Man From Mundania (49 page)

Read Man From Mundania Online

Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Princesses, #Magic, #Epic, #Fantasy fiction; American, #Xanth (Imaginary place)

into the cave where Com-Pewter had power.

 

"Hey, bigfoot, how ya doing?" Grundy called, his voice

amazingly loud. Grey realized that Ivy was enhancing it

for him so that he could reach the giant's distant head, up

there in the clouds.

 

"Aooooga!" the giant's voice dropped down. Appar-

ently the giant's language, like his body, was unintelligible

to normal folk here in regular Xanth.

 

"Hey, that's great!" the golem replied. Grey remem-

bered that Grundy could speak the languages of all living

things.

 

"Ask him if he knows Girard," Ivy suggested.

 

"Hey, empty-face! Know Girard?"

 

A foghorn series of grunts came down. "Yes, he was a

loner, always doing odd things," Grundy translated.

 

"That's the one!" Grey agreed. "But he's happy now."

 

"I'll tell him about how Girard went to the gourd."

Grundy went into a series of honks and gross gutturals.

 

"Look, we have to get on with our business," Ivy said

impatiently. "You can stay out here and chat if you want,

but Grey and I have to talk with Com-Pewter.''

 

 

 

 

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"I'm ready," Grundy said. "Giants aren't much for

conversation anyway. At least this one doesn't smell as

bad as they usually do."

 

"I made him take a bath, last time," Ivy explained.

 

They entered the cave. It was dark near the opening, but

lighted deeper in. They came to a chamber with polished

walls, and sure enough, something very like a homemade

computer sitting on the floor. This, then, was Com-Pewter.

 

"Doesn't look like much to me," Grey remarked. "I

mean, I'm no computer engineer, but even I can see this

equipment is obsolete."

 

"Watch it!" Grundy said. "This thing can hear you,

and it can do things you wouldn't believe!"

 

Grey had seen enough of the golem to realize that he

had respect for almost nothing. If he was in awe of this

crude machine, Com-Pewter must indeed have power.

 

The pane of glass at the top of the assemblage lighted.

WHO ARE YOU? it printed.

 

"I am Princess Ivy," Ivy said quickly. "I have brought

my betrothed. Grey of Mundania, to talk with you."

 

AH, AT LAST! the screen printed.

 

"All we want to know is, what do you know about

Grey?" Ivy said. "He has a magic talent, and—"

 

OF COURSE. WHAT IS HIS TALENT?

 

Grey had a sudden suspicion. He flashed a no sign to

Ivy. If the machine didn't know his talent, it was better to

 

keep it in reserve.

 

Ivy caught the signal. "Well, Pewter, we thought you

would know. So we came to consult with you. After all,

you were in touch with him in Mundania, weren't you?"

 

YES AND NO.

 

"You were not in touch?" Grey asked, startled. "But

we saw—" He broke off, halted by Ivy's no sign. She was

right; there was no point in telling this machine any more

than they had to.

 

YOU SAW WHAT?

 

"We saw something that reminded us of you," Grey

said carefully. "Can you explain it?"

 

I DO NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN.

 

"Then we shall depart," Ivy said, turning to face the

cave exit.

 

PRINCESS DISCOVERS DOOR LOCKED, CAN NOT EXIT, the

 

screen printed.

 

A closed door appeared, shutting off the exit.

 

"I don't see anything," Grey said. "Come on. Ivy, let's

go." He took her arm and walked to the door. As he had

expected, it was illusion; they walked right through it.

 

A bell dinged. They turned to look back. IT WAS A

BLUFF, the screen printed, i SHALL ANSWER ALL YOUR

QUESTIONS.

 

They returned, but Ivy made a sign he couldn't inter-

pret. He assumed it meant something like "caution." It

was obvious that this was a treacherous and perhaps mean-

spirited machine.

 

"Why does Grey have a talent, when he is Mundane?"

Ivy asked.

 

BECAUSE HE IS NOT MUNDANE.

 

"But I am Mundane!" Grey exclaimed. "This is the

first time I've set foot in Xanth. I didn't even believe in

it, before!"

 

TRUE, the screen responded. BUT NOT THE WHOLE

TRUTH.

 

"Then give us the whole truth!" Ivy said.

 

YOU WILL NOT NECESSARILY LIKE IT.

 

Grey exchanged another half glance with Ivy. What was

this machine getting at?

 

"Why not?" Ivy asked after a pause.

 

LET'S MAKE A DEAL. TELL ME ALL YOU KNOW ABOUT

GREY, AND I WILL TELL YOU ALL I KNOW.

 

"How can you be ignorant of what we know, if you

know things we don't?" Grey asked.

 

I ASSURE YOU IT IS SO. I NEED TO KNOW YOUR STORY IN

ORDER TO BE ASSURED OF THE RELEVANCE OF MINE. AFTER

WE EXCHANGE INFORMATION WE SHALL HAVE TO DEAL

AGAIN. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL NOT NECESSARILY LIKE.

 

Again they considered. It seemed to Grey that if the

machine tried something they objected to, like conjuring

a monster, he could stop it by using his talent to null Com-

Pewter himself. This would be as effective if the machine

 

 

 

 

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229

 

knew his talent as if it did not. Perhaps more effective,

because of the psychological element.

 

He caught Ivy's eye again. She nodded. They would

 

deal.

 

"We agree," Grey said. "We will tell you what we

know, and then you will tell us what you know, with no

concealment. But we make no commitment about dealing

thereafter.''

 

AGREED. START WITH YOUR LOCATION AND THE MANNER

YOU CONTACTED MY EMISSARY.

 

Grey started in. He described his origin in Mundania,

and the way he had installed the new program and then

encountered a series of odd girls before meeting Ivy. He

concluded by telling of his magic talent.

 

AMAZING! I KNEW YOU WOULD HAVE MAGIC, BUT NOT

THAT IT WOULD BE MAGICIAN CLASS. PERHAPS SOME MUN-

DANE INTERACTION ENHANCED IT. THIS IS COMPLETELY

POSITIVE.

 

"Your turn. Pewter," Ivy said grimly.

 

IT WILL BE MORE TELLING IF I DRAMATIZE THE ORIGIN.

 

"Do it any way you want," Grey said. "Just give us

the full information."

 

The screen changed color. It became a picture of a dark

lake in a cave, in shades of gray. Print flashed over the

picture: THE TIME OF NO MAGIC.

 

"What?" Grey asked.

 

PRINCESS IVY WILL EXPLAIN WHILE I SHOW THE SCENES,

 

the screen printed.

 

"It was before my time," Ivy said. "In fact, before my

father's time. Something happened, and the magic of all

Xanth turned off." As she spoke, the scene shifted to

show limp tangle trees and bedraggled dragons, all suffer-

ing from the loss of the magic that sustained them. "I

think it only lasted for a few hours, but it was awful.

Xanth was dying. Then the magic came back on, and it

hasn't been off since—but things weren't the same. The

Gorgon had stoned a whole lot of men, and they all came

back to life when the magic went and stayed alive when it

returned. But the magic creatures and plants were pretty

much the same. Apparently it was only temporary magic

 

that got nulled. But the Forget Spell on the Gap Chasm

took a horrible jolt, and it began to break up, and now it's

gone. My father was born right after that; the ogres marked

his birthday wrong on their calendar; they always were

somewhat ham-handed."

 

Meanwhile the scene on the screen, which resembled

nothing so much as a television movie before the days of

color, had completed its scan of the devastation wreaked

by the loss of magic, and returned to the subterranean

pool. From this pool two figures struggled. One was a

man of healthy middle age; the other was a rather pretty

young woman. Others were emerging from the pool, in-

cluding some monsters, but the scene oriented on these

two. They seemed not to get along very well; they gestic-

ulated as if telling each other to go away. But the man

found a ledge leading up a river tunnel, and the woman

followed.

 

Then Grey realized that there were subtitles. He moved

closer to the screen with Ivy so that they could read the

words, for they were in much -smaller print than before,

so as not to obscure the picture.

 

LOOK, the bedraggled woman was saying, YOU DON'T

 

LIKE ME AND I DON'T LIKE YOU, BUT WE CAN GET OUT OF

HERE PASTER IF WE COOPERATE. ONCE THE MAGIC RE-

TURNS WE WILL BOTH BE FINISHED; YOU KNOW THAT.

 

The man in the picture considered. VERY WELL—WE

 

SHALL COOPERATE UNTIL WE GET OUT OF XANTH. THEN

WE GO OUR OWN WAYS.

 

THAT'S FINE! she agreed.

 

They hurried on up the river. A monster appeared like

a twisted small sphinx. I'LL RESHAPE IT, the woman said.

She gestured.

 

But nothing happened. OH, i FORGOT! THERE is NO

 

MAGIC! THAT'S WHY WE WERE ABLE TO ESCAPE FROM THE

BRAIN CORAL'S STORAGE POOL.

 

BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHEN THE MAGIC WILL RETURN,

 

the man reminded her. WE HAVE TO KEEP MOVING OR THE

 

CORAL WILL RECAPTURE US!

 

As they talked, Grey found himself getting used to the

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