Love's Abundant Harvest (33 page)

A rap at the door brought them back from their thoughts as a short redhead walked
through the door. “I'm Miriam, a registered nurse here. I'm going to take Rhoda's
vitals and then show you to the room you'll be calling home for a while.”

After she had finished and made her notes, she said, “I can take you to her room.”
She led them along the white-floored corridors to settle them in again.

“I don't like this shuffling around,” Lucy whispered to Manny, trying to keep up
with the nurse.

“
Nee
, it will be over soon enough.” Manny couldn't think any differently. If he did,
it would ruin him, and that couldn't happen.

“This is where you will stay while working with the doctor. Often the care of a physician
on a daily basis helps to reveal new opportunities for treatments.”

“How long does it usually take? We can't afford to be here for long.” Lucy was swaying
from side to side to keep Rhoda content.

“The doctor can give you more information about that once he makes an assessment
of your situation, and he can answer any other questions you have. Make yourself
at home, and the doctor will be in shortly.” She smiled brightly and left.

Lucy turned to face Manny. “Everyone is sure friendly in this place. I wonder how
much we're paying for that.”

“This is no time to worry about money. The community will help us out if we need
them to.”

She sighed. “I'm worried about everything; that's just one tiny piece of it. I know
you're as worried as I am, but you just don't show it.”

He took a seat and gently rocked Timmy in his seat, hoping he wouldn't fuss and want
to be held. Manny was just too tired. “This all reminds me of when Glenda was sick.
It's a helpless feeling, and all you can do is wait and hope they pull through.”

They were both silent for a moment. “But she didn't, and that has to make you more
scared than I am, even though that doesn't seem possible.”

“Still, it isn't as bleak as all that with Rhoda. I just pray
Gott
gives her strength
to live a decent life.”

“
Ach
, she will. We'll make sure of that.” She chucked little Rhoda under the chin
and smiled sadly with pinched brows and trembling lips.

Manny felt the need to get busy and organized to take his mind off what was to come.
He and Lucy unpacked and took note of where everything was that they needed and what
they should have to get situated. Then came a knock at the door. Manny glanced at
Lucy and opened it.

“
Hallo
, Keim family. It's good to see you here.” Doctor Kauffman almost smiled, as
if in relief they were there. “Let's get started.”

Instead of going to his office, they sat around a table together. The doctor asked
questions but mainly listened, not offering any information until they had expressed
what they had been through and why they had come.
They were out of ideas and knowledge
about how to raise a child with a congenital disease. It was nice to talk in Pennsylvania
Dutch, as they understood who they were when they spoke their mother tongue with
one another.

“If you take away anything from this conversation, I want you to know these diseases
are not unique to Plain populations. We receive many diverse families from different
backgrounds.”

“One last thing, Doc. We didn't go over expenses.” Manny hated to ask; it wasn't
talked about, just given when there was a need from where he came.

“We're nonprofit.” That was all he said and all he needed to, Manny guessed, but
it was also just the doctor's way, blunt and to the point. Manny could see that money
was the least of his reasons for being there.

He let out a sigh of relief, as did Lucy. “
Danke
, again.”

He stood to go and started for the door, stopped as if to ask a question, and then
held up a hand and slowly started to shut the door.

“Fannie will be coming tomorrow.” Lucy threw that out of nowhere. If Manny hadn't
heard it from Lucy, he wouldn't have been sure about what he heard.

Doc Kauffman continued matter-of-factly, as if he hadn't heard Lucy. “Get some sleep.
We have a busy day tomorrow.”

As soon as the doctor shut the door, Manny and Lucy looked at each other.

“Are you playing matchmaker?” Manny asked Lucy with a grin.

Lucy actually smiled, and Manny decided it was a perfect time for there to be a
diversion with all the grief they were going through.

I
t doesn't get more peaceful than the farm.” Lucy looked out the hospital room window
at the spinning weather vane and white house with black trim next to the clinic.
The days seemed to go on and on with no end. Genetic markers that matched up were
difficult to detect, and some of the medical conditions were so rare that doctors
didn't even have a name for them yet. Without a name, there was no cure.

“Are you homesick?” Manny came up behind her, and Lucy shuddered at his touch. She
couldn't let herself relax, hadn't been able for far too long now. How long? Since
the day she set foot on Sam's farm.

She heard Manny let out a breath. He was just as worn out as she was, staying the
course as a husband and as a
daed
to the twins.

“When is there going to be an end to this?” Manny sat on the edge of the double bed
and twined his fingers together. His blue eye was unusually dull, penetrating into
hers. She didn't know how to answer his question and, in the midst of everything
else going on, didn't have the patience to deal with it.

“This
is
us, parents of a child who has special needs. We're doing what parents do
in this situation.” Her words were strong, but not her voice. She felt the tears
well up but willed them away. She didn't have the energy to spend on a conversation
right now.

Manny looked down at the floor. He was so still, she wondered whether he'd heard
a word she said. He probably didn't want to. It wasn't the answer he was looking
for.

“We need answers.” Manny kept his eyes on the floor, not moving, staring at his boots,
which didn't seem to fit where they were. White hallways and rooms much like a hotel
with adequate meals, but nothing like what he was used to back in the community.
She thought about how he must be wishing he was outdoors in the fresh air. Even doing
chores was better than staying cooped up all day with doctors and nurses who were
telling them the next step or procedure they recommended.

“What else can we expect?” But as soon as her words came out, she knew exactly what
he meant. Lucy lifted a palm to her head and closed her eyes. On cue Rhoda began
to fuss. Then came the cry. It was different than other babies' cries, different
than Timmy's. Lucy could tell after having lived with it for weeks on end, and she
knew Rhoda was like the others here.

“It's just like the doctor said. Cohen syndrome.” The crippling disease was a genetic
disorder, a handicapping condition.

“Is this
Gott
's
wille
?” He shook his head.

“That's what the bishop will say and many in the community.” The doctor had prepared
them for this, but Lucy had ignored his words, denying it would happen to her or
to Rhoda. But in the back of her mind, she analyzed the conditions that the doctor
had explained, knowing it fit her baby to the letter.

Manny finally looked up to meet her eyes. “You don't believe it is?”

“
Nee
, I don't.” She held his stare. “Will I be shunned for
not believing the church
ways?” She held her baby more tightly to her, placing her tiny cheek next to hers.

“You might be, Lucy.” He seemed irritated, but she didn't care at the moment. She
hadn't had to deal with this way of the Amish until now. It was easy to say to others
what they wanted to hear when she believed what she was saying. But now that it was
her own daughter, her mind was changed.

“Does that make me a hypocrite?”

Manny dropped his head. “I'm not in the frame of mind to discuss it. We'll deal with
the bishop when need be.”

A knock on the door got Rhoda crying again, and Lucy wanted to join her. She felt
she was the worst person on the earth at that moment. An awful wife, worn-out
mamm
.
. . and now going against the church. She could do no right.

Manny stood and walked to the door slowly, as if his legs were bags of corn. As soon
as the door opened, the doc walked into the room. “Morning,” Manny said, gesturing
to a chair. “Have a seat.” But the doc shook his head and glanced over at Lucy holding
Rhoda.

“I'm going to be honest with you and tell you something you already know. There is
no cure for your daughter now, but I am hopeful there will be one at some future
time.”

“What does that mean for Rhoda?” Manny's tone was without emotion, straightforward
and to the point. The fatigue had gotten to all of them.

“Rhoda will have a host of physical problems. She has a condition that causes retardation.
But what I want to share with you is the quality of life she
can
have.”

“How can you begin to tell us there is any quality at all?” Manny's nostrils flared,
and his face reddened.

“You will make it so. There is no telling how Rhoda will progress. One family with
three girls varies from a twenty-four-year-old who functions at a nine-month-old
level to a five-year-old performing well enough to join the children at her Amish
community school.” Doc paused. “You are her
daed
, a darn good one taking in these
three.” He gestured to Lucy and the babies.

Then he turned to her. “And I hope you appreciate this man as much as you should.”

Lucy knew what she had in Manny and had tried every way to get over her bad side.
But it had taken this man standing next to Lucy to call her out on it.

Manny stood abruptly. “I need some space.” He turned and grabbed Timmy's baby seat,
the bottle of breast milk from the refrigerator, and his bag.

“Where are you going?” Lucy could hardly get the words out before he shut the door
behind him. When the door clicked, she turned to the doctor. “I can't believe he
just left like that.” But then again, she could. She was feeling the same way he
was.

“You just lost the most important piece of this whole situation.” Doc let out the
air in his lungs and then stood. “There is hope.”

Without Manny she couldn't do this—not alone. But then she couldn't blame him; this
had worn their relationship thin. It was just a matter of time before he'd had enough.
She was tired too. When would things go back to the way they were?

“Your sister is here.”

Her eyes began to water. “Fannie? Is here?” Lucy tried to stand, but didn't have
the energy. The next she knew,
the doctor was gone, and Fannie was by her side, holding
her hand and rocking Rhoda.

“You are a mess.” She shook her head, a familiar gesture that was one of Fannie's
condescending ways of warning her that she was about to be whipped into shape.

“What am I going to do?”

“One thing at a time.”

“Manny—”

“
Nee
, you have to get yourself together first. And let him simmer down. If I were
him, I'd run the other way and never come back.” Fannie's frown and pause meant Lucy
was to answer, but Lucy didn't want to hear the words as to how things had gone.

“You had a lot going for you and your family.”

“I know, I know.
Mammi
said it was the hormones, and Rosy gave me herbs—”

Fannie shook her head. “Excuses. You had the perfect fit, and if you don't make some
changes, you'll blow it all away.”

Lucy she was ready for Fannie's chastising to end. “I'll fix it. Just give me some
time to figure things out.”

“You don't have time. I heard Doc Kauffman telling a nurse you'd probably be released
tomorrow, or, I suppose, whenever you and Manny can sit down together long enough
to get through what the doctor needs to tell you before you're discharged.”

“You mean that's it? There's nothing more they can do?”

“They can help you raise your baby girl in the best way possible. There is no magic
herb from Rosy, and you can't blame the change on everything that's eating at you.
You have two beautiful children and an incredible man who
would walk on water to
make you happy.” She lifted her brows. “Take it and make it right.”

Lucy wiped away the tears and looked over at her confidant, friend, and sister.
“I'm glad you're here. What took you so long?”

Fannie looked at the door and then back to Lucy. “I came one other time and wasn't
comfortable . . . ”