Man From Mundania (66 page)

Read Man From Mundania Online

Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Princesses, #Magic, #Epic, #Fantasy fiction; American, #Xanth (Imaginary place)

 

"Blank," Grey said.

 

"Blank," Ivy agreed.

 

"Blankety blank," Dolph said.

 

Grey focused his doubt again. He doubted that either

cottage or castle was there, but he had no idea what might

 

 

 

 

306 Man from Mundania

 

really be there. He kept his doubt as pure as he could,

expecting nothing.

 

The cottage was fuzzed out. The castle tried to fuzz in.

Dolph forestalled it with more doubt, refusing to be tricked

by the present illusion.

 

An amorphous cloud developed, hovering uncertainly,

unable to become one form or the other. Grey continued

doubting, refusing to let it coalesce. He kept his expecta-

tions blank. Only reality would be allowed to manifest!

Gradually the cloud thinned, revealing—nothing.

 

"Oops," Ivy said.

 

Grey looked at her. "But there should be something!"

 

"We're out of the dream," she explained. "You nulled

it right down to nothing."

 

"Reality!" he exclaimed in disgust. And realized that

that was what he had expected.

 

Dolph stepped forward. "What's that?"

 

They looked. There was a box sitting on the ground.

 

They walked toward the box. The landscape seemed

completely barren; there were no trees or bushes, and no

sunshine or cloud. It seemed to be a wasteland, except for

the box.

 

There turned out to be three boxes, in a row, each dark

and oblong and large enough to hold a man.

 

"Oh, no!" Ivy breathed, horrified. "Coffins!"

 

Ttiere had been three in the Good Magician's family:

 

Humfrey, the Gorgon, and their son, Hugo.

 

"The dream address!" Dolph said, sharing her horror.

"It was the way to find them—but it didn't say they were

alive!''

 

Could the Good Magician have seen his death coming,

and acted to hide himself from Xanth so that no one would

know? But what was the point of that?

 

"To let others think he would one day return," Ivy said,

her thoughts pacing his. "So that Xanth wouldn't mourn

for him—or give its enemies courage."

 

"Enemies like Com-Pewter," Grey said, seeing it. "But

now we have undone his artifice, so that Xanth can no

longer be protected even by the threat of Humfrey's re-

turn."

 

Man from Mundania

 

307

 

"Com-Pewter must have known!" Ivy said. "That's

why he acted now!"

 

But Grey wasn't quite satisfied with that. "Why didn't

Com-Pewter simply tell us Humfrey was dead, then? So

that there was no chance to get an Answer?"

 

Ivy shrugged. "Maybe Pewter wasn't quite sure."

 

"And maybe it's not true!" Grey said. "Maybe we're

not out of this quest yet!''

 

"But if they are in coffins—"

 

"Electra was in a coffin, wasn't she?" Grey strode to

the nearest box. Now he saw an inscription on a plaque

set in it. But the words were indecipherable. "What does

this say?"

 

Ivy approached. She almost smiled. "Do Not Disturb,"

she read. "It's in Xanthian script. This must be Mun-

dania, so you can't read it."

 

"Or something like that," Grey agreed. "Electra was

in a similar state, I believe."

 

They checked the other coffins. Neither had a plaque.

"Maybe they don't mind being disturbed," Dolph offered.

 

"Probably so," Ivy said. "It was always the Good Ma-

gician who was grumpy about folk taking up his time."

 

"Then I'm going to open this one."

 

Ivy was shocked. "But you can't do that! It's not nice

to disturb the dead!"

 

"If he is dead," Grey said grimly. "I doubt it."

He put his hand to the lid of the coffin. There was no

 

fastening. He lifted, and it came up.

A wizened little man lay within, looking just as if he

 

were sleeping. "Hey, Magician Humfrey!" Grey said

 

boldly.

 

The eyelids flickered, then the eyes opened. The lips

parted. "Go away," they said.

 

"I am Grey Murphy, and I need an Answer," Grey

said.

 

"Go away. I am no longer giving Answers."

"Here is my Question: how can I void the service I owe

to Com-Pewter?"

 

"Go away," the mouth said, grimacing. "I'll give your

Answer when I'm done here."

 

Man from Mundania

 

308

 

"How long will that be?"

The mouth formed a fifth of a smile. "Is that another

 

Question?"

 

"No!"

 

"If you want an Answer, serve me until I return. Then

you may have it, if you still want it. Now go away—and

don't slam the lid." The eyes closed.

 

"There is an Answer!" Ivy breathed.

 

"But what good is it, if he returns after a year or more,

and I have to leave Xanth in a week?" Grey demanded.

 

The Good Magician's near eye squinched open again.

"No way. Mundane! You must serve until I return, with-

out interruption, or I will not be responsible for the con-

sequence."

 

"But I must serve Com-Pewter! That's my problem!"

 

"After you complete your service to me," the Good

Magician said firmly. "Otherwise you forfeit your An-

swer." The eye closed again.

 

"But how can I serve you, if you're asleep?" Grey

asked, hardly making sense of this.

 

"Go to my castle. You will find a way." The features

fell into composure; the Good Magician was back in his

 

dream.

 

Grey lowered the lid, depressed. Apparently there was

an Answer to his problem, but unless the Good Magician

returned to his castle before the week was out—which

seemed unlikely—Grey would have to go home to MUH-

dania without it. Since Humfrey had made it plain that

there was no time limit on the service he would owe for

the Answer, Grey would have to forfeit long before com-

pleting the service.

 

"The Good Magician always has a good reason for his

crazy Answers," Ivy said, trying to put a positive face on

it. "When the Gorgon came to ask whether he would

marry her, he made her serve as a castle maid for a year

before giving his Answer."

 

"But that's the very height of arrogance!" Grey said.

 

"So it seemed. But it gave her that time to work with

him, so that she could change her mind on the basis of

good information. When she didn't change her mind, he

 

Man from Mundania
       
309

 

married her. By that time she was familiar with every as-

pect of the castle and his practice, so had no problem. It

was really a very good way to do it, as everyone else

would have understood, had they been as smart as Hum-

frey."

 

"Well, I'm not smart enough to see how having to leave

Xanth before I get his Answer is going to do us any good!"

"Neither am I," she said. "But it must be so."

 

He let the subject drop, because he didn't want to argue

with her. But his depression was back in full force. To

think that there was a solution to his problem but that he

could not have it because of the insensitivity of the one

 

who had it—that was even worse than there being no so-

lution.

 

They returned to Xanth. They couldn't just walk there,

because they didn't know the way through this featureless

region, so Grey eased up on his doubt, and the cottage

returned. Then they retraced their route through the ad-

dress until they were back in the airport. Then Grey

resumed his doubting, and fell out of the dream.

 

He lifted his head from the gourd. "Cut the connec-

tion," he said. Willing hands turned the gourds, and Ivy

and Dolph woke. This time it was real.

 

Immediately they were besieged by demands for the

whole story, but only Dolph was interested in telling it.

"You should have seen the guts and gore in the Hurts!"

he exclaimed.

 

Next day they went to the Good Magician's castle. Dolph

became a roc and carried them there and dropped them

off, promising to return in time to take them to the border

of Xanth before Com-Pewter's grace period was up. In

fact, he promised to return every day, acting as courier for

anything they needed; that was certainly better than re-

maining grounded at Castle Roogna.

 

The two walking skeletons. Marrow Bones and Grace'1

Ossian, came along also, nominally to help clean up the

castle, but really as chaperones. The King and Queen did

not want to make a show of it, but they did not encourage

the appearance of unseemly behavior in their daughter.

 

 

 

 

310

 

Man from Mundania

 

Man from Mundania

 

311

 

Grey could hardly blame them. At any time Ivy could

change her mind and remain in Xanth, effectively breaking

off their betrothal (there was a different flavor to that word,

and he liked it better than "engagement") and returning

to the open market. Why should they risk having her prin-

cessly reputation tarnished in this short time?

 

Break the betrothal—he hated to admit it, but it did

seem to him that this was her most sensible course. She

was a creature of Xanth, and could no more be happy for

long outside it than, as she put it, a mermaid could live

on land far from water. There were magic devices that

could make her forget him, so that at least one of them

could be happy. When he returned to Mundania, he was

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