Nerd Haiku (7 page)

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Authors: Robb Pearlman

Wolverine kicks ass.

Adamantium
and
'tude?

I'd go gay for him.

The hottest part of

Scott Pilgrim vs. the Worl
d
?

Not all boy exes.

Frodo and Samwise,

Archie and Jughead, too. Guys,

it's time to come out.

Keep your Robin Hood.

I can do you one better:

the man they call Jayne.

With great power comes

great responsibility?

Way too much pressure.

Dear Housekeeping: Please

vacuum under the bed, too.

I may have Tribbles.

I never go down

to the basement for laundry.

The C.H.U.Ds will get me.

OK, I get that

“Knowing is half the battle.”

What's the other half?

We're the 99!

Occupy Arrakis! Screw

CHOAM Corporation!

I refuse to eat

50-year-old Soylent Green.

Too many hormones.

LARPing sounds stranger

than live-action role-playing,

but it saves me time.

Martin needs more time?

He had better hurry up.

Winter is coming.

Early adopter,

I'm now suffering from bad

newer gen envy.

When I go shopping,

I wait for back-to-school sales

on Diagon Alley.

Out of the way, kid.

This toy's marketed to the

adult collector.

The cutest little

Sith Lord from here to Nabu.

Lego Darth Vader.

Santa, take me to

the Island of Misfit Toys.

It's where I belong.

So we're just supposed

to forget the Smoke Monster?

I still don't get it.

Too long to explain.

Netflix all of the seasons,

and then we can talk.

Things don't always make

sense, like poverty, crime, or

invisible jets
.

I'd like to thank the

below, but not in haiku.

This nerd's exhausted.

Ethan Collings, Jessica Fuller, David Harmon, Gene Hult, Jono Jarrett, James Jayo, Linda Kaplan, Nellie Kurtzman, Linda Pricci, Mary Robinson, David Rosen, Mitchell Waters, Leah Whisler, and all of the writers, artists, creators, Jedi, Federation Officers, Time Lords, Hobbits, Kryptonians, and Asgardians who give us something to live for.

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