He so did not want to be having this conversation right now, or anytime. That was why he had tried his level best to avoid Justin and Taylor. He had things in his past he would rather forget, and yet he lived with them every day of his life. He couldn’t escape them, and he couldn’t endanger his mates by claiming them. At times Chase felt as if he was going to lose his damn mind.
“Is it me?” Justin asked. “Is it because I’m sick?”
“No, of course not.”
Justin fell back a step, his face paling until it was almost ashen white. “It is me. I thought…I thought that just maybe—” Justin’s face scrunched and for a moment, Chase thought the man might start crying.
Please don’t let him cry.
But then Justin seemed to pull himself together. “Okay, I guess I can understand that.”
“Justin, that’s not—” Chase frowned when Justin started backing away from him. “Justin, what are you doing?”
“Taylor is a good guy, he really is, and he would make you a good mate. You just need to give him a chance.” This time, when Justin’s face scrunched up, a tear did slide down his cheek. Chase wanted desperately to pull the fallen angel into his arms and wipe away that lone tear. “You’d be good for each other.”
Concerned, and confused, Chase reached for Justin, but the man quickly stepped out of his reach. “Justin, wha—”
“Good-bye, Chase.”
Chase’s jaw dropped as Justin turned and walked away. He continued to watch the little man until he turned a corner and disappeared from view. That was the oddest conversation he had ever had. He had the distinct feeling that Justin was really saying good-bye—for good.
Chase shook his head as he jumped into his truck and pulled out of the driveway. He didn’t know exactly what was going on with Justin, but he knew he needed to find out before the man got himself into trouble.
Chase drove down the street he had seen Justin turn down, scanning the sidewalks and alleyways for a distinctive redhead. After driving up and down the streets for over an hour, Chase admitted defeat. He hadn’t seen Justin anywhere.
Maybe he had gone home.
Chase changed directions and drove toward the small apartment Justin shared with Taylor. He didn’t want to have to talk to Taylor if he could help it, but he needed to. Taylor could be pretty fierce where Justin was concerned.
Chase also didn’t want yet another temptation staring him in his face. He was only so strong when it came to his mates, and staring at Taylor’s pretty pale-blue eyes would chip large holes in his defense walls.
It took less than ten minutes to reach the apartment. He pulled up in front of the building and turned off his engine, looking over toward the bottom apartment that he knew belonged to the couple. He’d been there often enough to know every inch of the outside of the place.
He knew the small apartment had an upstairs where the two slept together, and he knew the downstairs was where the patio doors were located. He had paced by the patio doors often enough to know exactly where every piece of furniture was set in the living room.
Heaving a deep sigh, Chase climbed from his truck and started up the walkway. He shored up his defenses and knocked on the door when he reached it, waiting, hoping Taylor was home. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do if he wasn’t. Justin’s bizarre behavior concerned him, and Chase had to make sure his redheaded mate was okay.
The door opened, and Taylor stood there. Chase found himself suddenly tongue-tied and nervous as all hell. He had no idea what to say to the man. Taylor was so damn stunning that all Chase could do was stare.
“Chase,” Taylor whispered.
“Uh, hey.” Chase frowned at the eager look on Taylor’s face. “Is Justin here?”
“No, he’s out running errands. Why? Is there a problem?”
Chase ran his hand over the back of his neck, wondering if he hadn’t overreacted. “No. At least, I don’t think there is. Justin stopped by my place earlier, and he was acting really strange.”
Taylor laughed like Justin’s behavior was no big deal. Chase found himself enthralled by the musical sound. It took every ounce of restraint he possessed to keep his hands at his sides. “Justin always acts strange.”
Chase had no idea if that was true or not. He barely knew the man. Hell, he barely knew either of them. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to know every damn last thing about them, but that meant getting closer to them, and he wasn’t ready for that. His life wouldn’t permit it even if Chase were. He had to remind himself why he was keeping his distance as Taylor smiled at him.
“Do you know when he’s going to be back?”
Taylor shrugged. “In a couple of hours, I guess. Is there something I can help you with?”
Wow, that was a loaded question. He could think of a million different things that Taylor could help him with. Just not right now. Chase shook his head instead of giving the answer he really wanted to give.
Images of Taylor on his knees floated through Chase’s mind. He also could image just what Taylor would look like—and sound like—bent over the kitchen table while he fucked Taylor’s tight little ass.
Gods, he needed to pull himself together.
“No, that’s okay. I just wanted to check and make sure Justin was okay. Like I said, he was acting a little strange.”
Taylor stood back and waved his hand inside the apartment. “You’re welcome to come inside and wait for him. He shouldn’t be too much longer.”
“Thanks, but I need to get to work. I’m late already.”
Taylor smiled as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the doorframe. “How’s that new job working out for you?”
Chase’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You know about my new job?”
Taylor chuckled. “Justin and I made it our business to learn everything we could about you.”
That was news to Chase. And a part of him liked the idea that his mates were checking up on him. “Why would you do that?”
“Chase, you’re our mate.”
“No, I’m not.” The response was automatic and out of Chase’s mouth before he could stop it. He wished he had kept his mouth shut when Taylor’s face paled, and he glanced away, swallowing hard.
“No,” Taylor said once he looked back at Chase, “I’m coming to realize that, and I think Justin is, too. Maybe that’s why he came by to see you today, to find out why you won’t accept us.”
Chase did not want to have this conversation now, or ever. He had just wanted to check on Justin. Mission accomplished. He needed to get the hell out of there. “I tried to explain it to Justin this afternoon, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“Then explain it to me.”
What was it with these two? “Look, I need to get going. Like I said, I’m late. Call me when Justin gets home, and let me know if he’s okay.”
“Why do you care?” Taylor snapped, glints of anger filling his eyes. “You don’t want us.”
“Taylor, it’s not that I don’t want you, because believe me, I do, but—”
“Wait.” Taylor held up his hand. “Let me guess, it’s not us, it’s you.”
“Well…” Chase blinked in surprise. “Yeah.”
Taylor rolled his eyes and grabbed the door. “Tell it someone that believes you, Chase, because I don’t.”
Chase’s jaw dropped when Taylor stepped back into the apartment and slammed the door closed. Chase wasn’t sure if it was a good thing that Taylor’s flared temper turned him on. He raised his hand to knock and demand that Taylor listen to him until he realized he really didn’t have an explanation for his denial of his mates that they would accept. They really knew nothing about him, and Chase preferred to keep it that way.
It was safer for Justin and Taylor.
So why did the rejection hurt like hell?
Chase dropped his hand and turned away from the door, heading back to his truck. If he didn’t get to work pretty soon, he’d be out of a job, and he really liked his new job as a deputy in Wolf Creek. It gave him purpose and direction when he felt like he hadn’t had either in a very long time. He didn’t want to lose it because he was late.
Joe Nash was giving him the evil eye when he walked into the sheriff’s station twenty minutes later. Chase shrugged and nodded his head toward Joe’s office. What he had to say couldn’t be said in public hearing. Joe nodded and finished his conversation with one of the other deputies before heading to his office.
Chase was right on his heels. He shut the door the moment he walked in and leaned his head back against it for a moment. He just needed to catch his breath for a second. Silence was golden sometimes.
“Problems?”
And silence was fleeting.
Chase sighed and went to sit down in the chair in front of Joe’s desk. Why did it seem lately that his past was coming back to bite him in the ass? All of a sudden it was creating walls all around him that he couldn’t seem to get around. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“Justin and Taylor?”
Chase’s head snapped up. “How did you know?”
A small smile tugged at Joe’s lips as he gave Chase a knowing look. “Because I haven’t seen you this flustered since the night you met them.”
Chase leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hand down his face. “I don’t know what to do about those two.”
“Claim them.”
If only it was that easy. “I can’t, Joe.”
“Then don’t.”
Chase rolled his eyes. “You’re no help.”
“What do you want me to say, Chase? Justin and Taylor are your mates. Either claim them or don’t, but don’t let whatever decision you make drag you down like this. This is the third time in a month that you’ve been late to work. It doesn’t look good.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Chase clasped his hands together and let them dangle them between his legs as he leaned forward. “I really wasn’t planning on being late this morning, but Justin was waiting for me when I went out to my truck to leave for work.”
“What happened?”
“I’m still trying to figure that out. Justin was acting all weird-like.” Chase grimaced as he thought about how weird Justin had been acting. “He seemed really upset, and then he just walked away. I tried to find him to find out what was wrong, but he just disappeared. I decided to run by his place and talk to Taylor, see if he had come home.”
“And what did Taylor say?”
“Not much,” Chase snorted. “He told me that Justin was out running errands, and then he chewed me out.” Chase shrugged. “I guess I kind of had it coming.”
Joe shook his head, looking exasperated about the whole situation. “I don’t understand why you haven’t claimed them yet, Chase. You know they are your mates. They know it, too. I can tell you from personal experience that you would all be a lot happier if you just claimed them.”
“Until they die.”
Joe didn’t say anything for a long silent moment. He just stared at Chase. “Excuse me?”
“Did you ever wonder how I was able to call so many people in to rescue Nate and his friends on the spur of the moment, people with experience in that kind of operation?”
Joe gave a slight nod. “It came to mind once or twice. I figured if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me.”
“Well, for the record, I don’t. My past is just that, my past, and that’s where it needs to stay. But the moment certain people get wind that I’ve got mates, my past will come back to haunt all of us, not just me. Justin and Taylor wouldn’t be safe.”
Joe’s chair creaked as the man sat forward and rested his arms on his desk. He looked curious but cautious at the same time. “I assume this is a past that you can’t talk about—”
“Under pain of death.”
Joe’s eyebrows shot up. “Mine or yours?”
“Both.”
“Oh.” Joe’s eyes widened. “One of those kind of pasts.”
Chase just nodded.
Joe steepled his hands together and tapped his fingers against his lips for a moment, and then he dropped them back down on the desk. “I guess that kind of changes things, then.”
“It does.” Chase looked down at his hands, studying his fingernails like they were the most important things in the world. “I’d claim them if I could, but I can’t. It’s too dangerous for them.”
“Do you
want
to claim them?”
Chase groaned as he leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. “Oh man, you have no idea how much I want to claim them. I can’t keep my wolf away from them. Every damn time I shift, my wolf heads right to wherever they are.”
“You know you’d be protected here in Wolf Creek. You’d have the entire pack behind you and your mates.”
“No…pack or no pack wouldn’t matter. Justin and Taylor would still be in danger.”
“So, what?” Joe asked. “You’re just going to deny your mates for the rest of your life?”
Chase had wondered the same damn thing. “I don’t know, Joe.”
“Is that fair to them? To you?”
“I don’t have any other choice at this moment. Believe me, I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out how to have them and keep them alive at the same time, but I’m not coming up with anything. Every scenario I come up with ends up with them dead.”
“What about your brothers? Can they help?”