Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged #4) (35 page)

What am I doing here? Well, I’m apologizing for accusing her of doing something that she didn’t do. I’m trying to tell her that I’m sorry for the way I spoke to her when I last came here. The only problem? I’m never gonna know if she’ll forgive me because she isn’t able to answer me back.

“I’ll be back in a few days with some fresh ones, Holls.” I whisper, kneeling down to stroke the letters of her name before standing
back on my feet so I can head back to the apartment. I’m not sure how long I’ve been here, but I’ve said everything that I needed to say for now. Inhaling a deep breath, I turn back around, pausing my steps when I see Alexis sitting over with her mom. I didn’t know anybody else was here.

We haven’t spoken to each other since she gave me her friends’ speech, and that was a little over a week ago. I watch her for a couple of seconds, and decide not to disturb her. She looks deep in thought, and I don’t wanna be in the way.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what she said when she came over to my place, and the more I think about it, the more I can’t seem to accept that we’re really over.

“Brandon?” I hear her call my name when I reach the iron gates. “The flowers you put down for Holly are beautiful.” She walks around me, and I see her offer me a
small smile.

“Yeah, well, they were her favorites, so …”
I kick a stone across the pavement, sliding my hands in my jacket pockets, not sure whether I should stop and talk, or just be on my way.

“How are you keeping?”
Does she really wanna know the answer to that? “Right …” Yeah, I think the look I must’ve just given her has answered her question on my behalf.

“What about you? How are things?” I can’t just walk away from her. I can’t switch my feelings off, and I know she can’t either. It’s just hard to be around her, y’know?

She slides her purse from off of her arm, and reaches inside to grab something out, “I called you a couple of days ago …”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know what I would’ve sai
d to you so I thought it would be for the best if I didn’t answer.” What? I’m just being honest. “It’s hard to be around you knowing that I’m not allowed to hold you, or kiss you, dammit, Alexis, I wanna be with you.”
Yep, definitely going for the honestly approach today it seems.

“
Here. I asked them for two copies. I was going to drop it through your door on my way by,” she passes something over to me, and I swear my heart just stopped beating. “I really wish you’d have answered my calls.” I can see she’s trying to hold back the tears, and when she turns to walk away, I have to stop her.

I touch her shoulder, and
my eyes land back on the picture. I have to blink a couple of times to clear my vision, because knowing that I missed this through my own selfishness isn’t such a nice feeling to have, “I missed the baby scan?” I lift my gaze after I’ve asked, and see her nodding at me, a sorrowful look seeping into her eyes. “Wow. And … um, is everything okay? Are you feeling okay?”

“The baby is growing well and they seem happy with how everything’s going so far.”
Her eyes have brightened, and I can already tell what an amazing mom she’s gonna be to our son, or daughter. Personally, I think we’re having a boy. “What?” She asks, and she must’ve caught me spacing out on her. Do I tell her what was running through my mind just now?

“No, nothing,”
I answer, but I notice her eyes narrowing on me, and I know I’m not gonna get away with not telling her. “I just always told myself that I would never be like my mom and dad, that’s all. I guess some things are just hereditary.”

“Brandon, y
ou’re nothing like your parents,” she tells me, a sternness within her tone now. “You’re going to be an amazing father.”

“You’re wrong,
Alexis. I should’ve been there with you when you went to see our baby for the first time. But, I wasn’t. I wasn’t there because I put my own feelings before anybody else’s. What you said, you were right. You and our baby will be better off without me.”

“
No. No, we won’t. What I said, I was upset. I didn’t mean some of the things I said to you back then. I didn’t. I was hurting. You hurt me, and I wanted to hurt you back.” She sounds ashamed of herself, and she looks up into the sky for a brief second. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”

“
Well, I don’t blame you. The only person I blame is myself because I screwed up the only thing I had going for me in my life. You, Alexis. It’s always gonna be you.” Did a tear just fall from out of my eye? Yep, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything other than the two people standing right in front of me now. “So, what do you say we try and work on this friend’s thing you suggested?”

“You really mean it?”
Hope
. Yeah, that’s what’s displaying in her eyes now.

I lift my hand and reach out to take a hold of hers, stroking my thu
mb across the back of hers before shaking it the one time, “Friends?”
I hate that word.

“Friends.” She whispers, pulling me into her and squeezing me tight.

Am I happy about this? Well, I know it’s not gonna be easy, but I’d rather have them in my life like this, than not have them in my life at all.

“Hey, come on in,” I say with a smile
, and open the door up wide. Heading back down the hallway, I stop when I reach my bedroom door, and glance over my shoulder, “Go ahead and wait in the living room. I just need another couple of minutes.”

“No hurry,” she smiles, closing the main door behind her before walking by me and heading through to take a seat. “I told them we wouldn’t be arriving until around seven o’clock, so take your time.”

Alexis called me last week, and asked me to help her out with something. It’s not exactly one of the most normal things she wants me to do, but I said yes anyways. You see, her father and Diane called her and invited us to go and stay with them for the weekend.
Yeah, the both of us.
As it turns out, she hasn’t told them that we’re no longer together. Why am I going along with this? Well, that’s an easy one to answer. She asked, and I’ll do anything she wants or needs me to do if it means I get to be a part of her life. After everything I’ve done, I owe her, and not only that, it also means that I get to spend the whole weekend with her. So, we’re gonna fake it. Pretend we’re still together while we’re in Salem.

We’ve only seen each other
a handful of times since we decided to be friends, well, since
she
decided. Is it weird? Yeah. Yeah, it is. The hardest thing is not being able to put my arms around her, or have her close to me. She knows that I’ll do anything to be a part of her life again, and I’m just hoping that she’s gonna wake up one day soon and tell me that she wants me back by her side.

Am I nervous
about going with her to her fathers? A little. Do I think we’re gonna be able to pull this off? More than likely. Am I happy about this situation? Nope. And, I can’t believe you even asked me that question. We shouldn’t need to pretend. We should still be together.

I lay my case on the bed, opening it up before throwing a few essentials inside. Yeah, I maybe could’ve been a little more prepared and packed earlier, but you see, I didn’t get a chance. Layla fired one of the bartenders a couple of weeks ago after she caught him fucking one of the kitchen staff over the prepping counter, so I’ve been working a lot of extra shifts since then. The extra cash is most definitely welcome. Yeah, I’ve been pretty exhausted
working from eleven in the morning until midnight, six days a week, but, it’s not gonna be long before little Brandy Junior arrives, and I wanna make sure I can afford to take some time off so if Alexis needs me to help her, then I’ll be right there by her side. Wait. Did I just say if? Okay, that wasn’t the word I was looking for. I’m gonna be there to help, whether she needs me to be or not.

Alright. Done.

I pull the zipper closed on the case, and drag it into the hallway before resting it by the front door, “Do you need a drink or something before we head …
out?
” You hear that? Yeah, that was me hesitating in the doorway. “What ... um? What are you doing?” I cock my head to the side and walk cautiously toward her.

“Sorry,” she says, and she’s looking a little ashamed. “Don’t look at me
like that.” Her voice is small, her cheeks are turning pink, and she’s looking even more embarrassed because of what I just caught her doing.

I clear my throat, lift my hand, reach over, and take it from out of hers, “Well, it’s kinda hard to look at you in any other way
after seeing what you just did.”

“We need to go,” she
says, bouncing from foot to foot, not making any eye contact as she goes to step around me. What? She thinks I’m just gonna ignore this? Nope. Not a chance.

I put my hand
out and grab her gently by the arm, “I thought you said we had plenty of time?” I ask, my voice hinting suspicion, and I raise my eyebrows up high. Turning her around until she’s looking my way, it takes her a couple of seconds to bring her gaze up to mine, but when she does, I see her anxiety. “Talk to me.” I whisper, bending my knees just enough so I can search her eyes. They say actions speak louder than words, and I’ve gotta admit, I’m really hoping that’s the case right now.

“I’ll wait for you downstairs,” she answers and goes to turn around, but I tig
hten my grip on her some more. “Please?” She’s pleading now, and if the look over her face and in her eyes are anything to go by, then I’m assuming that she really doesn’t wanna be talking to me about this.

I let my hand fall away from her, and then watch as she turns around without giving me any kinda response. When she makes it to the door, I know I’ve gotta say something,
“Alexis?” I call over to her, and she pauses in the doorway before slowly turning back around, her lips formed in a tight line, “Yes, Brandon?”

“I miss you, too.”

***

Alexis’ father and Diane are already standing on the porch as Alexis pulls into the driveway, and when she switches the ignition off, they both start heading toward us, wearing wide smiles over their faces. I hear her take a long, deep breath, and then she glances over in my direction, “Are you ready for this?”

“What? Am I ready to pretend that I’m deeply in love with the love of my life who’s also the mother of my unborn child?” I raise my eyebrows, turning the question back around on her. What was she expecting me to do? Act like this is a normal situation?
Exactly
. Now, this? This is anything but normal, and she knows this just as well as I do.

She closes her eyes for a brief second and turns to grab her purse from off of the back seat. When I look back out of the window again, I see the two of them now standing right beside the driver’s side door, and they’re starting to look impatient. They’re waving at the both of us, and I wave back before climbing out. While Alexis’ father pulls her into an embrace, I head straight over to the trunk and grab our cases out. I see Diane placing her hand across Alexis’ stomach, and you know what? This makes me smile.
A lot
. You wanna know why? Well, I’m smiling because I know that she’s always gonna have people around her who care about her almost as much as I do. If only she were able to see how much for herself, huh?

“How was the drive here?”
Oh, good question, Paul. Awesome question, and I think I’ll let Alexis answer that one.

You wanna know how the drive over here was? Well, I think that it’s pretty safe to say that traveling in an uncomfortable silence for three hours straight was kinda mind-numbing. To add to that, Alexis was driving, oh, and the stereo wasn’t working. Yeah, you could assume that I didn’t have a whole lot of fun during the ride out here.

“Where do you want me to put these?” I ask Alexis as soon as we step inside the hallway. “Just over here or—?” I tilt my head to the right, gesturing over to the wall behind me.

“Dinner won’t be ready for another hour,” her father interrupts
me. “You look tired, sweetheart.” Yeah, now that he mentions it, she does look kinda pale. He wraps his arm around her shoulders, and ushers her through one of the doors a little further down.

“Come on, I’ll show you where to put those,” Diane smiles, nodding toward our bags. “You didn’t get as far as
the ground floor the last time you visited. I’ll show you where everything is.”

She’s right, I didn’t. The only time I’ve been here before was when we came
out here to try and find the … to find the diary, and the only place we looked around was in the garage, “It’s a nice place,” I say when we reach the first floor. “So, are you living here now or do you just sneak over from next door when you need some kicks?” I wink when she slaps my arm, but I already know that I’ve won her over. She seems nice, and I’m really glad that Alexis decided to give her a chance.

“The one right at the end is the bathroom … this one over on the right is mine and Pa—I mean, Paul’s room,” she stumbles on her words, and I chuckle, earning myself another slap in the process. “This one right here is yours.” She twists the handle and pushes the white wooden door open.

I take a peek inside, and then it suddenly dawns on me. My room is Alexis’ room. Right, of course. We’re gonna be sleeping together because they still think that …
huh
. Well, this is sure gonna be a fun weekend if it’s gonna be anything like the drive over here was. I take a step inside and place the cases down just behind the door.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Diane smiles. “I’m sure Alex will be on her way up
here as soon as her father stops making a fuss over her.” She pulls the door closed on her way out, leaving me standing in here on my own.

This room is pretty nice. It’s not overly huge, but there’s still plenty of space to move around. Well, will you look at that. She’s even got a window seat right by the bookcase. There’s a noticeboard pinned up on the wall by her desk and, well, I guess you could say that curiosity is starting to get the better of me.

Sliding my hands in the back of my pants pockets, I walk over to take a closer look. I wouldn’t necessarily call this snooping, I mean, it’s not like I’m rummaging through any closed drawers or her closet or anything. It’s on display so she obviously doesn’t mind if people wanna take a look.

I immediately smile when I see a photograph, and I recognize the little girl smiling back at me right away. She’s wearing a pink leotard and her hair is in braids. I’m guessing she must’ve been around maybe six or seven when this was taken. She looked carefree, I guess like most kids do that age, “What are you doing?” I glance over and see Alexis walking into the room.

“Nothing, I um … you were a little cutie, huh?” I take a step back and wave my hand toward the board, scratching the back of my head and feeling a little embarrassed she caught me snooping. Right. Yeah.
It’s not snooping
. She walks over to me, and I see her pull a tight smile while wrapping her arms around herself.

“Yeah, I guess …” her voice trails and she keeps her gaze focused on the wall. “I was only six in this one.” See? I told you. It’s pretty cool seeing this kinda stuff. Being in the place she lived before we met, seeing things from her childhood. Knowing that kinda stuff about people never used to interest me all that much, but I’m interested. I wanna know things. I wanna learn everything there is to know about her.

“Do you have any other pictures?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she nods and then turns until she’s fully facing me. “Why?” She’s watching me with a questioning look entering her eyes.

I shrug my shoulders and laugh a little, “I just wanna see them, that’s all.”

“What? No. Listen, you don’t need to pretend that you’re interested in all that stuff. Anyway, it was a long time ago.” She breaks our gaze, but immediately brings it back to mine when I take a step toward her.

“Are you insinuating that you know me better than I know myself?” I ask her. “Because if you are then go ahead and tell me what you think I’m thinking about right this second.” I take another step closer, her eyes staying on mine as I lean in some more. “Well?” I see her swallow, her lips parting, and her eyes start searching mine.

She’s not pushing me away.
Yeah, I thought so, beautiful.
My eyes stay right on hers, and I run my tongue slowly across my lips until we’re—“Alex! Dinner’s almost ready!”—
interrupted.

***

“Are you sure you’ve had enough to eat?” I hear Diane ask Alexis from the other side of the dining table. “You’ve hardly touched a thing.” I lift my gaze and see the look of concern spreading over her face.

“I’m fine,
” Alexis answers while pushing her plate further toward the center of the table. Well, Diane’s right. She’s had approximately five forkfuls,
tops
. How do I know this? Because I’ve been watching her, that’s why. She’s spent most of her time stabbing the pieces of chicken with her fork and chasing it around the plate than she has eating any of it. “You said there was something you wanted to talk about this weekend?” She raises her head while directing her question over to her father.

Oh, well this is news to me. I thought we were simply here so we could pretend to be a happy family. I wasn’t
aware there was any other purpose to this trip other than playing a game or two of cat and mouse. And, no. I’m not talking about the way she was playing around with her food.

You know what? I think I just lost my appetite. I saw what she did back at my place, and I saw the look in her eyes when I almost kissed her back in her room. If I didn’t like Diane so much then I’d be pretty tempted to throw her my best death glare for the remainder of the weekend for disturbing us.

“Is everything okay?” Paul sits forward in his seat, places his elbows on the table, and then rests his chin on his hands. “Have you two had a disagreement about something?”
Here we go.

Alexis shakes her head, but I can see the worry that’s etching over her entire face, “No, of course not. I’m just tired, that’s all.” Tired. She’s tired? Well, so am I. I’m tired
of the way she keeps denying the fact that she wants to be with me. I’m exhausted from all of the mixed signals she’s been throwing my way. And, I’m just as exhausted from knowing that I’m always gonna keep trying when I know she’s just gonna keep pushing me away.

I throw my napkin down on the table and go to stand, “Where are you going?” Alexis looks afraid, and I notice her eyes widen. It’s almost as though she thinks I’m gonna say something. Spill what’s really going on. She should know me better than
that. Am I gonna tell them? No. No, I’m not because if I do then it means that I’ll hurt her. I meant every goddamn word I’ve said and promised before. I’m never gonna hurt her again. It’s not an option for me.
Ever.