Authors: MJ Fields
“Sorry
man.”
“We have stuff to take to Jade’s
. If you need anything call me, I’m here,” Alex said.
He looked to the kitchen and saw Tessa hugging his mom. And they left. He ate and fell asleep on the couch.
~
They stopped at the store before they went to Jade’s. Tessa bought some parenting magazines, pickles, and peanut butter. Her hope was to give Jade something to look forward to.
They walked in, and Jade was asleep on the couch. Uncle Jack thanked them and asked if they would stay and wait until she woke up. They sat and watched her sleep for about an hour, she woke up screaming. Tessa sat beside the couch and rubbed her back.
“Tessa
, I miss him.”
“I’
m sorry,” Tessa said “So sorry,” she sat and snuggled with her. “Uncle Jack can I stay the night?”
“Of course.”
Alex left and headed back to Lucas’s for a bit. They didn’t talk much, but Lucas was glad he was there.
Jade woke up screaming every three hours and Tessa held her each time.
The next morning Tessa woke, and Jade was already up. She was sitting on the couch looking through one of the magazines Tessa had brought.
“This is how I’
m going to get through this, huh Tessa?”
“Of course.”
“Okay then,” Jade said. “It hurts Tessa, really bad.”
“I am so
sorry Jade.”
“You just lost Toby, and you seem
ed to be okay.”
“That was different from you and Tommy. And you are having a baby, thank God because if you acted the way I did in the beginning we would b
e in deep trouble,” Tessa joked. It hit Tessa that she really hadn’t had time to grieve; on the heels of Ann’s death was Toby’s and then Lucas’s baby, and now Tommy. None of it was alright, but she couldn’t afford to waste anymore time feeling sorry for herself for the things she couldn’t change.
“If you say so, you just didn’t get the chance to see him every day, or hug him and kiss him, or touch him every single day. You didn’t just know he would hold your hand and eat lunch with you or throw pebbles at your window every other night and sneak in and stay all night telling you and showing you how special you were to him,” she began to cry, “Tessa before the first time he gave me a ring and asked me to marry him on one knee with flowers. We even exchanged
vows in front of God. Tessa, to him and I, we were forever,” Jade sobbed.
“
Jade you are forever. In here,” she touched her heart, “and in here,” she rubbed Jade’s belly. “In just a few short months you get to see him in your child’s eyes every day Jade, you can grieve for awhile, but after that for your child-- you need to celebrate Tommy’s life every day. By the way… it’s a boy.” She smiled and cried as she hugged Jade. “I love you Jade, and I know you’re going to be fine. The three of us,” she said rubbing her belly “are going to be better than fine, we’re going to be great.”
They left to go to Tommy’s house. Tessa drove Jade, and they held hands the whole way, except of course when she had to shift. They walked in, and Alex,
Lucas, and Ryan were already there. Tessa had made a fruit and vegetable platter with dips and bread. Lucas shook his head when he saw her carrying in food. She ignored him knowing he was hurting, and if he needed to lash out at her then she would let him.
The family viewing would be on Wednesday night at seven, the calling hours would be from one to four in the afternoon and six to nine that evening. The funeral was at the church on Friday morning. They asked Ryan, Alex, and
Lucas to be pall bearers along with three of Tommy’s relatives. They were going to find someone to sing.
“Tessa sing
s and Ryan’s sister plays piano. I’m sure they could do it,” Tessa looked at the floor and swallowed hard.
“Tessa
, would you?” Tommy’s mother asked.
“Sure I will, could you tell me what song,” she asked.
“Do you have any suggestions?”
“I will get a list for you and drop it off tomorrow
if that’s okay?” Tessa smiled sympathetically.
Before Tessa and Jade left
, Tessa looked towards the family room and saw Lucas looking through pictures with Tommy’s sisters. He looked alright. She needed him to be alright.
~
Jade woke every three hours again, and Tessa got up with her. Jade had already missed Monday and would be missing Thursday and Friday, so they decided to go to school. Tessa talked her into it.
They walked into school together, and Alex and
Lucas stood at their lockers, they were surrounded by cheerleaders and ball players. Tessa looked at them as she walked by holding Jade’s hand. They sat at lunch together. Lucas looked at the table the whole time and as soon as the bell rang he shot out the door.
Tessa walked after him and grabbed his hand, “
Lucas how are you?”
“I’m fine Tessa
. How’s Jade?” Lucas asked in a very cool tone.
“She’s going to be okay. S
he wakes up every three hours having horrible dreams,” Tessa said looking down.
“You’re staying with her?”
“Of course.”
“Good.”
“Are you okay?” Tessa asked.
“I told you
, I’m fine Tessa,” he started to walk away.
She grabbed his arm, “Hey
Lucas,” she hugged him. He stood motionless, and she looked up at him, “I’m so sorry.”
“Tessa
… I know.”
“
Lucas don’t push me away…. We’re friends.”
“No Tessa, we’re not,” he
looked down into her wounded eyes. “We can’t be. I understand that now. You need to do the same.”
Her eyes filled up, “Okay I’
m sorry.”
Tessa
let go and stepped back and Lucas walked away.
She walked into the locker room. She looked at her phone, she had a message from her mother and Ben, both just checking to see how she was,
and she replied to both that things were fine.
That night Tessa went to play practice. She walked out into the night air and stared up at the sky. She stood there and just breathed. She thought of everything that had gone on since September. Seven months, over half a year of her life had been hell. And for the next seven months she had to keep it together, for Jade. She had only a few hours of sleep a night and was exhausted. She was so sick of crying and so sick of trying to please him
, to no avail.
Tessa got in the Jeep and drove home to grab some clothes. He father was there with the kids
. She walked in and hugged them “I miss you,” she kissed them and went upstairs and threw some stuff in her bag and headed out the door.
Tessa pulled into Jade's, and
Lucas’ SUV was in the driveway. She sat in the Jeep for a few minutes and finally got out, took a deep breath and walked in. He and Jade were sitting with Ryan, Becca, and Phoebe at the table. She walked in and said hi and kissed Jade’s head and walked by. She went in and sat at the coffee table and took her homework out and started it. She heard them talk and once in awhile laugh. She finished her chemistry and started reading. She fell asleep curled in a blanket in a chair with her book on her knees. She woke up to Jade’s screams and ran in. She woke her up and lay with her. She saw the books on her nightstand, the one’s she had given Lucas. She lay down and fell asleep with Jade.
She went to school and sat with them at lunch and read her lines as she ate an apple.
“Tessa your play is this week.”
“Yep, starts tomorrow night. So I won’t be able to be at the evening calling hours Jade, I’m sorry,” Tessa said apologetically.
“Oh Tessa you haven’t slept. You have to go home tonight.”
“No
, I don’t I’ll be fine,” Tessa said and to avoid the argument she got up and left.
The dress rehearsal was a success. When she got to Jade’s they were all there again. The family viewing had been that night, and she was sure it was a rough night for Jade. She walked in, and they all sat in the living room.
“Hello everyone.”
“Hello Tessa,” they all said, except for
Lucas, he just looked at the floor.
Tessa wondered if he was intentionally trying to avoid eye contact or if he was really falling apart. She wondered if his mother was alright, and if he had talked to Audrianna and his father.
Tessa realized she was staring at him and looked around; everyone else seemed to notice it too. She walked into the bathroom and wanted to scream. She washed off the rest of the makeup and brushed her teeth.
“Are you alright in
there?” Phoebe tapped on the door.
“Yep, I will be out in a minute,” Tessa answered as she tried to pull it together.
Tessa came out and sat on the floor. She grabbed a blanket and grabbed her book. Within minutes, she was asleep.
“Is she okay Jade?” Phoebe asked.
“I think so, I’m not sure,” Jade replied.
Phoebe went over and felt her head.
“She’s warm. Hey Tessa wake up,” Phoebe shook her a bit.
Tessa shook her head no. Jade went and grabbed a thermometer and stuck it in her ear. Tessa woke
up, “What was that for,” Tessa asked holding her ear.
“You have a fever Tessa,” Phoebe said.
“I’m fine,” Tessa said and stood up. She was embarrassed. She walked into Jade’s room and made a bed on the floor and lay down.
Phoebe walked in and gave her Tylenol and a cup of water.
“Tessa just take these please.”
She did and fell asleep on the floor.
She woke to Jade’s screams and woke her up and talked until she fell asleep. It happened more that night. Tessa knew it was because of the viewing.
~
Today the drama club was putting on a scene in front of the school, it went well. She could see Lucas from where she stood as she sang. He looked right through her.
After school Tessa went to Jade’s and for once h
elped her get ready. Jade wore black dress pants and a button up shirt and Tessa wore black tank dress with a gray waist length cardigan. Both wore their hair down and straight and light makeup. At three o’clock they left and held hands as they walked into the funeral home. Tommy’s family sat and cried.
“Jade I’
ll be in the back if you need me.”
She went down the line of chairs and hugged each one and gave her condolences.
She came to Lucas and looked at him and took a deep breath and hugged him.
“
Lucas I’m very sorry.”
Lucas
returned her hug and said “Thank You.”
His
cheek touched hers, “Tessa you’re very warm come with me.”
~
Lucas grabbed her hand and walked outside and opened his SUV door. He told her to get in. He drove to the pharmacy and got out.
“I will be right back.”
He returned with some sort of thermometer, Tylenol and water. He opened the package and read the instructions; he ran it across her forehead and read it.
“You have a 101 temperature, take these,”
Lucas handed her two Tylenol and opened a water bottle and handed it to her.
He pulled out of the pharmacy and turned left.
“Lucas you’re going the wrong way.”
“No Tessa, you are going home.”
“No Lucas, I need to be there for Jade.”
“You have been, and now you’re sick, someone else can s
tay with her tonight.”
“
Lucas, please turn around. I’m not going home.”
Lucas
pulled into her driveway and reached across her and opened the door.
“Out Tessa now,” she looked at him confused, “Now damn it!”
She got out and went inside and cried.
She sent a text to Cassidy
-hey Cassidy could you pick me up before the play? I’m without a vehicle...T
-of course …C
Tessa grabbed some chicken bouillon and heated water; she drank it and felt better. She ate a couple crackers and went and started a load of laundry. She lay on the couch and snuggled with Chewy and fell asleep. Her phone alarm went off, and she jumped up. She made a thermos full of hot water with bullion. She brushed her teeth and grabbed the Tylenol and put it in her bag.
~
The play was going great; at intermission she took more Tylenol and drank her hot water. They received a standing ovation at the end. She went back stage and was putting her gown back into the dressing room.
“Hey hot stuff,” she heard
Tessa turned around.
“B
en,” she yelled and hugged him.
He gave her a dozen roses.
“You were amazing,” Ben kissed her, “You’re hot.”
“Why thank you,” she smiled. “You’
re not so bad yourself, and the flowers Ben are gorgeous.”