the good in her, making her so callous she had to make sure
he couldn't come back to haunt her?

“We assumed you'd want to go to the Pomerene Hospital since it works with the Amish.”
The medic checked her chart as he waited for her response while he strapped a heart
monitor around her middle.

“
Jah
, I was there once when a friend had cancer. They're good people.” She felt a
little better already. She had no idea how much money Sam had or what to do with
medical expenses, so she was glad to be going to a place that accommodated the Amish,
giving the community time to gather the money to pay one another's bills.

The medic sat back and typed on a small keyboard,
keeping an eye on the monitor.
“There used to be a problem with pesticides on your crops causing cancer. It seems
to have gotten better now.”

“
Jah
, we made some changes, and many went back to some of the old ways of doing things,
I hear.” Fatigue was setting in, causing her eyes to droop.

“You can rest, but it's a drive, so no power nap.” He grinned, and that was the last
thing she remembered until he shook her arm.

“Ma'am, we're here.” He tidied up the ambulance, and as soon as the back door opened,
she saw Frieda, Nellie, and Rosy with Manny, talking to a Mennonite who must have
given them a ride. When Manny saw the ambulance, he finished the conversation, and
they all walked closer as the medic rolled Lucy out and to the emergency entrance.

“We'll see you inside.” Manny walked away as the ladies waved and followed him. He
looked back and smiled—one gesture she hadn't seen tonight. The thought of him there
at the hospital created mixed emotions. It was a horrible night. Some were hurt,
and two had lost their lives, from what she'd heard. And many others were probably
being treated for burns or smoke inhalation.

This feeling of needing Manny wasn't right, not now, maybe never. But no matter what
the future held, at this moment, she was a widow, something Manny could relate to.
Still, their situations were completely different. He had been with someone he truly
loved. She'd had someone who made her life miserable. So where did she stand? She
wasn't sure if she was expected to be a widow mourning her husband. That felt hypocritical,
and she worried she'd turn shallow.

Some of the Amish were leaving after being discharged.
Others roamed the lobby, waiting
to be seen, and still others were being admitted. Once in the exam room, Lucy waited
for what seemed an eternity. When she let out a painful breath, the burn in her throat
seemed petty compared to the condition of some she'd seen at her farm and here at
the hospital.

A bustle of noise drew closer, and then Frieda came through the door with Rosy and
Nellie at her heels. “Oh, Luce, you're so pale.”

Nellie took one of the paper cups and turned on the faucet. “How are you feeling?”
She handed the cup of water to Lucy.

“I'm
gut
. I don't even need to be here, taking up space when there are others who
need attention.” She took a sip and coughed, sending needle pricks down her throat
as she drank.

Rosy handed a tissue to Lucy. “It's better to be safe than sorry. And it's good to
check on the baby, even though there's not a single thing to worry about.”

The nurse came in, took Lucy's vitals, and looked down her throat with a small flashlight.
“I'll have the doctor come and look at you, but you're in good shape. Just some soreness,
but it will pass.”

“A nice cup of warm tea with honey is all you need.”

The nurse grunted a laugh. “What you all make probably works better than what the
pharmacy has downstairs.”

“Oh, I'm sure of that.” Rosy was adamant about her herbal remedies, and as far as
Lucy knew, most of the time they did seem to work.

“Have you had an ultrasound?” The nurse typed the information into her small electronic
device, waiting for her answer.

A shot of concern sent a chill through Lucy. “
Nee
, you said the babe was fine. Why
do you think we need to?”

“Not at all. I just thought you might want to. Most mothers do.” She stopped typing
and turned to glance at the three women with
kapps
on. Lucy was the only one without
a
kapp
, having rushed out the door when the explosion happened.

“
Nee
, but thank you.” Lucy didn't know what kind of a financial situation she was
in but couldn't rationalize undergoing a procedure if she didn't have to. She thought
of Sam and tried to gather the nerve to ask about him. She was hesitant because bringing
up the reality that he was actually gone would stir up all kinds of emotions that
she couldn't deal with.

“Wouldn't that be something to see the little one in Lucy's tummy?” Rosy grinned
at the thought.

Nellie shook her head. “Then we'd want to see if it's a darling little boy or girl.”

Frieda looked over at Lucy. “We have more important things at hand, ladies.” She
went over and took Lucy's hand, seeming to know what was on her mind.

After a few long minutes the doctor walked in and pulled up a stool with wheels.
“Mrs. Wagner.” He held out his hand and shook hers. “I hear your throat is bothering
you.” She nodded as he flipped through the chart, wrote something, and set it down
on the bed next to her. “Open for me.”

The wooden taste of the tongue depressor stayed on her tongue when she closed her
mouth. Then he put the stethoscope on her belly and looked to the floor for what
seemed forever.

Nellie wrung her hands. “How are they, Doctor?”