Man From Mundania (68 page)

"Oh thank you, kind sir and lovely maiden!" Goody

said. "And what is your fee for this wonderful Answer?"

"No fee," Grey said quickly. "We're just here for a

few days. Good luck."

The goblin stood up to his full lowly height. "No, I am

afraid I must insist. You are doing me a service, and I

must do you one in recompense. That is only fair."

Fairness—in a goblin? Now Grey had seen everything!

"Well, er, if you feel that way, maybe you should, uh,

stay here a while, and when something comes up, er—"

"Excellent. I am sure there will be something."

Grace'1 appeared. "Show our guest to a suitable cham-

ber," Ivy said.

Heartened, Goody Goblin departed with the skeleton.

Grey was sure he would make good among the goblins,

after undertaking the corrective course.

They returned to their tomes—only to be interrupted

again. This time it was a flying fan: an instrument made

of bamboo that propelled itself by waving back and forth

so as to generate a jet of air. Ivy was able to communicate

with it by sign language, though some of this resembled a

fan dance. The fan turned out to be lost, and was looking

for fandom.

Now Grey had just a bit of Mundane experience that

related. "Form a fan club!" he exclaimed. "Then you

will be in the middle of fandom."

Satisfied, the fan flew off to find a suitable length of

wood to make a club.

They were about to return to the tomes, when yet an-

other supplicant arrived. "This is getting out of hand!"

Grey muttered. "We'll never get anything done if this

continues!"

"Maybe we should haul up the drawbridge again," Ivy

said. "I realize that seems unfriendly, but with all these

folk coming in, we'll have no rest or privacy at all if we

don't limit access."

"I'm beginning to understand why the Good Magician

was reputed to be reclusive and taciturn," Grey said, "if

this is what his life was like before he set limits."

"You see to the one that's inside, and I'll see to getting

the defenses set up," Ivy said with a smile. "Just don't

do too much for her." She departed.

When Grey saw the visitor, he understood Ivy's caution.

She was a lovely young human girl. "Oh Magician, please,

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Man from Mundania

Man from Mundania

317

I beg of you, I'm desperate, I'll do anything!" she ex-

claimed.

"Please, I'm only, uh, filling in, and I may not be able

to help you," he said. "What—"

"I'm in love!" she exclaimed grandly. "But he doesn't

know I exist! Please—"

Grey ascertained that it was a young man of her village

she was interested in, who saw her only as a friend. She

did not want to make a scene, she only wanted him to

return her love. She was sure things would be fine, then.

It seemed to Grey that she was correct; she was a good

and lovely girl who would be good for a handsome lout

like that. Just as Ivy was good for Grey himself.

"Grace'1," he said, and the skeleton appeared. "Is there

a vial of love potion in the collection you have been sort-

ing?"

"Several," Grace'1 agreed.

"Bring one here." The skeletons were not always quick

on the uptake, perhaps because their skulls were hollow.

She brought one. Grey presented it to the maiden. "Slip

this in his drink. Make sure you are the first person he

sees after he drinks. You understand? A mistake could be

very awkward."

"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed. "Oh, thank you, Magi-

cian!" She flung her arms around him and planted a kiss

on his nose. "But what about my service?"

"No service, this time," he said. But he realized that

this aspect, also, of the good Magician's practice made

sense. Folk were too eager to get something for nothing,

and were already flocking to the castle. If it was this bad

on the first day, how much worse would it be on the fol-

lowing days? "But in the future, probably some service

will be required." So that when she spread the word, it

would discourage the freeloaders.

"Oh? When?" She evidently thought he meant that she

would have to return to do the service.

He realized that it would hardly be expedient to call her

back; she would have to do it before she left. "Uh, within

the next few days. Grace'1 will show you to a chamber for

the night."

"That's fine," she agreed, and departed with the skel-

eton.

They finished the day, their tome sorting incomplete,

and retired to their separate chambers after an excellent

evening meal Grace'1 prepared. Grey lay awake for some

time, thinking about things. Now he appreciated why Good

Magician Humfrey might not be eager to return here in

any hurry. What were his prospects? An endless line of

supplicants, each requiring attention and research, while

his own work of whatever nature went undone. Grey and

Ivy had been here only a day, and already the word had

spread; the Good Magician had been here a century or so.

Yet he had to admit that he rather liked helping people

and creatures. He was learning things, too. He had thought

that all goblins were like those of the Golden Horde; now

he knew better. He had thought that monsters were for

fighting or fleeing, but the giant slug had only wanted

advice. Each case had to be judged on its merits, and none

were truly unworthy. It seemed a shame to shut them all

out, when they really did need help. /

But of course he could not help them. In a few days he

would be gone, even assuming he had competence for this.

He was a Magician, but his talent hardly applied to this

sort of thing. Well, if some creatures suffered from a dev-

astating hex or geis, as they called it, that was of magical

origin, he could probably nullify it. If there was illusion,

he could nullify that too, cutting through to the truth. Other

cases could be handled by ordinary common sense or a

little imagination. Others were amenable to the artifacts

of the castle, like the love potion. So there actually was a

lot that he and Ivy could do. Certainly it was the kind of

thing he'd rather be doing than leaving Xanth!

But he did have to leave Xanth, because soon Com-

Pewter's grace period would be over, and he would have

to serve the evil machine if he were not gone from Xanth.

Com-Pewter hardly cared about the welfare of individual

folk! The machine would set about taking over Xanth, and

Grey was aware that though his magic talent might not

readily be turned to doing good, it could certainly be

318 Man from Mundania

turned to doing evil by nulling the magic of anyone who

opposed Com-Pewter. He could not allow that to happen.

How he wished it were otherwise! That his father's curse

had been effective. Almost, it seemed, it had been; it had

enabled them to locate Magician Humfrey and talk with

him. But the Magician had refused to help in time. Sup-

pose Grey stayed in Xanth and the machine used him to

destroy much of what was good and decent in it, and then,

years later. Magician Humfrey returned? What kind of

Xanth would greet him? No, Grey had to leave Xanth;

there was no other way.

Unhappily, he slept.

In the morning there was a new person approaching the

castle. It was a female figure, naked and wild-haired. A

nymph? Then Grey recognized her. "Mae Maenad!" he

exclaimed.

"What could she want?" Ivy demanded. "We left her

well set up as the oracle on Parnassus!''

"Something must have gone wrong," Grey said. "I

have a feeling that plain common sense won't fix it."

Ivy glanced at him obliquely. "She was the first to call

you Magician, and you did kiss her. Do you suppose—?"

Grey laughed. "What attractive young woman would

have any interest in a nothing like me?"

Ivy's look transformed slowly from oblique glance to

direct stare. Grey realized that he was in trouble.

"Uh—" he said, with his usual social finesse.

"I'll settle with you later," she muttered significantly.

"Right now we'd better find out a way to slow her down

until we can figure out exactly what she wants before she

meets you."

A bright notion forged its way into Grey's mind. "The

Good Magician had challenges, didn't he? That didn't ac-

tually stop the people who came, but—"

"But slowed them down!" she agreed. "Until he could

do some research in his Book of Answers, and—" She

broke off.

"And we don't, uh, have that book," he finished.

"We, uh, certainly don't," she said, mimicking him

Man from Mundania
       
319

with a brief smile. "We also don't have suitable chal-

lenges. The layout of this castle was different each time

someone approached it; he must have had a lot of work

done between visits."

"But it's solid stone! You can't just move that around!

The whole thing would tumble down!"

Ivy pondered. "He must have had an easier way. He

had the centaurs rebuild this castle, long ago. Now it oc-

curs to me to wonder: why rebuild it, when it was already

standing and only needed refurbishing? Those centaurs re-

ally worked; I saw them on the Tapestry. They seemed to

have about ten different designs, and they worked on them

all, but somehow it became only one castle."

"Like the dream castle and cottage, maybe," he said.