Miles From Home (15 page)

One Saturday morning, I’m taken by surprise when I go downstairs to see Josh sitting at the kitchen table, talking and laughing with Aunt Virginia. I can tell by the look on their faces that something is up.

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” When the two of them smile at each other I know they’re keeping a secret.

Josh walks over and stands in front of me. “Go pack, I’m taking you on a vacation,” he says.

I’m stunned and confused. “What? I can’t go on a vacation. I have work and Ellie.”

He shakes his head. “I know what your schedule is. You are off for the next five days.” I look over at my aunt and she winks at me.

“Well, that doesn’t mean I’m prepared to take a trip,” I reply, pouring a glass of orange juice.

I sit next to Ellie and help her with her pancakes. “I can’t leave Ellie,” I say, looking between the two of them.

Josh pulls out three airline tickets and holds them out for me. “Ellie’s going with us; she needs to experience Disney World. We’re going to Orlando and all the plans have been made, so go pack.”

Josh grabs my hand and pulls me towards the stairs. “Now, go pack. We leave in four hours,” he says.

I hurry upstairs to pack and Aunt Virginia follows me.

“Sweetie, I have Ellie’s things already packed. I used your pink bag, and everything she needs is in there,” she says.

She hugs me and hands me the bag and when I lean back to look at her, she winks and says, “Have a little fun, Maggie.”

The three of us board the plane and Ellie quickly falls asleep in the seat between us. I look over and watch Josh as he tucks Ellie’s favorite baby doll under her arm and right then I know my feelings for him have grown even deeper. Early on in our relationship I told Josh about Sam when he questioned why Ellie’s father was not present in her life. He was very understanding and we never discussed it again. I love how Josh is so attentive to Ellie and she has him wrapped around her finger.

The hotel is beautiful and Josh booked a suite with two separate bedrooms. I have mixed feelings as to whether I’m ready to share a bed with Josh. It’s been over three years since I’ve been with a man sexually, since Sam. I am still unsure if I should bring it up or just let things happen, so I decide to follow Josh’s lead.

“How about we go downstairs to the restaurant and grab some dinner?” Josh suggests.

“That sounds wonderful. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day and I think Ellie will fall asleep with no protest,” I say, taking Ellie’s hand and following Josh to the elevator.

That evening we sit in the hotel restaurant and plan for the following day, which park to visit first and how long we would stay. Ellie was tired and ready for bed by the time we finished dinner and I was very anxious about how the sleeping arrangements would go.

After Ellie had her bath, she could barely keep her eyes open. I tuck her in and kiss her on the cheek. “Goodnight, sweet pea,” I say.

“Night, Mommy,” she replies, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

I linger a little bit longer as I watch Ellie sleep. I can feel the nervousness when I take a deep breath and walk into the living area sitting next to Josh.

“Josh, what were your plans for sleeping arrangements?” I ask, curiously.

He turns towards me and tilts his head. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, Maggie.” He reaches over and takes my hand. “I would like for you to sleep in my bed. But if that’s not what you had in mind, I’ll understand.” He kisses me on top of my head.

As I stand looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, I’m at least thankful I packed my sexy PJ’s, I guess you could say deep down I was hopeful that Josh and I would take the next step in our relationship, and now that it’s happening I can’t seem to stop thinking about Sam. Why he’s decided to invade my thoughts now, I have no idea. So I take a deep breath and open the door. Josh is sitting on the edge of the bed, facing me.

“Come here, Maggie,” he says, holding his hand out. “You look amazing.”

“I’m a little nervous, Josh. It’s been a while.” I take his hand.

“Why are you nervous, Maggie? Whatever happens tonight will only happen if you want it to,” he says, easing me back on the bed.

I can feel my entire body tense as Josh brushes his hand over my cheek and down my arm. I concentrate on pushing any thoughts of Sam out of my mind as I focus on Josh and how he makes me feel. Slowly I begin to relax as Josh makes love to me, making every nerve in my body tingle. I feel a hint of guilt as I let go and give in to my desires. As I lie awake listening to Josh’s slow steady breathing, I make a commitment to myself; no more thoughts of Sam, no more holding onto those memories, and no more hoping that one day he will be a part of our lives. Then I slowly drift off to sleep.

Our four days at Disney World fly by. We have been to every park and we’ve met every princess. Josh and Ellie are inseparable and I couldn’t be happier. By the time we board our flight for home, we are all exhausted. This trip was perfect, everything about it was perfect. For once, in three years, I feel content.

MY FIRST SHIFT back to work after our trip proves to be an exhausting one. I hated leaving Florida’s sunny weather for Savannah’s cold rain and I’m not sure if Savannah has seen this much rain since I’ve been here. The ER is standing room only and with just four nurses and two doctors, we can’t quite seem to catch up. I finally take my first break at 4 a.m. and just as I sit down to have something to eat, my work phone rings. “Maggie, we need you up front now. They’re bringing in multiple victims of a bus rollover.

“I’m on my way,” I reply, jumping up and running towards the main ER entrance.

My heart races when the paramedics begin to bring in patient after patient as we work on triaging their injuries, with the most severe being assessed first. I hear Kolby yelling my name.

“Maggie, I need your help.” I enter the small ER room and on the bed is a white male in his twenties with multiple cuts to his face, arms, and legs. He moans and screams as the four of us try to place him in restraints, while Kolby hooks him up to take his blood pressure. When I begin cutting his clothes off he grabs my scrub jacket and tries to sit up.

“Sir, you need to lie down. I need to take a look at your injuries.” I say, gently pressing on his chest.

“Oh God, it hurts, please just make it stop!” he screams. Kolby gives him something to help him relax. As the meds start to take effect he slowly opens his eyes. I’m frozen; I can’t move because I know those eyes . . . I see them every day. There’s only one other person besides Ellie with those eyes. Sam . . . My God, it’s Sam.

I open my eyes but I can’t seem to focus them. I can hear people around me talking, but I just can’t process what they’re saying. The last thing I remember was laughing at a joke someone was telling. I don’t remember hearing a crash and I don’t remember hearing sirens, but something bad must have happened because I can’t move and I’m in extreme pain.

“Please help make this pain go away,” I say, grabbing for something, anything. Suddenly I feel as though I’m floating, drifting off, and I have no control, but I can still hear what’s going on around me.

I know they must have given me some strong drugs because I think I’m hallucinating when I hear a voice. I know that voice. I’ve been in love with that voice for the last three years. It’s
her
voice.

“Maggie, what’s wrong?” I hear someone say. I try again to open my eyes, needing to open my eyes. I need to know if this is all a dream, and I then finally let go. I give up and just drift in and out of consciousness as I dream of Maggie’s voice.

“Sam? Sam, can you open your eyes?” I hear this over and over and when I open them, I see a man standing over me, so I blink several times until his face comes into focus.

“Good job, Sam,” he says. “Sam, do you know what happened? Do you remember the accident?”

I can barely speak, my throat sore and scratchy. “Where am I?” I ask.

“Sam, you were in an accident two days ago,” he replies. I squint my eyes tightly closed and open them, and this time my focus is much better. I look around the room, seeing machines and an IV. I’m in a hospital.

“I need to sit up,” I say, trying to grab the rail of the bed, but my arms are confined and I’m unable to move them.

“Sam, I’m Dr. Eppard. We can’t let you sit up right now. You’ve suffered a severe fractured vertebrae, and several fractured ribs. You also have a punctured lung. You also have a chest tube in that will help remove the air from your chest cavity, which we will remove in a day or two. We have you on pain medication to help control the pain, but it’s important that you refrain from moving around too much.” As he explains, I drift in and out.

I suddenly feel this excruciating pain in my back, so I open my eyes and look around. I can see someone sitting in the chair across the room. I blink my eyes several times but I can’t seem to focus.

“My back, I can’t stand the pain,” I say, squinting my eyes, trying to look at the blurry figure walking towards me. I can hear her voice. “I’ll get your nurse, try not to move too much,” she says. My mind is playing tricks on me, and it has to be all the drugs they have me on, because I know that sweet voice can only belong to one person . . . Maggie.

I walk through the ICU doors and into room three where Sam is sleeping. He isn’t aware that I’ve been visiting him for the past four days. Every evening before my shift I sit quietly in his room and watch him. I watch his body tense from the pain when he tries to move and I’m still in total shock that it’s really him, it’s really Sam. I push the call button for his nurse and before she comes into the room, I try to slip out but she notices me.

“He’s doing so much better,” she says, as I walk past her. “They may move him to a regular room in a couple of days. Are you family?” I stop and turn, hoping she doesn’t see my badge. If she says my name he will know it’s me.

“No, I was working in the ER the night they brought him in and was just checking on him.”

“I thought I recognized you. He was in pretty bad shape when we got him, but he’s really showed a lot of improvement over the last forty-eight hours.”

“That’s great. Has there been any family here?” I ask, thinking about what Sam told me about his family.

“Yes, his family has been here. A sister, I think, and his dad,” she says, walking further into the hallway.

She leans in close to me and speaks quietly. “The rumor going around is that he is a singer. I’ve never heard of him: Sam Austin.” My heart races at the sound of his name. I thank her and walk as fast as I can towards the door out of the ICU.

Over the next week I keep track of Sam’s progress and I did run into his sister and dad one morning when I stopped in before going home. They didn’t question who I was, since I’m sure they thought I was just another nurse looking in on her patient. On my drive home one morning a thought suddenly enters my mind; this may be my only chance to tell Sam he has a daughter. Something deep down tells me it’s the right thing to do. I make up my mind right then that when he’s mentally ready I will tell him.