Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Princesses, #Magic, #Epic, #Fantasy fiction; American, #Xanth (Imaginary place)
BUT A PRINCESS IS NOT A CROOK.
"I'll make an exception."
THEN I WILL HAVE TO HOLD YOU CAPTIVE.
Ivy delivered a haughty stare. "Are you threatening me,
you crock?"
YES.
So much for bluffing! "Then it's war!"
IT ALWAYS WAS.
"War, then," she said boldly. "Where do you have the
mirror?"
WHY DO YOU WANT IT?
"Why should I tell you that?"
WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU WHERE IT IS?
Oh. "You mean you'll tell me where it is, if I tell you
why I want it?"
OF COURSE.
' 'I need it to take with me when I use the Heaven Cent.''
The screen blinked. This news had evidently taken the
machine aback. Then the words appeared: THE MIRROR is
IN THE CABINET BY THE BACK EXIT.
Ivy looked toward the rear of the cave. There was a
cabinet. She knew the machine could not tell an untruth,
but it could tell a partial truth. "Is the cabinet locked?"
NO.
"There must be some reason I can't get it, even if I
beat you."
THERE IS NO REASON.
"I don't believe it!"
GO TO THE CABINET. TAKE THE MIRROR.
"You're giving it to me?" she asked incredulously.
NO. I AM MERELY EVINCING MY GOOD FAITH. YOU MAY
HOLD THE MIRROR. IT DOES NOT MATTER, BECAUSE IF I
MAKE YOU CAPTIVE, THE MIRROR REMAINS CAPTIVE TOO.
Ivy walked to the cabinet. She pulled open its top
drawer. There was the magic mirror! She picked it up.
"Maybe it's the wrong mirror!" Nada exclaimed.
"Maybe it only looks like the one you want."
TEST IT, the machine printed imperturbably.
"Show me my brother," Ivy told the mirror.
Man from Mundania
n
Prince Dolph appeared in the mirror. He was sitting
quite still. That was suspicious.
"Show me the larger context," she said.
The image of Dolph shrank as the scope of the scene
increased. Now the image showed the boy sitting on Ivy's
bed, watching the magic Tapestry.
"That little stink hom!" Ivy exclaimed. "He sneaked
into my room to watch the Tapestry!"
"That figures," Nada said. "He does like it."
Ivy nodded. "Almost as well as he likes you," she
agreed.
The mirror was genuine. "All right. Pewter," Ivy said.
"Now it starts. I'm walking out of here—with the mir-
ror." She started walking toward the front of the cave.
PRINCESS IVY CHANGES HER MIND, the screen printed.
"Well, maybe not with the mirror," she said.
"Ivy!" Nada cried. "Don't let him rewrite the script!"
Ivy glared at the screen. "So you're doing it. Pewter!"
she said severely. "Well, it won't work! I'm not changing
my mind!" She resumed walking.
PRINCESS IVY SEES A BIG HAIRY SPIDER ON THE FLOOR.
There was the spider, right in front of her. ' 'Eeeeek!''
she screeched, horrified.
"Don't fall for that!" Nada called. "It's illusion!"
"But it's a big hairy illusion!" Ivy replied.
' 'Just walk through it!''
Ivy realized that she would have to do just that. She
took a nervous step toward the spider.
The spider reared up on six of its hairy legs, and hissed.
Ivy skipped back, affrighted again.
"This is ridiculous," Nada said. "I'll take care of that
spider." For the naga had no fear of spiders; they ate
them.
NADA ENCOUNTERS HER WORST HORROR, the Screen
printed.
The spider converted into a man-high mound of cake
covered with ice cream covered with chocolate fudge with
whipped cream topping.
"Oh, ugh!" Nada exclaimed, retreating.
"You hate cake?" Electra asked, amazed.
12 Man from Mundania
"When I traveled with Dolph, we came to an isle—one
of the keys—made of cake and icing and all. We ate until
we got sick. Ever since, I can't stand the stuff. My stom-
ach turns at the very notion!"
"Well, mine doesn't!" Electra said. "Let me at it!"
ELECTRA ENCOUNTERS HER WORST HORROR.
The cake reshaped into an open coffin. The interior was
plush, and there was a coverlet and pillow inside. It looked
quite comfortable.
Electra's eyes went round with horror. "No, no! I don't
want to go back to sleep there!" she cried, retreating. For
she had slept for a thousand years (minus time on" for good
behavior) in just such a coffin, having fallen in as victim
of a curse by Magician Murphy. If she ever went back to
it, she would slumber the rest of the sentence, then die in
her sleep. She backed away until she almost banged into
the big screen.
Which was exactly where Ivy wanted her. "I think we've
had enough of this," she said firmly. "I'm not going to
let that hairy spider stop me this time! Nada—"
"Right." Nada abruptly changed form, becoming a
snake. If the spider reappeared, she would snap it up.
NADA ENCOUNTERS—the screen began.
But at that point Electra, responding to their agreed
signal, slapped her hand down on top of the screen and
delivered a tremendous jolt of electric current. That was
her talent, of course, and it was formidable in the right
situation.
The screen nickered. WRITE-ERROR! it flashed. Then
gibberish symbols raced across it. Then more words: IN-
TERRUPTS OFF! Then nothing; it faded out entirely.
"Come on, let's get out of here before he recovers!"
Ivy said. She hurried across the cave. Nothing opposed
her; the illusions that had been the spider, cake, and coffin
were gone. Electra's shock had thrown Corn-Pewter into
confusion, and he would have to put all his circuits in
order before he could resume revising reality.
They ran out, Nada resuming human form. There was
Stanley in the entrance tunnel, steaming. Had their elec-
tric magic ploy failed, the dragon would have fired a jet
r
Man from Mundania
13
of hot steam at the screen, and that probably would have
done the job. They had come prepared.
They rushed out into daylight while Stanley guarded
their rear. If Com-Pewter recovered too soon and started
printing barriers to their escape, the dragon would use his
head of steam after all.
The day remained clear, but there was now a horrible
smell, as of a hundred fat men sweating in unison.
Electra was childishly fleet on her feet. She led the
way—and suddenly stopped. "Ooof!" she grunted, and
sat down, gasping.
Ivy was next. " 'Lectra! What's the matter?"
Electra, still struggling for breath, pointed ahead. But
there was nothing there.
"The odor must have choked her," Nada said, coming
up. "Did a sphinx die nearby?"
Ivy stepped forward—and banged into an invisible col-
umn.
Then, from above, came a sound: "A-ooo-ga?"
"The invisible giant!" Ivy exclaimed. "He's standing
here!"
"Because he doesn't know what to do now that Com-
Pewter's on the blink," Nada said. "But we can help
him." She tilted her head back. "Hey, Giant!" she called.
"Go take a bath!"
"Baaath?" the huge voice came back.
"Go jump in the lake!" Ivy called helpfully.
The monstrous invisible legs moved. The ground quaked
with each footfall. In a moment a patch of trees to the side
was flattened. Then another patch, in the shape of a tre-
mendous footprint. Then there was a truly phenomenal
splash in the nearby lake.
"Move—before everything floods!" Ivy cried, helping
Electra to her feet. The girl wasn't hurt; she had just had
the breath knocked out of her.
They ran on down the path—and indeed, a wash of wa-
ter was coming, and drops spattered down around them
like rain.
Stanley whomped after them, catching up. They had
made their escape—and Ivy had the mirror!
14
Man from Mundania
Man from Mundania
15
* * *
There was whatfor to pay when they returned, of course,
but Ivy was used to that; she had gotten into mischief all
her cute life. She had recovered the magic mirror, and
that went far to stifle her mother's sharp tongue. Anyway,
Dolph had been watching their little adventure on the Tap-
estry, and would have warned King Dor had things gone
really bad.
Still, Ivy was bothered by one aspect of it. It seemed
to her that their escape had been too easy. Sober later
reflection suggested that surely Com-Pewter had known of
Electra's talent, and could have insulated himself against
it. Why hadn't he done so? Had he been careless, just this
once? It had seemed so at the time, but in retrospect this
seemed less likely. It was almost as if the machine had
wanted to give back the mirror. But that didn't seem to
make sense. Com-Pewter never did anything for anybody
voluntarily, unless he stood to gain a lot more than he lost.
What could he gain from giving up the valuable mirror?
Well, the deed was done, and she had the mirror. Now
she had confidence to use the Heaven Cent. For now that