My Love Break (4 page)

The subtle teasing glint in my guardian’s eyes frosted over. “Yes.”

Things were much worse that I suspected. My personal life had never been a factor in Konstantinov dealings. Fury seeped through me, icing over all my softer emotions.

“How bad?”

“No one knows but for how long? You and Risa need to return to the States as soon as you’re cleared. The farther away you are from here the better.”

The picturesque view outside my window melted away as I imagined the wolves circling around my family. “How many losses?”

“Too many.”

“I need to know.”

“Not yet.”

The answer was unacceptable. “I tire of the secrecy, Elaine. Tell me now.”

“My first and only duty has been to see to your well-being. I will do this until the moment I die.”

I swallowed back the curses that yearned to fly from my mouth. Elaine was unmovable when she followed her duty. Nothing could sway her from the path. Not even me.

“I am nearly at full capacity.”

“No, you’re not. Do you think I have not talked to the doctors, Damian?”

I flexed my hand in frustration. Even I could see my strength wasn’t nearly what it should be. Dammit.

“Tell me this much. Are we striking back?”

“Every day.”

“Successfully.”

“Yes, but it’s not done yet.”

Death and vengeance. It was never-ending, but such was life in the Russian Mafia. These were the sacrifices given so that I would not become part of the cycle. But it would appear that my time had come to an end.

“Was I targeted, Elaine?”

“No. You were incidental. They think you were a guard.”

So who was the target? Was it a meeting? My blood grew cold.

“Where did it happen?”

Elaine gave me a look. I was trying to get my information any way I could. I detested not knowing the answers and I detested how slow my mind was working at coming up with the questions. Important questions at that.

“Outside of Clichy.”

“My father—”

“Would want you to rest and be safe. You know this, Damian. You will know what you need to know when the time is right. Do not undo all of his work.”

Although I was a grown man, a billionaire in his own right, I could not and would not go against my father or his commands. Despite a flare of frustration, I composed myself until I was confident all emotion was contained.

I was good at doing that. It was a small comfort in these circumstances but I took what I could.

“When can I leave?”

“Not for at least another three weeks.”

“That’s too long. I’ve been away from work.”

“Things are being handled. No one knows that you’re here.”

“Where am I supposed to be?”

“A retreat in Nepal.”

Things were definitely very bad if I needed to be hidden like this. Still, I wondered what my father had to say. I imagined my being here was under his command. I would’ve liked to see him, but that wasn’t how it worked.

I might see him tomorrow, next month, or next year. There wasn’t a timetable. He’d summon and I would answer. In this I was impeccably obedient.

“I see. Business as usual then.”

“It’s necessary.”

“Have you contacted Gretchen?”

Elaine paused before answering. “There was no need.”

This was completely unacceptable. I may have been ready to terminate our relationship, but the fact was Gretchen was still mine. She deserved respect and protection.

If I was targeted she would be too.

“You are aware we are involved, yes?”

“She is not needed here.”

“If I go missing Gretchen will ask and turn over stones she doesn’t need to see. Worse—she may be used as leverage. She needs to know.”

Elaine nodded. It was neutral at best. “I have kept her informed of your travels. She is fine. Her business is thriving and keeping her busy.”

I didn’t bother to point out the inconsistency in her story. I had to take care of it. Gretchen was discreet and quite busy with her own life, but it didn’t mean she wouldn’t have worried or tried to track me down.

Those questions would make waves. Neither of us could afford to crash against the rocks because of it.

“I need Risa back here. Call her.”

Elaine got up. “Very well. I need to stretch my legs. I’ll send Ms. Kelly down.”

Kelly. So that’s her last name.

I watched as the woman who’d been the only mother-figure I’d ever had walked out. Outwardly unflappable, she still betrayed her agitation about Gretchen. She didn’t want her here.

Neither did I.

I didn’t believe Elaine’s reasons were due to outraged morals. At least, I didn’t think so. Her reasons were her own. I didn’t need to pry.

Instead, I allowed my mind to wander as I waited for Risa to come back to me. She wasn’t Leon’s which meant she was going to be mine. Even if only professionally. I’d keep her busy just so that she wouldn’t have the energy or ability to wander too far away from me.

And once we were back in the States, once all this was over, once it was safe, once Risa was no longer my PA, once I secured another path for her, then I’d show her who she belonged to.

It would be glorious. I’d take her, make her my pet, tie her in knots so that she couldn’t breathe without me. I would go slow, adding the links between us with a discreet hand. Training her would be…exquisite.

I just knew it would be.

I sat up straighter when I heard the cadence of her feet coming my way. Already I recognized the sound of those particular steps.

Suddenly, I imagined stripping Risa of her clothes while running her a bath. The image was so vivid I’d swear it had happened.

Three weeks in this bed was already three weeks too long.

Risa walked in, expression arranged in a professional mask. How did I know this? I just did. This wasn’t the real Risa.

Whatever she saw in my face caused her to rush towards me. Her dark gaze swam with worry. “Are you all right, Sir? You look pale. I’ll call the doctor.”

Risa turned away. My hand shot out and captured her wrist. “It’s not necessary.”

“But—”

I hated that she saw me as an invalid. I couldn’t wait to get out of this damned room more than ever. “Forget about it.” Seeing Risa was about to argue with me, I cut through her well-meaning protests. “I have something I need you to do.”

Risa stared at me a moment longer than necessary. She practically vibrated with the apparent desire to overrule my judgment.

I tightened my jaw. Regardless of how much I wanted to fuck her until she couldn’t move a muscle, I didn’t deal well with insubordination. Risa would not prove to be the exception.

“Are you or are you not my PA?”

Risa straightened. She licked her lips and answered me softly, “I am.”

Seeing that pink tongue made me imagine it flicking all up and down my shaft. Thwarted desire made my voice rougher than necessary. “Are you sure of it? From where I’m sitting you appear to have difficulty with accepting my direction. Is this going to continue to be a problem, Miss Kelly?”

“No, Sir.”

“Are you sure?”

I let go of her wrist. The feeling of her silken flesh beneath mine was such a sweet sensation. I wanted to touch her again. I balled my hand into a fist to keep from running my fingers along her arm.

“Absolutely, Sir.”

Risa crossed her hands. Her entire being radiated submissiveness. My cock, already hard, strained to cross the line into painful. My imaginations took control of me.

I immediately saw Risa kneeling by my feet. She had her hands crossed on her lap, much like she was now, except her head was bent and Risa was completely naked.

Her full breasts, tiny waist, rounded hips and ass—I could see them as clearly as I could see her now. My mouth watered. I already knew how hard her nipples could get when I sucked them.

Fuck!

I was going to have to get control of myself better than this or I wouldn’t last one day without bringing down a lawsuit on my head. Maybe being stuck in this bed wasn’t so terrible of a thing.

Liar.

“What would you like for me to do, Mr. Black-Price?”

Reluctance hit me. Suddenly, I wished I didn’t need to do this. I didn’t want the intrusion of my real life away from this room. Guilt visited. Gretchen didn’t deserve to be the unwanted intruder in this. She deserved the utmost respect and my attitude towards her was troubling to say the least.

The reminder was just the impetus I needed. “Contact Gretchen Smith and arrange for her to be flown here ASAP on my jet.”

RISA

I fucking couldn’t breathe.

It had been over a day and I still couldn’t draw in a breath without feeling like my lungs were on fire. I hurt beyond tears. I hurt beyond explanation.

I just hurt.

My lover, my Damian, ordered me to bring his ex to see him. He still thought they were together. Worse, he missed her enough to have her fetched first class and in style. I wanted to break and smash everything within sight.

Elaine cautioned me every chance she got that I had to keep it together and to remember why I was going through this charade. I couldn’t even bring myself to pretend to not feeling like my heart was being crushed around her.

I was angry. I wanted a target.

“Why? This is so stupid and wrong! Pretending I don’t matter—it doesn’t make any sense! Nothing makes sense! My life has stopped making sense from the moment Damian knocked me out and chained me to a bed! And now he’s forgotten me and wants his ex-girlfriend back!”

Those were the words I wanted to shriek, but they remained lodged in my throat.

No wonder I couldn’t breathe.

I felt trapped. There was nowhere I could go.

Leon watched me like he expected me to bolt at any minute every time I took a step out of Damian’s room. Elaine kept me company during her free moments, which always seemed to arrive right when I was about let loose a wail of “Damn you! Why can’t you remember me?”

Just the sight of her calm, bloodless expression was enough to rein me back.

But the worst of it was that Damian seemed hell bent on keeping me right by his side. He acquired matching laptops and despite the standing orders from the medical staff, Damian worked all day. Which meant I worked all day too.

I shared my lunches and dinners with him as well. Dainty bites were all I could manage and I had to swallow them even though it felt like sand. Damian frowned at the amount of food I left on my plate but didn’t say anything.

Apparently, he wasn’t one to cross the line into my personal choices. At least not again now that he no longer thought I was fucking Leon Konstantinov.

It was pitiful at how much I wished to be insulted again. At least I could soothe myself with the assumption that Damian was jealous. Only until I remembered that Gretchen Smith was winging her way back to her ex-lover’s side.

I wished she had said no to the summons.

My fingers flew over the laptop keys, a little harder than necessary. The new equipment excused the fact that I didn’t have immediate access to his information, but the fact that I didn’t even have an e-mail address set up should’ve tipped Damian off. I honestly thought it would and actually felt relief at the chance of the charade coming to an end.

I didn’t want to be his PA.

I wanted to be who I’d been—his lover. His submissive. The keeper of his heart.

Instead, I was relegated to being chained by Damian’s side in a way that was millions of times worse than when I was in his country home.

“Risa, I’m sending over a list that needs to be divided. Do you have it yet?”

“Yes, Sir.”

I focused on the message that just popped up. We were currently going through his backlog of e-mail. The bulk of his business dealings had been taken over by his father. Damian’s disappearance hadn’t been much more than a blip considering all things.

Still, there were thousands of e-mails he needed to read through that had been copied over in his absence.

“Good. I want them divided into folders. I’m sending over instructions on the hierarchy I require.”

I kept my gaze trained on the screen. I already knew his system. He showed it to me not too long after I first saw Gretchen outside of his apartment. Even though I had mentioned for him to help me organize my computer files and folders as a joke, Damian took it seriously.

Personally, I always thought it was just so that he could spend more time with me. Now I wondered if that was yet another thing I saw through a slanted viewpoint. Maybe Damian really didn’t love me at all. Maybe he’d just been playing with me just like I’d accused him of doing.

No! Don’t go down this road. What you two felt was real. He really loved you, enough to break the damned law, and you loved him enough to forgive him for chaining you up.

It was fucked up. It was twisted. It was real. It was us.

My cheeks heated up. I could hear my heart pounding through my ears. I was only a thought or two away from blubbering all over my laptop.

I wanted things to be like they were, before the snow and blood and continuous mechanical beeps. I wanted Damian to be that icy and self-contained IT Director who made me burn for him with each glance. Again, I wanted us to be that couple who lived a few miles away from each other and went out to eat after work before we went home to fuck in the dirtiest most addictive ways.

I wanted my life of before.

I wanted the Damian that wanted me and didn’t want Gretchen Smith.

I wanted to be remembered.

Or maybe better—I wanted to forget the now and think about then.