Authors: Jennifer Labelle
“
The park sounds nice. Maybe we could stop and get some ice cream.”
Jayden loved his ice cream, but the smile on his face was what she’d hoped for. Smiling back, she reached for his hand. “It’s okay to be sad, Jayden, but it’s also okay to feel angry or happy. It’s okay to laugh or cry. I love you, honey, and I just want you to know that showing your emotions is okay if you need to, especially today.”
“Can we bring Daddy with us?”
She nodded and went to get the urn. “Are you ready?” She didn’t care how stupid it may have looked to others. Anything to make things easier on Jayden was the number one priority. So they spent the day as a family. That day Jayden got whatever he wanted and then some.
* * * *
Jenna was finally able to have her meltdown after Jayden fell asleep. She’d gone upstairs to change into one of Tyler’s shirts, but that night it just didn’t feel the same.
She could smell him before, could almost feel his arms wrapped around her anytime she’d put one on, like he was still with her. Then there was nothing.
He was gone, and she needed him back. She needed that feeling of security, but he’d left her, in body and now in spirit.
Running to the closet, she pulled everything that belonged to him, but still nothing. “No, Tyler, don’t leave me,” she cried, sitting in the middle of the heap.
That’s how Sam found her when she stopped by to check on things and heard her sobbing.
“He’s gone.” Jenna cried.
Sam rushed to her, wrapping her arms around her tight. “He’s been gone for a while, Jenna.”
“No.” Shaking her head, Jenna had to explain. “I could still feel him though. He was still with me. I could smell him, I could feel his arms around me, and now I don’t feel anything, Sam. Please, he can’t leave me. Please, Sam, please, just make him come back to me.”
“I’m so sorry, Jenna. I wish I could.”
Chapter Three
A flashlight shone on her face as a strange voice called out to her, “Jenna, Jenna can you hear me?” Her vision was blurry. She could feel herself blink to try and focus and hear herself as she wondered what was happening. Her body was warm and felt really heavy as she lay there, unable to move.
It became dark again, and the voices reappeared. “We have a woman here age twenty-seven. She looks awake but is not responding. We’ll have to be very careful pulling her out. There is a lot of blood, and I can’t tell the extent of her injuries from here.” The bright light shone in her face again. “It’s gonna be okay, Jenna. We’re gonna get you out of here, and I need you to remain as still as possible. Blink if you can hear me.”
Hearing sirens, her breath was heavy, and she could barely open her eyes. “I’m slipping. Maybe if I just sleep a little.” She was in an ambulance strapped down to a very uncomfortable gurney, but she couldn’t fight anymore. Her eyes opened and closed before everything went black as night.
“Jenna, try to stay with us, honey. We’re almost there.” A soft pressure touched the side of her face. It was cool against her compared to the fire burning the rest of her. There was a man close to the same age hovering over where she lay. She tried to laugh, wanting to express that it was easier said than done, but instead her mouth just twitched, and she became frustrated.
“
That a girl,” he teased. “This one’s a fighter.”
The doors flew open with an entourage of medical personnel waiting to wheel her away.
They were given the run down as they ran while the paramedic still held her hand. She looked above her to the lights on the ceiling rushing by when she finally heard a familiar voice, making her panic again. “Jenna, Jenna, I’m here.” He tried to push his way through. Her eyes moved in his direction, feeling the wetness of her tears.
“
Tyler?” She could see his face clearly above her. What the hell?
“
Jenna, wake up. Please, Jenna, just wake up. Come back to me.”
Her body felt stiff and full of pain. She could barely move. Her finger twitched, and she could feel someone clutch her hand.
“
Jenna, come back.” She opened her eyes quickly only to close them again. “Jenna.” It was her mother’s voice sounding so relieved, so she tried again.
“
Too bright,” she managed to whisper, hearing a chair beside her squeak and then the lights dimmed.
“
The hospital, déjà vu,” she whispered, trying to find her voice. It felt like she was reliving the beginning when she’d woke up to find out that Tyler had died.
“Tyler?”
The images came flooding back to her. She gasped, trying to sit up.
“
What, what’s wrong?” Her mother reached out to her. “Do I need to get someone?”
“It’s Tyler, mom, I saw him, but it can’t be. And, what am I doing here again?”
“
Again?” Her mother seemed confused. “Why can’t what be, Jenna? What are you talking about?”
“
The hospital, mom, why am I here?”
“
There was an accident. Oh, Jenna, you had me so worried. For awhile there, it was touch and go, and we weren’t sure if you were going to make it.”
“
And Tyler didn’t make it, right?”
She’d already lived through this chapter in her life, and it just slipped out. “And Jayden, where is he? Can I see him?” The more Jenna spoke, the more confused her mother looked.
“
You need to relax, honey.”
Jenna’s hospital machinery was going crazy.
“
Jayden is fine. He’s with Dad.” Her mother smiled, wiping her face dry. “We’ll bring him by shortly to see you, all right?”
“Mrs. Baker, it’s nice to see you awake.” The nurse smiled as she entered the room. She checked her chart, jotting something down before checking the machines. “Hmm,” she hummed looking at Jenna with disapproval. “Mrs. Baker, I understand that in these circumstances emotions can run high, but you have to keep yourself calm.” She looked at Jenna’s mother. “And I’ll expect your family to abide by making things as stress free as possible for you in the meantime.” They nodded in unison. “Okay then, I’ll just let the others know you’re awake.”
The door opened, distracting them with her dad entering.
“
Jenna,” he cried in relief.
It had to have been the first time she could remember ever seeing her father shed tears for anything.
“Hi, Dad,” she gasped, then cried out in discomfort as he hugged her.
“
Sorry.” He winced, pulling away. “It’s just so good to see you awake. You’re going to be okay.” He turned to his wife. “Our little girl’s okay,” he whispered as if he was finally able to breathe again.
“Aw, Daddy, don’t cry,” Jenna pleaded. “You’re making me cry and everything hurts including that.”
She laughed and then groaned loudly in pain just as the door opened again. She smiled then, not caring how much it hurt. “Jayden,” she squealed with excitement. She missed him so much, and it felt like forever since she last saw him or had him in her arms. Her joy turned into a stunned silence once she saw who was with him. Jayden rushed to her side, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of Tyler.
“Tyler?” She looked at her mother with wide eyes and then back to Tyler feeling like she was seeing a ghost.
Well, she was; how was this possible? “I don’t understand.”
Tyler smiled at her, looking just as relieved as her father had. He moved closer, closing the distance between them and kissed her on top of the head. “Oh, God, Jenna, I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered.
Jenna screeched in a panic. “Oh, my God. I’m dead, right? I mean we all are. We got into the accident together.”
The machines in the room made loud alarming sounds. Jenna shook so uncontrollably, her father rushed out to get help. Jenna was hysterical, Tyler was stunned, and poor Jayden was terrified.
“
Tyler?” She couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Jenna, please,” he begged. “I just got you back.”
She closed her eyes and could feel his lips on her forehead. “But you were dead,” she whispered.
“
Jenna, please,” he begged.
She nodded trying to calm down, but she just couldn’t. “Just tell me one thing,” she pleaded. “We’re dead right? We all died that day?”
Her eyes became heavy before she could get her answer, and she couldn’t fight it. She heard Tyler yell, “No, please, just give her a minute.” But it was too late, and the darkness took her.
* * * *
She gasped, jerking upright in her hospital bed, whimpering in the agony her sudden awakening set off in her entire body. It was night, but she could see Tyler sleeping in a chair beside her bed.
Nothing seemed like reality, and she couldn’t sleep anymore. She lay there watching Tyler sleep instead, looking so peaceful. She stretched her hand out as far as it would go. She had to touch him to make sure she wasn’t dreaming again. He felt so real. Could he actually be alive? She wanted him to be.
She sighed, trying hard not to cry. She couldn’t stop touching him. He was actually there with her, her husband, physically beside her and not just ashes in a container. He was warm and soft with drool coming out the side of his mouth as he slept. She was in awe.
“You’re awake.” A new face whispered as the woman entered. “And relatively calmer. That’s good.”
Jenna startled, snapping out of her thoughts. “I’m quite sore though.” She tried giving a friendly smile but grimaced instead.
Her nurse laughed. “I can give you a little something for the pain. It should make you feel better for awhile.” She came back with a syringe.
“
Please, I don’t want to be knocked out again,” Jenna told her. She’d just woken up and hoped to be alert for awhile.
“It’s okay, Mrs. Baker. It’s not quite as strong as that, just something for your discomfort, that’s all,” she assured her and administered something inside one of Jenna’s many connecting tubes.
“Thank you,” she whispered in relief.
“
Well, my name is Eleanor, and I’ll be with you for awhile. If you need anything just press that button beside you.”
She nodded as Eleanor left and focused on Tyler again. The next time she smiled, it didn’t hurt as much.
* * * *
“I don’t understand why she was so worked up and why is she convinced that she’s dead?”
“I’m not sure…I think it may be because she seems convinced that you’re dead.”
“
What?” It went silent for a second. “Who convinced her of that? That’s ridiculous…I mean I was never—although I probably should be after saving myself and not her.”
“
Oh, Tyler.”
Jenna heard the harsh whispers close by; it felt like a dream. Damn, she must have dosed off again. She opened her eyes to see Tyler and her mother across the room, and she didn’t like where their conversation was heading. “Mom?”
They both jumped and exchanged worried looks. “Hi, honey, have you been awake long?” Her mother approached. “We didn’t want to disturb you.”
She shook her head no, not wanting to give away her eavesdropping. “You guys could never disturb me.”
Tyler still stood on the other side of the room, looking uncomfortable and not sure if he should approach, but who could blame the guy. His wife seemed to be convinced he was a ghost, and the last thing he would want would be to upset her.