Authors: Allie Everhart
"Yeah," I say quietly. "I see why it would."
"I thought she was dead." She sniffles and wipes her face again. "I saw her there not moving, and I was so scared." She takes her laptop from me. "I just thought you should see that. So when she says her injury wasn't a big deal, don't believe her. It WAS a big deal."
"What happened after that? After she got to the hospital?"
"They took her into surgery. Set the bones back in place. The bone that was sticking out damaged some of the surrounding tissue. The doctor said it was unusual to see that much damage from a fall that was from only a few feet up, but when he saw the video, he said it was because of the way she hit the ground. She hit at an odd angle and that's why her leg twisted like that."
"How long did it take for her leg to heal?"
"All of last year. She spent most of it in physical therapy. But her leg's still not strong enough to go back to gymnastics, or do any kind of strenuous exercise, like lifting heavy weights. Her leg can't handle that kind of force."
And here I've been pushing her at the gym. Having her do more reps with heavier weights. It's what she told me she wanted, so I did it, not knowing I was putting her at risk.
I feel a tight knot in my stomach knowing I did that. Knowing I hurt her. How could she let me do that? She knows how much I care about her, and she purposely made me do something that was hurting her. Fuck, that pisses me off.
"That's why I've been trying to keep an eye on her," Amber continues. "When Kira wants something, it's nearly impossible to stop her. And I know how badly she wants to compete again. But it's over. She's done with gymnastics. But when I tell her that, she won't listen to me. She won't listen to
anyone
when it comes to that." She sniffles and coughs. "Sorry, Austin, but I don't feel well. I need to try and get some sleep. You gonna stay here?"
"Yeah. I need to talk to her."
Amber goes to her room. I remain in the living room, pacing the floor, waiting for Kira to wake up.
I knew something would happen to ruin things between us. I just had that feeling. And now here it is. Kira lied to me, and put herself at risk, and let me help her do it without me even knowing it.
I like Kira, maybe even love her, but I don't know if I can get past this. Trust is everything to me, and now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her. After finding this out, our relationship may be coming to an end.
Kira
I wake up when I hear Amber's door close. She must be going in there to rest. She wasn't feeling well when we were at the hospital and yet she stayed with me the whole time. I didn't tell her what happened. With everything else going on, I couldn't handle one of her lectures. But I know I'll get one later when I tell her I've been training with Austin. She's going to be furious at me for not telling her the truth, but she'll get over it.
But I'm afraid Austin won't. I wasn't honest with him, even after he repeatedly told me how important honesty is to him. I'm hoping he'll forgive me, but I don't know if he will. I still don't want to tell him about the accident, but I know if I don't, that Amber will, and I'd rather have him hear it from me.
I throw the covers back and look down at my leg. There's a big ugly boot wrapped around my calf. Two stress fractures caused by overuse. That's what the doctor said. I pushed myself too hard. My leg wasn't ready for all the force I put on it and now I can't work out again until it's healed.
My leg is throbbing. It's time to take another pain pill but my glass of water is empty. I'll have to go to the kitchen. I take my crutches from the side of the bed. I only have to use them for a week or two but I already hate them. They just remind me of all the months I spent hobbling around on the damn things as I waited for my leg to heal.
When I get to the kitchen I see Austin sitting on the couch. He has his back to me and he's leaning over, staring down at the floor.
What is he doing here? And why didn't Amber tell me she let him in? I don't want to talk to him right now. I'm not ready to. But he's right there and I can't avoid him.
"Austin?"
He stands up and turns around. "Kira. What are you doing? Shouldn't you be in bed?"
"The doctor said I need to get up and move around. It helps with the blood flow." I hold up my pain pills. "And I needed some water so I could take this."
He hurries over to the kitchen. "I'll get it." He grabs a glass from the cupboard.
"Thanks, but I can do it myself." I lift up one of the crutches. "I'm pretty good with these."
"Maybe I just wanted to help," He fills the glass with water and hands it to me.
I half-smile. "Thanks." I take my pill, then nod toward the couch. "Do you want to go sit down?"
He agrees to it, then watches as I make my way over there on the crutches. I'm feeling sick to my stomach because he's not acting like himself. He's quiet and distant and seems mad. I get why he's mad. I pushed him away. Made him leave the hospital. But I just couldn't have him there. I didn't want him seeing me like that. Weak and injured, and not the strong athlete he thinks I am. But I'm going to get that side of me back. I just need more time.
Once I'm seated on the couch, he sits down on the chair that's next to it. So he won't even sit next to me. That's not good.
"How are you feeling?" he asks with zero emotion in his voice. It's a tone I've never heard him use before.
"Better. It was just a stress fracture. Well, two. But at least it wasn't broken."
"How long before it heals?"
"A few weeks. I won't need the crutches the whole time, but I'll have to wear the boot for a while."
He's quiet again, staring at me. I don't know what to say to him.
After a few moments of awkward silence, he folds his arms over his chest and asks, "Were you ever going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
He huffs as his shoulders shrug. "I don't know where to begin. How about we start with Dylan? Anything you want to tell me?"
"About Dylan?" I'm surprised by his question. I thought he was going to ask about my leg. "Why would I have anything to tell you about Dylan? He's your friend, not mine."
"Oh. So because he's my friend and not yours, you thought it was okay to lie to him?"
I'm feeling nervous, anxious, my heart beating fast. What's going on here? Why is he asking about Dylan? Shit. I promised Amber I wouldn't say anything.
"I'm not lying to Dylan," I say. "I don't know what you mean."
He stares at me, his arms still crossed. "Amber. Your roommate, Amber."
"What about her?"
"Fuck." He stands up and walks over to the window. "You're still not going to tell me? I basically told you I already know and you still won't admit it?"
So he knows about Amber. She told me not to tell him so I didn't. So who did?
"Amber asked me not to tell you," I say.
I see his jaw clench as he gazes out the window at the cloudy sky. "Dylan's one of my closest friends. He's spent hours, weeks, months trying to find her. And you knew this. You knew he hasn't been able to move on. And this whole time you were living with her and said nothing." He looks at me, anger in his eyes. "I don't give a shit if she told you not to tell me. This is something that needs to be told. It's completely stupid to keep this a secret."
"Oh, so now I'm stupid?" I feel my own anger ramping up. I don't like his tone and the way he's looking at me, like he thinks I did this to hurt his friend.
"I didn't say
you
were stupid. I said keeping this a secret was stupid. You knew how much Dylan wanted to find her. You knew how much he's struggled to get over her."
"He's dating the head cheerleader for his college's football team," I remind him. "That doesn't seem like struggling."
Dylan started dating that girl a couple weeks ago. I've only met her one time. She's gorgeous, like model gorgeous, with blond hair, bright blue eyes, and a great body. Actually, now that I think about it, she kind of looks like Amber. Is that why Dylan is dating her? Because she reminds him of Amber?
"He's only dating Allison because he had to move on," Austin says. "He couldn't keep waiting the rest of his life for Amber. He already wasted five months searching for her, and it turns out, she's been here the whole time, living with my girlfriend." He turns back to the window and I see his neck move as he swallows.
"How did you find out?" I ask quietly.
"Amber told me. You were sleeping when I got here so Amber and I were talking. She thought I already knew, and when I told her I didn't, it was too late. She had to tell me."
"I wanted to tell you, Austin. I really did. But Amber is my best friend. She begged me not to say anything, so I didn't."
"And you and I aren't friends? After all the time we've spent together? All the late night talks? You still don't consider us friends?"
"Of course I do. You're more than a friend. But I didn't want to betray Amber."
"So you betrayed me. And Dylan."
"I'm sorry, okay? I thought I was doing the right thing. Amber has Matt, and I knew Dylan would find someone else. He has a million girls wanting to go out with him. I knew he'd eventually give up on Amber. And he did."
"He hasn't given up on her," Austin mutters, gazing out the window at the darkening sky. "Just last week, I caught him searching her name on the Internet. He shut it down when he saw me looking, but I already saw the search. He typed in Amber's name and New York."
"Then tell him. Just tell him she's here."
"I will. But first we have some other things to discuss."
I feel the heaviness in the air. I don't know what he's about to say but I just want him to say it and get it over with because I'm feeling really sick right now. I don't like this. I don't like the way he's acting or his tone or the fact that he's keeping his distance and won't even touch me. He's always touching me when we're together, even if it's just holding my hand. But now? Nothing.
"Kira." He sighs and drops his head. "Why can't you be honest with me?"
"I HAVE been honest with you. I—"
"You haven't. You haven't been honest. Just admit it."
"Are we still talking about Dylan? Because there isn't anything else to say. You already know the truth."
His head lifts and he looks me in the eye. "What else haven't you told me?"
I swallow and glance away, my heart pounding.
"What about your leg?" he asks.
I look back at him. "I told you I hurt my leg. I never lied about that."
"And that's all you have to say about it?"
"What else is there to say? I broke my leg. It happened over a year ago."
"And it wasn't a big deal," he says. "Isn't that what you said?"
"Yes."
"So that's it? That's all you're going to tell me?"
I know I should tell him what really happened but I don't want to. And I don't need to. I already told him I broke my leg. I just didn't tell him how bad it was, because if I did, he'd treat me like Amber does, and my parents, and everyone else who knows what happened that day. He'd never work out with me again. He wouldn't race me on the bike. He'd be constantly telling me to rest my leg. Asking me if it hurts.
I'm tired of being treated that way. I'm an athlete. A gymnast. Not some girl with a broken leg. This latest injury is just a minor setback. My leg will heal and then I'll go back to getting in shape. I'm not letting the doctors or Amber or my parents tell me my dream is over. And I'm not letting Austin do it either.
"I already told you everything," I say. "There's nothing more to say."
He stares back at me, then mutters, "Fuck." He looks out the window again. "I can't believe you're doing this. I thought we—forget it. Guess I was wrong." He turns and walks away, heading to the door.
"Where are you going?"
He stops and turns back to me. "I like you, Kira. I more than like you. But I don't stay with people who lie to me. I've been nothing but honest with you, and I expected you to do the same for me. But you didn't. You haven't. You've lied to me this whole time. From day one. And what's even worse, is that you used me. You made me help you do something I never would've done if I'd known the truth. But I guess your own personal goals were more important than me, and what we had together."
Had?
Wait—so he's breaking up with me? I'm trying to sort out what he said as fast as I can so I can figure out what's going on here. And then my brain finally catches up. He already knows what happened. Someone told him. It had to be Amber. But why? Why would she do that to me?
"Austin, I..." I have no words. I don't know how to explain this.
He waits, but when I don't say anything, he walks to the door. "Good luck with your gymnastics career." He glances back at me. "I hope your leg gets better." He opens the door.
"Austin, wait." I grab my crutches and hobble over to him. "Can we talk about this later?"
"What's there to talk about? You just said you have nothing to tell me."
I look down, and see his hand wrap around mine.
"I care about you, Kira. And I really hope you care enough about
yourself
to stop what you're doing before you hurt yourself again. And I really hope you stop lying to all the people who care about you. They're just trying to help. I know you don't think so, but they are. They're not out to get you. They just don't want to see you get hurt again." I keep my head down as he continues, his hand still loosely holding mine. "I saw the video and...shit, I would've been a freaking mess seeing you lying there unconscious. I get why Amber is so protective of you, and why she's so worried about you. I saw her in that video. She was on the floor, sobbing, because her best friend was hurt and unresponsive and being carried away on a stretcher. She was crying again today just showing me the video. She was scared, Kira. Scared of losing her best friend. And now she's scared you'll get hurt again like you did today. I am too. But I don't think there's anything I, or anyone else, can say that will stop you. You have to decide this yourself. Otherwise, you'll just keep doing what you're doing and find new ways to hide it." He lets go of my hand. "Goodbye, Kira."