Lulu in LA LA Land (16 page)

Johnny grabs Watson and begins to wipe him down.

ALEXIS

Isn't chocolate poisonous to dogs? Maybe don't go to the vet.

LULU

(gasps)

Lex, that's awful!

JOHNNY

Here's my suggestion for the cupcake crisis. Get that chocolate brown Sprinkles Mercedes van here on the double.

ALEXIS

Johnny! You're a genius!

Lulu is on her hands and knees cleaning the ruined cupcakes off the floor.

Alexis calls from her iPhone. After a minute she taps to end the call.

ALEXIS

They guarantee that within fifteen minutes, their cupcake truck, with all flavors on board, will be sailing up the driveway.

LULU

Hey, perfect. Everyone in L.A. eats off of trucks.

Elana sticks her head in.

ELANA

Girls, you do a nice job with this party. You work together to make something muy bueno. Everyone loves it. Hernandez is getting body rub! Officer Gale getting a manicure! I'm proud of you two. Now, go and enjoy the fiesta!

LULU

I think I better wait for Mom and Dad to come.

ELANA

If I were you, I'd enjoy now while you can.

Lulu and Alexis exchange a look then scamper off to join the party.

INT. PARTY TENT—HALF HOUR LATER

The Spa-tacular is in full swing. Cheerful calypso music swirls around the party tent. The guests, who now call themselves Lulu-istas, bop, dance, or shuffle from spa treatment to food buffet in their slippers and robes.

Even the servers and spa technicians are enjoying themselves. The servers love watching guests try things like tempeh for the first time. The spa crew enjoys giving most guests their first facial, scrubbing, massage, or manicure.

Lulu, Alexis, and Mr. Garza sit side by side, waiting for their pedicures to dry. All three munch on chips and salsa.

LULU

Mr. Garza, I don't think anyone likes your salsa more than Alexis here.

ALEXIS

This salsa is supreme! It tastes great with anything dipped into it, especially these tofu skewers.

Alexis rubs a tofu cube into the remaining salsa.

MR. GARZA

Gracias, Alexis. Ya know, Lulu helped me make this recipe better. Last summer she come to the truck and bring me cilantro from her garden. We make experiments with the salsa, and boom, it become perfecto!

Wide-eyed, Alexis turns to her sister. She's been learning lots about Lulu today, like how she cleans up beaches from Venice to Zuma and rescues dogs at L.A. city pounds.

LULU

Look, there's no salsa left, and my toes are kinda dry. I'll go to your truck for a refill, Señor Garza.

Lulu picks up the empty bowl and heads to the tent entrance.

Exiting the tent flap, Lulu smashes right into…her MOM!! Fiona halts abruptly. Linc bumps into Fiona's back.

All three freeze for a split second, enough time for Fiona's fury to seep from her eyes and into every pore of Lulu's body. Lulu, normally skilled at fast talking, can't speak.

FIONA

(trying to control herself)

In exactly four hours, Linc and I are supposed to be on the Academy Awards red carpet in front of millions of people.

(in an icy-cold voice)

And look at us. How did all this happen?

LINC

(usually the voice of laid-back charm now yells)

And what the heck is all THIS?

Linc waves his arms around, taken aback by the scene. A taco truck and cupcake van parked in front of his stately mansion. An enormous tent is plunked on his lawn. People of all sizes, colors, and ages are lounging, laughing, munching, and wearing white ladybug robes. And Watson, with his belly dragging, is running around naked!

LULU

It's, uhhhh, I know you're mad, but I can explain.

LINC

(exploding)

I said, what the HECK is THIS?

Alexis, who risks ruining her freshly painted toes, dashes from the pedicure chair right up to her Dad's nose.

ALEXIS

(sounding brave)

Well, Lincoln Harrison, I'll tell you what the heck this is. It's Lulu's birthday!

LULU

(jumping in)

I know it's also the Academy Awards and all. It's just that, well, it was my birthday first. I mean we, well, actually Lex mostly, planned this party before we knew. But honestly, it's all my fault.

ALEXIS

(strong and secure)

There is no fault here. Today is the day Lulu was born.

Alexis wraps a long, thin arm around her little sister's shoulder. Fiona and Linc stand dumfounded. They have no idea what's coming next.

ALEXIS

Fiona, you brought her into this world, and ever since then I've been the luckiest person because I have this amazing little sister.

Lulu is stunned and no longer afraid. She has her sister's protection, and more importantly, she realizes she has her sister's love.

LULU

Dad and Mom, I know you're probably not saying anything because you're worried that you won't be able to get ready for the Academy Awards. And it just so happened that your appointments, ummmm, were canceled.

Lulu and Alexis shoot each other sideways glances and try not to giggle.

FIONA

(finally speaks)

There are so many reasons I'm about to fly into a rage right now I can't even count them.

LULU

Well, let's just start with the time problem. You've gotta get ready to look glamorous ASAP.

FIONA

I was supposed to start getting ready hours ago!

LULU

Right, well, Alexis thought of that. Lex, tell her how we've got spa professionals right here.

As Alexis begins to talk, her parents remain frozen in confusion.

ALEXIS

Hotel Bel-Air Spa sent up their whole A-plus glam team. Oh, and we have an extra masseuse because Eve's here.

FIONA

Wait, did you say Eve is here?

LULU

Oh, that was a last-minute muy importante addition. Sophia's mom just had to be here with Sophia.

Fiona realizes that Eve, with her celebrity clientele, must have decided to give up thousands of dollars today in order to be at Lulu's birthday party. That's a lot of money for a hard-working single mother. As if pelted by hot coals, Fiona begins to thaw.

Fiona faces Linc to debate their situation.

Harsh tones and sharp words poke through Fiona and Linc's conversation. Lulu's stomach tightens.

When the tent flap opens again, Petal coolly strides in wearing a ladybug robe and butterfly slippers.

LULU

Hey, Petal!

PETAL

Happy b-day, girlfriend!

Petal takes a small box from her robe pocket and hands it to Lulu.

PETAL

Before I get a facial, Lu, open the box.

Lulu yanks off the lid and pulls out keys to the Escalade.

PETAL

I won't need those for a while.

Petal spots Linc and Fiona.

PETAL

Peace, guys! Relaaax!

LINCOLN

(sees Lulu holding car keys)

Does Petal think you're turning sixteen or something?

FIONA

(much calmer)

I think Petal just gave Lulu, well, ummm, us.

LINC

(still angry and jumpy)

What are you talking about?! What's happening here?

FIONA

(slowly)

Petal handed Lulu the car keys, but what she really gave Lulu is our time for the next few hours.

LULU

Mom, Dad, that's really what I want more than anything in the world! You guys being at my party has been my birthday wish for—

ALEXIS

(cutting in)

Dad, do you even know how old Lulu is today?

LINC

(flustered and confused)

What? Definitely! She's…uhhhh…OK, let's think. Lulu, you were born in…just tell me the year, and I'll figure it out.

ALEXIS

Here's the deal, Linc. If you get Lulu's age wrong, then you and Mom stay. But if you get it right—

FIONA

(motioning for server to bring her water)

We stay. We stay either way. What an honor to be your guests, because…

(pausing to control her emotions)

…Lulu and Alexis, I love you. You two are SO my girls.

Lulu and Alexis look at each other with amazement then back at their mom.

FIONA

Who else, at ages eleven and fifteen-and-three-quarters, could pull all this…

(motioning around the tent)

…off?

LULU

Oh, Mom!

Lulu wraps her arms tightly around her mother's waist. Her mother bends down to hold Lulu in return, but not before pulling her huge Tom Ford sunglasses over her eyes to hide the tears that are welling up.

ALEXIS

(to Fiona)

Hotel Bel-Air's best spa team awaits. Let's get you Hollywood glamorous.

LULU

And feed you the tastiest food to give you energy!

FIONA

Well, if Lex is in charge of the beauty and Lulu's in charge of the food, I'll be perfectly covered here. My first stop, however, is going to be Eve. It's been a slightly stressful morning.

Lulu, Alexis, and Fiona discuss where Eve might be.

Mr. Ling approaches Linc. Ling's face is red and puffy.

MR. LING

Excuse me, sir. I think I'm having a chemical reaction caused by my facial.

(embarrassed, pushes his glasses up his nose)

Can you tell me where there's a bathroom?

LINC

(concern in his voice)

Hey, dude, you really are red. Let me help ya out here. Follow me.

Lulu rushes over.

LULU

(to Mr. Ling)

What's happened?

(to her dad)

Mr. Ling's my science teacher.

MR. LING

Everything is fine. I just need to wash this substance off my face. It's starting to burn.

LULU

Mr. Ling, this is my father.

(gestures toward Linc)

But I'll show you where to go.

MR. LING

No, wait. This is your father? He should be so proud of you.

(to Linc)

I've had Lulu in my class for three years. A most inquisitive, intelligent science student. Always a delight. Never a day of trouble.

Lulu's mind drifts from the conversation. She looks down at her smudged polished toes. Absolutely, at this moment, her father thinks she is nothing BUT trouble and that there isn't anything delightful about her today, or most days, of his Hollywood life. Lulu's thoughts are interrupted by Mr. Ling's soft laughter.

LINC

(noticing Lulu's curious eyes as she tunes into the conversation)

I've been telling Mr. Ling here that I agree with him. You're beyond a fantastic delight. And that you've never given me a day of trouble. Just a huge jolt from time to time.

Linc pulls his daughter close. Lulu buries her face in his sweater. This is the warmest birthday hug ever. She lets go of Linc after feeling a tap on her shoulder.

MR. LING

Excuse me. The bathroom? My face is actually stinging.

LINC

(choking back emotion)

Hey, man. So is mine. C'mon. Let's go. I gotta wash up too.

Lulu looks up to see her father's face blotched red. Before she can study his emerald green eyes brimming with tears, Linc puts his hand on Mr. Ling's elbow and steers him toward the house.

INT. PARTY TENT—30 MINUTES LATER

Linc and Fiona have settled down to get themselves Academy Award ready. Fiona's minimassage helped her unwind and settle her nerves; now she's moved on to nails and hair.

Linc gobbles down tamales and chats with guests. Fiona makes sure Linc's nails get buffed and his hair
coiffed
.

Suddenly, Alexis looks over Lulu's shoulder and lets out a shriek.

Sauntering toward Lulu is none other than Stab and his beautiful, gigantic girlfriend Slovinia, AKA GLAMAZON. Linc calls out while getting his hair trimmed.

LINC

(smiling)

Hey, man, this is an exclusive party! You got credentials? You on the list?

Linc and Stab laugh—a couple of boys messing around.

STAB

(to Lulu)

Birthday girl! Look, you've got it all going on!

Stab grabs Lulu and lifts her into the air.

LULU

(whispering into his ear)

Thanks for calling their assistants.

STAB

(whispers back)

Thanks for calling me, sweetheart. Nothing I love more than messing up the order of things.

Alexis leads Glamazon into the spa tent.

Sophia shyly approaches Lulu and Stab. Seeing Sophia, Stab sets Lulu down.

LULU

Stab, this is Sophia, my best friend.

STAB

Well, you must be incredible also, Miss Sophia.

Speechless, Sophia smiles.

STAB

(thick English accent)

I saw a truck outside with some brilliant-smelling food. Mind if I make my way there while Slovinia's not looking?

Stab gives them a big wink then heads for the Taco Truck. Jenna dashes over.