Never Tied Down (The Never Duet #2) (24 page)

   “We’ve both got to get to work,” I said, regret saturating my voice.  I didn’t want to let her go.  I wanted to keep her in that apartment, inside that bubble, where I knew I could help her if she needed me.  If we went to work, well, I wouldn’t be around and that bothered me.  “Will you make me a promise?  Two, actually?”

   She turned in my arms, leaving her bagel on the counter where she’d stopped preparing it once I put my hands on her.  “Sure.  Anything.”

   God, I loved her.

   “I need you to promise me that if you need me today, if you’re feeling anxious, that you’ll call.  I can’t promise I’ll be able to come immediately, but I’ll come.  If you call, I’ll be there.”

   Her head tilted and her eyes went softer, then her hand came up to press against my cheek.

   “I’ll call,” she whispered, then stretched up to kiss me lightly on the lips.  “And the second promise?”

   I took in a deep breath.  “Promise me that if you decide to call Kevin, you’ll do it when I’m around.”

   She looked at me for a long moment, her eyes seeming to look for something in mine, as if she were trying to read something in them.  But then her other hand came to my other cheek and she said, “I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to call him, but if I do, I promise I’ll do it with you.”  Her thumbs stroked my jaw.  “I don’t think I could do it without you,” she added, her voice quieter. 

   “You’re so strong,” I whispered, pulling her closer to me.  “But you’ve been through more than one person should have to endure, and I want to make sure I’m here to hold your hand if you need it.”  Her hands moved to the back of my neck as her face moved closer to mine again.

   “I don’t know how I got so lucky to find you, Riot Bentley, but I’m never going to let you go.”

   She pressed her mouth to mine in a soft kiss, her arms wrapping around my neck and her breasts pressing against my chest.  I let her give me that comfort, hoping she was taking the same from me.

   The day progressed without much more drama, but I was on high alert.  I imagined worst-case scenarios.  Someone had given Kevin her address before, that same person could have given him the address to her new place.  What if he showed up?  I didn’t know what was going through her mind, but I wondered how long it would take her to realize her father’s phone number had an area code based two hours away.  And even if she did figure it out, I couldn’t tell which direction that would send her in.  I wondered if it would make her want to talk to him more, or do the opposite and make her reject him.

   I had no idea.  And I felt helpless.

   So, I did what I could.

   I met her for lunch at our coffee shop.  I made sure she was all right, and she seemed to be doing fine.  I didn’t press her about calling her father and she didn’t mention it either.  It seemed as though I was the only one torn up about it.  So I tried to let it go, tried to pretend that everything wasn’t balancing on some tightrope dangling over a large crevasse.  If Kalli was cool, I’d be cool too.

  That was, until I got a call from Halah over dinner.

  Kalli and I were sitting on her couch, eating Chinese takeout, watching her favorite show, and when my phone rang and I saw it was Halah, something in my gut told me it was
the
call.

   “Shit,” I whispered, swiping my finger across my phone to answer the call.  “Hello?”

   “Riot?”  Halah’s voice came through the phone and I could tell she was crying.

   “Hal?  What’s wrong?”  I figured I knew what was wrong, but hearing her in tears made my heart rate spike regardless. 

   She gave a little laugh at my question, but then resumed crying.

   “Everything’s wrong, Ri.”  I heard her take in a shaky and stuttered breath, and then she continued.  “I’m pregnant.”

   I’d known it.  I’d known she was pregnant ever since Kalli had dropped the bomb on me, but hearing her say the words didn’t make it any easier to take.  Halah was twenty-five.  She wasn’t too young to have a baby, but she hadn’t really grown up yet.  She’d been living on a freaking cruise ship most of her adult life and hadn’t really been introduced to the real world.  She was about to get a pretty drastic reality check.

   I had no idea what to say to her and that had never happened before.

   “Ask her if she’s okay.”  Those words were whispered from Kalli and I couldn’t have been more grateful.  She turned toward me, bringing her legs up on the couch and scooting closer, resting her hand on my thigh.  Then she motioned toward the phone, pushing me to ask the question of Hal.

   “Are you all right?”

   “I mean, technically, yeah.  I’m pregnant, though.  I’m fine physically, but I don’t know what to do…”  Her voice trailed off and I imagined all the things running through her mind.

   “You’ve got lots of options,” I offered, not sure, again, what to say.  All I heard on the other end of the line was sniffling.  She was crying a lot and I was hours away.  “Are you at home?  Is Ma there?”  Surely my mother could make her stop crying, or at least hug her or something.  My arms itched to wrap around her.  Instead, I brought my hand up and rubbed it on the underside of my chin.  It had been there just seconds when Kalli captured it with her own hand and threaded her fingers through mine.

   “Can you put her on speaker?” Kalli asked.

   I nodded and did as she asked.  “Hal, you’re on speaker and Kalli’s here, okay?”

   “Okay,” she mumbled through a cry.

   “Hey, Hal,” Kalli said softly.  “How far along are you?”

   “About fourteen weeks.”

   “Hmm, that’s still pretty early.  Have you been to see a doctor yet?”

   “I saw a doctor in Florida about a month ago when we docked after a run.”

   “And the doctor said everything looked fine?  The baby’s healthy?”

   “Yeah,” she replied, sounding a little bit calmer with every answer.

   “And you’re taking vitamins?”

   “I’m trying, but I keep throwing them up.”

   “That’s okay.  You should start to feel a little better in a few weeks, and the baby will get whatever it needs from you regardless.  You’re doing fine.”  Kalli paused, looking at me, but I wasn’t about to interrupt the incredible line of questioning she had going on.  “Have you told your parents yet?”

   Silence.

   My mind started spinning a mile a minute.  My gut was telling me that Ma and Pops would never turn Halah away.  They’d be shocked by her news, perhaps a little disappointed at first, but they’d never kick her out, never make her go away.  But her silence had me worried.  What if she’d told them and they’d blown up?

   “Halah, Riot and I aren’t here to judge you, we want to help.”

   “I’m afraid to tell them.”

   “Why? Ma and Pops love you.”

   “I’m afraid they’ll be disappointed in me,” she said, and started crying again.  I didn’t know what to say to that.

   “They’re probably going to be really surprised, Halah.  And they might think they’re disappointed at first, but they will come around and they’ll support you no matter what.  I know I’ve just met your family, but your parents are so loving and caring.  There’s no way they’ll turn you away for this.”

   Kalli’s eyes came up to meet mine and even she looked worried.  I could see what looked like indecision in her eyes.  She gave my hand a squeeze and then asked a question I hadn’t even considered.

   “Is the father supporting you with everything?”

   The father?  For fuck’s sake, a guy had gotten my baby sister pregnant.  Instantly I was enraged, which was why Kalli’s free hand found its way to my chest.  My head snapped to look at her, only to see her gently shaking her head at me.  Then her hand moved from my chest to my cheek, where she gave me a gentle rub.  I groaned, with images of my sister, hugely pregnant, and my fist slamming into some dude’s face alternating through my brain.

   “I haven’t told him.”  Halah’s voice might as well have been a whisper for how quietly she said those words.

   “Oh, Halah…” Kalli said, sounding both extremely sorry for Hal, but also not in agreement with her statement.  I, on the other hand, was still angry that some dude had gotten my sister pregnant.

   “Who is he?” I barked.

   “Ri, calm down,” she answered, still upset, but the crying was tapering off.  “He didn’t do anything wrong.  We broke up before I found out I was pregnant.  He was quitting the boat and I didn’t want a long-distance thing.  It’s not like he knocked me up and then ditched me.”

   “Who.  Is.  He?”

   “His name is Jordy.”

   “Jordy?” I scoffed.  “What kind of a name is Jordy?”

   “Riot,” Kalli whispered angrily, the space between her eyebrows crinkling as they drew together.  “Be quiet.  You’re not helping.”  She shook her head at me and truthfully, I instantly felt a little bad about my comment.  “Now, Hal, why haven’t you told him yet?”

   “He took our breakup really hard.  I mean, so did I.  I love him.  But I didn’t want a relationship where I never saw him.  He was starting an art program at a really good school, and I know if I tell him, he’ll drop out and come here.”

   “Damn straight he will,” I yelled, right before Kalli gave me a slap on the arm. 

   “Seriously, Riot?  Your macho big brother routine isn’t helping.”  This came from Halah.

   “Don’t listen to him.”

   “I’m not.”

   “Hey,” I cried.  “If you didn’t want me to act like your big brother, then why did you call?”

   “Ugh, Riot, I needed to tell someone.  I’m terrified to tell Ma and Pops, Jordy can’t know because it’ll ruin his life, and sooner or later, everyone’s going to find out because I’m going to start
looking
pregnant any day now.  Excuse me if I was hoping my big brother could offer me some soothing words or helpful advice.  For crying out loud, at least your girlfriend isn’t a complete asshole.”

   “Okay, Hal, calm down,” Kalli said with a soothing voice.  “I think Riot is just having a hard time processing the fact that his little sister had to have sex with someone in order to get pregnant.”

   I couldn’t help it if I growled a little.

   “But seriously, Halah, maybe you should call Jordy and tell him what’s going on.  It might be easier to tell your parents if you have a plan.”

   “But I know he’ll quit school and come to me,”

   I was biting my lip really hard, trying not to explain to her that dropping out of school and coming to her was exactly what he should be doing.

   “That’s okay.  You shouldn’t have to be going through this alone, anyway.  And it sounds like you guys really love each other.  It’s not fair to leave him out of the picture.  He deserves to have a relationship with his baby.”

   As the last words left her mouth, I heard them getting softer.  And when I turned to look at her, I saw her features soften too.  And then she turned and rested her head on my shoulder and I knew she was out.  It was my turn to be the reasonable brother who offered only compassionate advice.

   “Kalli’s right,” I agreed.  “You need to call him and tell him what’s up.  Odds are he’ll show up and that’s okay.  It’s okay for him to change the course of his life for this, Hals.  There are art schools in San Francisco.  You are planning on staying in San Fran, right?”

   “I can’t really imagine having a baby without Ma around,” she said softly, and that clinched it for me. 

   “You need to call Jordy, and he needs to be with you when you tell Ma and Pops.  He needs to be there for you.  And if you want, I’ll drive up when you tell them as well.  Kalli and I are here for you.  Whatever you need.”  As I spoke I felt Kalli’s hand come to my chest, then move up my shoulder, finally coming to rest on the side of my neck, her thumb gently stroking over my throat.

   “Thanks, Ri,” she said, and I could tell she was crying again.

   “Don’t cry,” I said softly.  “Everything will be okay.  You’re gonna be a mom.”  That only made her cry even harder.

   After ten more minutes of trying to get my baby sister to dry up, she finally got ahold of her emotions enough to agree to call Jordy and get his ass to San Francisco.  I ended the call, tossed my phone on the couch cushion next to me, then laid my hand on Kalli’s thigh.

   “Well, Halah’s pregnant,” I said with mock surprise.  Luckily, Kalli giggled.  She giggled in between sniffles, but she giggled nonetheless.  “You all right?”

   “Yeah.  I guess.”

   “Lots of stuff happening.  Heavy stuff.  Stuff that makes you think about things.”  I ran my hand slowly up and down her leg, trying to coax her into talking to me.  I didn’t want to push her, and I knew eventually she’d open up and tell me what was going on in her brain, but I also knew that for Kalli, keeping emotions locked inside only did bad things.  Things I wanted to avoid if possible.

   “What would you say if I told you I wanted to call Kevin?”

   God, I loved her.

   “I’d say you’ve got every right to call him.”

   “Do you think it’s stupid and masochistic?”

   It was my turn to support her, so I turned toward her on the couch and took her hands in mine, lowered my head, and looked directly into her eyes.

   “There is nothing stupid about wanting to talk to your own father.  It’s natural to be curious and to want some answers.  It’s not masochistic, but I’m hoping you go into it understanding that you can’t let his actions determine your worth.  If he ends up being a complete jackass and doesn’t see what a great, smart, beautiful, and talented daughter he has, well, that’s on him, not you.”

   “I’m really afraid that if I talk to him and find out he’s a terrible person, it’ll break something inside me, like the last piece of me that is still intact will crumble altogether.  But I’m more afraid of finding out he’s great.”

   “Baby, why would it be bad if he turns out to be great?”

   “Because then I’ll know I missed out on having a great dad all these years.”  She said the words and tears tumbled down her cheeks.  I’d never really felt my heart break before that moment.  Kalli was a grown woman.  A successful, grown, sophisticated, independent woman, and the dad who abandoned her years ago could still turn her into a brokenhearted little girl.  I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her to me, then lay back on the couch with her body draped over mine.