Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Princesses, #Magic, #Epic, #Fantasy fiction; American, #Xanth (Imaginary place)
"Blank," Grey said.
"Blank," Ivy agreed.
"Blankety blank," Dolph said.
Grey focused his doubt again. He doubted that either
cottage or castle was there, but he had no idea what might
306 Man from Mundania
really be there. He kept his doubt as pure as he could,
expecting nothing.
The cottage was fuzzed out. The castle tried to fuzz in.
Dolph forestalled it with more doubt, refusing to be tricked
by the present illusion.
An amorphous cloud developed, hovering uncertainly,
unable to become one form or the other. Grey continued
doubting, refusing to let it coalesce. He kept his expecta-
tions blank. Only reality would be allowed to manifest!
Gradually the cloud thinned, revealing—nothing.
"Oops," Ivy said.
Grey looked at her. "But there should be something!"
"We're out of the dream," she explained. "You nulled
it right down to nothing."
"Reality!" he exclaimed in disgust. And realized that
that was what he had expected.
Dolph stepped forward. "What's that?"
They looked. There was a box sitting on the ground.
They walked toward the box. The landscape seemed
completely barren; there were no trees or bushes, and no
sunshine or cloud. It seemed to be a wasteland, except for
the box.
There turned out to be three boxes, in a row, each dark
and oblong and large enough to hold a man.
"Oh, no!" Ivy breathed, horrified. "Coffins!"
Ttiere had been three in the Good Magician's family:
Humfrey, the Gorgon, and their son, Hugo.
"The dream address!" Dolph said, sharing her horror.
"It was the way to find them—but it didn't say they were
alive!''
Could the Good Magician have seen his death coming,
and acted to hide himself from Xanth so that no one would
know? But what was the point of that?
"To let others think he would one day return," Ivy said,
her thoughts pacing his. "So that Xanth wouldn't mourn
for him—or give its enemies courage."
"Enemies like Com-Pewter," Grey said, seeing it. "But
now we have undone his artifice, so that Xanth can no
longer be protected even by the threat of Humfrey's re-
turn."
Man from Mundania
307
"Com-Pewter must have known!" Ivy said. "That's
why he acted now!"
But Grey wasn't quite satisfied with that. "Why didn't
Com-Pewter simply tell us Humfrey was dead, then? So
that there was no chance to get an Answer?"
Ivy shrugged. "Maybe Pewter wasn't quite sure."
"And maybe it's not true!" Grey said. "Maybe we're
not out of this quest yet!''
"But if they are in coffins—"
"Electra was in a coffin, wasn't she?" Grey strode to
the nearest box. Now he saw an inscription on a plaque
set in it. But the words were indecipherable. "What does
this say?"
Ivy approached. She almost smiled. "Do Not Disturb,"
she read. "It's in Xanthian script. This must be Mun-
dania, so you can't read it."
"Or something like that," Grey agreed. "Electra was
in a similar state, I believe."
They checked the other coffins. Neither had a plaque.
"Maybe they don't mind being disturbed," Dolph offered.
"Probably so," Ivy said. "It was always the Good Ma-
gician who was grumpy about folk taking up his time."
"Then I'm going to open this one."
Ivy was shocked. "But you can't do that! It's not nice
to disturb the dead!"
"If he is dead," Grey said grimly. "I doubt it."
He put his hand to the lid of the coffin. There was no
fastening. He lifted, and it came up.
A wizened little man lay within, looking just as if he
were sleeping. "Hey, Magician Humfrey!" Grey said
boldly.
The eyelids flickered, then the eyes opened. The lips
parted. "Go away," they said.
"I am Grey Murphy, and I need an Answer," Grey
said.
"Go away. I am no longer giving Answers."
"Here is my Question: how can I void the service I owe
to Com-Pewter?"
"Go away," the mouth said, grimacing. "I'll give your
Answer when I'm done here."
Man from Mundania
308
"How long will that be?"
The mouth formed a fifth of a smile. "Is that another
Question?"
"No!"
"If you want an Answer, serve me until I return. Then
you may have it, if you still want it. Now go away—and
don't slam the lid." The eyes closed.
"There is an Answer!" Ivy breathed.
"But what good is it, if he returns after a year or more,
and I have to leave Xanth in a week?" Grey demanded.
The Good Magician's near eye squinched open again.
"No way. Mundane! You must serve until I return, with-
out interruption, or I will not be responsible for the con-
sequence."
"But I must serve Com-Pewter! That's my problem!"
"After you complete your service to me," the Good
Magician said firmly. "Otherwise you forfeit your An-
swer." The eye closed again.
"But how can I serve you, if you're asleep?" Grey
asked, hardly making sense of this.
"Go to my castle. You will find a way." The features
fell into composure; the Good Magician was back in his
dream.
Grey lowered the lid, depressed. Apparently there was
an Answer to his problem, but unless the Good Magician
returned to his castle before the week was out—which
seemed unlikely—Grey would have to go home to MUH-
dania without it. Since Humfrey had made it plain that
there was no time limit on the service he would owe for
the Answer, Grey would have to forfeit long before com-
pleting the service.
"The Good Magician always has a good reason for his
crazy Answers," Ivy said, trying to put a positive face on
it. "When the Gorgon came to ask whether he would
marry her, he made her serve as a castle maid for a year
before giving his Answer."
"But that's the very height of arrogance!" Grey said.
"So it seemed. But it gave her that time to work with
him, so that she could change her mind on the basis of
good information. When she didn't change her mind, he
Man from Mundania
309
married her. By that time she was familiar with every as-
pect of the castle and his practice, so had no problem. It
was really a very good way to do it, as everyone else
would have understood, had they been as smart as Hum-
frey."
"Well, I'm not smart enough to see how having to leave
Xanth before I get his Answer is going to do us any good!"
"Neither am I," she said. "But it must be so."
He let the subject drop, because he didn't want to argue
with her. But his depression was back in full force. To
think that there was a solution to his problem but that he
could not have it because of the insensitivity of the one
who had it—that was even worse than there being no so-
lution.
They returned to Xanth. They couldn't just walk there,
because they didn't know the way through this featureless
region, so Grey eased up on his doubt, and the cottage
returned. Then they retraced their route through the ad-
dress until they were back in the airport. Then Grey
resumed his doubting, and fell out of the dream.
He lifted his head from the gourd. "Cut the connec-
tion," he said. Willing hands turned the gourds, and Ivy
and Dolph woke. This time it was real.
Immediately they were besieged by demands for the
whole story, but only Dolph was interested in telling it.
"You should have seen the guts and gore in the Hurts!"
he exclaimed.
Next day they went to the Good Magician's castle. Dolph
became a roc and carried them there and dropped them
off, promising to return in time to take them to the border
of Xanth before Com-Pewter's grace period was up. In
fact, he promised to return every day, acting as courier for
anything they needed; that was certainly better than re-
maining grounded at Castle Roogna.
The two walking skeletons. Marrow Bones and Grace'1
Ossian, came along also, nominally to help clean up the
castle, but really as chaperones. The King and Queen did
not want to make a show of it, but they did not encourage
the appearance of unseemly behavior in their daughter.
310
Man from Mundania
Man from Mundania
311
Grey could hardly blame them. At any time Ivy could
change her mind and remain in Xanth, effectively breaking
off their betrothal (there was a different flavor to that word,
and he liked it better than "engagement") and returning
to the open market. Why should they risk having her prin-
cessly reputation tarnished in this short time?
Break the betrothal—he hated to admit it, but it did
seem to him that this was her most sensible course. She
was a creature of Xanth, and could no more be happy for
long outside it than, as she put it, a mermaid could live
on land far from water. There were magic devices that
could make her forget him, so that at least one of them
could be happy. When he returned to Mundania, he was